DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2012

04

Apr

Rihanna Half Naked in Elle of the Day

Rihanna is in Elle and she ran off her mouth about some bullshit that I didn’t bother reading becausee Rihanna is some uneducated prostitute and anything that she comes up with is probably words designed by another motherfucker on her payroll….I have the inside scoop on the bitch from a friend who lives in Barbados…he told me that the Chris Brown beating was likely her hitting herself in the face to report him to the authorities to get him in trouble and ruin him cuz her crazy thought he was cheating on her….or some shit….he told me Bajan women are evil if you get on their wrong side….and they will fucking drag you through the mud…and piss on your face if needed….something I could see myself being into cuz I have no self respect and when Rihanna looks like this…amazing….I’d pretty much let her do whatver she wanted to me…including ripping off my penis in some tribal fucking ritual…shit would go viral andd I don’t need it, it’s pathetic and embarassing anyway, at least now I’d have an excuse….am I right people?!

So here she is in Elle, half naked, looking good, reminding us she’s crazy, but can take a good beating and get over it, unlike all your “i was molest by my dad”…or “my boyfriend is abusive” fat chicks who can’t fucking let go….get over it.

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Posted in:Rihanna

2012

04

Apr

Clara Alonso is Some Model Pussy in Elle Vietnam of the Day

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Clara Alonso is a Spanish model….she’s 25…..and she’s in Elle Vietnam, a country that I have been to and appreciate….thanks to the food but more importantly the many prosititutes who I got to hang out with in the “lady bars”….who would wash their twats for me before letting me fuck them all I wanted for pretty much 10 dollars. I didn’t bother with the 10 year old hookers, or the boys dressed like girls…but there is something for everyone there…making you wonder why we bombed them in the first place….

Either way, Clara is fucking hot, and I like hot bitches with modeling contracts that validate their hotness and get them paid for their hotness, that stamp of approval, like a bad artless tattoo on a stripper, to remind you of what caliber woman you are dealing with….

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Posted in:Clara Alonso

2012

04

Apr

Maria Menounos’ Big Old Ass Has a Cameltoe of the Day

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I wonder if Maria Menounos’ pants jacked up her ass count as a cameltoe, you know, cuz she’s greek, and her asshole is her main vagina?

Yes this is what I do with my time….I contemplate such life changing, important, observations….I am a modern day Leonardo Divinci or some philosopher or some shit….

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Posted in:Maria Menounos

2012

04

Apr

Scarlett Johansson’s Big Titties Bounce in New Avenger’s Clip of the Day

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Marvel dropped a video for their socially awkward, obsessive compulsive, nerd fan base of all ages, of Scarlett Johansson in a scene from The Avengers, giving a sneak peak at her titty jiggle, something that isn’t a big deal to real men, who get laid, and who watch porn, and who don’t need the human rendition of a comic bitch they’ve been jerking off to since they were 12 to get off…..but a sneak peak at her titty jiggle that has enough of an impact for some virgin, loser, sci/fic, comic collecting, socially awkward freaks to either cum himself, or have his fucking head explode…

I’d say I was posting it for those Comicon freaks, but it dropped earlier today, they’ve already seen it, that’s part of the whole subculture, chubby Scarlett Johansson’s trying to tap into with her cellulite.

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Posted in:Scarlett Johansson

2012

04

Apr

Babes and Milk and Donuts is the Best Car Ad Ever of the Day

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My homeboy Mark, over at COPYRANTER sent me this video….

It is some Scion ad that dropped well over a month ago, but that no one sw, because I guess Scion wasn’t clever enough to email me and offer me 10,000 dollars to post the shit, so instead I’m gonna post it for them for free, because sometimes, commercials are exactly what I want to see, you know daring enough to probably never end up on TV, but to give me some sort of hope that ad agencies are still creative, interesting and not too scared of their Christian guidlines, making them willing to get sluts half naked in a car with donuts and milk while the car does donuts…

Genius. Now I need to go out and get me a fucking Scion.

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Posted in:stepADS

2012

04

Apr

Babes and Donuts is the Best Car Ad Ever of the Day

1 Comment »

My homeboy Mark, over at COPYRANTER sent me this video….

It is some Scion ad that dropped well over a month ago, but that no one sw, because I guess Scion wasn’t clever enough to email me and offer me 10,000 dollars to post the shit, so instead I’m gonna post it for them for free, because sometimes, commercials are exactly what I want to see, you know daring enough to probably never end up on TV, but to give me some sort of hope that ad agencies are still creative, interesting and not too scared of their Christian guidlines, making them willing to get sluts half naked in a car with donuts and milk while the car does donuts…

Genius. Now I need to go out and get me a fucking Scion.

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Posted in:stepADS

2012

04

Apr

Lauren Stoner’s Hot Ass in a Bikini of the Day

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Lauren Stoner is some HOT ASS from Miami who has done pretty much nothing but real low level Miami based acting jobs….leading to her very own IMDB page….even though her most substantial contribution to the world was FLASHING HER FUCKING TITS WHILE TANNING ……because she’s got an amazing fucking body, and famous or not, that’s all that fucking matters in a bitch….who cares what shows she’s been on, or if she’s got money or a career, all I care about is staring at her, and knowing her desperation to become famous, you know desperate enough to become friends with the paparazzi….and getting half naked as much as possible for them to put her pics on blast, cuz blogs will write about a bitch under those circumstances….desperation is always hot….even when it is for oxygen…..

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Posted in:Lauren Stoner

2012

04

Apr

Keira Knightley in Interview Magazine of the Day

1 Comment »

If you are wondering why I’m posting these Keira Knightley pics that are not nude in a movie , not in a bikini, not showing a little pussy lip in some weird unauthorized fan comic ….not STRADDLING A MOTOR BIKE ….I don’t have the fucking answer.

I’m thinking it was the leather spread legs pic that got me, or maybe that I thought she was Kate Beckinsale and was ready to talk to the virgin losers in our group about how hot her mom body is….hot enough to not make any fucking sense….that’s how hot…

But instead….it’s the Pirates skinny chick no one cares about….

I say oops, but you should know by now just how bad I am at this blogging shit.

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Posted in:Keira Knightley

2012

04

Apr

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Daughter in a Bikini of the Day

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I saw these pictures yesterday and figured I didn’t need to rush them to the fucking site because Schwarznegger’s daughter in a white bikini is only interesting because of the emotional trauma this cunt has gone through the last few years, with her parent’s divorce, her dad’s cheating, disgracing the family, and making her hate men, a great recipe for damaged spoiled twats, eager to fuck, with no real value on relationships, because she expects them all to fail, I mean just look at what happened to the pure love her parents had…..leading to lots of cock in pussy to fill that void…poor little rich girl…come sit on my fucking lap.

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Posted in:Katherine Schwarzenegger

2012

04

Apr

Cinthia Fernandez Naked in Hombre Argentina April 2012 of the DAy

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Her name is Cinthia Fernandez, she’s in Hombre Argentia, some magazine that I guess is the equivalent of Maxim and other low grade shit, and she’s wearing a thong…showing off her spic ass….relatively uneventful, uninteresting, and maybe even a little too muscular, leading one to think she may have been born with a penis and early on in her career, she was a hired lady boy to German tourists, but I’m posting it anyway, you know to switch it up, and tap into international markets, I’m clever like that….I figure there’s at least 10,000,000 other Cinthia Fernandez’s in the world googling themselves and hopefully ending up here…making me rich cuz I need a private jet to impress some cunt on Facebook….you know I like the important things in life.

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Posted in:Cinthia Fernandez