DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

04

Jan

Jennifer Lopez Pretending She’s not 100 Fucking Years Old in Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

Jennifer Lopez seems to forget that she’s 100 fucking years as she’s modeling, showing off skin, banging 18 year old gold diggers, hoping that wrist deep in her mom pussy will lead to rolexes, fame and all the other good stuf….because fisting is the only way she still feels….blame the twins….she does have twins right? I don’t fucking know, cuz she fell off back in Selena and I never got her hype, I just figured hispanic really like to endorse and promote their own…It is Friday Night, I’ve been drinking, I don’t know why I am posting this…but guess what…I am.

Posted in:Jennifer Lopez

2013

04

Jan

Kristen Stewart Greasy for V Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

V Magazine really brought out the inner inbred in Kristen Stewart out in this photoshoot, the only thing it is missing is her sucking off her dad for bowling money….because she’s all greasy, cross-eyed and unshowered looking, and there’s something erotic about this, in a watching girls get pissed on kind of way.

Posted in:Kristen Stewart

2013

04

Jan

Stephanie Seymour Amazing Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

As far as I’m concerned…this is the best picture of Stephanie Seymour…it is so representative of her…it almost tells her life story…like I can see her fucking soul…who would have thought the paparazzi would have that kind of artistic vision and integrity you know when their immigrant asses first bought moved to LA and bought a camera because dressing like Elvis outside the Chinese Theater was already taken….I’m talking the worlds least qualified people with a camera…even worse that your mom’s instagram account…yet they captured Stephanie Seymour so perfectly…maybe I am wrong about them and their low level bottom feeding ways…that will be mad and send lawyers after me for posting this even though I am celebrating their work….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Stephanie Seymour

2013

04

Jan

Xenia Deli Sexy in Lingerie for Max of the Day

No Comments »

Xenia Deli may be named after your favorite place to get Jewish meat sandwiches…but the only meat sandwich I want when looking at her is hiding in her panties…panties she’s shwoing off her amazing body in for some magazine photoshoot that excites me…partially cuz I am easily excitable…but mainly cuz she’s fucking amazing to look at….more girls need to be her…stupid names don’t matter when you’re built like this…seriously…her name could be PILE OF SHIT…and I’d still want to jump in….

Posted in:Xenia Deli

2013

04

Jan

Lea Michele’s Scary Bikini Pics of the Day

No Comments »

LEA MICHELE ONLY LOOKS GOOD IN A BIKINI WHEN PIXELATED LIKE SCRAMBLED PORN

In Glee news….The dude who they have starring as the main character who is supposed to be some chick, who isn’t hot, so the freaks who watch the shit can relate to her…is dating the other dude on the show…who I assume is Gay, Black and in a Wheel Chair…because that’s just the kind of casting they do….because dude probably fucked her one boring day on set…and now is trapped…and figures it is good for the show for him to keep the love affair going…even though he’s famous and could be fucking anyone he wants….

Well…they are on vacation together, she is in her bikini and she looks like some planet of the apes shit…and you probably really like that in your trannies….because like the guy on my facebook obsessed with trannies…tranny lovers are pretty accepting of anything with dick and tits…there’s a whole lot of grey area…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Lea Michele

2013

04

Jan

Christina Milian in Bra and Panties for Instagram of the Day

1 Comment »

Wow…Christina Milian….a mom….has taken to Twitter to show off her underwear…because….I guess she really likes this panty set and wants the world to see how great it is…I am sure it has nothing to do with fishing for compliments…or trying to re-package herself as a bit of a sex object…I mean it has to be strictly about her clothing not her body…right? I mean a mom would never leak her own panty pics…that’s for teenage girls yo….but between you and me…I am glad she did.

Posted in:Christina Milian

2013

04

Jan

Rita Ora Bikini in Dubai Continues of the Day

No Comments »

Rita Ora, despite having a major record deal, a decent fan base and being booked as the next Rihanna in the media…is an enemy to man…and not because she’s got a curvy big titty body she likes to celebrate by posting pics…and flashing nipple…..because that’s actually her only redeeming quality….she is an enemy to man because when she was using the Kardashians and a platform to get out there by having sex with Rob Kardashian, the one who masturbates to Kim Kardashian’s Porno…she didn’t blow up the fucking house and rid the world of that evil…

But like I said, her tits can save her and here they are in a bikini in Dubai…making Arab men everywhere hate the Western World even more by giving them boners…since all they are used to is Ninja pussy.

Posted in:Rita Ora

2013

04

Jan

Emanuela de Paula for Next Lingerie of the Day

No Comments »

Emanuela de Paula and what better way to celebrate a horrible winter wherever the fuck you are than by looking at a Brazilian model in her underwear cuz it’s Summer there….

She’s half white, half black, all Brazilian, all amazing….she calls herself a MULATO….which is a bad bad word that people think is racist now…up there with fag…but I guess it’s ok since she calls herself that…and it’s better than calling her a half breed….or Mommy’s jungle fever bi-product – am I right people?

She’s actually done a ton of fucking work, especially for a 23 year old, I’ve just never heard of her, cuz guess what…I don’t track the fashion industry like a fag…or a mulato….oh those words…they burn my tongue when I say them….

All this to say….she’s a babe, even in half naked lingerie Catolog Shots for a company that isn’t Victoria’s Secret….catalog shots aka my favorite kind of photography…it is so creative and artistic….

Posted in:Emanuela de Paula

2013

04

Jan

Hobie From Baywatch’s New Wife in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

If you’re wondering what happened to Hobie from Baywatch, you know because you were so into that show growing up, at least for masturbation purposes that you feel some sort of attachment to the guy, you know cuz while masturbating to the show….you’d get caught up in the storyline and while building up to climax….you’d be forced to hear his antics….making you feel like you know the guy….

Well, he’s been out getting married to a fitness model we can assume he met while working out, or maybe on a dating site for fit people against fat people, a site that if it doesn’t exist I should start, cuz despite being a fat dude, I hate fat chicks so much you’d think I wasn’t…. hater….

They are on the beach…as that is the common thread that is his life….

Posted in:Jeremy Jackson

2013

04

Jan

The Least Compelling Victoria’s Secret Video of the Day

No Comments »

I think this video that was released yesterday as a sneak peak of the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Swim collection is pretty representative of just how little they care about their marketing, cuz they know shit sells itself, and they know the girls they kidnap and lock into a career long marriage, who they own and who they turn into celebrities like some kind of pimp if this was the 1800s and Victoria’s Secret was that the back room is a brothel….

Their caption was captivating…

Lindsay Ellingson, Candice Swanepoel, Barbara Palvin, Lais Ribeiro, Doutzen Kroes, Erin Heatherton and Karlie Kloss tease the Victoria’s Secret’s Swim 2013 collection in this 15-second online-exclusive video.

It’s like motherfuckers don’t even need to work anymore – all they need to say is hot bitches in Bikini – Go Look – Go Buy….

Pretty fucking crazy…but for some reason, a reason I call hot tits, hot bodies, brainwashing – I’m sucked into this 15 second shitty edit the CEO’s kid probably made for his 6th grade media class….but to me it is a masterpiece…

Posted in:Victoria's Secret