DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2012

05

Nov

Kristen Stewart is Not Hot of the Day

It amazes me that with an inbred face like this….people actually give a fuck about this girl….I mean a face like this is not meant to be famous, glamourous, celebrity….it is meant to be ripping lines of meth in efforts to abort her unwanted baby she can’t identify the baby daddy of…cuz it happened when she was raging….and even when she wears slutty dresses…she can’t win me over…which I assume is every girls’ objective in life….because I’m pretty great.

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Posted in:Kristen Stewart

2012

05

Nov

Rumer Willis is a Monster in a Bikini of the Day

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I’ve always been freaked out by Rumer Willis’ weird face that I blame on bad genetics and a bionic mother who has modified herself to look like a different person…one she wasn’t genetically meant to be….coupled with heavy drug use…..but apparently…I am also freaked out by her ass….

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Posted in:Rumer Willis

2012

05

Nov

Gabriella Toth Naked for fART of the Day

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Gabriella Toth is a nude model who you won’t find much on if you google her…and she is modeling nude in a magazine called fART that I am posting because I like naked girls….especially when they are combined with something called fART cuz I find fART funny…especially when it stands for Fashion & Art….when they probably should re-worked their name into something I little less frat boy….but maybe that’s the “irony” of the whole thing…you see cuz fashion people are obnoxious cunts like that….and Gabriella Toth is hiding her cunt in their magazine…and that is really what matters.

Posted in:Gabriella Toth|NSFW

2012

05

Nov

Miley Cyrus in Borgore Video Featuring Pornstar Jessie Andrews of the Day

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Miley Cyrus is so hot right now…and I don’t even know why…but this horrible music video…or at least dubstep song set to a music video….kinda touches on it…

There’s lots of Titty-being grabbed and smeared with cake…there’s lots of Tongue and lots of fun with a cheap as fuck song that any autistic kid could have produced and written and not cuz autism breeds genius savants but cuz it is retarded lyrics that you don’t need social skills or any real skill to come up with…but that will make this homie a fuck of a lot of money…reminding me that I should be making stepMUSIC….if I ever really want to end my suffering…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2012

05

Nov

UFC’s Brittney Palmer for FHM of the Day

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She’s got a body bro…which makes sense because she’s the “other” ring girl in the UFC…that makes the whole homo-erotic experience a little less homo….cuz you can focus on the bitches between the rounds….instead of the dudes grinding dicks together in submissive holds….all romantic…like the foreplay in a gay porno flick…..

Fit and tight…makes an average looking stripper face…seem lovely enough for me….cuz these UFC girls are ex Vegas strippers Dana White recruited while balling out with Saudi money when launching the UFC to make everyone billions…..right?

Posted in:Brittney Palmer

2012

05

Nov

Candice Swanepoel is Funny of the Day

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So Candice Swanepoel’s handlers at Victoria’s Secret who run her instagram…had a funny typo when posting this picture of her either at her fitting…or as a placeholder or excuse to mention her fitting…

This is what they wrote:

Did my #VSfashionshow fitting today. Amazing how everyone came together after #sandy. #theshowmusthoon @victoriassecret

Since you’re an idiot…I laughed because the # The Show Must Ho On….like bitch knows she’s just a half naked prostitute with a great body making millions without having to fuck her way to the top….but by still exploiting herself…even if we are all fucking hookers…her honesty…was lovely…and just more reason to like her.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

05

Nov

Piper Perabo in Loopers Thanks To Korean Pirates of the Day

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Coyote Ugly girl is showing off some perky lil titties… rockin’ ass….a dozen years later…because skinny, flat chested woman always grow up to be older girls you’d be willing to fuck…even if the date on their birth certificate makes you want to throw the fuck up….cuz skinny girls generally gain their old lady fat in all the right places…while young girls with their fat in all the right places…just end up fat…

This is a bootlegged clip from Loopers that some Korean’s obviously stole…and that I am posting as free advertising for the movie Looper…cuz if there is more of this in it…then it must be worth seeing in the theaters at full price…

Posted in:NSFW|Piper Perabo

2012

05

Nov

Gisele Pregnant Bikini Pics of the Day

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Gisele is pregnant with Tom Brady’s baby…or at least what I assume is Tom Brady’s baby since they are married….but at the same time I learned never to assume shit….because assuming throws out my conspiracy theory that this is movie magic make-up and that she’s just a tranny with a dick…that Tom Brady has his way with on the regular….via her asshole…cuz it reminds him of Football initiation games he grew up with…it’s all about team building…it’s not gay if it builds morale…

Even if she isn’t a dude…pre-op…she’s still a pregnant girl in a bikini which as far as I’m concerned is equally unnatural.

Here she is trying to draw attention to herself during Victoria’s Secret fashion week now that she is not part of that….

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen

2012

05

Nov

Rihanna’s Instagram is Fun of the Day

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Rihanna has a fun instaram…from low quality…almost ghetto promo pics for Barbados…featuring parts of her…like her ass….and titties…along with nonsense captions….to her in a bikini showing off her decent at best body….to her controversial naked in bed with a wedding veil on picture from the day after Halloween….this girl…in all her craziness that was bound to happen…since being a ghetto, poor girl in the islands prior to being the biggest fucking thing ever….fucks a person up….and at least it fucked her up in a half naked way….I mean her life is crazier than a fucking lottery win….and she’s probably torn from all angles trying to make sense of it…especially since she’s all uneducated on top of it…so getting beat up and beating up….to telling us all to fuck ourselves..then producing pics to help us fuck ourselves…make Rihanna pretty fucking special to me….probably the best thing pop culture has to offer…and we should thank her for that via our collective masturbation.

Posted in:Rihanna

2012

05

Nov

Emily Osment in a Bikini for Twitter of the Day

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Haley Joel Osment is an interesting child star because he has become Emily Osment….

You know most child stars, when they are no longer cute or interesting to the public, you know after puberty….turn to drugs and self-destruction to deal with the rejection the world has thrown there way…but this proactive young man…said…you know what…I’m gonna do this girl thing cuz life is way easier for girls..girls don’t even have to be hot or pretty…they just have to be willing to get half naked…

So here he is promoting himself in a bikini for his instagram….unless this is actually his “sister” and not just a front…but how would you explain them never being in the same room, at the same event, or in the same picture….

Exactly.

Posted in:Emily Osment