DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2012

30

Jul

Gisele s Hot in Her Bikini of the Day

This is not a picture of Gisele in her bikini, but the paparazzi are nuts and have gone very aggressive on me – law suits are around the corner so I just rather link you to the goods – cuz I know you’re only here for the captions – you don’t care about the pics – that’s why I have less than 1000 followers on social media – i got this strong hold on the public like some kind of celebrity who could fill a public bathroom with my fanbase that probably don’t even know who I am or why they liked my page on Facebook – but the truth is – it’d be the best public bathroom dance party of all time – cuz baby it isn’t quantity it is quality and I got some low grade motherfuckers up in here.

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Posted in:Gisele|Gisele Bundchen

2012

30

Jul

Kate Upton in GQ Italia of the Day

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Kate Upton may depress me with being overrated and the fact that the future brings obesity – making her nothing more than a fat chick in training – but then I remember – by the time that happens, I’ll probably be dead, and fat chick tits before they become fat chicks, even if they are sloppy, are still fun to play with and look at….I mean and more importantly, the world is into her, the collective penis of the world has decided she’s ok and thinking anything but that makes you a cock sucking, man ass loving faggot….. but I don’t really care about what the general population thinks,cuz I know that fat or not I’d still fuck her…because I’ve fucked way worse and will continue to…I just recognize flaws….and fixate on them and there’s nothing wrong with pointing out what is wrong with that….

Posted in:Kate Upton

2012

30

Jul

Cheryl Burke and Kelly Monaco on the Beach of the Day

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I don’t really know who Cheryl Burke and Kelly Monaco are…I just know they have something to do with Dancing with the Stars…but more importantly…they are rocking out at Malibu beach house I haven’t been invited to because no one likes me – I like to think it is because they fear I will drink all their liquor, lick all their women, snort all their cocaine, and they are probably right, but they are in Malibu, rich and can afford me, and that’s why they should re-work that strategy….I mean sure I’m no Cheryl Burke or Kelly Monaco…writing that just depressed me….I must stop this post now….and burry myself in being irrelevant…because I don’t even know who they are.

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Posted in:Cheryl Burke|Kelly Monaco

2012

30

Jul

Stella Hudgens is Flagged Inapropriate on Instagram of the Day

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Stella Hudgens is already starting with the teenage self-shot half naked pics and I am gonna endorse it, not because I am a pervert, but because this is deemed appropriate by Instagram terms and conditions, while I get deleted cuz I called Jenna Jameson’s twins “Porn Babies”…cuz guess what they are….and i told Danny Masterson (who?) to not get his period in his white pants… or maybe it was cuz I was talking about rape, homeless people people drug addicts, and mocking people with very passionate fans…but whatever it was it was considered wrong, bad, offensive….and this is considered good…making Instagram a place for me….becasue I am a pervert…..So perverted that I was checking out a hot 15 year old in a skimpy bikini yesterday, it was leopard print…don’t blame me – blame the hormones in the food.

Posted in:Stella Hudgens

2012

30

Jul

Candice Swanepoel Hot in Muse Summer 2012 of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel is pretty fucking substantial….as much as I try to make fun of her being HIV positive, despite being white South African, and thus rich South African and not HIV positive South African, even though she was exported from South Africa like a blood diamond she is, all valuable and cut….I just always fail….because she always wins….and makes me a weak man….I am just mesmorized by her everything….photography tricks or not….

If the Muse pics bore you – I don’t see how they can – but You Know All Fashion High Fashion and thus homo – here’s a video of her on the beach – I love her.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2012

30

Jul

Jojo is Pretty Intense in this Smutty Self Shot Pic of the Day

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I’ve mocked JoJo for being some kind of fat chick with Jungle fever, who threw her pop career away to get fat for her black boyfriend, but I guess the money ran out, or she figured she had another hit in her, not that she ever had a hit, I just assume she did, because why else would people care about her, especially during her fat years, where she was mistaken for being some jailbai people wanted to fuck, something that I didn’t understand….but look at her now…hot and taking self pics….I may have to support her movement….at least I will if things stay like this…

Posted in:JoJo

2012

30

Jul

Emma Watson Has a Tight Shirt on of the Day

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I am not interested in Emma Watson, so I was debating not to bother posting this pic she posted of herself in a tight shirt, but then I remembered that her fan base, is probably the kind of virgin loser who visits this site, bu more importantly, probably the kind of virgin loser who cums himself when seeing pics of a girl in a tight shirt…especially when that girl is his dream girl he pretends he is married to every night before bed.

Posted in:Emma Watson

2012

30

Jul

Miley Cyrus Hard Nipple for Twitter of the Day

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Miley Cyrus is pretty good at social networking…and all the more interesting as far as I’m concerned now that she’s engaged, because you see all young girls who get engaged, do it because they still believe love actually exists, and those who believe in love, especially while rocking a ring on their finger, usually believe in ass play….making these hard nip pics all the more interesting….

Things get experimental when fame forces you to be a reclusive.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2012

30

Jul

Mila Kunis For GQ Russia of of the Day

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I just woke up – it is 7 pm – this weekend was a fucking wreck – I am still alive – I am just not entirely sure if I am happy to be alivee….

I don’t really care about these photoshopped Mila Kunis pics that are probably old….because she fucks Ashton Kutcher, she’s 30 and her short legs need heels. She’s overrated.

More importanlty, I am pretty sure she’s pregnant with Ashton Kutcher’s baby.

It would only make sense…you know it would explain her thickness that you can see if you click the below link….

I am not asshole…but she is probably pregnant with one.

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Posted in:Mila Kunis

2012

30

Jul

Morning Hangover Dump That is Actually an Afternoon Hangover Dump of the Day

1 Comment »

Marie-Eve Martinez here.

I got a text from Jesus saying he would be home soon, which for normal people who grew up with normal lives and normal parents usually means something as simple as they are on their way home from work or picking up a gallon of milk, or saying they were on their way from work while actually out having an affair with you uncle/aunt.

But when you grew up like me, with the people I did, and you haven’t seen your step father since he stumbled out of the house drunk on Friday afternoon, who knows what has happened, how it’s gone down or when he will return.

So make a wish hoping he comes home safe and sound every time you click one of these links. He needs all the help he can get.

Love, Marie-Eve

Set in Cement Forever….Whoops – VIDEO
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20 Hot Athletes You’ll Know After the Olympics
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WTF Photo of the Day
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LOL Compilation of the Day
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Kristen Stewart is Pretty So This Whole Thinbg is Her Fault
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Gallery: 11 iPhone Prototypes That Didn’t Make the Cut
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Well Hey There Free Cam Shows (NSFW)
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Drunk Girls Get Dirty on the Train (NSFW)
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Citizen Brings Gun to Knife Fight, Bags Grocery Store Slasher
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Hot Model Helps Us Start Thinsg Off (SITE NSFW)
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