I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

28

Dec

Some Dead President Offspring Bikini of the Day

I got this niche fetish that involves getting off to Dead President daughters in bikinis and since it’s a rare thing to find, since George Washington’s half breed slave babies are long dead, I am stuck with JFK’s daughter in her one-piece and that’s good enough for me…even though I highly doubt she’s good enough for her husband…he probably looks her over every night before bed, happy she’s not 300 pounds, but disappointed she’s not the hot pussy she was when they got married…

BONUS – SOME BLOWJOB FACE POSSIBLY NAKED UNDER HER TOWEL PICS

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Caroline Kennedy

2009

28

Dec

Rihanna’s Fat Bajan Bikini Ass at Home of the Day

I don’t know about you, but seeing these pictures of Rihanna on the beach brings me hope. No, not the kind of hope that I will one day crawl inside her fat ass pussy and die from the smells, but because there was once a pop star named Lisa Left Eye Lopez and Aalyiah who went on similar vacations back to the islands and never came back to pollute our radio stations again and they weren’t nearly as offensive as Rihanna. So we can only hope…

I guess the other hope is that her family decide that she’s gone too far and lost her roots, and needs to take it the fuck down a notch, locking her in their shanty and never letting her out of their eye…or maybe her people will revolt because she is an embarassment and stone her to death, there are just so many options….all which hopefully involve her covering her shitty body up because it’s not that nice to stare at.

Merry Christmas too all and too all a good night, what? too soon….assholes….

Pics via INF

Posted in:barbados|Bikini|Rihanna

2009

25

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

Marie-Eve Martinez here. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m the youngest of Jesus’ two step-daughters and for those of you who do know me, it’s been far too long, I know.

Did you miss me? I’ve missed you!.

I got an email from Jesus late last night telling me that if I didn’t hear from him by this evening I should be prepared to take the helm for the day, possibly even forever, because his absence could likely mean he is dead in an alley somewhere, or at least completely comatose and passed out in a puddle of his own holiday sick – a lethal combination of KFC Holiday Supper for One, discount bottom shelf booze and/or cough syrup. I’m sitting here full after a long and over drawn Christmas dinner, and by Christmas dinner I mean a half a bottle of Jameson, sick of Christmas movies, Christmas decorations and if I hear one more Christmas song, I will probably puke. I’d like to meet the guy who wrote It’s a Wonderful Life and ask him just whose life he was talking about, or maybe just put a bullet in his head. Either or.

My brand new Yorkshire Terrier is humping my arm while I type this to an obscene amount. The dog, which I don’t particularly care for, was a gift from a guy I care for even less than the dog. He is a cute little bastard though – I’m speaking of the guy here, not the dog although the dog is okay too – and if anything that serves as a reminder that even though I hate Christmas, I do love cock, and if that means giving a small rodent a good home, I suppose I can. It makes me feel charitable this time of year without having to go work in a soup kitchen around homeless people that reek of piss more than Jesus does on a hot day.

Anywhooo, from all of us at drunkenstepfather.com, to all 6 of you reading this out there, we hope you have Happy Holidays. Or don’t. Whatever. Actually, we hate you and we hope you drive home drunk and kill yourself, or at least someone else.

But before you do that, you should probably click these links.

Hugs and Kisses

Marie-Eve Martinez


A 2009 Celebrity Bikini Recap You Don’t Want to Miss
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Merry Christmas!! Let’s Tackle the Pope
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Because I Know You’re Suicidal and Alone on Christmas
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This Just In: Britney Spears is Still Crazy
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Christmas Then and Now
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Santa’s Slay Looks Like the Best Christmas Movie EVER
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Rosie Jones Topless Christmas Card. Holiday Greetings From NUTS Magazine
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Gwenyth Paltrow is So Disgusting
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Mary J Blige Wouldn’t Punch Her Husband, But She Will Threaten Him
With Violence Until He Backs the Fuck Down – VIDEO
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The Top 10 Things We’ll Have A Hard Time Explaining To Our Grandchildren Of The Decade
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How The Grinch Touched Christmas – VIDEO
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Striptease of the Day
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Singer Amy Winehouse Charged With Assault
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Katy Perry Makes Me Want to Puke
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Christina Aguilera Makes Motherhood Look Good, Except For the
WHole Pushing a Baby Out of Her Vagina Part
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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If Santa Isn’t a Hot Slut, I Don’t Know Who Is
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Gabrielle Union in a Marc Baptiste Photo Shoot
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Ahhh to Find a Blonde in Your Bed
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How Not to Do a Burn Out in a Car That’s Way Too Good For a Person Like You
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More Drunk Sluts in the VIP
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Lexi is Masterbating
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Skater Boy Double Fail
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Lela Star is Sexy
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Adriana Volpe Topless
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Now THAT’S a Fucking Dildo
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I Wish This Slut Was My Christmas Tree
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Jennifer Lamiraqui Wants to Wish You a Merry Christmas
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Nikki, Sammie and Roxane Live Together
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Ginger Peels Off Her Lingerie
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WTF Photo of the Day
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Gorgeous Girls Gift Wrapped [56 Photos]
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Alison Angel Looks Great in the Sun
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Nuts – ‘Sexiest New Babes of 2010!’
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Violet Loves Christmas and I Love Violet
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I Knew Star Trek Had Huge Homo Erotic Undertones
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Bitch Needs a Brazilian
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Classic: N64 Christmas Kid
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Yeah I’d Fuck a Bitch in Tie Dye
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

25

Dec

The Marc Jacobs’ Beach Christmas Special of the Day

Wanna know what Marc Jacobs got for Christmas….Fucked up the ass….at least he has his birth control patch on…so that he won’t be making gay babies/cum farts.

Feliz Navidad…..you queers…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Christmas|Marc Jacobs

2009

24

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

Merry Christmas To All and To All a Good Night…you gang of fucking assholes…

Olivia Wilde’s Ass is Mighty, Mighty Fine
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Bad News Everybody, Christmas Has Herpes This Year
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New Developments From the Courtney Love School of Parenting
This Bitch is Giving Joan Crawford a Run for Her Money
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Because It’s Christmas Eve and You Have a Better Chance of Winning the Lottery Than Getting Laid
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On Christmas Morning – VIDEO
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Frankie and Johnny’s Furniture – VIDEO
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Anna Friel and Her Panty Upskirt
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Katie Holmes is Disgusting
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Country Hicks Are Ridiculous and I Don’t Feel Bad Laughing At Them Whatsoever
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25 Awesome Winter Fails
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Stripfilm of the Day
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Okay I Love Hamburger as Much as Anyone, But This Bitch is Taking It a Bit Far
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Red Box Has to Pull These Ads of Brittany Murphy And I Don’t Blame Them
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I Can’t Wait Till Madonna’s Teenaged Daughter Rebels Against Her Geriatric Ass
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There’s a New Kevin Smith Movie and Here is the Trailer
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Good News!!! Miley Cyrus May Drop Dead!
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Candice Swanepoel Gallery
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Merry Christmas From Jana
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Skirt Gets Pulled Off on Live TV – VIDEO
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Jamee in the Dressing Room
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Now This is a Rap Battle – VIDEO
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Horney Sluts Get Dirty in the VIP
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Alessandra Ambrosio Collection
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Christmas Morning Temper Tantrum
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Top 10 Ho Ho Hos of Hollywood
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Shakira is Topless
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Sonia Hits the Showe
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Gotta Love Big Tits in a Sling Shot – VIDEO
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Stephanie Seymour Looks Great in a Bikini, Even If She is Holding Something she Pushed Out of Her Vagina
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Lucky Lesbians Paulina James and Kylie Wild
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Angel Dark in a Tiny Black Thong
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Kristen Jean is a Girl Next Door Type
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Fuck You Kim Kardashian
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Gotta Love a Big Titted Blonde
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Jennifer is a Golden Girl
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Doutzen Kroes Deserves Our Gratitude
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How Much to Party With Jersey Shore?!
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I Still Gotta Thing For Black Chicks
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Susan Sarandon is Molesting a Young Boy
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ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO GIFTWRAPS HERSELF FOR CHRISTMAS … AND THEN UNWRAPS THE HOT PRESENT FOR YOU!
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Some Body Painted Video Girl
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

24

Dec

All I want for Christmas is Lohan to Send Me a Text Message of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is a bad santa. Let’s hope she doesn’t try to work for the make-a-wish foundation, or even to hit up all the homeless shelters or sick kid hospitals this Christmas for attention cuz she’s a bad fucking santa….

All I asked her for was to send me a couple nude pics and instead she just pretended I don’t exist, because in her world I don’t, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt me on the inside when I sat by my phone while sugar plims danced in my head, waiting for a response, especially when I see these pictures of her so actively and passionately texting some other motherfucker who is proabbly more relevant than me, but I like to think she’s just doing it to mock me knowing she ignored me and driving that point home.

Sure at first I thought maybe she was too busy getting her lips done to use her phone, then I thought that maybe she was doing me a favor because she knows her vagina’s a mess and something not worth seeing and that not sending me nudes a Christmas Miracle in disguise….and it really doesn’t matter cuz she’s in 5 years no one will even remember who Lohan is…..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Chirstmas|Lindsay Lohan|Text

2009

24

Dec

Jessica Simpson Without Make-Up of the Day

Whoever told Jessica Simpson this was a good idea, needs to be fired….but at least she’s dressed like a Christmas present, which is only fitting because I hear when you unwrap her ass, it looks like sugarplums dancing in your head, smells and tastes like Christmas Dinner if it was blended and left in the sun for a week and has the constant discharge that has the color and consistency of eggnog….and I’d totally feast on this shit if given the opportunity cuz all I want for Christmas is to K-Fed her….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Make-Up

2009

24

Dec

Melanie Griffith is a Street Whore of the Day

She looks like one of those weathered whores who offers pretty solid discounts, especially this time of year, because most people go for the whore who still has a functioning vagina. She’s dressed like one because cheap animal prints make the whores feel luxurious in such an not so luxurious job. She’s picking up a john like one, sure it’s her husband Antonio Banderas, but you know this is all just part of their sick roleplaying sex games and that the first Aspen back alley they find, motherfucker will be fuckin’ her behind a dumpster…..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Melanie Griffith|Whore

2009

24

Dec

Avril Lavigne’s Fat Ass and New Pussy on the Beach of the Day

I guess Avril Lavigne finally got her skater boy, but by the looks of this dude, he’s more of a figure skating boy than an actual skater boy, but maybe that’s what happens when we get older, the silly emo kid in platform shoes and spiked dyed hair becomes more of a fucking joke, you know that phase she’ll look back on and cringe she needs someone a little more refined….and by refined I mean someone who doesn’t care about how she’s gained 25 lbs and doesn’t want bang with the lights on…which works for him because he’d rather be fucking his heavyset male hairstylist and the darkness allows him to visualize her doughy body against his is actually his stylists’, only his male hairstylist doesn’t get him the same visibility as pretending to be straight and into this popstar who looks like she’s gained her holiday weight a little early….and lucky for us she wasn’t wearing a bikini…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ass|Avril Lavigne|Fat

2009

23

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

I was in line at the pharmacy and the woman behind me was buying Maxi Pads and I was thrown off. I haven’t met a girl in decades who use maxi pads. That was like some shit from the 80s when you knew a girl had her period just by the sounds she made when she walked……Then I realized it must be a gift and figured I should get some for my wife. I figured it was a little vintage throwback to a better time, a little practical and totally affordable, I could hear her screams of joy….so I pulled together a couple bucks and got it for her. I figure sometimes you gotta splurge to get people off your back, ya know….

I just hope the fact that she hasn’t had her period in over 8 years or 70 pounds ago, all thanks to a hysterectomy caused by the HPV she thinks I gave her. The same HPV that when undiagnosed gave her multiple miscarriages instead of the babies I promised to give her early in the relationship prior to the operation that made her a man….a very hungry man……….I’m sure shell love it….but this could be worse than last years gift which was a can of no name brand baked beans, which is pretty bad, considering brand name baked beans are a fucking dollar……

‘Tis the Fucking Season…Here are my stepLINKS….


Big Asian Booty
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Brooke Hogan and Her Camel Toe
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Camels and Camel Toes, the Movie
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Today’s Courtney Love School of Parenting Tip Is…
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The 12 Hottest Christian Women
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Just Because You’re Getting Fat Over Christmas Doesn’t Mean You Have to Be Lonely Too
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Cheryl Tweedy is Dranched and Sexy on the Cover of Q Magazine
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What Happens When Samuel L. Jackson, McLovin, and 30 other major Hollywood
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The Simpsons in Eastern Europe is The Samsonadzes and It Looks Like a Giant Piece of Shit
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The Best of Kristen Stewart, Lookin Pretty Trashy for the Most Part
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25 Awesome Christmas Trees
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What Do We Do When We Fall Off the Horse, Steven Tyler? We Get Back On Again
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Stripfilm of the Day
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Demi Moore is a Geriatric and She is Mad at Ashton Kutcher
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Hana Soukupova is European and Sexy
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If You Ever Doubted Paris Hilton Was Completely Retarded
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And More in the Britney Murphy Saga
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Noeline Baker Was a Drunk Housewife Before MTV Made It Cool
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And That’s Why You Don’t Let Your Kid Touch Your Laptop
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Can You Spot the Fake Boobs?
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Gotta Love a Backflip Fail Video
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Nerdy Mom Fucks Her Pussy and Ass
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Hot Brunette Goes to Work on Her Own Body
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Catrinel Menghia Does Lingerie
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MR. Lough is a Cunt
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Miranda Kerr is Lookin Hot
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Eve Wyrwal and Lucy Pinder Topless
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Jenni, Luisa or Lisen
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Say Hello to Mariah Milano
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Miss Norway Throwback
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Yuliya and Amy Get It On
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Chelsea Medley and Lingerie
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Kagney Assumes the Position
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I Knew Martha Stewart Was a Lesbian
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Japanese Beatboxer
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These Jersey Shore Assholes Are Making Me Want to Kill Someone, Namely, Them
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Poor Santa – VIDEO
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Jersey Shore Street Fighter
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66 Women Who Wowed 2009
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Nicole Kidman is Not Tiger Woods
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Yeah, Some Jessica Alba is Alright
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MIRANDA KERR HAS PERFECT NIPPLES!
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS…..

This is an Interesting Teen Fat Chick Sex Christmas Party,
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Get Holiday Classic Eazy E – Merry Muthafuckin’ Xmas
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Posted in:stepLINKS