I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

24

Jun

Cheryl Tweey Cole in her Animal Print Bathing Suit of the Day

I read somewhere that Cheryl Tweedy Cole is trying to save her marriage and in doing that she’s decided to go on vacation with her husband to re-connect which basically means spend a couple days together fucking. I figure that since this bitch’s life is a vacation since she barely works and married a rich athlete and since she’s been spotted by the pool in her bathing suit so many fucking times in the last 2 years, that running off to the pool won’t do much for them.

I guess what it comes down to is that when the novelty of the big dick and dreams of being with a rap superstar wear off, they are just two people from the opposite sides of the tracks and I don’t know who they were trying to fool in this union, I knew it was only a matter of time before racism would prevail and their little fairytail union would fall apart and now no white dude’s going to want to get a piece because she’s damaged goods. Interracial relationships just don’t work, White Power.

Posted in:Bikini|Cheryl Tweedy Cole

2008

24

Jun

Orlando Bloom’s Naked Ass of the Day

Here are some pictures of Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom on a vacation tanning naked as they are supposed to. The highlight of the pictures have to be finally seeing Orlando Bloom’s ass. Dude was so dreamy in Pirates that I’ve just been waiting for this day for the last 5 years. It’s days like today that I want to take off my Crocodile Dundee Hat, put my pet Kangaroo back in his cage, drink a couple of Beers and sing Waltzing Matilda to celebrate Australia because I support all things white trash and Australia was pretty much built on that shit and deserves some fuckin’ love for their naked exports that are a lot more worthy of love than Vegemite or Steve Irwin.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Miranda Kerr|Naked|Orlando Bloom|Topless

2008

24

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

It is some French person festival in this city today, it is a time for French people to unite and celebrate all things french, like poverty, chain smoking, drinking and having illegitimate children all while hating english people. I decided to go to the frenchest of bars in hopes of finding some willing sluts to come back to my hotel room, and by hotel room I mean the back alley, to see some tits. Instead, I got spat on and got drinks thrown on me because I can’t speak french. I felt like a black in the south, a Jew in the Nazi Germany and despite getting wastede, It wasn’t as amazing a celebration as I thought it would be – but here are my links for you because they are an amazing celebration. Cuddles.


Let’s Watch George Carlin’s “7 Words” Together
GO

The 2 Corey’s Were Most Probably Molested by Michael Jackson
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Trailer for the NEw Joy Division Documentary
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Daisy de la Hoya is…Uhhhh….Hmmmm Could be a Whore But is Probably a Man
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I Don’t Want to Alarm Anyone Here, But Jennifer Lopez is a Huge Fucking Bitch
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Britney Spears’ Udders Have some Pokies
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The Best Cover of Bob Marley’s Buffalo Soldier EVER!
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The 10 Best Local TV Ads
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The 10 Funniest Moments in Boob Grabbing History
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Kate Hudson and Lance Armstong Public Display of Fucking
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Janet Jackson’s Sexy History:
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Liv Tyler Looking Hot for Once
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Have an Affair at Work the Proper Way
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Slag has Fun on Camera with Her New Toy
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Dancin’ Round the World
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Sluts to Start Your Week Off Right
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Get Laid, It’s The Right Thing to Do
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Garbage Shoot Yeeehaw!!
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Marisa Miller Looks Hot in Black and White
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Now THAT’S How You Steal a Purse!
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Jenny Nickol is a Hot Piece
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Jessica Simpson Would Like to Clear Something
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Amy Winehouse Battling Emphysema from Smokin Too Much Crack
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How Would You Spend 164 Millio Dollars?
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Make Use of your Works Speedy Internet Connection to the FULLEST
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Kelly Rowland Took an HIV Test For Charity. Or Maybe Cause She Thinks She Hads AIDS
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Jennifer Aniston is Holding on to John Mayer for Dear Life
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Photoshop Award of the Day
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Striptease of the Day
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Yana Cova gets busty with her toy
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Getting Sex via a Helping Hand That Isn’t You Own
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Football Sluts Are The Only Good Part of Football
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I Am Never Taking an Elevator Ever Again
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Let’s Live Viacariously….
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And That’s Why You Don’t Have Sex With a Drunk Trick
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Hitler Could Sing, Who Knew?
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Olivia Wilde is Tasty
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Linda Hogan is Dumb As Shit
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Mischa Marton Topless Throwback
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Cali Logan Looks Sexy in Glasses
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Funny Viral Called How To Become a Pornstar That I May Have Already Linked But It’s Funny Enough to Link Again
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Some Pornstar Who Drank A Little Too Much Funniness
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Really Weird Public Sex Video
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Jamie Lynn Spears is a Genius
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Larry Birkhead Wants the Memory of Anna Nicole to Live On via Her Underpants
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Awesome Beatboxer
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Megan Fox is Amazing
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Web Cunts to Make Your Day Better
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Dirty Orientals is the Best Buffet Money Can Buy
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Office Play Makes for Big Fun
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS:

Some Girl Shows Off Her Vagina
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Some Emo Chick Shows Off Her Tits
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Some Girls on Spring Break Flash Their Tits
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BONUS: Club Sluts the Only Way You’ll Ever Get to Experience Them. Loser
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

23

Jun

Rod Stewart Suckin’ Tit of the Day

Rod Stewart doesn’t just suck at making good music, but he also sucks tit. Here’s the little man out with his current blond model wife on their Yacht, because unlike other little men, he didn’t join the circus and became a top of the charts recording artist and made millions upon millions of dollars. With millions upon millions of dollars and a sultry voice and stupid hair and outrageous costumes you can convice models tend to think you’re worth around since they are used to being surrounded by fags and I can only assume that this mini-man is a tripod because it’s really the only way all these models lining up for him makes sense.

Either way, here is Rod Stewart putting on a little performance and overcompensating with the ladies in hopes of convincing us all that he’s not actually a homo by sucking his wife Penny Lancaster’s tit on his yacht, but there’s no foolin’ us, with a name like Rod, it’s kinda of your birthright to become the Queen Gay Lord, in fact there are rumors that Rod invented homosexuality, and that his daughter Kimmy was just something he brought home with him from a night of barebacing at the bathouse. Kinda like Aids, but way more annoying.

Posted in:Rod Stewart|Tit Suckin'

2008

23

Jun

Lisa Rinna Bikini Pics of the Day

I just walked behind an 18 or 19 year old girl who was running her mouth off to her friend about how much she masturbates and how she likes it when her boyfriend cums in her without realizing there were people around her, like most obnoxious motherfuckers who think the world revolves around them and the street is as private as their bedroom since they don’t know the random fuckers around them, but the unfortunate thing about that is that despite not caring about what everyone around them thinks, they don’t bother getting completely naked in public for me to masturbate and cum inside my belly button and they just air their dirty laundry and gossip for all to hear and for no one to care about, and up until today, girls on cell phone conversations never interested me and really just made me want to punch them in their pretty made up faces.

Either way, I hear this cum and masturbate talk coming out of this girl and I start picking up the pace to hear where this is going because it’s likely going to be good and then next thing I know, I’m out of breath because I am a better sitter than walker and she’s turning into McDonald’s and all I can think about how her pussy she speaks so candid about smells like big mac sauce.

The same things run through my head about this Lisa Rinna Bitch as she parades around her plastic face and plastic tits like she’s still on Melrose Place and people actually care, but I have a feeling that she doesn’t have a pussy, she got it sewn up in hopes of being a more true to life representation of Barbie and if she does it smells like Formaldehyde cuz she’s trying to keep shit from wasting away (rotting).

Posted in:Bikini|Lisa Rinna

2008

23

Jun

RIP Motherfucker, The George Carlin Edition of the Day

I don’t know much about George Carlin or his comedy but I do know people think he’s some kind of legend and I am sure it goes without saying that he is substantially funnier than me, at least he was until today because now he’s dead. RIP, Motherfucker.

Posted in:Dead|George Carlin

2008

23

Jun

Cheryl Burke is Dancing With the Stars in a Bikini of the Day

This girl is a pro dancer who has won the fucking lottery and instead of teaching old ladies at an old folk’s home or teaching bratty rich kids at her local dance studio, a fate almost every other professional dancer ends up in, because dreams of working on Broadway or back up dancing for Britney Spears or touring the world with some kind of dance troop are just drems for most dancers because no one really gives a fuck about them enough to warrant a lot of work in that field and only a few actually make more that 10 dollars an hour with a lifetime of dance training under their belt.

But I have always loved dancing or at least girls dancing and it part of the reason I spend so much time at the strippers. You know that those fit bodies would be fat if they weren’t dancing 8 hours a day, but more importantly you can fantasize about how proper they would fuck you. Dancers just move a lot better, are more flexible, have more endurance and can bounce on a dick harder and more gracefully than a chick who hasn’t been practicing sex moves since she was 6, because dancing is like sex, unless you’re having sex with me, in which case it’s more like a horrible nightmare or war movie.

Point being, Cheryl Burke won the last 2 Dancing with the Stars, she works as one of the dancers who dances with the stars and here she is in a bikini showing off that dancing body you’ve probably been jerking off to the last 3 years because you can’t afford porn and turn to ABC for your orgasms like I used to do back in th TGIF heyday.

Posted in:Bikini|Cheryl Bautista Burke

2008

23

Jun

Miranda Kerr Rocks Out at a Fashion Show of the Day

Miranda Kerr is a Model. This is her working. Watching me work is far less interesting, unless of course if you like watching obese topless dude in his wife’s underwear because it fits, sweating, smoking cigars and eating while ash and crumbs cover his body and tears roll down his face because his computer is a piece of shit, but not as big of a piece of shit as his life.

Posted in:Bikini|Miranda Kerr

2008

23

Jun

Katherine Heigl is Still in a Bikini of the Day

I don’t hate fat chicks, I make fat chicks. Over my lifetime, every single girl I have dated has gained weight. They have also managed to muster up the courage to leave me for other dudes after giving up on sex with me, but at least I know that as they try to starve off the weight they gained, that I made a difference in their life.

My wife holds the championship title of weight gain while giving her heart and by heart I mean large list of annoying issues and hangups that managed to surface about 3 months after I entered her life and she felt I was worthy of listening to all her fucking baggage and complaints and has also managed to put on 100 pounds from emotional eating, because I figure you can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves, so to shut her up I just give her pizza.

Point of all this is to say that when I rip into celebrities for being pigs, I don’t mean anything bad from it, sure there’s cellulite and dumpy asses and giving girls the wrong idea that fat can be hot but with cellulite and dumpy ass there is really only hope for hot fat tits and sometimes, fat tits don’t mean really huge nipples that aim to the ground, but usually they do, so girls if you’re out there, starve yourself.

Posted in:Bikini|Katherine Heigl

2008

23

Jun

Lily Allen’s Long Luscious Miscarriage Legs of the Day

I feel bad because I’ve been writing some pretty ripping commentary about Lily Allen’s miscarriage and that brought me happiness over the last few months, because I am a sick motherfucker. Unfortunately, a reader reached out and told me that they worked at the abortion clinic where Lily Allen got her baby sucked out of her and that it wasn’t a miscarriage at all.

at and now I feel bad about making jokes about the baby life wrongfully taken from him. He could have been the next president of something, inventor, Nick Lachey, the possibilities were endless but some selfish cunt decided to take the vaccuum to the motherfucker like some it’s some dust bunny in the corner of the room. Abortion is completely disgusting and unacceptabe and nothing that should be laughed at, just something that should be protested.

Either way, I doubt any of the 5 of you who reads this site work at Celebrity abortion clinics, in fact, I highly doubt you have jobs and stealing change out of your mom’s purse doesn’t count as work no matter how chanllenging it is. But here are some pictures of a stalky Lily Allen rockin’ out and by rockin’ out I mean discreetly giving us the finger like we were the fetus in her womb all while rockin’ her stupid cotton candy hair, cotton candy the baby she murdered won’t ever be able to eat, so Lily Allen’s guilt is making it up to him by only eating cotton candy and other sugar based delicacies, that’s how she stays so tight bodied, and by tight bodied I mean look’s a lot like the dude who played Willow .

Posted in:Lily Allen|Stalky