DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2012

04

Jun

Miley Cyrus Assin Your Face of the Day

If you look close enough, you can see her maxi pad. Not that any girls weear Maxi Pads…they are either into tampons or menstrual cups…all hippie and disgusting…using their periods to fertilize their organic gardens…in some hairy pussy and not in a good way….kind of way….

But I am old, and memories of seeing girls in tight pants wearing maxi pads….are almost erotic to me…not cuz I like periods for sex even if it is constant lubrication…and really only like periods for the “We’re not pregnant”….but because girls were less slutty and I was leess desesnsitized….capabale of getting off to hard nipples and a little camel toe…but now I can’t get off to anything. The internet has ruined the simple pleasures…

Simple pleasures Miley Cyrus is bringing back…young tight body…in little tight shorts….can save me….

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Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2012

04

Jun

Kim Kardashian and Family Slaugher a Notorious B.I.G. Song in Bikinis of the Day

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Have you ever gone to a wedding for the open bar…or really any event for that matter for the open bar…and the motherfuckers think it is a good idea to play some shit quality self produced video they find so funny because they made it…and thus assume everyone will love it because they love it….even though it just pisses everyone off cuz all we really care about is the open bar…the reason we agreed to go to the shit event in the first place…

Well the self involved Kardashian family have decided to do a fun little bikini clad video in the Domincan Republic for all their fans….a video that is offensive to anyone who likes Biggy…and annoying to anyone who likes watching quality original videos and not shitty viral video template options….

Sure Kim Kardashian pops her booty in this shit….but Kim Kardashian is 30 …sloppy….and fucks black dudes…..which to me means she doesn’t fucking exist…

This is the worst…we should murder them in a modern day snuff film like we were that pussy Luka Magnotta, for putting this smut out there….except the young teen sisters…their bodies are good no matter how evil their parents and family are…we need to keep them around…if anything we need to save them from these monsters.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2012

04

Jun

Fat Mila Kunis Gets Heckled of the Day

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Unfortunately…I saw the first 5 minutes of the MTV Movie Awards…that were as interesting as an hour long commercial for every movie made last year targeted at 16 year olds could be. Russell Brand wasn’t funny….if anything he was annoying and people in the audience…even the people paid to be in the audience didn’t even laugh as his miserable jokes…

The highlight of the first 5 minutes of the MTV Movie awards….were when Mila Kunis walked out, someone yelled at her, probably that she looks fucking fat as shit, all bloated as fuck….only to have Marky Mark and the funky bunch, who thinks he is a tough guy cuz he trains for shitty movies where he plays a boxer….to step up and threaten him….in what was not even dramatic enough to be interesting, unless you are like me, and wish you had he opportunity to heckle Mila Kunis…ideally with my genitals and her mouth…cuz fat or not…I’d still celebrate National Donut Day, 3 days late, only clit.

Posted in:Mila Kunis

2012

04

Jun

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I am pretty bummed that the “Bath Salts” drug that turns you into a zombie is not actually bath salts….so here I am smoking this over the counter bath salt shit my wife got for her birthday….and I’m not turning into a fucking zombie…not that I want to be a zombie….but I have to be a zombie to go down on the bitch….cuz her vagina smells like death….and looks like death too…but I try not to dig that deep into her obesity to deal with that shit….

Here’s some morning links..

Call Me Crazy But I Don’t Think a Spray Tan is Supposed to Be Blue – VIDEO
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Lauren Tannehill Star Rising with Reported Maxim Photo Shoot
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Free Cam Shows, Oh Happy Day
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Two Headed Turtle, WTF – VIDEO
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Charlie Sheen Is Totally On The Bad Shit Again
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Mila Kunis Didn’t Lose That Weight Yet
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19 Year Old Hottie Makes a Video for Her Boyrfriend
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30 Must-See Pictures of Charlize Theron
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2012

04

Jun

Selena Gomez Bikini Pic for Twitter of the Day

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Selena Gomez posted some pics of her body that makes me feel like a sex offender even though she’s 20….and has sex with Justin Bieber….increasing her chances of being HIV positive you know since it is the Gay disease….and girls for years have been banging closet cases getting the shit….

That said, bikini pics are the main reason facebook and twitter work….and not just bikini pics of young starlets…I’m talking bikini pics of everyday girls we know – work with go to school with….this is shit we never had access to before social networking…but is shit girls love producing now that we have social networking…cuz they are all a gang of whores – thank god.

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2012

04

Jun

Sarah Stephens for Agent Provocateur of the Day

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Sarah Stephens is a 21 year old model from Australia, who walked the Victoria’s Secret fashion show when she was 18, and I think she’s spectacular…especially now that she’s modeling real lingerie, you know some rock and roll throwback shit for Agent Provocateur that you’d expect to see on a stripper in 1920s, you know with a bit of fucking attitude, unlike your mom’s underwear over at Victoria’s Secret, all boring, photoshopped, and appealing to Christians.

Here are the pics….if you look close enough you will see bush…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:NSFW|Sarah Stephens

2012

04

Jun

Gretchen Rossi in Her Bikini a Tao in Vegas of the Day

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Gretchen Rossi is some useless weathered cunt from some Desperate Real Housewives shit that I refuse to watch because I think it was sent to us from the devil…

You see I hate women like that…I see them all the time….and they consistently disgust me….not cuz they are rich or married to rich guys…but because they are tacky fake tan trashy rich women who look like gutter fucking strippers…when I like my High Society to be sophisticated, classy, like fucking the Royal Family..

I like to get my gutter trash for 10 dollars a song, 60 dollars a blowjob and 100 dollars to fuck….not from snobby,bullshit, society pussy that thinks it is hotter than it is and more important than it is….that doesn’t work and just spends their husbands money. The worst kind of hooker.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Gretchen Rossi

2012

04

Jun

Sam Faiers Flashes her Tits of the Day

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The TOWIE is some bullshit show from the UK that is officially called The Only Way is Essex…..and since I am not from the UK…I just have their queen on my money..in theory….but unfortunately for me…I don’t have money….so I really have no ties with the motherfuckers…but I do have ties with all bottom feeding attention seeking trash who pull their tits out of their shirts or bikinis to get a little attention…so here is one of the cows from that show – udders out.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:NSFW|Sam Faiers

2012

04

Jun

Mel B’s Ridiculous Post Baby Body of the Day

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Scary Spice has got herself a pretty scary fucking post pregnancy body….but in her defence….at least she’s not fucking fat…I mean sure she looks a bit like a dude…but she’s got some jacked up fake titties….and shit kinda balances out her insanely broad shoulders…all muscular in a post baby…..with her third baby daddy…cuz one dad for all her kids is not black enough…or something….

Here is the video….

Here are some pics she posted of her cleavage on a private jet…

Posted in:Mel B|Melanie Brown|Scary Spice

2012

04

Jun

Lindsay Lohan’s Elizabeth Taylor Preview Pic of the Day

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This is a picture TMZ posted of Lohan as Liz Taylor for some made for TV, Hallmark Channel, bullshit movie no one will see, but that everyone is making a big deal about, cuz Lohan can’ act and more importantly cuz Liz Taylor is dead….but I don’t think this is some high budget shit…I’ve seen biopics of random people staring way worse than Lohan….who gives a fuck.

The only funny thing in all this is that Lohan is in Canada, but more importantly that’s she’s researching the breakout role hard…and here is the proof Lohan has been doing all the research she can for the role….you know by reading Liz Taylor’s twitter feed she likely didn’t even write….

That said, Lohan is amazing…

TO SEE SOME PICS OF LOHAN ON SET AS LIZ TAYLOR LOOKING HORRIBLE IN A BATHING SUIT
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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan