DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

04

Apr

I Miss Alyssa Milano’s Hairy Arms of the Day

I hate Alyssa Milano and not because she blocked me on social media. And not because she’s 100 years old and a do good mom. And not because she’s struggling in her tight dress showing off her legs. And not because she’s some internet savvy entrepreneur probably making huge fortunes while doing it.

I hate Alyssa Milano because she’s caved into society’s expectations of her. We bullied her for having hairy fucking arms, and she’s reacted by getting laser hair removal on the shit, like a fucking pussy, insecure bitch, who lets bullies push her around, instead of embracing her hairy fucking destiny, and that just shows me that she’s a weak fucking person, who will raise weak fucking kids, and is the reason why bullying is being banned, because these assholes who were bullied, and are too insecure to defend themselves, are running the fucking show.

Bullying makes for stronger people, kills off the weak, and in Alyssa Milano’s case, cleans up her high testosterone levels nicely.

So fuck you bully haters and fuck you Alyssa Milano

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Posted in:Alyssa Milano

2013

04

Apr

Russian News Story of the Day

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This can’t be real. I am thinking it is a clip for Russia’s Saturday Night Live and since I’m not from Russia, I’m believing it to be an actual story, because the people they are interviewing are laughing when being interviewed, but it is Russia and weird shit happens there, like this, a story of a man shoving his foot in a guys ass, causing internal bleeding and death.

Real of fake, this story deserves attention cuz it’s hilarious.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2013

04

Apr

Lacey Banghard for Page 3 of the Day

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Lacey Banghard is average at best. I mean I doubt you’d even notice her at a bar unless you were drunk or she was dancing around with her tits spilling out everywhere, yet the second that shirt comes off, people stop in their tracks, offer her modeling contracts, and give her immigrant ass a life of luxury, paving the way to getting a Soccer playing husband to finance her life, and never actually having to work a real job.

And all it took was showing her tits.

They should teach these lessons in Elementary school. You know so girls get that working a 9-5 for 40k a year is bullshit, and if they stay fit and are willing to get naked, all their princess dreams can come true.

Posted in:Lacey Banghard|NSFW

2013

04

Apr

Amy Markham Hot in a Bikini Showing Nipple of the Day

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I saw these pictures of Amy Markham yesterday and I felt the need to post them. Not because I know who Amy Markham is, but after much research I have learned that she’s an attention seeking hooker who wears skimpy ass shit bikinis with her tits spilling out because it will draw the attention she wants so badly to her. She’s also been in FHM, GQ and Esquire. She’s also got huge fucking tits, is a smalltown girl from texas, and has worked around the clock to reach global success, global success that before being on a beach with paid papaprazzi showing her nipple, I never heard of…..

She’s garbage, she’s struggling, and that makes her lovely and amazing.

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Posted in:Amy Markham

2013

04

Apr

Kim Kardashian Disgusts Me of the Day

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I find it totally fucking insane that people are posting these Kim Kardashian pictures today, because who cares about Kim Kardashian, especially not while walking around pregnant, after taking this whole eating for two cuz she can finally undo her belt buckle shit seriously, looking like a fucking farm animal, that should or would be better off sent to the slaughter house and put out of her bloated Octomom lookin’ misery, but instead sites are saying shit like “look how busty she is”….well she’s fucking pregnant, and massive, and even pre-pregnancy was a fucking pug who liked to get covered in mud…if you know what I mean….

So stop giving her attention, encourage any psycho friends you have to target her, tell North Korea her address so they know where to bomb if they go through with their plans, she’s the fucking worst thing to happen to society. A fucking terrorist, and so is her pussy and whatever evil she has brewing in it.

Or maybe, we as a people could collectively ignore her existence, and then with the magic of no one caring, she’ll do like Paris Hilton and disappear without violence.

Do your party, boycott the Kardashians. THanks.

That’s all I have to say about that….

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Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2013

04

Apr

Robert Downey Jr Gangnam Style for Korea of the Day

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So Robert Downey Jr is at the World Premiere of Iron Man 3 and they Koreans decided to try to relate to him the one way they know how – with Gangnam Style and he went along with it, in what is a weird fucking video, that I think is bridging the gap between the West and Korea, one horrible, internet sensation at a time. Not that North Korea is allowed internet….but maybe a spy will inform them that through dance, it will all be ok. Unless they find the whole thing racist and mocking their culture, which is kinda what I think is happening here.

Posted in:Robert Downey Jr

2013

04

Apr

Nicole Richie’s Horrible Panty Line of the Day

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Nicole Richie is a horrible person, and not just because even her own mother didn’t want her and threw her in the fucking dumpster outside a Lionel Richie concert like it was prom, where luckily for her, Lionel Richie picked her up and raised her as his own, giving her all the things her crackhead mom couldn’t, pretty much a lottery ticket that has lead to TV roles, socialite status, drug addiction, lame boyfriends and baby daddies, and clothing lines…when all she was supposed to do was die of an overdose in the projects at 16….or end up on the streets sucking dick for 5 dollars…but instead, instead she’s fucking hollywood.

But not Hollywood enough to not wear thick underwear to the gym. I’m guessing she’s on her period, or just has a leaky cunt filled with afterbirth, cuz whatever is going on here is fucking jokes, but then again the ass of a mom of two with gastric bypass surgery in leggings usually is, pantylines or not.

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Posted in:Nicole Richie

2013

04

Apr

Arianny Celeste and Brittney Palmer for FHM of the Day

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I am really not into Arianny Celesete or Brittney Palmer. They are America’s answer to Glamour Models, but all I see is pornstars, who would have done porn, but who instead got recruited by Dana White to be his ring girls, all implants and hard bodies and all, pretty much becoming these celebrities with so many fans as the sport gets more and more popular, ruining the chances of these Vegas showgirls/strippers, from really becoming what I like to think they were destined to become.

The only good thing about them is that they are fit, they slut out, and despite not showing spread pussy, they do still look good,

I mean their whole purpose is to straighten up the UFC’s gayness, a job that isn’t so hard to do, I mean the testosterone driven animals who watch the shit would fuck anything while pumped after a fight. Fat chicks or even old ladies, meaning they are a little overkill, and it doesn’t take much effort to do their job, but they still do it and now FHM is celebrating them as they hang on with a thread and here is their spread.

Here’s the behind the scenes video…

Posted in:Arianny Celesete|Brittney Palmer

2013

04

Apr

Karolina Kurkova Making Faces for Elle Czech of the Day

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Karolina Kurkova is my favorite model, turned plus sized and threatened to lose her job for being fat, because unlike working the cash at Walmart, modeling is the one job you can still fire a bitch for her gut without having letters written to head office, or media involvement saying you’re discriminating based on obesity levels, even though statistically, obese people are lazy and shitty for business. Only, Karolina Kurkova decided that instead of fighting them and making a scandal out of the evil corporation turning on her for being fat, she was going to do what was best for everyone involved, and that’s get in shape….so now, as she makes faces for Elle Czech….I can sit back and appreciate her for not giving in like so many other women do, she said “Slow metabolism, you can’t beat me”….and look how good it’s worked out. Take her advice all you fat bitches out there, cuz no one like a fat bitch. FACT.

Posted in:Karolina Kurkova

2013

04

Apr

Karlie Kloss for i-D Magazine of the Day

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When you realize that Karlie Kloss is 6 foot 2 or 6 foot 6 in heels, rockin a size 12 foot, she kinda loses any and all sex appeal. You know, put her against a white wall, and she’s proportionate, has a great figure, long and lean, with little tits and legs for fucking days, but stand next to her, and you become a fraction of the man you are, her shoulders broader than yours. It’s like a Universal Stuidos optical illusion, but when you put things into perspective, those feet are the length of your fucking arm.

But lucky for her, none of us will ever be next to her in line at the grocery store, or put up against her in a Volleyball match, we just see her in pictures, sometimes with other tall freak women, and I think it’s better for all of us that way. It’s less of a horror movie and more of a, holy fuck those are some serious legs.

Posted in:Karlie Kloss