I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

22

Feb

Sarah Silverman Ruins Lesbian Fantasies of the Day

I hate Sarah Silverman partially because she is fucking ugly but also because I never thought she was funny despite the world buying into her whole “be as gross and as inappropriate as possible” comedy. I just thought she had solid marketing behind her and since the world are a bunch of fucking spineless sheep with no opinion of their own, it made sense for them to find her funny, or at least say they do, so that they fit into the miserable conversation their coworkers have in the office.

But then again, I hate all female comedians, not because I don’t think vagina can be funny, but because they are all fucking dykes, or desperate fat chicks to begin with, and I fucking hate dykes and fat chicks. They are the breed of people that I pretend don’t exist, and I’d rather spend my time laughing at my bad jokes I tell hot little college girls in efforts to get them to show me their vaginas….

I guess in Sarah Silverman’s defense, she has been involved in a really funny joke at least once, and that was when I overheard a group of guys talking about how hot she is and they were fucking serious…I don’t know what kind of fucking guy is turned on by a girl solely based on her comedy, or why someone would think there is anything attractive about this big bushed, sloppy tit, who fucks Jimmy Kimmel pussy, but I can only blame the same Marketing campaign that got her a career.

Here she is trying to be funny, pretending to be a lesbian for the camera and it is really just a reminder that all my lesbian fantasies are NEVER what actual lesbianism is like. Actual lesbianism is a disgusting thing and that depresses me…..

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Lesbian|Sarah Silverman

2010

22

Feb

Hilary Duff’s Engaged and Wearing Little Shorts of the Day

Engaged, Fatter, loser with stupid hair, who dresses like the good days of team initiation aka the sexual peak of his life, where broom’s in his ass were reality and not just something he jerks off to.

I don’t really keep up on Hilary Duff news, since I cancelled my membership to her fan club when she turned 18, or as I like to call it, irrelevant. I do know that she’s a little fatter, a lot more used up and apparently engaged to be married to some asshole hockey player that has turned her into the puck slut that gets passed around the locker room that she always wanted to be. Hey, this is team sports and nothing gets between the team, unless it’s a willing slut who doesn’t mind a dick in her mouth, ass and hands, while the rest of the guys are jerking off to the performance, but that’s all for team building and you know what, Hilary Duff was born for this……

Either way, her future husband’s a fucking joke with stupid hair who I guess is ready to claim her as his own, since the good days of team initiation, also knows as his sexual peak, where brooms in his ass were reality and not just something he jerks off to, is over and it’s time to settle the fuck down….

I’m diggin’ her little shorts and swollen, possibly pregnant or just on her period, or just wearing a good bra tits, cuz I guess whenever a girl locks herself down, she likes to cocktease the world to feel like she’s still got it, and I am not complaining, cuz that would be gay….

Here she is simulating sucking his dick, because sometimes, at least the first week after proposing to a bitch, that level of committment is all she needs to be willing to suck dick like when you first started dating, but that ends fast enough…until the same thing happens the first week of marriage…until that ends too….So proposing makes for good sex, but it’s a short term solution, as they all turn fat and ugly which is around the time of their sexual peak….conveniently located in a time you don’t want to have sex with them anymore….

Pics via Bauer
Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Hilary Duff|Shorts

2010

19

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

I wasn’t having sex with this girl this afternoon, but I probably should have been. I was too busy trying to find a cheap Mexican food, a beer, and cheap willing women who are trained in massage but had to shelve their dreams of working at some luxury spa and turn their grip to giving handjobs on street corners….none of which came true…but I did convince a guy to let me ride in his horse drawn carriage and I felt like it was my fairytale wedding day….but only because my wife wasn’t there and a marriage without her is a fucking dream….

My stepLINKS are also rumored to being a dream in some parts….

Panties From One of the Tiger Whores….
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I Don’t Condone Hate Crimes, But When I See Gay People Like This, It Makes Me Understand Why People Beat Up Homos
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100 Pictures of Hot Girls Tailgating
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Because Friday Night Doesn’t Have to Be Spent With Your Mom
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Some Hot Sluts Wrestling in Bikinis and Oil – VIDEO
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Who Knew The Predator Could Rival Michael Jackson in a Dance Battle? – VIDEO
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Kourtney Kardashian’s Hottest Pics
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Jade Jagger Panty Upskirt Throwback
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Because At Some Point, Every Dude Needs a Good Wingman – VIDEO
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And Now, The Best Billboard Ever Made Ever
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Gwenyth Paltrow is a Walking Fucking Parody of Herself – VIDEO
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Euro Teen Gets Freaky With the Vibrator
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Angella Marcello is The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of
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Well Here’s Thr Proof Once and For All Lady Gaga Has No Penis, and To be Honest, I Preferred Being Able to Believe She Was Half Man
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The Only Thing Worse Then Playing Football Like a Girl is Playing Football Like a Jonas Brother
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Random Photos to Waste Your Day
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A Little Bit of Alicia Keys
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Miley Cyrus Short Shorts Because You Are a Pedophile
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Nikki April and Sammi Get It On
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Amber Heard is Fully Bangable
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Seriously Hot UFC Ring Girl Arianny Celeste
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Carey Mulligan Looks Like a Fairy I’d Like to Fuck
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WTF: Zebra Escapes Circus And Ends Up On A Major Interstate In Atlanta
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Lisa Rinna is Calling the Kettle Black
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Sandy is Bare Down There
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When a Hero Saves the Day
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I Gotta Go to Sweden and Bang Some Broads
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Nothing Says Comedy Like a Fat Crackhead – VIDEO
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Excercise Ball Faceplant – VIDEO
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Kitchen Striptease – VIDEO
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Kelly Rowland is Lookin Hot
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Corin Riggs Has an Ass Like No Other
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BONUS – MORE GULLY PROJECT SHIT AT CHUCK E. CHEESE
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Follow Me You Bastards!!!
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

19

Feb

Tightest Pants Ever of the Day

I saw this and couldn’t help but post it because I think these may just be the tightest pants ever and I can’t stop fucking laughing at the shit. You think she coulda chose shit in a different color, or maybe she’s not actually wearing pants, is this painted on? I really don’t know what I am lookin’ at, I just know it looks like the mannequin I once jerked off on, back in the 80s when I believe the movie Mannequin was a documentary…

Posted in:Ever|Tightest Pants

2010

19

Feb

Tiger Woods Press Conference Was a Sad Day for Men of the Day

I wrote on twitter that people need to leave Tiger Woods alone. I understand he is a billion dollar industry, but making a man publically admit he’s a little bitch who is owned by his sponsors, while pretending to be defending his wife, when he knows she’s just as bad as the whores he fucked behind her back, in terms of only liking him for his fame and money.

I get that he was backed into a corner and had to read the shit 4 months later with no sincerity because he knows in the back of his mind that every single one of us would have done the same fucking thing.

I also know that as a billionaire, he should be allowed to fuck anything he wants, from animals on the endagered species list to orphans he imports from third world countries and we shouldn’t have any right to judge him, as he’s proven to us that he’s better at life than we are..

The whole thing was depressing to see no matter how hard he tried to let us know he was being forced to do it…Wanting to fuck is not “having a problem”, it is normal, it is what our civilization is based on and to give him shit about it is so against the American dream, it is just another example of Christians raining on our parade so everyone’s gotta fuck off and stop annoying me with this Tiger shit. It’s done.

I’m talking to you TMZ.

And I guess this press conference is the official joke of the day.

To See The Press Conference Follow THis Link
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Posted in:Press Conference.|Tiger Woods

2010

19

Feb

Heidi Montag’s New Tits Released 7 New Songs of the Day

If you’re into really bad music, like annoyingly bad music that is self-produced, self released because a bitch thinks she has what it takes to be a popstar but the record labels don’t becuase she should just stick to being a bottom feeding reality show cunt who is lucky to even have the bottom feeding reality show lottery ticket but managed to luck out thanks to some poor executive decision. Then you’ll be happy to know she’s released 7 new songs on youtube, if you click through you’ll find the other uploads that I refuse to post because I’ve been waiting for this bitch to fail, and figure this song is bad enough for you to get the idea of what to expect, leading to keeping views real low so she really understans that suicide is the only option.

Here are some pics of her new face and body thanks to surgery from seriously low self-esteem from the media laughing at her for the joke that she is….without realizing that even with the surgery she’s still a fucking joke, just better looking than ever, even though plastic surgery ages horribly, but we don’t have to worry about that just now…here are the pics..

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Heidi Montag|New Face|New Music

2010

19

Feb

Kate Moss Does Charity Show for Haiti of the Day

I would have thought Kate Moss would have been more into doing charity work for HIV, you know since she’s had sex with so many needle sharing heroin users over the course of her life and career, cuz dirty rockstar cock is her thing, making her at risk for the shit and maybe she knows it or that she has it and hasn’t made it public and that’s the real reason she’s doing this good deed, you know to rack up some brownie points in case their is a God and she needs to counter him when he greets her at the gates with a list of shit she’s done that makes her the vile fucking girl that matches her vile fucking vagina destined for hell….you know the whole bad mother, drug user, cheater, pig who did nothing good for society cuz she was too self absorbed only for her to say “but there was that Haiti charity thing, remember that?”……kinda thing….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Charity|Haiti|Kate Moss

2010

19

Feb

Some Kim Kardashian Cleavage of the Day

You know I hate this bitch and everything her and her family stand for. I hate that they are famous and that they have money and I hate their cheesy, Ed Hardy chachi attitudes. I hate that she is a fat bitch with a workout DVD, or that she only gets black cock cuz that’s all that can make its way around her fat ass, but instead of realizing that she is flawed, she instead owns it and focuses on the fact that dude is a Superbowl winner and that ignorance just makes me hate her more, but like you, I can’t help but appreciate her cleavage, because no matter how useless a bitch is, if she’s still got tits, she’s good enough for me to post pictures of…..and that is my weakness and I hate myself for letting myself get won over so easily….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:cleavage|Kim Kardashian

2010

19

Feb

Ashlee Simpson’s Mom Ass Feeds the Meter of the Day

I guess it was a slow day in celebrity sluts being sluts because everywhere I look I see these Ashlee Simpson’s mom ass in tight jeans feeding the meter and I don’t fucking get it. Maybe people are into the way the pants hug her cunt, or maybe they like that she looks like she’s wearing a wig cuz they have a bald girl fetish cuz bald girls are always fun to cum all over, or maybe they like the leader of the suburban mall emo girl even though suburban mall emo girls are fucking annoying even when they suck your dick with their pierced tongue, or maybe they like knowing a baby has passed through this young body proving that she fucks, or that her she has a hot sister and faggot husband, or they like flat ass or maybe they just miss her recording career she thought she could pull off cuz her sister did. I just know they bore me….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Ass|Meter|Pussy Huggin'

2010

19

Feb

Penelope Cruz is the Nose I Want to Fuck of the Day

Girls with big noses are usually scary, monster looking bitches who can’t suck my dick proper because my dick’s so small that I had to ask the doctor if it was actually a dick.

They only get the tip in their mouth before bumpin against my pubic wall, embarrassing all parties involved, except me, because I have no shame. I just spin it on them having the birth defect and not me, even if I know that’s not entirely true, but unlike Tiger Woods, I don’t admit to my shortcomings, I spin them in a way that I come out on top and bitch ends up stripping to save up enough money to get a nose job….

Penelope Cruz on the other hand, is hot despite the big nose that may be physically unable to suck my dick, because that doesn’t matter, as we’ll never have to cross that road….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Nose|Penelope Cruz