I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2011

11

Jan

The Many Faces of Cameron Diaz of the Day

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Cameron Diaz brought her long, lean, fit, old lady body I’d fuck, even if it’s not quite what it once was, because it’s better than most old lady bodies I see, maybe because she decided to be vain and not have kids, you know spending her millions on herself, living the good life traveling and partying and fucking various men, while all the other girls she went to high school with live the suburban hell life….but a face can’t always hide the hard living, the thousands of loads it has had dripping off its chin, botched botox, sun damage and a 40th birthday…Not that that doesn’t make her just as erotic as she once was, if anything the experiences that have tainted her ass, make her far more appealing, like choosing the veteran hooker over the fresh faced teenage runaway, only the masturbation version, that is if you can jerk off to a bitch in a red dress, which you can, cuz you grew up on comic books and Green Horney Hornet is all the porn you need….before realizing Seth Rogan is in it….cuz he fucking sucks…

Posted in:Cameron Diaz

2011

11

Jan

Lindsay Lohan Hits the Gym in Tight Pants of the Day

I was hoping these pictures of Lohan going to the gym would involve a little more pussy-hugging pants, cuz pussy hugging pants is the only good thing about going to the gym, I mean other than the endorphines Lohan’s therpay team is hoping kick in, so that she doesn’t get back on HORSE but then I realized she’s a fake lesbian and by default her vagina has figuratively closed the fuck up, I mean other than when Sam Ronsn shoves her head insider her in some reverse-birthing fetish cuz lesbians are weird…

These pictures suck, but then again so does Lohan, especially now that she’s sober and boring….and I guess so I am….See Lohan, we are connected at the soul.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2011

11

Jan

Kim Kardashian’s Ass Takes in the Laundry of the Day

Kim Kardashian’s fat ass wore tight pants to drop off her dirty laundry. I’m not entirely sure why she’s trying to get pictures of her taken by the paparazzi, but I can assume it’s got something to do with being an attention whore, cuz I know thaat there is no reason she would have to bring her own laundry in, she’s got people who do that for her, and she’s not as down to earth as you’d think her priviledged ass was, cuz everything has always been done for her…this is strictly her trying to get noticed, and with a mangled face and next level ass, that’s not that hard a thing to pull off…but between you and me, I kinda like her first approach with the sex tape she got pissed on in better than her dirty laundry and dirty laundry has been a consistent fetish of mine since I first ventured into a laundromat many years ago and noticed a pile of panties that were unattended as their owner took her hot college ass next door to get change…but that’s not quite the same exiting that comes with Kim Kardashian’s dirty underwear, because an ass that size must sweat a lot and more importantly, must be hard to wipe proper…

Not that it matters….

Here are some bonus pics of her applying lip gloss to her mutant face and lips….for those of you who can relate to a small lip gloss applicator….you’ll be able to visualize that’s you on her ridiculous lips….

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2011

11

Jan

Snooki Monster’s Disgusting Panties Promoting Her Book of the Day

The fact that this half retarded troll is on a book tour makes me really question the state of America. I realize that she probably didn’t write the shit, but the fact that a publisher would put out the shit, is fucking scary and not even because she’s an ugly, pig of a person who seems like she was created in a fucking trash can outside a local stripclub when a used condom from one of the clients accidentally got a used tampon fertilized, but because everything that comes out of her mouth is everything that is wrong with America and now it is immortalized in book with all the greats before her, like Hemingway and Mark Twain and people who actually knew how to spell their fucking names…..Clearly, this is a product of publishers trying to stay current, relevant and meet sales objectives, it is their answer to not go broke, cuz no one reads anymore and if they do it’s on the internet or at the level of a third grader…we are all fucking doomed.

Here is disgusting on some Roseanne Barr kick making me nervous cuz I know when things like this are idolized the end is near

Posted in:Snooki

2011

11

Jan

Annalynne McCord as an Avatar of the Day

In remaining chronically useless, embarrassing and a joke of a bottom feeding person just trying to hang onto to her low level career as hard as she fucking can because she knows she’s talentless and it is just a matter of time before there’s no work for her, like when her garbage show gets cancelled….

So here she is dressed like an Avatar for the virgin losers who jerk off the Avatar porn, or just Avatar in general, cuz you dream of a place where alien bitches would fall in love with you, cuz human bitches want nothing to do with you.

This isn’t hot to me, but I am posting it anyway…I just hope the body paint is toxic….

Posted in:Annalynne McCord

2011

10

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

I need people to ADVERTISE on DrunkenStepfahter. So if you know anyone who advertises on the internet, you need to convince them to advertise here. I am tired of being broke. Sure begging is shitty, but better when done on the internet than in a subway station or on the street corner in the cold, if you know what I mean….

I need people to add me to Facebook, because I am lonely and planning a world tour and need people to visit in each city I wander into.

I need a solid blowjob from a teenage girl with a tight ass and perky tits, but more importantly, I need to put an end to racism, with my dick. So much is going on and here are the stepLINKS….

JWoww Comes Up With the Shittiest Excuse for Her Nude Photos Ever, the Shittiest Thing Since Her Shitty Career Took Off
GO

This Story About Oliver Stone’s Mother Playing With His cock is Fucked Up and You HAVE to Read It
GO GO

Katie Price Has Still Got It and By Still Got It, I Mean Doesn’t Have It At All
GO

Quit Fuckin’ Around and Get Yourself Something Affordable To Better Your Useless Fucking Life…Seriously….
GO

Keri Hilson Half Naked for Vibe Magazine
GO

Ciara Spreads Them In A Bikini
GO

How’d You Like To Bang Michael Buble’s Fiancee?
GO

Olivia Munn is in Maxim
GO

And More Fetish Porn Bloopers (NSFW) – VIDEO
GO GO

All Work and No Play Makes For a Bad Day (NSFW)
GO

Abigail Clancy’s Tits Are Perfect (NSFW)
GO GO

100 Random Hotties (NSFW)
GO

A Video of a Puppy to Melt Your Heart of Ice – VIDEO
GO

Amy Fisher Bikini Shots, Yes THAT Amy Fisher
GO GO

Sofia Vergara’s Awesome Cleavage
GO

This Little Lady Will Help Make Monday Bearable
GO GO

Surfing Instructer Eats It – VIDEO
GO

Suelyn Medeiros, Nuff Said
GO

Snap! Famous Cell Phone Pics We Can’t Forget – (NSFW)
GO GO

Unbelievably Stupid Mom almost Kills her Kid on Train Tracks – VIDEO
GO

Emilianna, Phoenix Marie and Claire Dames (NSFW) – VIDEO
GO GO

Jenny Shows Off Her Tits (NSFW) – VIDEO
GO

Playmate Jaime Edmondson For Bud Light – VIDEO
GO

I Love Me a Japanese Cutey
GO GO

Nasty Party Game – VIDEO
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Nude Iveta C on the Rocks – NSFW
GO

Candice Swanepoel, Lindsay Ellingson, Lily Aldridge and Erin Heatherton all on one cover? Yes Please
GO GO

Mall Unveils Man-Eating Koi/Piranha Hybrid
GO

AnnaLynne McCord and Friends, Just Because
GO

Jim Carrey Paradys Black Swan on SNL and It’s Amazing
GO GO

Biggest Movie of the Week is a Western….
GO

Now Buy a Western Inspired Shirt….
GO

Lily Aldridge Has A Bangable Ass And Here It Is
GO

I Wanna Stick My Cock Between Sofia Vergara’s Tits
GO

Kourtney Kardashian’s Big Bastardly Mom Boobs
GO

Helen Flanagan Sweet No Panty Upskirt
GO

Pictures of the AVN Awards I Judged but I Wasn’t Flown To
GO

Some Hot Brazilian Ass
GO

Jeff Bridges Wears THis T-Shirt-I know Cuz I Mailed it To Him….
GO

Follow Me On FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2011

10

Jan

Sally Gordon Brings the Tits for Fashion of the Day

Her name is Sally Gordon, she pretty much new to the internet, the only other Sally Gordon I could find was in her 80s, so it is safe to say this Sally Gordon is just another unknown bitch willing to get half naked for the sake of advancing her career and becoming known, you know by disguising a topless photoshoot by adding some backlight and filters to make the whole thing all romantic and artistic and shit, telling her that tiny nipples and tits are an integral part of the compostition for the message trying to be conveyed, when really it’s all showing tit and I’m down with that hustle…

Here are the pics from Pulp Magazine..

Posted in:Sally Gordon

2011

10

Jan

Ali Landry in a Bikini of the Day

The Doritos Girl still has it 12 years later…..

This is what she was….

And this is what she is now…The only unfortunate thing in all this is the reality that 99% of bitches don’t age this well, it’s like some cocktease fantasy to all of us wishing the slobs we married kept the same body they had in their 20s, if anything this is not a beacon of hope but a source of anger, but the good kind of source of anger that you can hate masturbate to – which is kinda like hate fucking only all by yourself…weirdo…

Posted in:Ali Landry

2011

10

Jan

Angela and Amber Cope Showing Off Tit of the Day

Here are the Cope twins, two bitches I’ve never heard of but who are apparently pro Nascar drivers, something I can only assume is a novelty act for ratings, because Nascar is about as classy as professional wrestling, and this kind of pussy is coveted by the redneck hicks who race the shit cuz it reminds them of the strippers they meet on the road, marry and have families with and reminds the redneck hick fans of the pussy they can’t ever have cuz they work shit jobs to support their fat wife’s bulk toilet paper purchases at Walmart….you know how it is….

So here is one of the twins showing off her fake tits cuz that’s her hustle and what stripper lookin trash like her are paid to do…

Posted in:Amber Cope|Angela Cope

2011

10

Jan

Lily Aldridge in Her Bikini for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

Lily Aldridge is a Victoria’s Secret Angel who I have kinda heard of. Not because she’s famous and not because I keep track of who Victoria’s Secret hires to walk their fashion shows or star in their boring catalongs and not because I keep track of the people who marry the members of Kings of Leon band but because I am in love with her sister.

It’s not real love because love doesn’t exist and I have never actually met her. It is a love that came over the internet after being friends on facebook since she was 15 years old, you know in an attempt to befriend her when she was young so that when she turns 18 it’ll be natural progression to bed me…I hardly ever talk to her anymore, but when we did it was glorious and that’s good enough for me….because if I did ever try to kidnap her and make her my child wife like she was that Smart kid, I’d be totally distracted at family functions by this sister of hers, cuz I had no idea just how pretty fucking magnificent she is….

Here are her pics, hard at work.

Posted in:Lily Aldridge