I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2011

08

Jul

Kellie Pickler Inbred Bikini Picture of the Day

I remember watching Kellie Pickler on American Idol, back when I had a TV and before Ryan Seacrest encouraged her to get these small implants to better her career….before fame and fortune by her hick inbred standards hit…when she was just some backwoods hick crying about her grandfather who it was apparent she was having sex with…at least as far as I was concerned….maybe it was cuz he was toothless, or maybe it was because he was also her brother, father and conveniently the only man in their backwoods town…and there’s just something about hicks…maybe it is their lack of education…their lack of dental hygiene, or really hygiene as a whole, maybe it’s their good country values, or maybe it is that they start fucking at a young age when no wrestling lawn furniture that really talks to me…and unfortunately, here’s this inbred hick gone hollywood…back home they don’t even have bikinis, just old burlap potato sacks until you get lucky enough to bust out great gandmaw’s roadkill bikini woven with 4 months of roadkill suppers….who cares….this tight body makes inbreeding seem right….iI mean if you’ve fucked a family memeber, the orgasms probably already sold you…but this is for the non-inbreeders….which I assume there is at least one of you out there…it also makes growing up on a diet of rationed poor man’s squirrel stew seem like something they need to bring to the obese mainstream…

Here’s her audition video from American Idol….Drunken Paula is the highlight

Here’s she doing some smarter than a third grader – and guess what she’s not smarter than a third grader….

Posted in:Kellie Pickler

2011

08

Jul

Aurdina Patridge in a One Piece for a Failing Magazine of the Day

I don’t have access to the accounting documents or year end reports over at FHM, but I think it is safe to say that no one buys their magazines anymore, and their slow and useless attempt to go online, just never really gave them the glory they once had, since everyone any their younger brother can produce drivel content about nothing and post it next to pics of bitches in their bikinis….I mean this video had 4,000 views when I pulled it and it’s been up for 5 days…and features a once famous bitch hardnippled…that’s fucking embarrassing perforamnce…useless FHM shoulda kept advertising on DrunkenStepfather.com…

See, the only thing these Maxim and FHM sites ever had going for them was the access to celebrity bitches they had….They consistently had hot bikini photoshoots with relevant people….but I guess as budgets dropped so did their talent pool…cuz seeing Audrina Patridge, a virtual nobody, who had her 15 minutes, that unfortunately lasted 2 years try up a year ago…by now she should be doing porn not magazine covers…I mean shit, I bet I could get Audrina to do a shoot for DrunkenStepfather.com….and I would only pay her in cum shots….if you know what I mean…

That said, here’s the photoshoot, you’ll unfortunately like it, taking her one step backwards from the porn career she should already be milking like a cock.

So much fucking bottom feeding everywhere I look…it’s coming at me from all fucking angles…

Posted in:Audrina Patridge

2011

08

Jul

Kate Middleton Feeds my Cowgirl Fetish of the Day

Here’s Kate Middleton ….dressed like a cowboy in canada for stampede bullshit…

If you’re like me, then you’ve always had the fantasy of having your car breakdown while driving through a farm community, forcing you to go to the nearest farmer and ask for a bed to sleep in because it isn’t 2011 and we don’t have tow trucks, cell phones or any other necessities needed to get off the road when we break down….. where he decides to offer you a warm meal and his hot hick daughter ravages you while you sleep in the barn with the sheep…only to get caught as you’re coming but the gun toting dad who is mad cuz he wants her pussy all to his hick inbred self….

We’ve all seen that scene in the movies and the pornos….unrealistic….but still hot….and now Kate Middleton is feeding it….all inbred with her inbred husband….dressed like a cowgirl ready to rodeo on your dick…until Prince William catches you and comes at you with his redheaded erection and military trained marksman rifle pointed at your head before he taps into his homosexual cuz he is british roots… and rapes you….cuz that’s really what happens when the farmer catches the guy with his daughter or wife…they just don’t tell you that part in the movies…ruining this fantasy all together….but I’m posting the pics anyway…

Sidenote….she’s not even that hot….maybe it’s the cowboy hat…but I think it is her shitty looking face. TEAM PIPPA.

Posted in:Kate Middleton

2011

08

Jul

Taylor Momsen Lingerie Concert Pics of the Day

As repetitive and annoying and phony as this cry for attention may be, Taylor Momsen is still a soon to be 18 year old girl, already whoring herself out for her personal gain, and it’d be pretty homosexual of me not to embrace it, love it and endorse it, cuz daddy issues are one of my favorite things, not that this is daddy issues, but instead just a serious need to get noticed, by getting naked, sexualizing herself and all at such a young age….is kinda inspiring…and never boring….if you know what I mean…which you do…

My only concern is what happens when she turns 18 and no one cares anymore. Will she be like the underage stripper with fake ID I once got a lap dance from unknowingly, who is now a major pornstar, who prospered in her youthful sluttiness thanks to an early start…or will she get fat and fade away like so many molested by her dad, sexualized at a young age, lesbians before her…I guess time will tell..

Posted in:Taylor Momsen

2011

08

Jul

Michelle Rodriguez’s Bikini Pants of the Day

I like bikinis, not so much on dudes who have what may be exerpts of the bible or some other secret society memoir tattooed on his entire body, and not on Michelle Rodriguez. Maybe it is cuz she’s built like a bull dyke, coming to rip off my dick in some tribal central american tribal ritual that I assume is part of her heritage cuz she’s all mayan looking and shit, or maybe it’s cuz she’s not quite wearing a fucking bikini, but instead a pair of hipster leggings she got at American Apparel, who on a side note have a pretty uncollaborative staff, cuz I was there the other day and I asked if I go a tuft of hipster pubic hair with every purchase, you know since all hipsters have bush, and I love bush and bitch asked me to leave her store…clearly they don’t know what pornographic company they are working for….clearly the CEO hasn’t been doing his “Masturbate for me while I masturbate for you” rounds…

Not that it matters, what matters is these pictures of Michelle Rodriguez monkeying around (literally) in the water with hard nipples…..cuz for some reason lesbians always have hard nipples.

Posted in:Michelle Rodriguez

2011

08

Jul

Rachel Bilson Vagina Hugging Shorts of the Day

Rachel Bilson is a pretty uneventful person….you know hot on the OC a decade ago….removed from the scene from some star wars loser…forced to live on a farm held captive by some weird cult sex freak…we call it Elizabeth Smarted…..only to come back to Hollywood, emancipated from the man who stole her youthful celebrity sluttiness that would have made her a star, and that we’d all forget about when she decided to strap down and get serious, but we’d be happy she had that phase, cuz it would give us something to go back on when we want to jerk off to her….cuz that’s what famous bitches are supposed to do…nudity….and now she’s back with Star Wars, cuz some people sympathize with their captors and don’t know how to live without them…it happens alot to people when they are let out of prison….leaving us with only this pictures of her in her pussy tight shorts, that fit amazing, cuz they are only tight around her pussy, and no where else, in some genius design more girls need to get into, to make my everyday walk more masturbation friendly and erotic.

Posted in:Rachel Bilson

2011

08

Jul

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

Last week I decided I am going to make myself famous. So I started my facebook page and figured I’d strategize some publicity stunts, maybe even a university tour, or a party…but I decided the whole thing was too exhausting, so I got drunk alone, cuz that’s when you know you really mean it…and the whole thing continues to be pretty pathetic and thus amazing.

Here’s some morning links. LOVE and CUDDLES.

Some Pierced Guy Hangs from a Hot Air Ballooon…
FOLLOW THIS LINK

20 Sports Wives and Girlfriends that Bring the Hotness
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Free Cam Shows, Cause I Know It’s Been a Hard Week
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Rihanna’s Hottest Magazine Covers
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Port-o-Potty Explosion
FOLLOW THIS LINK

The Situation is Out of a Job
FOLLOW THIS LINK

18 Year Year Old Makes Her Own Sex Tape
FOLLOW THIS LINK

The Kind of Sluts You Wanna Spend Your Weekend With
FOLLOW THIS LINK

David Hasslehoff Finally Got a Job
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:MHD

2011

08

Jul

Beyonce’s Ass to Promote her Album of the Day

Here’s a video that was just sent to me of Beyonce in lingerie…for some new song that doesn’t matter because you are going to put it on mute or pause when you masturbate to it, you sick fuck.

If you know anything about me or this site, you will know that I can’t fucking stand Beyonce. I think she is the devil and I do not endorse this new slutty behavior in efforts to compete with the younger, hotter, less annoying popstars. I don’t dig her booty shaking, or pantsless outfits, and if anything I find it a pathetic attempt for Jay-Z’s affection, cuz he owns Rihanna and shit…..

But I figured I might as well post it here, cuz they’ve only had 900,000 views and Beyonce could use the 4 I’m gonna send her….you know from my failed empire to her leaching monsterous cunt….yay.

On a sidenote, someone told me this is a picture form her promo materials for her new album, you know cuz she’s been starving herself to fit in and figures she’s got it going on enough to pull this kind of stunt, but I’m pretty sure it’s just a stunt ass, or photoshopped to hell, and really the problem is that Beyonce ass, should never be used in this way….and I’m the kinda guy who thinks ass should always be used…no matter what shapes and sizes as long as isn’t Beyonce’s ….

Posted in:Uncategorized

2011

07

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

My vanity facebook project was a huge success…I have 25 fans and shit makes me feel real fucking famous…like I can get in on VIP and get comped dinners and limos and hosting parties like I was Jersey Shore….It confirmed that I am even more pathetic that they are with no fanbase at all and you know what….that’s okay….who needs celebrity….when you’ve got a website nobody reads….

Now here are my stepLINKS….

Casey Anthony Too Controversial for Porn – Just not my porn.
GO

The Worst Driver in the Netherlands Ran Over the Host of the Bad Driver Reality Show He Was On and Here’s the Footage
GO

Eva Mendes is Dating Larry David…That’s fucking weirdness
GO

Emma Watson Crying is Like Porn TO Me
GO

Live Cam Girls That Will Drive You Wild
GO

Fail Compilation June 2011 – VIDEO
GO

The 10 Most Horrible Real-Life Bosses
GO

Caprice Drops Some Big Tanned Cleavage
GO

And More Olivia Wilde Hotness
GO

Free Cam Shows, From Me to You
GO

Latina Shakes Her Ass on the Web Cam
GO

20 Hottest NFL Cheerleader Bikini Shoots
GO

WTF Photo of the Day
GO

Miranda Kerr Pantyhose Upskirt
GO

Yeah I’d Bang Christie Brinkley, No Problem
GO

Kim Kardashian, Just Because
GO

Taylor Momsen is Slutty On stage Again
GO

How About Some Leighton Meester
GO

Lookin good Sweetheart
GO

Asian Hotties Are Fine By Me
GO

Elisabetta Canalis is Single and In a Bikini
GO

3 Way Hotties Are All Soaped Up
GO

Irina Shayk is in a Bikini
GO

Kaylee and Lystra Get It On
GO

Paulina Porizkova’s Topless Pics
GO

Ashley Olsen Just Cause It’s Been Awhile
GO

Tight Bodied Blonde On the Fucking Machine
GO

Justine’s Maxim Photoshoot
GO

Hottie Hangs Out on the Stairs
GO

Some Kate Middleton Hotness
GO

She’s Stripping in Front Of Her Cam
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Some Holly Madison
GO

How to: Dodge the Cops
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

11 People You Always See on the Beach
GO

These Teen Mom Sluts Are Too Much
GO

Raven Will Help Us End Things Off
GO

Lady Gaga is Dying of Lupus, She’s Also Fucking Ugly. Awesome.
GO

Taylor Momsen Forgot Her Pants. Here She Is Flashing Her Crotch
GO

Miley Cyrus, Leather Clad Crotch Down Under
GO

Rumer Willis Lets Her Tits Fly
GO

Taylor Momsen Getting All Lesbo On Stage. Very Hot!
GO

Follow Me On FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2011

07

Jul

Megan Fox’s Shitty Armani Campaign of the Day

Here’s a video behind the scenes to some Megan Fox face for Armani cosmetics bullshit because it is the only work she can get…..but I’m warning you listening to her talk about nonsense is fucking tedious, even painful and distracts from the fact that you all want to fuck her….

The highlight of the video is when she sas she loves when her 8 year old stepson tells me I’m beautiful….maybe because she knows she gives him boners when he watches her shower and that means she appeals to the new generation…or maybe cuz her husband’s an old fucking loser who’s son is more fun to hang out with….but who knows with her, and who really cares, the whole thing is pretty much a pile of shit…that doesn’t turn me on…or even appeal to me…she sucks.

To See THe Shitty Pics of Megan Fox’s Armani Campaign that Don’t Turn Me On….
Follow THis Link

Posted in:Megan Fox