I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

18

Aug

Britney Spears Shows Off Her Panties of the Day

I don’t know if this upskirt is old or new, because Britney’s not one for trying to keep her legs crossed, proven with the fact that she’s got two kids and all the pictures that have hit over the last couple years, but she’s wearing underwear, which makes me think they are newer, since her dad does an underwear check before she leaves the house everyday, not because he’s trying to clean up her image, but because he likes seeing the pussy he made, like he’s God or some shit, which is okay since he’s from the South and her pussy is like his pick-up truck, he can ride it anytime he wants.

What he didn’t tell Britney is that she’s got the hairiest backs of her thigh out there, and that’s not really something that makes me think clean, hygenic or shaved. I was walking in the gay part of town lookin’ for some tranny whores last night and one of the latina ones was wearing a mini skirt half way down his ass and no panties, dude was showing about 3/4 of his ass like he was a frat boy mooning the campus as part of his hazing, and his shit was groomed better than Britney’s and dude gives blowjobs in alley’s for 20 bucks, making me think she’s really go no excuse for this disgusting laziness.

Either way, here are the pics….

Posted in:Britney Spears|Panties

2008

18

Aug

Kate Beckinsale Bikini Pictures are a Scam of the Day

So the paparazzi are psycho cocksuckers who try to rape me everyday for posting pictures they claim belong to them, despite having written consent from the people in the pictures and they are making a fuckin’ killing cashing in on being the scum of the earth. When they aren’t in trees snappin’ off shots that they are going to turn around and sell for fucking millions, they are on my fucking jock about posting their pictures without paying, while threatening me with law suits, claiming that they will ruin me and destroy me. Really not the kind of people you’d want to invite to your family Christmas dinner at the homeless shelter.

Either way, they released these pictures of Kate Beckinsale, that could be of anyone, because the quality is so bad, and are selling this pixelated shit that reminds me of when I used to jerk off to scrambled porn, because she’s in a fuckin’ bikini and asshole fan boys are paying the price because all they need is someone to tell them it’s Kate Beckinsale in a bikini to cum themselves as they close their eyes and imagine them walking down the aisle with her before spending their first night with a woman in their honeymoon sweet with her.

In their defense, they are the same people who have been dressing their vaccuum cleaner as Kate Beckinsale for the last year so that they have something to cuddle in bed with at night, so I guess jerking off to these pictures isn’t as disturbing as what they are used to, but all I see is a scam from the photo agencies, who have been scammin’ longer than these virgins have been masturbating and I hope they eat shit and die.

Posted in:Bikini|Kate Beckinsale

2008

18

Aug

Kim Kardashian is a Plus-Sized Pussycat Doll of the Day

I wish the Pussycat Dolls were more honest in their name than they are, when I think of Pussy, I think of hot wet vagina, but for some reason these bitches just do tame, mainstream burlesque, and never actually show their pussies. So shit is a fucking lie. When I think of dolls, I think of the girl you will end up with, who isn’t actually a girl, but a 5000 dollar Real Girl who looks a bit like a girl and who never says no to sex, not because she’s a minx with a high sex drive, but because you are a rapist and its just your jerk your hand the next generation or some shit. The Pussycat Dolls should be called the Half Naked Cockteases, and when they have guest appearances from people like Kardashian, who are starving for press they change the Marquee to the “Ditchpig Immigrants”.

Kardashian is fat because she eats too much, she has no business dressing in lingerie, except when alone at home trying to feel sexy for a candle lit masturbation sessions, or when she gets down with black dudes, like she was a middle aged divorcee on Vacation in Jamaica lookin’ for a good time to help her get on with her life, but definitely never in public or on stage for people who paid tickets to see the shit like it was some kind of modern sexy freakshow at the fuckin’ carnival. It’s offensive to me and you encouraging her doesn’t help her or the obesity crisis, it just makes things worse.

Speaking of obesity, I went out drinking on Saturday, because I couldn’t kill my hangover and figured that drinking it was I do and when I drink consistently I don’t get hungover and as I was walking out of the bar drunk and tame, I walked into a group of Napolean small man syndrome jacked dudes punching each other in the face. I tried capturing the ridiculousness on video for stepTV but when one of the 5 foot 3, cocained-up, martial artist lame thugs saw me he got up in my face and threatened to take me down. As he was getting in my face, 5 of his mini men with biceps and tight shirts surrounded me like I was their next target and despite finding the whole thing to be a scene from a cartoon, I backed down because I am too old to fight 24 year olds for no reason. As they surrounded me, they were spitting out shit like “fatso” and he even went so far to call me “tits McGee” like some kind of trash redneck Canadian dis that was hysterically bad, I ended up getting out of the situation without getting hit, but about 4 minutes later I was innocently standing next to a hot girl and a dude walked by and said “your girlfriend is hot, but you’re fat”, the worse thing about that was that she wasn’t even my girlfriend, because if she was I wouldn’t have cared so much about being called names for no reason, because hot girls have that effect on me.

Either way, I went home with my tail between my legs, feeling like shit about myself, not because I didn’t already know I was fat, but because the world has little creativity when it comes to dissing someone, it’s like they go straight to the obvious. So instead of getting beat up about it and hitting the gym, I am going to make an effort in creatively cutting people down from this day forward, because there are a lot of assholes out there, I might as well be the best one.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Lingerie|Pussycat Doll

2008

18

Aug

Kimberly Locke Performing in Her Underwear Video of the Day

Here’s an older video of Kimberly Locke, some busty, fat chick who was on American Idol and hasn’t really done much since, except maybe for this Spring Break performance in what looks like a fat chick matching bra and panty set, but may be a fat chick bikini get up, but doesn’t matter because whatever it is is making me realize why I am scared of College Spring Break parties, and it’s not because of the herpes or mennigitis outbreaks, but more to do with for every hot chick showing off her pussy ready to get gangbanged while I watch, there’s 10 fat chicks drunk and letting loose and fat chicks are like the devil because despite not wanting to crawl up on them like they are a couch, it’s still fuckin’ hard to say no to them, not because they have you pinned down to the bed and you can’t move or breathe but because they are the easiest vagina being thrown in your face and that’s the kind of manipulative and abusive shit that fucks with your self esteem and you carry around with you for the rest of your life, making you unable to look at chicks the same way again about 3 seconds after you’re done. Either way, this is how I’m starting the week off. Enjoy.

Posted in:KImberly Locke|Performing|Underwear

2008

16

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

I am on day two of the hangover, I really can’t figure out what the fuck I did to myself on Thursday night, but it was bad. I was out of fucking commission all day yesterday and struggled to do the little work I did do, only to pass out at 8 pm and sleep right though until now. I wasn’t doing drugs, I was just smoking shitty cigars so I don’t know why I got kicked in the fuckin’ ass, but I did, that said, here are my links because I got some recovering to do. I am going soft, I guess it was just a matter of time before my drinking ability followed my dough like physique and impotent dick, but it still depresses me.

I just ran into some American dude at the office supply store, he is the kind of guy you’d expect to be at the office supply store scoping out young girls buying school supplies, you know the kind of guy who you wouldn’t be surprised if you got called and told he got arrested for jerking off in public, raping girls or molesting children. I’ve unfortunately known him for a while and had to entertain his conversation where he went on a rant about the Olympics. He was so fuckin’ pissed that China is beating the US in medal count at the Olympics and decided to turn it on me and tell me I suck because Canada hasn’t won shit to make him feel better that the USA being second best to China, which is really just a preview of what’s to come in the next 15 years when China takes top rank as the most powerful country in the world on all fronts and this is just a cocktease showing that they are slowly on the rise to global takeover.

The truth is that I wasn’t born in Canada, I don’t consider their success in the Olympics relevant to my life at all, I feel no ties to the great white north and I don’t watch the fucking Olymics, because they are boring as fuck. The only reason China has the most medals is because they are booming, and don’t want to look bad hosting the shit. They have enough people in the country to recruit athletic 12 year olds and ship them off to concentration camps that turned them into fuckin’ robots in every event. For the last four years they have been on regimented diets and work out programs and training 14 hours a day, 7 days a week like they were in fuckin prison and they were told before the games if they don’t win, they get executed so they pretty much have no fucking choice.

And I have no choice but to post my links so here they is, there are a ton, but all are good and it’s the weekend – what the fuck else are you going to do….


Brooke Hogan Flashing Her Ass By Turning Her Bikini Into a Thong VIdeo
GO

Some Girl Climbs into a Toy Machine
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Lookin’ Like The Hottest Bitch in a Mesh Top I Have Ever Seen Sweetheart
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Traci Bingham Showing Off her Greasy Fuckin’ Tits
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Soccer Ball Smacks Down Cheerleader
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Why Hello Mellissa Statta
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Lindsay Lohan May Not BE Gay Anymore, In Fact She Never Was
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Eva Longoria Pokies
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The 10 Hottest Women’s Prison Topless Scenes…
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Some British Model Named Alice Gets Naked and In Her Underwear for the Assholes at Vice
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The Hottest Celebs That Have Been Dumped:
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Hollywood’s Craziest Exs:
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Video of American Apparel Sluts Playing With Super Soakers…..in American Apparel Bikinis and Leotards….
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Ashlee Simpson’s Big Ol’ Mom Tits Hanging With Her Busted Up Mom Face
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Sex Position or Yoga Position?
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The Only Way to Spend Your Weekend
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Reporter Shot on Live Tv – Video
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Ass Tastic
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Nothing Wrong With a Little Phone Sex. In Public
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Adriana Lima Action
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Tommy Lee’s New Haggard Pussy
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Hotel Receptionist Fucks With Some Old Guy
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Dirty Whore Cat Fight
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Get Laid This Weekend
GO GO

Some Trailer for a Surf Movie That Looks Amazing
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the Bubba Hog Dance Off
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Cassidy Strips Down
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Swedish Olympian Sara Boberg’s Leaked Amateur Nudes
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DMX is a Model Citizen
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Remember That Shitty Song By Alanis Morrisette Called You OUghta Know?
Well It’s About Uncle Joey, From FULL HOUSE
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Make Getting Sex Easier Than Ever
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Sorry Rachel McAdams, You Are Not Hot
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Kim Kardashian Covers Her Fat Tits For Once
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Monica Vesela Hotness
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Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson Continue to Spread Their Disease Around the World
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Your Friday Striptease
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Collection of Stripper pole Mishaps
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Soem Fucked Up Japanese Sex Show Wrestling I Don’t Know What the Fuck
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Remembering Athens 2004
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Andi Valentino is Delicious
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Bob Saget Melt Down Whic is Fake, But Amazing
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Very Clever Jessica Simpson
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Magda Gomez = Boners
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Us Tax Dollars Flow Into The Army For a JOb Well Done
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Motorcycle Death Wishes
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Sharing is Caring!
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German Olympians Do Playboy
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Beat the Stuffed Animal Crane Game
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Some Sluts in Bikinis for Some Miami Commercial
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Move Over Dina Lohan, There’s a New Mother of the Year and I Like Her Way of Thinking….
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Sarah Boberg is a Topless Crossbow Olympian
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FORMER WWE DIVA (AND BELLA MODELS ESCORT) ASHLEY MASSARO NOW APPEARING AT A STRIP CLUB!
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This Cop Was a Hooker on the Side
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Amber Lee is the Obama Girl and Here She Is in a Short Skirt….Lookin Worth a Round….
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Kate Hudson is Boring and Flat Chested on the Beach
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Michael Phelps Hangin’ With Some Sluts…..
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What if Your Wife was a Pornstar
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Watch an Angry Old Man Who Can’t Take a Joke
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Felicity Huffman Wore Madonna’s Dirty Panties
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The Max Payne Movie is Going to be the Biggest Piece of Shit Ever
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Reporter Gets Taken Out By a Huge Ball
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Jenna Fischer in Walk Hard Sex Scene
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Miami Sluts in Metalic Bathing Suits Drunk and Slutty
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Find The Best Porn, Period
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

15

Aug

Autumn Reeser in a Bikini for Maxim of the Day

Autumn Reeser was on The O.C. She played someone named Taylor. I used to watch the OC because I had a shitty TV that got that channel for free using a shitty antenna that I made out of a coat hanger I was saving to use on my wife if ever she got pregnant before realizing I didn’t need it anymore because I found out I had fertility issues. I was also going to a college bar every thursday because it was 2 dollar beers at a time when I could afford to get wasted with college kids on 2 dollar beers.. It turned out that the first couple of weeks were awkward, because the girls just saw an old, messy, drunk guy raining on their parade like Lil Wayne Rain’s on the Hoes, all because I didn’t have anything to talk about with them other than their hot perky college tits in hopes of getting invited back to their dorms to watch them experiment with sex and drugs like the shit I’ve read / seen college girls do on the internet. I realized that watching the OC, that aired earlier that night, was a key “in” because they all watched it earlier that night and were hooked and would get excited when shit was brought up, leading to me being accepted in their circle so I made a point of staying on top of the shit and never got to watch them experiment with sex and drugs, but didn’t get beat up by asshole jocks when asking their girl’s dirty questions because I was in. Either way, I don’t remember this girl on the show, must have been after my time, but I do remember Rachel Bilson…..

Speaking of Rachel Bilson, I messaged some random girl on Facebook who’s last name was Bilson and this was our conversation…..

Jesus Martinez
with a name like Bilson, you should be related to Rachel Bilson, otherwise you should change your name, because there’s no real point in having it…..

Rachel Bilson’s Cousin
i am related to her….

Jesus Martinez
are you her second cousin? cuz if you are you can gay marry her.

Rachel Bilson’s Cousin
haha
she is my cousin

Jesus Martinez
Have you ever seen her naked?

Jesus Martinez
You know even as little kids playing in the lake or having bath’s togehter?

Jesus Martinez
What are the chances of you getting me a couple nude pics of her?

Jesus Martinez
Not very likely right?

Jesus Martinez
Like I shouldn’t start writing up a post announcing I have exclusive pics of her right?

Jesus Martinez
There must be something she did to piss you off over the years, maybe you resent her success and wish you were the star in the family….

Jesus Martinez
wouldn’t this be the best way to give her what she deserves….

Jesus Martinez
I guess you’re not into the idea…..

Jesus Martinez
Hello?

That’s when I gave up, I guess we’re no longer friends and that short moment we spent together on the internet, that made me one person away from Rachel Bilson, is one I will hold close to my heart forever.

Here’s Automn Reeser and her Firey hair that her literal parents named her after in her bikini for Maxim, even though it’s my second Maxim post of the day and fuckers aren’t even paying me for this shit, but I am hoping I encourage people to not buy any of their magazines because you can find all the goods here instead of there., it is my attempt to ruin them because I just resent everyone who makes more money than me, which is pretty much everyone.

Here’s a creepy video called Taylor and Ryan – Forever Love – That Made me Laugh….Because Someone Was Creepy/Lame Enough to Waste Their TIme Doing This….

Posted in:autumn reeser|Bikini|Maxim

2008

15

Aug

Miss Great Britian 1996 in a Bikini of the Day

Her name is Liz Fuller, I’ve never heard of her, you probably have because you have been following the Miss World pageant your entire life, not because you are a pervert who likes watching girls from every country in the world share one stage as they prance around in their bikinis, but because it was always your dream to be a crowned at a beauty pageant and found it unfair that they wouldn’t let you, just because you have a penis, but every chance you get you put on your mom’s wedding dress, throw on a tiara and a walk around the room, when one of your stuffed animals hosting the event crowns you Miss Universe, you scream with joy and cry while doing a final speech and and walk around the room before your dad walks in on you and yells at you to man the fuck up because boys aren’t supposed to wanna be Miss Universe, they are suposed to fuck them.

Either way, she’s old and she proves that in her bikini selection, because he’s what you see mom’s on the beach wearing to hide their gunts from having one too many kids, even though they only had one kid, if you know what I mean. I feel like this post was like a scenic drive through the glorious mountains inside my brain that are getting deforestationed from all the hard drinkin…..glad you’ve come along for the ride….

Posted in:1996|Bikini|Liz Fuller|Miss Great Britain

2008

15

Aug

Anna Kournikova’s Ass for Maxim of the Day

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

Here’s Anna Kournikova, one of the better things that has come out of the Soviet since the Cold War. Sometimes I feel like I live in a communist Russia. I have a shitty one room apartment that is more dingy than my whore wife’s period panties that were once white and now, 6 years later, are a weird blue color. I have rationed bread and toilet paper because my wife beats me to the shit, and we don’t have money to buy more. I have no spending money and last week, my wife makes me wear grey prison uniform when I am in the house because I had no clothes and she found it at the vintage store and thought it would be funny.

Today I went to make myself some instant coffee because I am poor and spent 2 weeks worth of spending money last night alone and can’t afford my Starbucks now that my free hook-up decided to move up the corporate ladder and took a job over at a Subway. As I was pouring the boiling water in a glass cup because we don’t have coffee mugs, not even the paper ones I stole from the AA meeting I forgot to write about last week, that turned out to be a depressing party, and the fucking thing just exploded in my hand, like I can’t even make a fucking coffee without God trying to kill me with broken glass and boiling water….

I don’t really know where I am going with this, but here are some pics of Anna Kournikova lookin’ hot in Maxim.

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

Posted in:Anna Kournikova|Ass|Maxim

2008

15

Aug

Selma Blair Bikini Picture of the Day

I am fucking hurting today, I woke up surprised to be alive because last night was seriously fucking abusive on myself, just look at my stepLINKS post written at 6 am while fuckin’ destroyed, but it turns out that my fast beating heart, dizziness, shakes, pains and memories of stupidities from last night aren’t as hurting as my computer that wouldn’t let me access the blog all day and it turns out that my computer having AIDS, randomly shutting off, crashing and overall sucking dick is not as hurting as Selma Blair in a bikini. In all fairness this is her first job in a long time, she’s almost 40 and she’s supposed to be dumpy lookin’ in this role. I’d still fuck her like the pillow case full of mash potatoes she looks like she’d feel like…

That’s the first post of the day. I hope you liked it.

Posted in:Bikini|Selma Blair

2008

15

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

I drank too much tonight but have to post this shit – so I won’ t talk about the 15 year old gymnastic giril i met or the cashier from Sierra Leonne who had da burned hand and a lot of attitude. Instead I wlll post my links. Cuddles


Tom Cruise is Going to Send Lord Xenu After Angelina Jolie
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Reporter Rollover
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Katie Price Has Big Fucking Trout Lips, And I’m Not Talking About Her Vagina
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Sophia Bush Pussy
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Big Foot Exists- Pictures To Prove It
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Top 10 Celebrity Lips
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Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
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I Can’t Get Enough of the Retarded Police Man
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HOly Shit!! Julia Childs Was a SPY!!!
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Keri Russel Pokies
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Topless Babes – Your Guess as to Who They Are is as Good as Mine
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Longboard Wipeout!
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Girls Who Know How to Get the Job Done
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Olympic Karaoke
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Blindfolded Blonde
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Photoshop Alert!! There’s No Way Jennifer Love Hewitt Got Rid of her Ass THAT Fast!
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Bianca Gasciogne Gallery
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Asian Schoolgirl Catfight
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Teen Lesbian Pool Party
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Some Big Ol’ Tits From The Land of the Rising Sun
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People Magazine got Ripped the Fuck Off
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Did We Not Say Everything We Needed to Say With Maid in Manhatten the First Time Around?
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Rumer Willis Tries to Convince the Worl that She Has Talent, and Isn’t Just Another Rich, Spoiled Hollywood Brat.
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Jennifer Aniston is a Whore
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Striptease of the Day
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Lidsay Lohan Says Her Sister’s Tits Are NOt Implants, Which Basically Means They Are
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Now THIS is the Type of Olympic Shit I Wanna See
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The Top Ten Gayest Action Movies Ever
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Some Butch Rips 21 Phonebooks in Half in Under Four Minutes
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Alexandra Ivy is Your Redhead Fantasy
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toddler Tossing ia Amazing
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The Scariest Pussy I Have Ever Seen in My Life, Next to My Wifes
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Xara Diaz = Boners
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Jaslyne Gonzalez Needs to Gain Some Fucking Weight
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Who Knew Old School Italian Movies Were So Amazing?
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Pornstar Tera Patrick in Some Magazine Looking Porn Star-Ish
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Jennifer Hudson is Looking Good
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Anastasia Angel is the Hotess
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Why is FHM a Million Times Better in Other Countries?
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Some Chinese Water Technology That I Can’t Really Wrap My Head Around
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Jacqueline Doyle is Tasty
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Make Homemade Plasma
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Posted in:Uncategorized