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Sierra Ferrell Brings the Weirdo Nudes of the Day

Sahara Ray Sucks Dick of the Day

Demi Moore’s Dinosaur Tits of the Day

X-Tina Aguilera’s Porn Tits of the Day

Julianne Hough’s White Bikini of the Day

2011

Sep

Gabi Rebeschini in a Bikini on the Beach of the Day

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Here’s some model Gabi Rebeschini who I have never heard of or posted on….

She’s slutting out in her bikini with some dude ..maybe because the sun heightens half nakedness, feelings of love or lust and most importanlty makes a pussy tingle…and when a pussy tingles it needs to get filled…especually when the paparazzi are there to make the bitch feel like she’s actually famous or important…you know a perfect opportunity to get sexual to give us something to talk about…hoping it’ll take her Brazilian modeling into Victoria’s Secret…and she won me over by being in a bikini…

I’m that easy…and apparently so is she.

Posted in:Gabi Rebeschini

2011

Sep

Lindsay Lohan’s Amazing Hard Nipples of the Day

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Lindsay Lohan may be boring….She may be on the verge of death…she may be getting Billy Joel lyrics about being at her prime…cuz she knows that in a couple weeks she’ll be far less prime comparitively as they’re cremating her…long after her career’s been left in the basement to rot….

I have met Lohan, I hung out with her in her hotel once, she played me her album, she danced around the room in heels and pajama pants, she cried, she laughed, she was like a fucking roller coaster of amazing….

I drank her booze, I stayed til 6 am, I hugged her goodbye, we talked about her problems, I encouraged her to marry me….and there’s one thing I know about her first hand and that is that she has the single fucking best tits around…and what better way to celebrate any day than by staring at them….

Dead to me and the rest of the world or not, I will always have a soft spot in my heart and a hard spot in my pants for this amazing creature we call lohan…she is a genius and I’m convinced one day she will get that academy award she deserves…

Now if only she answered my emails, texts, phone calls, and twitter messages…but she hates me. Oh well.

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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2011

Sep

Carmen Electra’s Tits for Labor Day of the Day

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I may be repetitive, but so is Carmen Electra’s…it’s getting as old as her….

So here she is hosting a Labor Day party with her cleavage in a tight dress….and it’s safe to say it is because all the real celebs were busy…and the time and a half stuatory holiday pay wasn’t enough for them to take time away from their long weekend…forcing promoters to book the low level trash, we call them the second string, to come in and take their place…..I mean you see this in all businesses open on Labor Day….it’s always the new girl, the half retarded girl, the person with a gambling problem who doesn’t take the day off because they need the work, they want to prove themselves, they have nothing better to do cuz they are the second string in all aspects of life….but at least she’s showing off body…

Posted in:Carmen Electra

2011

Sep

Coco Stupid Tits for Labor Day of the Day

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I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again….

Here is Coco hosting a Labor Day party with her cleavage in a tight dress….and it’s safe to say it is because all the real celebs were busy…and the time and a half stuatory holiday pay wasn’t enough for them to take time away from their long weekend…forcing promoters to book the low level trash, we call them the second string, to come in and take their place…..I mean you see this in all businesses open on Labor Day….it’s always the new girl, the half retarded girl, the person with a gambling problem who doesn’t take the day off because they need the work, they want to prove themselves, they have nothing better to do cuz they are the second string in all aspects of life….but at least she’s showing off body…

I don’t understand how she doesn’t have nipples….and it is freaking me out…that kind of pushed up cleavage needs a little nipple edge to make biological sense…

Posted in:Coco

2011

Sep

Nicole Scherzinger’s Tits for Labor Day of the DAy

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Here is Nicole Scherzinger hosting a Labor Day party with her cleavage in a tight dress….and it’s safe to say it is because all the real celebs were busy…and the time and a half stuatory holiday pay wasn’t enough for them to take time away from their long weekend…forcing promoters to book the low level trash, we call them the second string, to come in and take their place…..I mean you see this in all businesses open on Labor Day….it’s always the new girl, the half retarded girl, the person with a gambling problem who doesn’t take the day off because they need the work, they want to prove themselves, they have nothing better to do cuz they are the second string in all aspects of life….but at least she’s showing off body…

Posted in:Nicole Scherzinger

2011

Sep

Scarlett Johansson’s Tight Avenger Outfit of the Day

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Here’s some dumpy shit that’s marketed as being hot for all the virgin losers who love all things comic book and the women in costumes who are bringing their fantasies they’ve jerked off to since they were teenage boys, unable to process how weird jerking off to a drawing is…..

Her name is Scarlett Johansson and she’s taken her half assed, raspy voice, shitty acting and gut and put them into some spanx and spandex to re-invent her sloppy self…and you’re going to masturbate to her….again….maybe cuz she reminds you of a 40 year old mom….who should be wearing an oversized sweatsuit to her pilates class…and that feels like home…but I’m pretty sure it’s just marketing…cuz this bitch is overrated and more importantly overfed. Get her away from the craft services table motherfucker, you have a movie to make….

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Posted in:Scarlett Johansson

2011

Sep

Ellen Page Shitty Lesbian Kiss of the Day

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Someone sent me this picture that is supposed to be of Ellen Page kissing one of her friends…and I have no idea how dude could decipher than this was the lesbian who played Juno or why he really cared, because when I watched the movie, I knew she wasn’t actually knocked up by Michael Cera, that’s dudes a fucking virgin, and even as a celebrity with all his fame for being the awkward dude, is still a virgin, I’m convinced….you know making me think she went to the sperm donor clinic, or bought some bootleg sperm off the internet to syringe her fucking self….like lesbians do…so seeing her kissing a friend in what could be a cry for attention, hasn’t got shit on the lesbian asshole licking and strap on sex she has with other bitches she meets at her knitting /organic garden club….which reminds me….that all lesbians hate me.

Posted in:Ellen Page

2011

Sep

Mourning Hangover Dump of the Day

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It’s the long weekend…but luckily for you I have nothing better to do with my time than sit on my shitty computer with a broken “T” button on the keyboard and post pics of irrelevant people who for some reason people find relevant, cuz rain or shine, drunk or high, sleep deprived or well rested, I update this bullshit…and I have no idea why…here are some things going on around the other sites, while I brush myself off, sober myself up, touch my penis to ensure it still works, and cry cuz it’s okay to have a good cry a few times a day…especially when you’re a loser like us….

Under the Table Flirt Starts Things Off
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Jessica Barton Has One Great Rack
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The Steamiest MMA Hottie Videos on the Planet
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Free Cam Shows to Start Your Week Off Right
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Gallery: What Will PETA’s “Porn” Site Look Like?
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Some Super Sexy Cheerleaders
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If This Shit is True, The Kardashians Really Are Fucking Shameless
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Cute Brunette Gets Herself Off in Public
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Live Cam Shows That Will Make Your Monday a Little Bit Better
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Posted in:MHD

2011

Sep

Elisha Cuthbert Not Dead of the Day

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Woah…Elsha Cuthbert pics are making the internet rounds…and I forgot this bitch exists…mainly cuz I don’t watch TV…or keep track of cunts like Elisha Cuthbet…I mean I’ve only done a handful of posts on her 3 years ago….cuz she was in a bikini with hard nipples and a bikini showing some ass back in 2008….and hiding behind a camera in a bikini with sheer pants on back in 2007…..

I know people who know Elisha Cuthbert because she is from Montreal…which happens to be where I live and there are only a dozen english people so everyone knows everyone….Apparently, she always had an ego, always thought she was important, because at a young age she was cast on some shitty TV show and the second you put a bitch on TV it’s all fucking over, their egos inflate, they move to LA and get cast in movies…only to come back with their hockey boyfriends and happen to be in the same bar as me one night…unwilling to respond to my requests to grab her breast….That’s why I tried to organize a candle light vigil for her career at her parent’s house, cuz her sister was living here, but no one was into my genius concept…instead they all wanted to jerk off to her cuz she was on 24 or Girl Next Door or some shit….

Either way, I hear she’s back on TV, and here are her tits in some photoshopped photoshoot that erased all her hard living and the fact that she’s pretty much 30 and boring….but she’s got tits…and I guess that counts for something…and that something doesn’t matter…this bitch needs to get substantially more naked, more scandalous, cuz that’s what I think her career and your masturbation habits really need…not that I like giving you my advice on your masturbation…it’s kinda gay…but I do prefer when the pics I post aren’t this well dressed and put together and more raw and gaping…Goodtimes…

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert

2011

Sep

Labor Day Birthing Videos to Celebrate Labor Day of the Day

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It is a long standing tradition here at drunkenstepfather.com – that we celebrate labor day with the first 5 birthing videos we find – because lets face it – vagina being shredded apart with baby close up videos are the best way to celebrate the long weekend…I mean other than getting drunk and fucking college co-eds who are new to your city and in need of a tour….of your dick….but don’t get too close…cuz some girls lie about being into abortions and you may end up being the asshole cloth holder in one of these videos…trapped for life….

So here’s to new life to celebrate the end of summer and not being alloed to wear white…

Bi-Racial Home Birth….