I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

08

Apr

Kim Kardashian is Built Like the Sears Catalog of the Day

Kim Kardashian looks like a mom posing in cheap fat lady jeans with her downs syndrome toddler sitting on his bike in some staged backyard scene in the Sears Catalog. I am guessing that Bongo Jeans has just launched a big and tall collection to fit this pig and she’s the spokesperson for it because she’s a fat chick people seem to be able to stomach. But I could be wrong, it happens pretty much every fucking day.

I do know that Kim Kardashian is not as hot as she thinks she is and whatever emotional eating disorder she has is catching up with her and it won’t be long before she’s the kind of fat bitch in today’s stepTV clip who doesn’t realize she’s fat as she eats her double Big Mac combo as her stretch marked love handles hang over her thong that is too small for her and is cutting off the circulation to her feet or some shit while wearing some kind of halter top with her fat tits hangin out the top….. I guess it doens’t matter…..what does matter is how crazy people with self esteem are, it’s some serious fucking delusion that makes no fucking sense to me because I look at her and see all those late night cookie dough snacks adding up, and I’m not talking about her black boyfriend’s dick mangling the condition of her pussy, but she looks at herself and thinks she’s some kind of sex symbol….there’s a major disconnect that usually all comes together when enough people tell the bitch she’s disgusting…it’s the whole core of eating disorders and I am talking the good kind not the fat girl who was molested and eating soothes her pain kind.

Bonus: Her sister having some kind of upskirt moment with a monster.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

08

Apr

Miley Cyrus in Her Cat Suit of the Day

I am from the school of thought that thinks if a girl dresses like a slut she is askin’ for it. I am also from the school of thought that if you get turned on by this 15 year old piece of shit, you’re not a pedophile, you’re just have bad taste.

If Miley was a wholesome little Jesus loving girl like she pretends to be, she wouldn’t be wearing a fuckin’ cat suit that’s tighter than her vagina was before letting the Jonas Brothers gang bang her on tour….I guess the real entertaining thing about these pictures is that her vagina looks like it’s stickin’ it’s tongue out at you, mocking you because it knows that you will never being able to get up in it, despite how badly you want to, because you are gay.

I find her a broken down spoiled brat with bad teeth and no tits. Let’s hope for her sake puberty kicks in soon enough so that next time she tries to pretend to be a big girl in big girl clothes that she stole from Billy Ray’s slut wife’s sex drawer, she’ll be able to fill it out proper. Either way, I live in Canada, 14 is legal and despite how sick that sounds, it makes talking about a 15 year old’s vagina a non issue, it also makes fuckin’ it a non issue, so she’s 2 years older than jailbait here and even if I wouldn’t touch that shit with my Billy Ray Cyrus CD, I can talk about it and there’s really not much you can do about it. Asshole.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

08

Apr

American Beauty Queens of the Day

I am not a racist, I am not going to say that any part of the song is appropriate for the video. I am going to say that some people have some pretty sick fetishes and when I look at scantily clad fat chicks, no matter what their ethnic background is, I feel like someone down the line has given them some bad advice. Those people are usually perverts who can’t get pussy or weirdos who had fat moms and think that’s how women are supposed to look and make them feel good about being pigs, but all I want to do is lock my fuckin’ fridge to the ground or some shit, for fear that these pigs won’t take the time to open it to see what’s inside and just down the whole fuckin’ thing whole and when that’s done, they’ll move to the couch and eat that too. On their way down the street for their after meal walk, they’ll swallow every chick that crosses their path and still have room for desert. These bitches are fatter than Perez, but then again so am I and so is my wife, and you don’t see me walking around showing off my balls, even though I should….

I guess none of this matters and that I am still drunk, but know that whatever the fuck’s going on in this video, it’s fuckin’ wrong except for maybe their huge tits, but that’s just because I know how to focus my attention to what’s really important and that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Black|Obesity|Sluts|stepTV

2008

08

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I am going to admit I wasn’t really around all that much today because it was my birthday and I convinced one of my friends to take me out to lunch and another to take me out for dinner and by dinner I mean to a stripclub with a free buffet. I just got back, I am another year older and a whole lot drunker and don’t remember much about the lap dances I had. I know it’s hard to be ballin’ in a bar filled with strippers over the age of 40 and drinks that cost $2 each, but we probably spent 100 dollars each tonight and in case you didn’t know, that is ballin’ to me. I got a disgusting lapdance from some slut with big feet and fat lady mom of 5 tits that I had no problem playing with for the 3 songs I booked her and bitch had the nerve to ask if I had showered today, when I told her it’s been about a week she wasn’t surprised. Then she asked me if I slept in the clothes i was wearing and offered to invite her to find out, but she wasn’t into my lame charm, so I ended up sticking my thumb up her ass, having her scream and being kicked out by the bouncer who didn’t really to seem to care all that much but just had to do his job. I don’t know why I am ranting this shit, I know it doesn’t care, maybe I treat this blog like some kind of pathetic journal a fag in high school keeps because it’s the only thing that doesn’t judge him for craving cock…only without the whole cock wanting part…who knows.

Here are my links…that my stepDaughter helped throw together since it was my special day. Hope she didn’t suck.

Ps. I love you all.

PPS. That’s the alcohol talking….

PPPS. It’s not my birthday anymore.

Carrie Underwood Lookin Decent in Some Gown
GO

I love Brazil
GO

Beauty Competitions Are the ONLY way to Judge a Women
GO

Free Soda for Life!!!
GO

Well, This Just About Somes Up the Kardashian’s TV Show
GO

Jay Nichols Is Wearing Some Topless Party Wear
GO

The Life You Will Never Lead
GO

How to Win a Beauty Contest
GO

We All Need a Little Help Now and Again
GO

The Newest Mess Not to be Missed on Television
GO

Karolina Kurkova Gives Dudes Boners
GO

Virginity ISN’T a Disease It IS Curable!
GO

Sex – It’s Not Just a Solo Act -Use this to Find Girls to FUck – Because Girls Make Sex More Fun
GO

Lauren Conrad Says She’s Single Because She Likes It. I Think It’s Cause She Wears Sweat Pants Everywhere
GO

Ehhhhhh……Lily Allen, WTF?
GO

Jordin Sparks is Lookin’ Good
GO

Disgusting Was Seen Making Out with More Disgusting
GO

In Case You Never Learned This In College…It’s Never Too Late..Shotgun A Beer
GO

JLO Has Officially Damned Her Children Forever
GO

Beat Grand Theft Auto
GO

You’re Monday Porn Fix
GO

A Little Ass Shaking Never Hurt Anyone
GO

Frosty Fuck
GO

London’s Calling…For More Hours in the Day
GO

Charley Uchea is Topless on the Beach
GO

Some Sort of Science Shit I Don’t Understand, But Is Pretty Fucking Cool
GO

A Kardashian Nude Poll
GO

I Can Think of Other Things She Should be Spending Her Money On then Tattoos
GO

The Best Face Plant Ever Caught on Tape
GO

Topless Balance Beam Routine
GO

Jessica Alba is Getting Fatter By the Day
GO

Everybody Hates Shiloh
GO

When Cheetahs Attack
GO

Model Skirt Slip
GO

More Naked Pics of Heather Mills (With and Without Wooden Leg)
GO

Naked Paintball
GO

Hefner Celebrates His Birthday With Hookers
GO

Cristiano Ronaldo Dating Spanish Model Nereida Gallardo
GO

Here are a Whole Lot of Nude Beach Pictures from All OVer the Motherfucker
GO

Woody Harrelson’s Skinny Dipping With His Homies Like a Straight
GO

Listen to One of My Readers Rapping
GO

Choose the Best Pair of Legs
GO

Even the Police in France are Gay
GO

One of the Real Housewives of New York Topless
GO

American Apparel Finally Goes More Porn
GO

Stacy Keibler’s Ex Was Arressted and He’s a Real Looker…
GO

Some Asian Chick Takin Off Her Clothes Video
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Girl Naked on a Chair
GO

FROM THE FORUM

Stairway to Heaven Highway to Hell
GO

Eric Clapton – Crossroads
GO

Howard Stern – Unlcean Beaver
GO

Blue Man Group – How to be a Megastar
GO

DJ Quik
GO

10,000 Maniacs – Uplugged
GO

Coldplay – Castles
GO

Some Eva Longoria Goodness
GO

Penelope Cruz
GO

How to Train Your Dog
GO

Wallpapers Thread
GO

True Love
GO

Alcohol is great
GO

Darwin Awards
GO

Warcraft II
GO

Praise Me, You Fucking Assholes
GO

The Best of Blondie
GO

Nitzer Ebb
GO

Looking For Girl in a Coma…Aren’t We All?
GO

More Awesome Movies
GO

Uncle B’s Monday Amature
GO

Poll For the Ladies
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

07

Apr

Whoopi Goldberg and Her Interracial Lesbian Kiss on the Video of the Day

I’ve decided that the only thing that turns me on these days is The View. Shit is like porno disguised as boring women sitting behind a desk running their mouths off. Last week I posted Whoopi Goldberg talking about her panty soup and today she’s kisses her co-host Joy. I don’t know what to say about it because I am too busy trying to convince my wife to have sex with me to celebrate the erection shit gave me. If you’re wondering why I think it’s hot, so I am. I remember watching Ghost when she had a Patrick Swayze kiss and feeling sick to my fucking stomach, I don’t think it’s gotta do with being a racist but more with Whoopi having about as much sex appeal as a bucket of shit we have lying around since my wife broke our toilet, but then again, I’d pretty much stick my dick in anything…here’s the video of some old lady awkward lesbianism…

Posted in:Whoopi Goldberg

2008

07

Apr

Blogging Is Dangerous and Kills People of the Day

So 2 bloggers died of heart attacks recently and it’s hit the news.

I don’t think any of you should worry about me dying from blogging because I barely work, but I still feel the heat of being a fat unhealthy internet fuck who is on the verge of death but I feel like it’s got nothing to do with blogging, it’s probably got more to do with smoking, hard drinking and eating lots of cake and only getting off my fat ass to take a shit about half the time I have to shit, the rest of the time I just do it on the floor next to the cardboard box I use as a desk. That’s how we do it in this household. Reality is that I am always stressed because I don’t make money and can’t afford drinking, or because I am hungover and having panic attacks caused by alcohol withdrawal and the only real stress in running the best site on the internet nobody reads and nobody thinks is the best site on the internet and that is why they don’t read it is that I have to wake up every morning around noon being reminded that I suck at life. I also have an annoying fuckin’ wife who I hate and who keeps me up at night with her sleep apnea that’s lead to my own sleep apnea and is why I have high blood pressure. So I may be the next blogger to drop dead, I can only hope and you can too, but I am just being cynical, people like me don’t die, God likes us to suffer.

The bad news is that Perez has a personal trainer and taking on a healthy lifestyle because he doesn’t want to die by blogging, the good news is that Perez Hilton is a gay slut and is going to die of AIDS.

Here he is on CNN giving his “expert” opinion while bigging himself up about how great he is and how much fun his life is while making his 20,000,000 dollars a year.

Since today’s my birthday and I figure I should have a bunch more, I think it’s time to start using my wife’s thighmaster that she bought 20 years ago and never used but that’s just because Suzanne Somers gives me a boner.

Posted in:Bloggers|Die

2008

07

Apr

Audrina Gets Her Tattoo for Pop Fiction of the Day

I was told that the Audrina’s tattoo was a stupid prank for the stupid Ashton Kutcher show that has to be totally bombing because his ideas for fucking with the paparazzi involve suck. They involve people from the fuckin’ Hills, who no one cares about, getting really bad fake tattoos that are…wait for it…supposed to be the wrong chinese characters that read “Pork Fried Rice” instead of “I’m a useless cunt trying to ride this wave as long as I can because I have nothing to offer the world”. She’s so desperate for media attention, she’s released nude pictures and lucky for her Ashton is so desperate to keep his show afloat and can’t find anyone remotely famous to go along with the stupidity that he turns to her. I already posted this shit Here and Here , but figured I’d show you assholes the final prank being played the way they wanted it to trick all of us, when I don’t think it really did.

The only real funny thing about the whole thing or at least the first 10 seconds I watched of it is how the old dude is coaching her how to act when she gets her tattoo to make the whole thing more believable, like bitch is so fucking useless and talentless that she needs tips on how to fake getting a tattoo…I wonder if she needs tips changing her tampon and wiping her ass because if she does, I’d be willing to help even though my track record is pretty bad, at least that’s what my soiled underwear tells me, but I am willing to try….

Watch Part 2 Here if You’re That Interested…I wasn’t.

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Cunt|Pop Fiction|Punk'd

2008

07

Apr

Paris Hilton Gives it to Montreal of the Day

I missed out on the greatest day in Montreal History this weekend, while I was in the gutter drunk because it is my birthday, Paris Hilton was doing some launch for her new shoe collection and partying at some club. I guess she forgot to call me to let me know she’d be around but it seems like it was a big fucking deal, which is both a testament to how pathetic this city is and to the impact this bitch has on the youth. Shit was on the news and in the newspaper and teenage girls everywhere were cumming all over their Hannah Montana underwear as they waited in line for up to 8 hours to get a chance to shake her dirty little hand. The longest I’ve ever waited to get with an std ridden bitch was about 15 minutes while she was using rubbing alcohol to disinfect as I ran to the bank machine to get cash.

I probably should have sucked up my hatred and disinterest for the bitch and channeled it into something funny or creative. I could have dressed up like a crazed teenage girl fan and made her sign my ass, or maybe even get to interviewing her about whether she uses condoms or not, or even dress up in my neighbors suit and claim to be some kind of big record exec here and set up a meeting with her because she’s on some mission to get ahead but I suck at life so the best I can do is rip off these pictures for you.

The bad news is that there wasn’t a random shooting in the club she partied at this weekend. You know one of those drug deals gone bad situation where a motherfucker comes in a shoots the place up. I don’t wish death upon Paris, but a stray bullet to her leg or arm would probably do bitch some good.


She’s Been Here Before and We Have Video From That Glorious Night
GO

Posted in:Montreal|Paris Hilton

2008

05

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I am sick. I guess it’s god’s sick way of striking me down because giving me a shitty life wasn’t enough punishment or maybe it’s because I never take down my garbage and my apartment smells like a dumpster on one end and a sewer wherever my wife hangs out because she has trouble wiping properly and after a few days of build up, shit gets a little toxic….toxic enough for me to think I may be dying….

I don’t know what I am talking about, but I am drunk…Here are my links:

Mariah Carey Showing Off Her Tits and Ass
GO

Hot Slut and Her Motorcycle
GO

Avril Lavgine is REALLY Fucking Stupid but I’d Still Fuck Her
GO

Drunken Brits Know How to Party, Now If We Could Only Do Something About Their Teeth
GO

Put a Frog to Sleep, And Then Lick It’s Ass After To Get High
GO

A Collection of Celecrties Exposed
GO

Enjoy This, Because It’s The Most Action You’re Gonna Get All Weekend. Homo
GO

A Collection of Sexy Gifs Put Into One Video
GO

I Know You Say You’re “Happy With Being Alone” And “Don’t Need a Chick To Complete You” But I know Go Home and Cry At Night So Get this Bitch on Cam to Pretend You Have a Girl…
GO

Marisa Miller Is Hot and Can Kick Your Ass
GO

This Is Living On Your Head, Dirt Bag
GO

Say Hello To Julie Hoi
GO

The 2008 Miss England Semifinalists Give Semi Erections Cuz I am Impotent
GO

More Mena Suvari Bikini Pics
GO

What is Katherine Heigle Wearing?!
GO

Kristen Cavallari Lookin’ Fine at Some Thing or Another
GO

Lauren Conrad’s Got a Fat Arm
GO

Make Finding Sex a Little Easier
GO

Screen Print Your Won Shirts With Bleach
GO

This Slut Thinks She is a Wino Lookalike
GO

Watch These Girls Play in Their Underwear
GO

Some Naked Crack Whore
GO

Tom Cruise Has a Strain of Weed Named After Him
GO

Get Laid Today
GO

Learn to Skateboard!
GO

Some Broad Named Amie Grove is Topless
GO

More Daft Punk Underwear Chicks. Is This Like a New Fad Or something?
GO

Some Megan Fox 2003 Action
GO

This Girl Hangs OUt in Her Blue Underwear
GO

You Can’t Increase Your Dick Size, But You Can Increase Your Porn Collection
GO

A Good Collection of Random Photos
GO

Illustrate a Character in Photoshop
GO

Conspiracy Theory of the Day
GO

A Whole Lot of Suzanne Stokes
GO

Lohan Made me Laugh
GO

I Don’t Know Who This Chick is, But She is Blonde and Hott, So Whatever
GO

His Wife is Cheating on Him
GO

Teen Mommy Darcy!
GO

Trailer Trash or Just a Slut?
GO

Some Hot Slut in a See Through Shirt
GO

Voyeur Cam of Girls Pissing
GO

Some Pretty Lame Flashing Pics…
GO

Some Mary Cary Posed Naked Pics Cuz She’s Banging One of the 76ers
GO

Madonnas and Justin Timberlake’s New Video
GO

Jordan’s Not the Blonde Big Breasted Slut We Fell In Love With Anymore…
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Chick and Her Vagina
GO

FROM THE FORUM

Elliot Smith Thread
GO

Marilyn Manson – Mechanical Animals
GO

M83 – Saturdays = Youth
GO

Vanilla Ice?
GO

OC Weekly presents Spin City
GO

Teagan and Sarah – The Con
GO

Roni Size – Return to V
GO

80’s Underground Box Set
GO

Eric Clapton! Woa!
GO

DJ Quik
GO

Chubby Chasers
GO

JezeBell Bond and Veronica Stone
GO

The Real WHAT WHAT Video
GO

Animal Collective – Grass
GO

Jason Mraz – Mr.A-Z
GO

Liz Phair
GO

Hot Jessica Simpson pics
GO

A Blonde Tries to Buy a TV
GO

Stripper Secrets
GO

Extreme Rape
GO

Fire Exit thats sucks
GO

Trivial Pursuit
GO

Lillie Feels Herself
GO

Hips and Thongs
GO

Young and Busty!
GO

It’s Baseball Season
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

04

Apr

Cameron Diaz has a Hot Body of the Day

Cameron Diaz is the new GQ cover girl and I think she’s lookin’ pretty good. She’s always had a good body with long legs and I guess that’s the reason Justin Timberlake used her to be his pretend girlfriend so that we didn’t catch onto him being a fag. You know anyone who dances like that’s either into little boys or big boys or pretty much anything with a penis and it is with my expert opinion that Cameron Diaz doesn’t have a penis but she does look like she likes penis with makes the whole thing pretty confusing to me. Since I am hungover, I’ll leave this post like this. I decided that I have nothing else to say about it. Speaking of confusing – WATCH THIS

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|GQ|Hot Body|Legs