DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

29

May

Doutzen Kroes’ Amazing Picture for Instagram of the Day

Doutzen Kroes did good for instagram…I wonder how she took this picture of herself, or maybe it’s just one from a photoshoot that makes her feel like she’s hot, desirable, and that she wants everyone to see, because it makes her feel good about herself….even though you’d think her bank account that is full thanks to the way she looks is enough for her….you know at this stage she can put ugly pics up and they still look better than the pussy we all fuck, but I guess she prefers the pro shots, you know to showcase her work, and get that pat on the back from us perverts that wish our instagram “Like” was our semen….inside her….but she prefers darker colored DJs you your pasty failure ass…..because you see…she’s got this ass and it’s professional grade, no time for amateurs.

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes

2013

29

May

J.Lo’s Cameltoe on Britain’s Got Talent of the Day

No Comments »

This is horrible. J.Lo on her own is the fucking worst. Whether she’s claiming she’s just Jenny from the Block, while really she’s just some con artist who rode the Latina wave to make a fortune, with an ego that clearly thinks she’s talented and worthy of being on TV, Stage and movies….like a self proclaimed triple threat, when the only thing about her that’s making me feel threatened is her cunt….as it tries to eat her costume…a costume no old lady, no matter how in denial she is, should be wearing….

Posted in:J.Lo

2013

29

May

Import Car Model Dance of the Day

No Comments »

Sometimes…We all need a little Asian import model acting a fool at the car show…because crazy dances allow us to imagine crazy #anal.

Posted in:Videos

2013

29

May

Anastasia Ashley Hot Surfer Ass in a Bikini Covered in Sand of the Day

No Comments »

Anastasia Ashley is a hot surfer chick who I’d love to watch surfing on my wave….of belly fat while she’s trying to find my penis…something I’ve seen countless girls do…but none were ever pro surfers…

Unfortunately she doesn’t answer me when I write comments on her facebook page…or to her twitter…she gets on all the hot Athlete lists, probably has some lame surfer boyfriend she thinks is cool cuz he teaches her moves, you know like girl skaters do with skaters….I heard the Avril Lavigne song, I know how these action sports people work…

Luckily, I know a guy who knows a guy who knows how to hack emails, websites and whatever the fuck else, that will get him arrested, but that gets me hot pics of hot asses on private beaches surfing…She’s fit, I want to chip a tooth on her booty muscle while running away from sharks….cuz no one wants to lose an arm to those fuckers like JESUS LOVING WHICH DID HER A LOT OF GOOD BETHANY HAMILTON …it makes giving double handjobs impossible….

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|stepEXCLUSIVE

2013

29

May

Kate Upton for Victoria’s Secret Scandal of the Day

4 Comments »

Victoria’s Secret is jumping on the Kate Upton wave of fat, even though they are supposed to be pure and never use plus sized models, no matter how much hype they get, no matter how much the fans want them to, no matter how fat their actual client base is…

I mean they’ve worked years to feature fit as fuck half naked girls, a positive image for girls everywhere to look up to, and the idea of sneaking in this pic from 2011, of Kate Upton pre-obesity, is just despressing…I don’t want sloppy piles of shit in boring as fuck catalogs…I want babes…

I get it though, it’s good for marketing, get people talking, publicity stunt…and really it’s tits in a bra, I got no complaints, even if I hate all Kate Upton represents, since I’m not the restaurant owner of a restaurant she frequents, cuz if I was, she’d be my favorite fatty around.

Posted in:Kate Upton

2013

29

May

Paris Hilton Brought Her Herpes to the Beach of the Day

2 Comments »

Paris Hilton an era where I was more relevant, more passionate about hating all these vapid cunts, a beacon of hope and by hope I mean a bitch I would slander and shit on using the blog on the regular, I mean some of my best posts probably involved her…and seeing her, older, sloppier, with her very own K-Fed, I am reminded of a better time, with less cellulite, less monogamy, just as much herpes scabs…herpes scabs I’m not even compelled to make fun of…because I’m old, tired and so is Paris….we’ve been down this road already….so many times….it’s done.

I guess this is growing up…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Paris Hilton

2013

29

May

Nina Agdal Bikini Polaroids of the Day

No Comments »

Someone pulled up Nina Agdal’s polaroids from her agency and she looks way less Downs Syndrome than usual. Fascinating. I know.

Posted in:Nina Agdal

2013

29

May

Sabrina Djuric in her Bathing Suit for Grazia Netherlands of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s another model I’ve never heard of named Sabrina Djuric modeling bathing suits with her long lean and amazing bathing suit body….that reminds me that so many girls I’ve seen in bathing suits, or even naked ar just so fucking flawed, it’s like looking at this I know “This is What It Is Supposed to Look Like”, I’ve been doing it all wrong all these years….

Posted in:Sabrina Djuric

2013

29

May

Kelly Brook for AXE of the Day

No Comments »

Kelly Brook is in a new AXE Campaign, because really what else is she capable of doing with herself, it’s not like she’s gonna win an Oscar or some shit, and she’s only got a small window to make money…with her amazing fucking titties…that are really the only reason any of us know who she is…

All I know is that I am sure she wishes she lived in a world with no gravity….to prevent her from sagging into a 40 year old no one cares about.

I didn’t bother watching the clip, because watching commercials for the cleavage is on the lower end of my priority or interest level list, but I am sure you’ll watch it, make it viral and make that rancid spray that I can’t believe any dude would wear, more money than they already make….

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2013

29

May

Maty Matusevich Models Some Lida Lingerie of the Day

No Comments »

Girls with guy names, are amazing, because they don’t look like girls who would have guy names…..you know like ROGER the bull dyke down the hall, is a miss use of a girl with a guy’s name, while this Maty Matusevich, model from wherever the fuck she’s from , is lovely…

What’s also lovely is the shoot, because it’s all trailer park fantasy, see I’ve been in trailer parks, and they are far more fat, toothless, even the illegitimate teen pregnant ones…

Lookin’ good in lingerie girl with a guy’s name.

Posted in:Maty Matusevich