DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

08

Jul

Heidi Klum Bikinis of the Day

Heidi Klum may be 100 years old and she may have a dozen half black babies and her body may have been ravaged by Seal’s arm sized penis…but she still looks good enough in a bikini for me…which isn’t saying much, I have a bikini fetish and can jerk off to bikinis hanging on a clothes line, it’s a talent…a very weird talent that I thank my delusions and imagination for making possible…but not as much as I thank Heidi Klum for putting that well traveled ass crack on Instagram to show off her sunburn..that’s the kind of light hearted fun that could get a bitch raped…especially when she looks like Heidi Klum, I mean she’s almost begging for someone to shit on her like she was still in Germany…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE BIKINI PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Heidi Klum

2013

08

Jul

Paris Hilton in a Bikini of the Day

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If you’ve been wondering where Paris Hilton has been all these years of irrelevance, where she belongs cuz she’s a useless cunt who just happens to not be worthless thanks to Grandpa..

She’s been teaching her dog this move for the paparazzi…you like like the circus clown she is…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Paris Hilton

2013

08

Jul

Uma Thurman in Bikini of the Day

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This just in, Uma Thurman is still not a man, despite what her hands have been trying to tell us all these years…and she still confidently put on a bikini, even if there should have been a little resistance on her part, you know a little insecurity, self doubt…negotiations as to whether there were other options for her…but I’ll still stare but more because I’m trying to understand why I have the same bikini body as her…am I the one with the pear shaped problem with high estrogen levels thanks to not taking care of myself…or is she the pear shaped body with high testosterone…or worse..am I Uma Thurman? Or do I just look like her in a bikini…too many questions I don’t have answers for, this is too deep for me this hungover in the day… but I do have the pics of UMA and I Date you to look at them……

To See the Rest of the Pics FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Uma Thurman

2013

08

Jul

Victoria Justice in a Bikini With her Sister of the Day

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Victoria Justice has a porn name and she’s modelling in a bikini on the beach…leading me to believe that when this child star shit is over for her…she’ll be sucking dick on camera…just hoping people still care or at least remember her like it was still that glory days…that or she’ll just get knocked up some rich producer to live the Hollwyood life from the other angle, but that’s far less fun than breaking…and struggling to matter…and while we wait with very little anticipation as to what happens to her, since we don’t give a fuck about her now, here she is in a bikini for the internet….

Posted in:Victoria Justice

2013

08

Jul

J.Woww in a Bathing Suit of the Day

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It must be a devastating day for J.Woww….knowing that Snooki and her fitness, despite being a mom, has a hotter body than her…

It is a devastating day for me, knowing that Snooki and her fitness despite being a mom, has a hotter body that J.Woww…

Whenever these garbage humans come along and I know who they are, I kinda hate myself a little more than I already do…the good news the best medicine for hating myself is drinking and that’s my fucking favorite…

Posted in:J Woww

2013

08

Jul

Cora Keegan Nudes of the Day

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I have posted some of these pics a few months ago ….but today, I found more…and since I am in love with Cora Keegan, despite forgetting that I was in love with Cora Keegan, and needing these pics to remind me that I am in love with Cora Keegan, because there are just so many babes out there, so little time to keep track of them unless they are knocking down my door throwing their vaginas at me, something I am surprised Cora Keegan isn’t doing for me, because of how badly I want to have unprotected sex with her, even though she’s a model and probably the kind of girl the average man would want to use a condom with, as their lives are full of unprotected sex with guys in bands, but dirty girls turn me on, and condoms just get in the way of love and by love I mean me trying to impregnateher, because she’s just that lovely!! You know, make it for life.

I’m a fan.

Posted in:Cora Keegan|NSFW

2013

08

Jul

Rita Ora Busty Yacht Mount of the Day

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Rita Ora is the UK Rihanna impersonator they are crafter and moulding to be the next Rihanna, only she’s got better tits, and thanks to a training routine, a better body, as she teaches us the proper way to mount a yacht after jumping in, with titties out, all soaking wet, because we all will be mounting yachts all summer as we are high society up at DrunkenStepfather.com, even if we aren’t being trained to be the next Rihanna just as soon as Rihanna falls off the fucking deep end….a deep end I’d like to watch Rita Ora climb out of, since she’s so good at getting out of the water…you like what I did there…I took titty pics and made them a metaphor of her life…I’m a fucking genius, fuck you.

To see the rest of the pics FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Rita Ora

2013

08

Jul

Astrid Baarsma is Alright for Gioia of the Day

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Astrid Baarsma is some model I’ve never heard of who I know nothing about, which is probably the best way to have a love affair with pictures, so that you don’t get weird or obsessive about her, you know you can look but you can’t track her or her family down, or show up on their porch drunk singing love songs to her trying to finally win her over after masturbating to her so long your penis rubbed of like a BBQ Sauce stain on your shirt…

You know, keep things casual, she gets out there and has her picture taken, while we stay at least 100 yards away from her and masturbate to them, it is really in everyone’s best interest to keep things that way.

Posted in:Astrid Baarsma

2013

08

Jul

Daft Punk Secret Live Performance is so Hipster of the Day

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You know the band that white people like is legitimately the coolest shit out there, you know so hipster and underground, so fashion forward when people like this sing it…you know nothing like a fat woman in a Hawaiian shirt in her 50s and her husband in his cubano hat…so hip…

I guess we know why they wear masks at their concerts, they don’t want us to know the truth..

That said, all you trend followers are fucking idiots. Nothing is cool. Deal with it.

I bet they play a mean Stayin Alive, or Grease Theme Song, or Sweet Caroline…what the fuck.

Posted in:Videos

2013

08

Jul

Bar Refaeli for Fox of the Day

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It is safe to say that this is the worst shoot ever.

I mean they hired Bar Refaeli, who despite being on the tail end of her career and looks, is still Bar Refaeli and probably charging more than she did at her peak, you know how these old timers in retirement do things, you gotta make it worth their while to get them out of the house, leaving no budget for a photographer, so either a friend of the family with a good camera was brought in, or they borrowed the studio at SEARS cuz they know the manager and he let them in after hours, and whatever it is, it’s a waste of Bar Refaeli tits, even if the milk in them expired back when Leonardo DiCaprio was done with her….

That said, every pic from this set makes me laugh.

Posted in:Bar Refaeli