I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

09

May

stepLINKS of the Day

So I am getting fatter than I have ever been – mainly because I eat badly, drink too much and sit all day, while trying to think of something to write here, my last good pair of underwear just split in half when I stood up and that means that from today onwards, I will not be wearing any underwear. I feel like this is going to be pretty miserable for my couch and family, but it’s not my fauly that obesity has forced me to become a nudist. I feel a lot of shame.

Here are my links…..

Fergie Falls the Fuck Down
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Sophie Howards Tits Go to a Party
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Britney Spears and K-Fed Have Phone Sex
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Behind the Scenes of Becky Rule’s Sexy Photoshoot
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Sometimes, All It Takes Is a Smile
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Angela Marcello is Lookin Fine
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Some Petra Nemcover Sports Illustrated Video
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A Vintage Blonde Pubic Hair Sex Scene
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Phoebe Price Poses With Her Shitty Legged Enquirer Cover Photo
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How To Have Sex in a Parked Car, Because You Only Fuck Street Whores…
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Because It’s Not Really Fucking When It’s a Blow Up Doll
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Natasha Richardson Shows Off Her Old Lady Panties
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Army Girls Worldwide
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Some LA Club Sluts That Will Make You Want to Touch Yourself, If You Aren’t Already
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Whores Galore. That’s a Lot of Whore
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Britney’s Got Some Ratty Assed Hair….
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Catherine Bell by the Sea
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The 10 Hottest Celebrity Striptease Moments
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Vanilla’s Wife Beats Her Up Because He Realized She Married Vanilla Ice and Even He Can’t Deal With That Shit
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Elisha Cuthbert’s Vagina Slip in Her Bikini
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BBC Uses “TITS’ To Get Linked on a Blog
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Juliette Lewis Still Crazy As She Fucks the Stage
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Some Hot Chick from San Diego State University Lookin’ Hot
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Paris Hilton Peddles The Shittiest Products
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Rack to the Future – 9 Sets of Tits You May Have Forgotten
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Baltimore Raven’s Try Outs
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The Wizard of Ass
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Here’s a Pretty Hot Approach to Fashion Sites
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Find Great Porn
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Some Ugly Fuckin’ Girls in Lingerie
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Katherine McPhee is Looking Pretty Okay, Hillary Duff Not So Much
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Marilyn Mansons 13 Year Old Girlfriend Can’t Handle Her Booze
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If She Is Referring to Her Vagina, I Would have Gone With Old and Leathery
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Kate Moss Lingerie Shoot
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What Kind of a Crazy World Would We Be Living In If Every Amateur Shoot Was As Good As This?
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This is For You – Because This Helps You Find Sex the Old Fashioned Way
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A Dude on the Jury Gets Ready for Pot Trial By Getting Busted for Smoking Pot Outside
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Gemma Atkinson Bikini Pics from Cuba
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A Slut Gallery
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Hot Sex Scene in a Spanish Movie
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Veronika Simon is a Slut
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Jaime Pressly is in FHM
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Draino Bomb Goes Bad
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Gianna Lynn is a Hot Slut…
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Hairy Chick Who Likes Masks Naked
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Some Girl’s Perky Tits
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Some Slut in Some Posed Pictures
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Some Ugly Chick Crops Her Face on Sluts
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

08

May

Naomi Millbank-Smith Having an Upskirt of the Day

Here are some pictures of Naomi Millbank-Smith having a standard upskirt moment when getting out of a car. Nobody cares about Naomi Millbank-Smith because she is a reality tv star, which is pretty much the lowest form of celebrity and to make things worse she wasn’t even a reality TV star in the USA and was on some shitty show in another country. So that’s why I decided to write John Tesh an email instead of writing about her. This is what I had to say:

Dear John Tesh,

I have been listening to your radio show for the last couple of weeks because I can’t afford a TV. I have found it to be a great mix of helpful advice and today’s best music and not only does it lift my spirits but I can also use your resourcefulness to better my life.

Since listening to you, I have drank about half the amount of booze I normally do, I have eaten about half the amount of food I normally do and have increased my water intake but you can’t take all the credit for that, my wife cut off the drinking fund she had set up for me because she listens to you too and apparently you don’t advocate hard drinking.

So now that I can’t afford the self-destructive luxuries I want because of your great advice, I feel like you are responsible for this misery. I know you have lots of disposable income and would really love a couple hundred dollars because I feel it will allow me to enjoy your work, without being mad that I am missing American Idol because I will be completely inebriated, instead of wanting to kill myself everytime it comes on as your soothing voice reminds me of how your impact single-handedly took the bottle away from me.

Keep up the good work, you are a legend in the making.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkneStepfather.com

Posted in:Naomi Millbank-Smith|Upskirt

2008

08

May

Diane Kruger Has Hot Legs of the Day

Diane Kruger’s got some motherfuckin’ legs. I don’t know much about her other than the fact that she’s gotta be a model based on these motherfuckin’ legs but I could be wrong, it happens pretty much every day of my life.

I met a really skinny dude the other day, he was pretty much pushing’ 110 pounds because he was dying of Aids and he was lecturing me about how easy it is to pick up girls. He claimed that despite having Aids he gets pussy all the fuckin’ time, I just figured that it was because Aids bitches are easy since they figure everyone would be too fuckin’ scared to sleep with them so when someone willing comes their way they don’t say no, but he claimed that it’s because the weight loss has made his dick look exponentially bigger against his leg. Since he’s just skin and bone, when he gets a boner it’s thicker than his thigh and that optical illusion tricks all the bitches, that’s when he decided to drop his pants in brad daylight in the park to show me his fuckin’ hard on and that’s when I realized that he wasn’t a needle sharing Aids patient but was infact a fucked up the ass Aids patient so I bounced.

I guess I’ll just let you wonder if Diane Kruger’s skinny legs would make your dick look bigger, because wondering from your shitty house is the closest you’ll get.

Posted in:Diane Kruger|Legs

2008

08

May

From the Forum of the Day

So I decided to go on a whore run last night, not because I can afford a whore but because I like watching people at work to remind me of what the concept means. The problem was that I don’t have a car so I was forced to do it on foot and it was raining. The only friend I made was some french squeegee kid who reminded me of something right out of a horror movie but he taught me how to smoke rock, squeegee cars and walk his talk at the same time and it’s that level of multitasking I just can’t find in myself. It’s like the time I found out my friend jerked off everytime he took a shit because it was the only private time he could find in his house and I was both disgusted and amazed by his level of productivity. Because when I shit I am just trying to deal with the pain that comes from bad diet, hard living and hemorroids and when I used to jerk off I used to just deal with trying not to wake my stepdaughters up.

Either way, here’s some shit going on in the forum….

———Music———

Earth Wind and Fire – Box Set
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The Warriors OST
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Bubba Sparxxx – The Charm
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And you will know us by the Trail of the dead
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Foals – Antidotes
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Pearl Jam – Three Fish – The Quiet Table
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Miles Davis – Ascenseur Pour L’Echafaud
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Miles Davis Box Set
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Chris Whitley – Living with the Law
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Rollins Band – End of Silence
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The Black Keys – The Moan
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Tears For Fears – The Hurting
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The Beach Boys – Summer Days
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Duran Duran – Notorious
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Christina Aguilera – Just Be Free
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Michael Lee Firkins – Cactus Cruz
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Andy Taylor – Thunder
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Jazzmatazz Vol.4
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———Celebs———

Kelley Osbourne’s Big Tits
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Katherine Heigl – Photoshoot
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Tara Reid Cleavage Pics
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Lindsay Lohan in Her Panties
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———Comedy Albums———

Mitch Hedburg – Strategic Grill Locations
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Mike Birbiglia – Two Drink Mike
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———Porn———

Random Nudes
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Fervor Feels Herself
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Bad Tattoo, Nice Facial
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Hips and Thongs
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Scarlett Pain
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That is an ASS!
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Nella minus the fist in puss
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———Pics———

Monica Lewinsky’s Boyfriend
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———random joke———

How to Stop A Rape
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———Sex Talk———

When Did you First Start Watching Porn?
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Posted in:Forum

2008

08

May

Olivia Munn Talks About Taking Off Her Panties and Fuckin’ of the Day

I am being lazy today. It happens. I am not inspired from anything going on and I only woke up at noon. That’s the luxury of being an unemployed piece of shit who drinks too fucking much and stays up until all hours of the night trying to find love.

This video came my way from Complex magazine, the same people who featured me as one of the Men of 2008, which hasn’t done much for me but has given me credibilty in the shit that I write so that people send me hate mail, I have that stamp approval to win all arguments and until the person I am battling is man of the year too, I just can’t take them seriously.

Speaking of battling, here’s some video of Olivia Munn beat boxing like she was a brother in the 80s who couldn’t afford a boombox but needed to provide a beat for her rapping friends only she’s doing it 20 years too late. I fuckin’ hate beat boxing with a passion and find it completely unnecessary and on the same level of talent as a 5 year old who can burp the alphabet or my wife who can make fart sounds with her bare sticky back when she suctions it up against the wall.

Either way, she’s talking about panties and fucking and smelly pussy and that’s every virgin loser who likes comics, videogames and masturbating’s dream.

Go to Complex.com to Find Other Hot Videos

Posted in:Olivia Munn|Video

2008

08

May

Eva Mendes is Hot and Topless in Vogue of the Day



Eva Mendes did some hot photoshoot for some European Vogue and it reminds me of all the vintage porn I used to jerk off to because there was just something amazing about getting down to a woman in frilly lingerie in the 1950s while knowin’ she was either pissin’ herself in an old folks home, knitting a scarf for her church group or was dead, all while I came all over myself to her pics…

Posted in:Eva Mendes|Nipples|Vogue

2008

08

May

Stephanie Seymour’s Got a See Through Dress and Pasties of the Day

If you’ve been wondering where Stephanie Seymour has been since she broke up Guns N’ Roses in the 90s, I can assume not very much, but then again I have no fuckin’ idea and I am only basing it ont he fact that she showed up to an event in a see-through shirt with pasties on. It’s like she’s toying with the idea of getting noticed again but she’s being a bit of a pussy about it and hasn’t really gone all the way with showin’ her nipples. I kinda find the whole thing weird, considering models are always naked and are usually comfortable with the world seein’ their tits, but I guess she’s not as confident in her body as she was now that she’s 40 but that’s just because of the much needed societal impact that tells old bitches that they sure aren’t what they used to be as their husbands run after younger pussy and repeatedly turn down sex from them because they aren’t the girl they married. I’d still do her, but that’s just because even at 40 she’s hotter than anything I’ve ever given it to, but then again I am not society and society tells her to put some fuckin’ clothes on because she’s a fuckin’ Mom.

Posted in:Pasties|See Through|Stephanie Seymour

2008

08

May

Elisha Cuthbert’s in a Bikini Again of the Day

Here’s Elisha Cuthberty and her dumpy ass still on the beach, only today they decided to do fun activities like Sea Kayaking. I know that getting away to a sunny paradise is something you want to take full advantage of but when your a fresh new awkward lookin’ couple, I think it should be spent exporing each other’s bodies, figuring out what each other like sexually and most importantly fuckin’ like crazy people, because from my experience the best sex I’ve had has come from the mentally and emotionally unstable.

This one time, this schizophrenic chick drank on her meds when she wasn’t supposed to and it lead to her pretty much raping me and begging me to have a threesome, I was totally down until I realized that the other person involved was her alterego who was a 45 year old Jewish Accountant demanding me to give him my recipts, I still did it cuz I was in a vagina but I questioned my sexuality for about a week.

I guess none of that matters, what does matter is that Cuthbert is wearing her American pride bikini to get popularity votes by supporting your troops in Iraq while her hockey player supports her tits in his mouth as the dance around on the beach like a couple of fags.

Posted in:Bikini|Elisha Cuthbert

2008

07

May

stepLINKS of the Day

So I got this email:

You really are a sad excuse for a man.

Go back to pedaling the photos that others take and dressing it all up as if you do something more than that.

You are nothing, and in your heart of hearts, must know, that you never will be.

I wrote back:

Mom, is that you? I thought you died of AIDS in the 80s! This is fabulous news. We need to contact Oprah to get her to finance our majestic reunion. I have an old box of Mother’s Day cards that I can’t wait to give you. I have been saving them for all these years in case a miracle like this was ever to happen, but truthfully, I was convinced it never would, but that hope kept me going through all the hard times.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Here are my links:

Some Drunk Fake Tits Out in LA
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The Hottest Smelling Pussy Running Around the Forest In Panties and a Halter Top
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Geri Halliwell’s Nipples Are Hard When Shopping
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Old Alyssa Milano Naked Pics for All the Who’s the Boss Fans….
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Disgusting Dude Made of Rubber Shows Off His Grossness
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Uma Thurman Upskirt!!
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Fetal Scooby Doo
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The Top 50 Universities Ranked By How Hot the Pussy Is
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Josie Maran Sports Illustrated Photoshoot
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April Scott Shows Off for the Camera
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How Hide Your Porn From Your Your Mom!!
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Web Cam Goodness Cuz These Sluts Listen to Commands
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stepTV Interview a Crackhead
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The UCLA Underwear Run!
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A Porn Collection so Big, There’s No Way It Will Fit Under Your Bed
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99 Words for Boobs Video
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Spencer Fucks Heidi Montag Up The Ass Because That’s How You Fuck Horses….
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Jessica Simpson is a Serious Movie Actress. Seriously
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Dina Lohan is Mother of the Year. No, Really…
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Miranda Kerr Has Got Some Legs!
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Pam Anderson Sold HEr Used Panties at a Garage Sale, And If That Doesn’t Define Class, I Don’t Know What Does
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Denise Milani Has A Crazy Body
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Lindsay Lohan in Little Boy Shorts
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Shot By Kern Talks To Some Sex Addicted Slut Who Poses Naked With Used Condoms And is From a Religious Family…Part 1
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Shot By Kern Talks To Some Sex Addicted Slut Who Poses Naked With Used Condoms….Part 2
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Top 10 Geekiest South Park References
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Japanese Idol Girl – Yuriko Shiratori in Her Underwear
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Some Angry Porn Slut
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A Whole Lot of Twisted Online Videos
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Top 10 Celebrity Cheerleaders
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One of My Facebook Friends Sent Me This Stripping Down To Her Lingerie While Video
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Some Mom From Houston Wants Bigger Tits But Them Shits Are Already Too Big For Texas Law So She’s Goin’ To Brazil
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Some Girl Gets Her Nipples Pierced
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Streaker Tiffany May’s Playboy Pictures
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Some Stupid Products from Harriet Carter
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Christina Aguilera is Drunk
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Extreme Ironing is Weird as Fuck
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Some Girl Rollerblading Down a Hill Can’t Find the Breaks
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Some of the Best Ads By Playboy
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A Little Zero Gravity Puke Video
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Some Weird But Sexy Music Video
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Striptease on a Boat
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Is It Me, or is Star “Jaba the Hut” Jones Gaining Some of that Weight Back?
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Gabi Has Some Alone Time
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Body Builder Cam Girl
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Because You Need a Little Helping Hand That’s Not Your Own
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2 nasty woman strip down and brawl on the Jerry Spring Show
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Miss World Has an Accident
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Marisa Miller in a Hot Magazine Spread
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Sue Johanson is Retiring from Letting Young Girls Know It’s Okay to be Sluts, and I Am Sad Because Now I have Nothing to Jerk Off To….
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Check Out These Real Girls
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Bailey Is a Slut Who Gets Naked
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Christina’s Pregnant Tits Are Pretty Much Gone
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Audrey Tatou is Better Than Nicole Kidman
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Bird Attacks Dog, and It’s Actually Pretty Awesome
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Baby Wants His Bottle
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An Awesome 80’s PSA Designed To Run Before Porn Videos
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Tiffany May is Famous For All The Right Reasons
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There’s a New Set of Twins Hitting the Scene So Move The Fuck Over Ashley and Mary-Kate…
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The Empire Strikes Barack
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ROGUE COLLECTOR PROVES PHOTOBUCKET IS A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR PORN SITE

Some Girl and Her Black and White Boobs and Panties – She Has a Tattoo So She Must be 18
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Some Nasty Girl…Her Nasty Tits…and…Her Nasty Vagina
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Naked in the Shower
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Indian Porn – Dot Not Feather
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BONUS – Canadian – Kardinal Offishall – Dangerous Feat. Akon – Fresh New Video

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

07

May

Kim Kardashian and Her Cellulite Treatment of the Day

So we have all agreed that Kim Kardashian is a fat lazy bitch who just happens to have a flat stomach making the average person think she’s not a fat lazy bitch but something vuluptuous and desireable, which is almost understandable having been to Plattsburgh, New York for some discount shopping with my wife a while ago and realizing that her fat ass felt at home there because she was thinner than the bitches we ran into at Taco Bell. Unfortunately, my bed doesn’t feel the same way after years of suffering under her obesity.

Either way, being the whore that Kim Kardashian is she decided to get Cellulite Laser treatment on her fat lazy ass because Paris Hilton made fun of her and made her realize that she’s a fuckin’ pig while everyone else was stroking her ego. It always takes a catty jealous bitch to put a girl who thinks she’s better than she actually is in line. The laser treatment was a pretty good fuckin’ solution for her because she didn’t have to get off her fat lazy ass or stop shoveling her fat lazy hand that is clearly not too fat or too lazy to reach her fat lazy mouth. Now she’s out pimping this shit because they are either paying her or giving her free treatments and that’s just the kind of tradeoff whores like. I wouldn’t expect much more from this cunt because we are talking about a girl who made 5,000,000 dollars and launced a fat lazy career off a fuckin’ sex tape here.


To Read Her Post on Her Cellulite and See Her Erotic Calendar for Her Boyfriend Cuz She’s a Slut
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Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian