DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2012

11

Dec

Lucy Pinder is a Busty Christmas Gift in NUTS of the Day

Lucy Pinder’s tits won’t be under your Christmas Tree….but if you’re looking for gifts you can always check out the VERY MERRY STEPFATHER GIFT GUIDE ….we got tits of our own in there…and awesome gifts…that make endorsing a magazine’s busty model on her comeback tour for some magazine seem counter productive…when our own thing is so much better…I mean shit, Lucy Pinder is alright, her tits huge, dressed and wrapped up like Santa’s wet dream, the reason he comes on his red suite but OUR MODELS ARE BETTER>….and sure I may be saying that cuz they let me grab their tits and ass, or cuz they have sex and masturbate in porn and their own sites, while Lucy Pinder is too cool for me…and what it comes down to is tis the season of goodwill towards men, givivng and spending time with those you love….and there’s enough room in my stalking for all kinds of tits…if you know what I mean….

Posted in:Lucy Pinder

2012

11

Dec

Ariana Grande’s Got a Bra Top For Instagram of the Day

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I don’t really know if this is a bra over a shirt, or a bra built into a shirt, or if it is lingerie being worn as a shirt, I just know that if she was my daughter, I wouldn’t be into this kind of behavior, because taking pics of yourself like this, implies nothing wholesome, and inspires nothing wholesome, and if anything, is some inappropriate. self loving, behavior…but that’s just the times we are living in, camera phones, social media, whore celebrity leaders and icons for our kids to look up to, the sex tape celebrity billionaires, and so on and so forth….lead to self produced, youthful porn, that inspire otherwise decent human beings to masturbate to things that they otherwise never would, leading to teachers banging students, and sex offenders everywhere…it’s a viscous cycle, and this iCarly star, even at 19….looks 13…and that makes this pornography…and amazing…

Posted in:Ariana Grande

2012

11

Dec

Candice Swanepoel Athletic for VSX of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel has a fit fucking body….sure her career depends on it…and she’s living large, making easy fucking money, that is in fact stupid money, because of that career that depends on her body….motivating her 20 days off a month to be spent working on her fitness….cuz it’s the best option for her….cuz she, like anyone else, oulda chose cake and candy and fries….working a desk job….like so many potentially hot girls if they weren’t buried in disgusting….and I think we should thank her for taking the right path…cuz a body like this is a glorious thing to stare at and without it…we have nothing…and there’s no point in living…maybe I’m just being dramatic….the HOLIDAYS GET ME EMOTIONAL …..

Here are the pics….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

11

Dec

Jerry Hall’s Bush in an Upskirt of the Day

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There is something amazing about bush…I figure it is because the bald pussy really got played out over the late 90s and 2000s…making it standard and repetitive for those of us who see and eat pussy…making the random bush you come across, or cum all over exhilerating and exciting….you know something different, something original, something natural and traditional, something that hasn’t been ruined by Kim Kardashian or the cast of Jersey Shore like it was a Brazilian wax…

Unfortunately, old lady Jerry Hall isn’t really helping my case here, because her bush is on an old lady, as most bush should be, thanks to old ladies being from the Bush generation, moms before the whole bald pussy thing really happened, so she’s no ambassador here, she’s just like every over 45 year old who thinks Bald pussy is creepy….but let me tell you, bush on a 25 year old, who is going against the grain to have bush, because they get the importance of decorating a pussy like it was a Chirstmas tree the way nature intended, is fucking awesome…

Either way, here’s a great pantyless, hairy pussy, old lady upskirt….

Posted in:Jerry Hall

2012

11

Dec

Kim Kardashian Lingerie Pics for Factice of the Day

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In some horrible decision making between the creative director, editor in chief and the marketing department over at Factice magazine’s morning meeting….Kim Kardashian’s fat body was shot in lingerie….and unfortunately, not with a fucking elephant gun.

She got half naked, in what would be sexy outfits, if it was on some hot, tight bodied girl, waiting for you to come home from work….or even on your dumpy ass wife who has given you the gift of children and who you are codependent and in love with enough to see past the fact that she’s ravaged her body…from vagina to GUNT to tits…..all for you…and appreciate her putting on something to add some excitement in your otherwise boring as fuck relationship that is comfortable…and that you are used to….but when it is on Kim Kardashian, someone who no one finds hot, who has had her time to shine, and who likely offends 98 percent of the population who know she exits, this has gone too far and has gone on far too long, and should never have happened, and should never happen again…..

These pics remind us that she should retire gracefully, even if you’re a pig who can’t be graceful in anything you do….she’s got all the money in the world, and doesn’t need to be humiliating herself while irritating us, and above all…she’s got a sister she can exploit who is built like an actual model, who we’d all rather see half naked…

Get it together. you prime example of the horrible side effects of positive affirmations….

Here are some pics…they depress me.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2012

11

Dec

Emily Ratajkowski Naked for Lovecat Magazine of the Day

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Emily Ratajkowski is the kind of aspriring model who will pose nude as often as fucking possible, because she’s got a fantastic body, and a great set of fake tits, and is pretty much one small step away from being a stripper….but isn’t seen as a stripper…because her shoots are “artistic” and for fashion….not to mention she has an IMDB page…and has had some small acting roles…and is just doing the LA thing as hard as she can so that she doesn’t have to move back home when she runs out of money with her tail between her legs, forced to work for her dad’s company, instead of being the big superstar she moved to LA to be….you know making all the moves so that she can get noticed, pay the rent, and not have to lower herself to be a waitress like this was Hollywood in the 80s, before everyone who movied their could become a social media celebrity all the studios want to work with cuz they have no idea what new media is…

That said, she’s showing her tits, and I guess that’s all I really should be focusing on, so look at the pics and ignore all my whining words, which is something you’re as accustomed to as this Emily Rata chick is with being nude on camera…you jerk.

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|NSFW

2012

11

Dec

Glamour Models in Pabo La Magie 2013 Calendar of the Day

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Holly Peers, Nicole Neal, Staci Noblett and a bunch of other Glamour Models are showing off their tits, because that’s kinda what they do….

When you have tits like this…and no other real marketable skill because when you first realized you had tits like this…you also realized that you didn’t need waste your time trying to find a career….as good things always come to those built like this…especially when those built like this don’t mind exploiting being built like this…and as someone who isn’t paying them to show off their tits…not even a strip club cover charge…but instead getting the pics for free, on someone elses dime…I can’t really complain….cuz free tit pics, whether high production with professional strippers for a calendar or just a gift emailed to me…are always lovely….

So here is some Pabo La Magie, whatever that is, 1920s Circus inspired calendar, because the only people who use Calendars were likely born and raised in the 1920s, and this reminds their stroked out minds of their youth…

Posted in:Glamour Models|NSFW

2012

11

Dec

On the 7th Day of stepXMAS my Hooker Gave to Me…. of the Day

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SOME AMAZING HENELEY VAPOR CIGARETTES CUZ MY HOOKER DOESN’T LIKE WHEN I SMOKE..SHE’S CONVINCED IT WILL GIVE HER HOOKER VAGINA CANCER WHEN I EAT IT OUT…WHEN REALLY I’M THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE SCARED AND MORE IMPORTANTLY CANCER IS THE LEAST OF HER CONCERNS…

These Henley Vapor Cigarettes are classy, functional, and non-offensive…and look amazing when Modeled by…THE AMAZING AND LOVELY VERONICA VICE

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

TO SEE THE VERY MERRY STEPFATHER GIFT GUIDE….
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:stepXMAS

2012

11

Dec

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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pic via my man J.M. captioned “Taylor Swift’s room” (cuz she’s a slut)

Some nights, my dick is 2 inches/balls deep in a girl and I think to myself…shit, I need to write about this on the site, this is hysterical, disgusting, humiliating, and all around amazing….but then I drink my face off, forget what happened, and I’m left lost and confused…especially this holiday season…just too much fucking egg nog for my diabetes to handle…

Speaking of Holidays…Remember to check out the VERY MERRY HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE …it’s tighter than a hooker on her period…

Here are some links…

Pretty Much the Worst Free Throw Ever. No Really – VIDEO
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Mindy Robinson Will Make You Fall in Love (NSFW)
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Russell Simmons Paid Good Money for This…
FOLLOW THIS LINK

This Modern Samurai Will Blow Your Fucking Mind. Wow. – VIDEO
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Putting the Ass in Christmas….Kinda
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And Now, a Tribute to THONGS! (NSFW)
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Kate Upton is on the Cover of British Vogue
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The 10 Hottest Celebrity Pictures of the Week
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Free Cam Shows, Nuff Said (NSFW)
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Mommy is Masterbating, Uh Ohhh (NSFW)
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Ice-T Has Twitter Meltdown Over CoCo’s Hot Vegas Photos with Rapper
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I’d Love to Be All Over Sherri (NSFW)
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This is How We JEW It… – VIDEO
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:stepLINKS

2012

11

Dec

Russell Simmons’ Escort Hanna Nitsche’s Thong Ass on the Beach of the Day

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I like to laugh at Russell Simmons on twitter…not only because he has an adult lisp, but because he writes insanity about how god is so good to him for making him filthy rich, and other really classy fucking things, that someone who is filthy rich should probably not be putting on blast, cuz there’s something classy about being subtle about your 100s of millions…but I guess he’s from the gutter, and he’s got an adult lisp, so life hasn’t been all that good to him, even if he can hire pussy like this to ride his wallet hard for free trips to the beach and a life of luxury….but unlike most guys…he sucks up to his hooker…with tweets like this….to the picture above…

Maybe they aren’t shooting my fat stomach @ all ? #selfcentered. Like heaven on beach today

Because the adult lisp fucks with his confidence, and rich or not, he feels lucky to have an ass like this give him the time of day, so he sucks up to her, even though he’s paying her, like a pussy, cuz because money doesn’t cure adult lisps that delusional rich dudes are insecure about….at this level of money….it’s all about living in your insane bubble…

I’d be doing the same…except for the being nice to hookers part…I figure if they’re using me…I’m gonna mistreat the fuck out of them…they are hookers after all…and don’t need respect since they don’t even respect themselves…and just want my money….ya know…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Hanna Nitsche