I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

09

Jul

Angelina Jolie is an Unwilling Spokesperson of the Day

Someone took this picture of some ghetto Chinese imported weight loss product that you probably get Cancer when you take, explaining your suddenly attractive new figure as you rot away from the inside out, only to take a bloody shit filled with your organs to really know it’s working. It’s one of those feel the burn situations that is all in the name of beauty. The reason I am posting it is because Angelina Jolie is photoshopped onto their packaging, like she was actually paid the retarded money she commands for this kind of spokesperson shit, but by lookin’ at the funny packaging that is written better than anything on this site, you know that she wasn’t.

My local stripclub that uses a picture of Adriana Lima on all it’s ads and lap dance menus, which makes sense because I hear getting naked is the only way out of Brazil and after enough drinks, the haggard low budget strippers who work there will start lookin’ like her. I guess it’s all the power of marketing, but I know that shit’s also unauthorized and ripping off celebrities gives is more satisfying than dropping 50 dollars to grab a pair of saggy tits.

Posted in:Angelina Jolie|Unwilling Spokesperson

2008

09

Jul

Cindy Brady Pukes from a Hangover in a Radio Interview of the Day

Here is a funny video that you can probably relate to of the actress who played Cindy Brady hungover during some morning radio show where she excuses herself to go puke, all in front of her 10 year old son. When asked why she did this, she said that she drank too much wine the night before, that she isn’t a drinking and that if she didn’t excuse herself, she would have puked all over the radio hosts faces, something that may turn on my 1 Asian friend who I recruited at a Chinese restaurant because he started talking to me about how amazing of an eater my wife was. I am hungover everyday, the only time I puked was after drinking a bottle of Triple Sec or some other obscure drink you aren’t supposed to drink, but do because you are an alcoholic and it’s the only thing around. I don’t frown on hangovers or drinkers and think Cindy Brady, despite not really being around anymore, is my kind of star. Today, I feel a lot less guilty about jerking off to her braces filled mouth while watching Very Brady reruns.

Posted in:Cindy Brady|Hangover|Pukes

2008

09

Jul

Nadal’s Girlfriend Named Xisca Rocks a White Bikini of the Day

Nadal just won Wimbeldon, that probably means he made a lot of money for a week’s work and here he is relaxing with his Spanish girlfriend named Xisca, something you probably can’t pronounce because it’s too foreign to you. The truth is that landing hot pussy when you’re this dude is probably not all that challenging, and instead of looking at him in envy, like you’re some kind of loser, you should take a moment to give the heroes in your life some credit for the shit they’ve accomplished.

The most recent hero in my life is my neighbor. No, he didn’t kill my wife. He did however fuck the system and hasn’t had electiricity for the last 6 months because dude’s a fucking hurtbag. Tonight, I walked in only to find an extension cord running form the hallway outlet and despite it taking him 6 months to figure out, I thought it was a good fucking strategy to save a couple of dollars. The real impressing thing in all this is that he still manages to bring home hot fuckin’ pussy when he’s wasted and despite walking into a pitch black shit hole of an apartment, they still end up fucking him. I guess they feel like they are camping or have that help a guy while he’s down mentality that every girl I’ve ever slept with also had, but the point of all this is to say that if you’re fucking broke and still getting laid, you’re someone who deserves more love than some light on his feet tennis player.

Posted in:Nadal|White Bikini|Xisca

2008

09

Jul

Alicia Keys and Her Thick Legs of the Day

My wife told me i am getting fat and that when I walk, my tits bounced. I asked her if she’s looked in the mirror over the last 5 years, because she’s so fucking fat, she’s got tits growing on the back of her fuckin’ knees. She then told me that she was at a friend’s house watching Oprah and they said that for every 30 pounds you lose, you gain an inch on your cock. That way when I fuck her, maybe I’ll be able to make it past her labia and she’ll feel something. I told he that her fat herpes ridden pussy is the last thing I want to make it into and that I am going to go out and try to gain another 60 pounds so that I don’t even have a penis anymore because that’s what she fucking does to me, she started to cry, but not as loud as Alicia Keys’ piano stool, she looks heavy and I assume shit is reinforced, otherwise it’d be trying to kill itself by breaking in half. Here are some pics of her thick legs performing recently because you’ll take what you can get.

Posted in:Alicia Keys|Fat Legs

2008

09

Jul

I Have No Idea Who Loui Batley is But She Is in a Bikini of the Day

Hollyoaks is some UK soap opera and Loui Bately is some high school drop out who is on the show. These are some pictures of her in a bikini for some calendar shoot that may be old, but are being posted because they are bikini pics and it’s my only way of dealing with the fact that somehwere out there, girls are out in their bikinis, having a good time and lookin’ good while I sit here waiting to die. That’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Bikini|Loui Batley

2008

09

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

I am not a racist!!! This email proves it….

Hey Drunken Stepfather.

I really like your blog. I’ve been reading it regularly for like a year or something. So I remember when you were posting about how people were emailing you saying that you are racist against black people. But I’m black and I never really thought you were racist. Well now these jews wanna jump on the bandwagon. Don’t they know that the beauty of ur site is that you offend equally? They need to stop. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I don’t think you’re a racist.

So there, I am not a racist, brought to you directly from the horses mouth…..if I was racist, I wouldn’t have posted her email because I’d just be amazed that a non-human learned how to type to me, but instead I respect what she has to say and think she’s very lovely.

Here are my links:

Mariah Carey is Photoshopped Hard in her Bikini for Elle
GO

Guitar Hero Bikini Girl Video
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Jennifer Ellison Topless In Nuts
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The Tara Ried Grossness Tour 2008
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They Can Take Her Unborn Baby – But They Can’t Take Her Nipples
GO

The World’s BEST Boob Jobs
GO

Erik Estrada Got Jumped by a Midget on Camera
GO

Porn Stars That Would Make Movies Better:
GO

10 Dopest Kicks Ever Homies….
GO

100 Celebrities Arrested for Drugs….
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10 Hottest Lingerie Models
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Kate Hudson Sluttin’ It Up On The Tennis Court
GO

Liv Tyler is Topless in Denmark…..
GO

Celine Dion Bathing Suit Pics….
GO

A Couple Having Sex on the Roof
GO

Flavor Flav boned a girl in the bushes at age 6:
GO

Somaya Reece is in the Tub
GO

Freestyle Basketball
GO

Web Sluts That Are as Dependable As Your Mom, Who Is Also a Slut
GO

Prank Call Gone Bad Ends Up Being Hilarious
GO

Find Girls To Fuck, Because Pretending Your Sister is Your Girlfriend is Pretty sick Dude
GO

Victoria’s Secret Backstage Shots
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And That’s Why Girls SHouldn’t Ride Bikes Off of Ramps
GO

Evenging Dress Strippers
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Italy’s Channel 5 Bombshell Newscaster Tit Video Compilation
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Lucy Pinder’s 2009 Calendar is Complete
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Amy Reid Uber Glam NAKED as FUCK
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Name and Number Please
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Lohan Showing Off Her Lesbian Tits
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Paris Hilton Comes Up With the Worst Idea Ever
GO

Porn for Days
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6 Skirts Fighting the Wind at the British Grand Prix
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Some Israeli Model Gets Paparazzi-ed on the Beach in Her Bikini
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STDs on the Rise for Old Folks….
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Kanye West’s Daily Cry Baby Post From His Web Site
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Men’s Suit Ads…with a babe in lingerie being strangled:
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Cold War Cheerleader Showdown
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Day Shift Hooker Alert!
GO

Kate Moss is Single Again
GO

Striptease of the Day
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Get Help Finding Sex Today, Because We All Need a Little Helping Hand, But Not in The Masterbation Type of Way
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A Very Busty Marta
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Guy Falls Through Hole on a Bridge
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More of How to Make a Girl Cum
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A Drunk Redneck Beatdown is the Best Type of Beatdown There Is
GO

The Yankees Are Better Than You
GO

How To Lose a Baseball Contract in One Easy Step
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Miss Ghetto of the Year
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Beatrice Borromeo Bikini Pictures From Tuscany!
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Corey Haim is Still All Sorts of Fucked Up
GO

Cynthia Rodriguez Knows How To Play
GO

Shyla Jennings Dances on Webcam
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Italian Babe Monica Bellucci Does Elle France
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Michael Vick is Back in the News
GO

Extreme Prank from Venezuelan TV
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British Toddlers Are Racist
GO

Zlex Rodriguez Loves Strippers, So I Guess We Have that in Common
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Keeley Hazell is Naked in French Maxim
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Playboy Babe – Laura Croft
GO

Why Computers Were Invented
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Spycam Bathroom Fun
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Big Boobs Give You the Best Point of View
GO

Hack Digital Pics and Send Secret Messages
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

08

Jul

Amy Winehouse Shows Some Bush of the Day

Everyone gives Amy Winehouse a hard time about having disgusting teeth, disgusting hair and pretty much disgusting everything. They think she doesn’t wash, they think she’s just given up, but when lookin’ at these pictures of her bush slowly growing in, it looks like something that’s barely been neglected for that long. I know bitches who are hairier than this who wax once a week and I know bitches who never shave or wax and look like they have a pillow in their panties, a very crusty, smelly pillow, but a pillow none the less. The point is that this skinny, dying, walking corpse’s pubic hair is a serious turn on, especially in a world where bush is pretty much going extinct because girls claim they don’t like how it feels but in reality think that guys hate bush and are just trying to please us, when guys would really fuck anything thrown there way, and sometimes even pay for it from bitches on street corners who look like Winehouse. I am in love.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bush

2008

08

Jul

Jaime Pressly and her Black Bikini of the Day

Jaime Pressly is a hot mom out in a bikini. Sure she looks like she’s had a ton of plastic surgery, but I am all for people trying to better themselves by hiring a surgeon to play God on their faces. I am not one of those people who is out lookin’ for natural beauty, sure I hate fake tits, but I just like lookin’ at skinny chicks, even if they have faces that look like they crawled out of the septic tank, or an eating disorder, but that’s just because I’ve been so absorbed in obesity all these years that I am earning to rub my balls against a hot pertruding rib cage and spine on the back of a girl so hungry she can’t resist my sexiness.

Posted in:Bikini|Jaime Pressly

2008

08

Jul

Victoria Silvstedt Isn’t Topless in a Bikini in St Tropez of the Day

Here are some pictures of slut Victoria Silvstedt in a bikini again. I know I get repetitive about this whore being a whore and that’s only because she tried to take me down with a lawsuit when I posted pics of her getting eaten out by some married Greek midget billionaire. I don’t have the pictures up anymore, and usually I don’t get mad when girls attack, I figure it’s their weird way of flirting with me and I always try to reverse it so that I end up being the Mexican broke ass midget eating her out in the next set of pics that hit, but it never really works out like that.

I wasn’t going to go up against her, since her pockets are a lot deeper than mine and that is a huge part of my depression. All I needed to make this life a better was to be born a skinny blonde chick with fake tits who everyone wants to fuck, not only would I be able to afford a TV, but I’d also be able to go around suing random people to keep me entertained in my dull, useless, silicone filled life.

Posted in:Bikini|St. Tropez|Victoria Silvstedt

2008

08

Jul

Tara Reid’s Weird Stomach in a Bikini of the Day

Party girl Tara Reid was out in a bikini with some gay dude who I have seen in other pictures of her. He is latching the fuck onto her as hard as he can because he wants to get some exposure and figures that since Tara Reid is slowly fading away and too drunk to realize who she is hanging out with, it’s a great stepping stone that may lead to bigger or better things, and that even if it doesn’t will land him on TMZ and other celebrity blogs, which is a big deal to an attention craving gay dude and that’s why he did his hair for the occassion.

I tried the same strategy to make myself famous in the past, because I figure famous dudes get hot pussy, make good money and can sit by the pool all day while the rest of the world works their 9 to 5 grind to pay for their kids Nintendo Wii, but the closest thing to Tara Reid fame that was accessible for me to entourage was this really colorful homeless dude, who dresses like a clown and does juggling tricks while rapping and dancing. It didn’t get me much exposure, but I did smoke crack for the first time and that’s almost better than being famous, except for maybe the realization you can’t afford another hit….

Either way, Tara Reid’s stomach has Aids.

BONUS – It Looks Like People Still Think Tara Reid is Relevant Enough to Ask for Autographs on Out Dated Sexy Pics of Her, That Must Really Boost Her Self Esteem….

Posted in:Bikini|Tara Reid