DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

03

Apr

Mariah Carey is a Mermaid Sent from Heaven of the Day

I’d say Mariah Carey is a mystical creature sent from heaven with a voice of an angel designed to save the fucking world, but I’m only posting these pics cuz that booty, mom of 2 pushing 50, is fat and stuffed into a tight dress like a sausage, or my penis in a beer bottle, and for some reason I find it mesmerizing.

Sure she was better in her bi-polar suicide insanity, cuz insane girls fuck better, but when it comes to Mariah Carey, I’ll take whatever I get….and usually ignore it…except for today…today…I’m down.

Posted in:Mariah Carey

2013

03

Apr

Heidi Klum Saves Her Son With Her Nipple of the Day

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There’s some story going around about how Heidi Klum saved her black son, because apparently he got his ability to swim from his Father’s side of the family, but the more interesting side of the story, is that her big mom titty fell out of her mom bikini while in a moment of panic or crisis, because despite having 12 more kids to replace him, you know that she lined up in the event tragedy struck, like some kind of hoarder, at the expense of her vagina and its tightness, or a good planner…and the paparazzi, responded to the panic by taking as many pics as possible, cuz helping just leads to lawsuits in America, while taking pics leads to making unethical money.

Here’s her nipple, on a breast beat up by breast feeding so many times, like a dog you see at the dog park after one too many litters, and I dig it.

To See The Rest of the Pics
FOllow this Link

Posted in:Heidi Klum|NSFW

2013

03

Apr

The Best Video On the Internet Ever of the Day

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I’m pretty pumped that the internet and webcams have penetrated the white trash, inbred, uneducated, monster of a person who makes up 75% of the American Population….because videos like this exist. I like to think this is why the Internet was invented.

This freak is on webcam talking about squirting and it’s not very sexy, but it is very fucking creepy, something I think should inspire horror movies…or a reality show.

This bitch is the next Chris Crocker, the next William Hung, she’s a viral sensation, but it’s so awkward watching her.

Video of this retard via my homies at NEWSFILTER (NSFW)

This is my porn.

Posted in:Videos

2013

03

Apr

Kaley Cuoco Doing Yoga for Instagram of the Day

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I have a Yoga Fetish. One so bad that I may even join a Yoga class to look at all the girls, and I’m the kind of guy who can’t walk up a couple stairs without gassing out, pretty much having an asthma attack, leading to heart attack, borderline dying like I was John Ritter…..but I am willing to risk my life so stare at girls in amazing poses, wearing tight outfits….

I like Yoga so much I don’t even notice Kaley Cuoco’s gunt at her ears, I’m just takin’ it all in….I’m not even wondering why bitch got her boyfriend or friend to take this pic, is this a move she’s proud of, is this how she seduces her fans, is she good at this? Is this her version of a selfie, who cares I need more yoga…whether it’s a TV star in the shit or not….

Posted in:Kaley Cuoco

2013

03

Apr

Olga Kurylenko Squatting for Instyle of the Day

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Olga Kurylenko is a very popular Russian bride who escaped communism through a modeling front and random marriages to various men, securing citizenship in various countries, you know using her sex appeal to better her life, and in turn better ours, cuz now you can masturbate on her, rather than order drinks from her when visiting Russia on a school trip.

As a driven Russian, who doesn’t let adversity get in her way, she’s now a big movie star, in Tom Cruise movies and shit…and now she’s squatting in Instyle like she’s taking a shit…what won’t this bitch do to get ahead…

I’m into it

Posted in:Olga Kurylenko

2013

03

Apr

Kate Bock Gives me Boners in Galore of the Day

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Kate Bock is Sports Illustrated rookie of the year….

Not that Sports Illustrated means all that much, despite all these busty bitches dreaming of being in it, because I guess they’ve marketed themselves into being a “Man’s bible” and thus girls want to be featured in it, as that stamp of approval they need, cuz daddy didn’t hug them enough, and real fashion called them fat.

I’m talking to you Kate Upton.

Well now, this Kate Bock, loveliness, is modeling for something called Galore and although not in a bikini or even showing nipple, as new fashion models often to, she’s still lookin fucking hot in pantyhose or lingerie, or whatever that is….making me a fan.

Posted in:Kate Bock

2013

03

Apr

Ginta Lapina’s Easter Egg Inspired Lingerie Pics of the Day

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Her name is Ginta Lapina, she’s a 23 year old Latvian model, who is now working for La Senza, which is a Canadian company that sold to Victoria’s Secret for a billion dollars a couple of years ago, because Victoria’s Secret likes to eat up the competition, like all evil corporations trying to have a monopoly on money and immigrant bitches do, so I guess that makes Ginta a Victoria’s Secret Angel in training by default, you know not quite working for the brand directly, but working for the same evil empire, just a little more gutter and second rate…you know they hold the idea of one day doing VS over her head, like pose hotter for these boring catalog shots bitch and we’ll tell the guys at the mothership you’re worth noticing and luckily for her, as far as I’m concerned, all half naked bitches are worth noticing.

I just prefer when SHe’s Showing Her Nipples

Posted in:Ginta Lapina

2013

03

Apr

Stephanie Pratt in her Bikini of the Day

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You want to know what doesn’t matter. Stephanie Pratt. Or her bikini pics. You might as well be jerking off to random girls in bikinis from Facebook, like you probably already do, cuz her low level claim to fame was being a third wrung player in the cult classic pile of shit called The Hills.

Her brother is a guy named Spencer Pratt, you probably barely remember, but that the media loved talking about, because the media is a pile of bullshit, like this Stephanie Pratt bitch is.

But for the die hard closet cases, who always felt Spence would make be your dream girl, if he was a girl, here’s his sister, the closest thing to meeting your weird fucking needs….

I’m only posting it cuz I’ll post anything in a bikini. Fact.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE BIKINI PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Stephanie Pratt

2013

03

Apr

Road Rage to Start the Day of the Day

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This is hilarious. I think this is staged, but the story is that this guy was trying to start a fight, slamming on his breaks, causing an accident, triggering him to go nuts.

They are apparently in the marines, the driver a civilian, and the maniac raging, apparently gets arrested.

I’m just not getting why this guy isn’t breaking windows. Or why the guys who hold him back, look like they are his friends, wearing the same T-Shirt, and hair cut, but maybe that’s just the style when you’re a marine….

It’s pretty funny.

Posted in:Videos

2013

03

Apr

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I spent the better part of my night trying to convince a girl to fuck admit she would fuck a family member, if it was anal and there was no risk of anyone finding out, or more importantly an embarrassing flipper baby.

I am pretty sure by the end of the interrogation, she was into it, or maybe she just thought I was weird and was trying to get rid of me.

Either way, I win.

More of the Lohan Bikini Pics I Can’t Get Enough OF Even if Her Ass is Non-Existent and Possibly Melting
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Some Bitch from Glee Who I Assume is a Double Amputee Diabetic Native American Hermaphrodite To Keep in Line with their Storyline, is Preggers
GO

The Tour Bus You Will Want to See Explode This Summer
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90 Year Old Men Racing
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Kung Fu Road Rage
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Hot Rock Hard Abs
GO

25 Girls You Were Crushing on in 1988
GO

A Redhead You Will Want to FUck
GO

The Netflix of Porn – Awesome!
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Posted in:stepLINKS