DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

24

Jun

Alyssa Milano in Maxim Old Ladies You’d Still Fuck Issue Of the Day

Seeing Alyssa Milano all posing sexy in Maxim is weird to be…not because I saw her hairy arms, she’s had lasered on TV grow up before my very eyes, from 14 to 100 fucking years old, and seeing her try to be sexy makes me uncomfortable, but because she’s 100 fucking years old, and posing sexy, and that in itself should make everyone feel uncomfortable.

I don’t care if she’s hot for 100, or not, she’s still a menopausal dried up twat who has no business being half naked…

I don’t care how much she works out or how much estrogen she pumps herself with to stay youthful and womanly during “THE CHANGE”..

I don’t care how many obsessed fans are still into her cuz they are freaks and don’t know how to move on in their lives to experience new things, because the old and familiar are comfortable.

This should have never happened…

But I guess seeing as Maxim is going a dying magazine, it’s only natural to feature actresses whose sex appeal is dying if not already dead…

[PICS REMOVED BY MAXIM]

Posted in:Alyssa Milano

2013

24

Jun

Pool Party Fail of the Day

No Comments »

So apparently Jagermeister decided to pull some publicity stunt in the form of a Pool party in mexico, where they dumped liquid nitrogen in the pool, to create this weird smoke affect, that happened to be toxic, after the liquid nitrogen and the chlorine came in contact…sending 9 people to the hospital, one of them still in coma…in what is probably not the worst way to die, you know surrounded by half naked pussy, free booze and dance music, I mean shit’s better than cancer…

Either way, this is the pool party fail of the day. Fucking Mexicans.

Posted in:Videos

2013

24

Jun

Kelly Cunningham is Still Nude and Bushy in Purple of the Day

1 Comment »

Show NSFW Content

[kelly cunningham wanted the pics removed because she’s a confused girl who gets naked for a camera but who doesn’t like when people talk about her being naked you can see her shitty pics HERE

She’s not very hot, but she’s naked and has bush, and I guess that makes her worth looking at, that’s kind of what I imagine she is going for, because if she wasn’t naked and with bush, she’d exist even less than she already does. Which just goes to show you if you’re naked in pictures, even when low grade and bottom feeding – people like me will look…

Here’s the original post without pics – thanks Kelly.

A long time ago, I POSTED PICS OF KELLY CUNNINGHAM NUDE FOR PURPLE ….

She has an IMDB page and that makes her matter…but more importantly, she has a bush, and that makes her actually matter, at least to me, because as cute as a bald pussy can be, there’s something about rubbing your hair, teeth, penis through a girl’s pubic hair that is way more erotic, especially when it comes to cumming, cuz cumming on the carpet, just looks better and is less slippery than cumin on the marble floor, not to mention the carpet has less ingrown hair scabs that look like herpes.

Not that it matters, the bush fight, is one I am going to lose, because the media is too powerful and girls everywhere think it is gross, cuz thinking it is gross sells fucking product…product I should protest if I wasn’t so lazy.

[kelly cunningham wanted the pics removed because she’s a confused girl who gets naked for a camera but who doesn’t like when people talk about her being naked you can see her shitty pics HERE

She’s not very hot, but she’s naked and has bush, and I guess that makes her worth looking at, that’s kind of what I imagine she is going for, because if she wasn’t naked and with bush, she’d exist even less than she already does. Which just goes to show you if you’re naked in pictures, even when low grade and bottom feeding – people like me will look…

Here’s the original post without pics – thanks Kelly.

Posted in:Kelly Cunningham|NSFW

2013

24

Jun

Tara Reid Bikini Crowd Surf of the Day

No Comments »

Tara Reid was at my friend Steve Aoki’s event at Wet Republic in Vegas this past weekend, and not only did he get a nice long hug from her, but he got her into one of his props, an inflatable dingy to ride the sea of people, like they were a sea of water…in some new generation crowd surfing, done by the old generation, because at 37, despite being tight bodied and big fake titty busty, she’s like the grandmother of Spring Break pool parties…a veteran since that’s all she’s been doing the last 2 decades, longer than most of the people at the party have been alive….I guess the kids still respond to her in ways they don’t respond to my old ass at pool parties, where I’m just there to creep on people, because I am not a celebrity…

I prefer Tara Reid holding onto her youth with more vagina lips…but I’ll take this adventurous old lady who may not be 40, but might as well be 40…and I’d still have sex with her as often as possible if I could. There’s just something about drunken messes I love that comes from how preserved they are from all the fumes they are riding off of…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Tara Reid

2013

24

Jun

The Kate Upton Topless Pics of the Day

2 Comments »

Show NSFW Content

I am not convinced that these pictures of Kate Upton uncensored are actually Kate Upton’s tits, but rather some weird perverts low quality photoshop skills, because if it looks real it might as well be real…

I am pretty sure she had pasties on in the making of this photoshoot, and that they just want us to think that she was topless, you know since her tits are all that matter about her…as the rest of her body is a pile of sloppiness..

I am not convinced that these pics of Kate Upton uncensored are real, because I would expect her nipples to either aim for the ground a lot more aggressively, even 2 years ago when this was shot…or look more like a cow udder.

The good news is, I’ll post it anyway….

The fact that topless pics of her are so hard to come across, is just further proof that she’s not a real model. Real models have all been topless, and you can google them to see their nipples, but Kate Upton, she’s just more of a non nude BBW / BBQ fetish…horrible…

Posted in:Kate Upton|NSFW

2013

24

Jun

McKayla Maroney’s Underage Bikini Pics of the Day

No Comments »

IT’s not inappropriate to stare at an underage girl in a bikini, if you pretend you don’t know her age, like meeting her in the night club, and telling yourself the bouncer did the filtering for you, and he gave her 21, makin’ her fair game, even if she tells you she is actually 17, you just pretend she’s playing with your mind, before you go home with her, only to see she lives with her parents, and is still in high school, but you go for it anyway, cuz you’re not getting laid otherwise, I mean if you met in a club she must have progressive parents into this kind of thing…right?

I mean McKayla won the fucking Olympic cold, she’s a national icon, she belongs to America, there no age on that…

But there is a bikini on that…and here are the pics.

Posted in:McKayla Maroney

2013

24

Jun

Whitney Port’s Nipple Slip of the Day

No Comments »

Show NSFW Content

Whitney Port may remind you of when pop culture was just as horrible as it is now, and there was a show called The Hills, that paved the way for shit like Jersey Shore and THe Kardashians, you know the early to market garbage used to dumb down the youth with vapid cunts talking about nonsense that was set up to be addictive for idiot kids, making garbage people think were famous…..

But she reminds me of two girls I saw braless and in summer dresses earlier today, while waiting for a coffee,staring and hoping their tit would fall out as they told each other very intense stories that probably weren’t that intense at all, but they thought they were…

Only unlike Whitney Port, the two girls I saw, didn’t fall out of their dresses…but they were more exciting and less sad than this cry for attention…

Posted in:NSFW|Whitney Port

2013

24

Jun

Farrah Abraham New Tits Topless on the Beach of the Day

4 Comments »

Show NSFW Content

If you read the site, you will know that I really endorse this Farrah Abraham and her move into porn.

It’s not just because I had the EXCLUSIVE CLIP OF HER SQUIRTING

It’s much bigger than that….

It’s like she represents all the is wrong in the world, while doing things the way I want her to be doing things…

I mean sure, she’s annoying, she’s a total entitled cunt, even though she’s nothing but a porn chick. She’s got shitty implants, even with her new ones…but she squirts…on camera…for the promise of more fame…like she’s Kim Kardashian, only not Kim Kardashian…cuz Kim Kardashian played the sex tape as a scandal, where she was the victim, while this one is posing topless on the beach in staged shoots, attending porn conventions, all while pretending to not be a pornstar, when all she’s really done to date that matters, other than being a responsible teen with her pussy, is porn…

I mean she’ll never be a big deal, she’ll never be hot, but bitch squirts and that’s some magical shit, when it happens in a porn with a pornstar as she pretends it’s not porn.

Celebrity Sex Tapes, for the promise of Fame and Fortune, to those who don’t matter anymore, or never did, is porn to me…and I guess it is porn to everyone, including the porn companies who produce it…and Farrah, love her or hate her, is owning this shit, and doing it right…even if it’s obvious, played out, there’s still nudity and I love it…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Farrah Abraham|NSFW

2013

24

Jun

Nina Dobrev Bikini Top with her Brother of the Day

1 Comment »

So it turns out that Nina Dobrev fans do not like when you suggest her and her brother fucked while they were in Paradise together…

Because they don’t view fucking a sibling as if it is masturbation, you know keeping it in the family, cuz we are one…even though so many brother and sisters fuck, especially during puberty, they just don’t talk about it, because society would shun them…

Nina Dobrev’s People went nuts on me for this Tweet…

It almost hurt my feelings…but I have no feelings…and even if I did, these insignificant things wouldn’t affect them…but it was kinda funny…for a couple minutes while I was taking a shit…and actually using twitter to distract me from the loneliness that comes with taking shits.

Posted in:Nina Dobrev

2013

24

Jun

Cristina Tosio Hot for Elle Spain of the Day

No Comments »

Cristina Tosio is a Spanish Model…and in being Spanish…she would probably cut off your dick if you were her boyfriend and she assumed you were cheating on her with the waitress that served you at the restaurant who you stared at for a few seconds longer than you should have….You see Spanish girls are passionate like that…making them pretty intense fucks…if you’re willing to risk losing your penis for them…which luckily, every time I fuck, I am…that is the foundation of me not using condoms…I’m like “Whatever, let’s get this done”…I mean it’s not like AIDS is a death sentence, and if I haven’t got herpes yet, after all the gutter pussy I’ve been inside, statistically, I probably never will….not that my penis has anything to do with this Cristina chick, but it may if I stare at these bikini pics much longer.

Posted in:Cristina Tosio