I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

29

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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It looks like I got some fan mail:

Your english is one of the poorest I have ever read (even a true Mexican who you are not can do better), the subject (celeb sluts to be, being or has been) of your blog is completely schmuck, your life (or what ever you call what you do, apart drinking and blogging I don’t see) is a complete disaster, you barely desserve the right to keep on breathing, but if I was God I would let you alive because time to time you write some very hilarious things and I lough and I lough and I lough.

My argument is that I have trouble focusing on the screen, re-reading my ramblings, spell check, editing and punctuation, and despite all those drawbacks, I don’t think someone who write like the dude who wrote in this fan letter should be giving me writing tips. That’s like asking a fag how to eat pussy or a fat chick for diet tips or even asking me any advice because I pretty much suck at everything.

If you haven’t Become My Facebook Fan – I Hate You – And You Are Making My Goal of Having 10,000 Fans Unreachable. Jerk.
GO

Here are my links:

Rihanna Dressed in Animal Print Because She’s So Wild….
GO

Julia Roberts Thinks She’s a Cop…I Think She’s Ugly
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Petra Nemcova’s Pink Panties
GO

Eva Herzigova on the Runway in Lingerie Video
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Some Big Girl in a Bikini Wrestling Some Skinny Dude
GO

Britney Spears is Pregnant with JR Rotem’s Baby…I Have No Idea Who He Is…I am a Bad Blogger but I do Know His Middle Name is Rihanna and That’s Massively Gay
GO

Heather Graham’s Zoo Magazine Photoshoot
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Victoria Silvstedt’s Naked Ass
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Natalie Portman for NYT Style Magazine
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Kim Kardashian’s Ass Lied About Being Robbed for Publicity
GO

Here are Some Hot Triplets in Video…..
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Petra Nemcova’s Showing Off Her Hot Tits
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Lookin’ Good Sweethread – The Breast Implant Edition
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Tara Reid is a Huge Star!!! And Hosts Big Parties in Darwin Australia
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Samantha Ronson Leaving Lohan’s Apartment with a Japanese Herbie Fully Loaded Poster to Masturbate To
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Some Kristen Bell Cleavage Pictures
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Jennifer Love Hewitt is Engaged….No Wonder She Let Herself Get Fat….She Has a Dude Who Loves Her Money and Living Out His Teenage Party of 5 Fantasy
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2 Hot Twins Showing off Their Hot Slutty Twin Bodies in Some Lingerie VIdeo
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In Boring News – Britney Spears and Paris Hilton Were Voted Naughtiest Celebrities
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Anne Hathaway’s Tits in Video
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The Dental School Blowjob Machine
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Say Goodbye to Jordan’s Implants
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Here’s a Compilation of Hot Columbian Chicks…Because Where There’s Cocaine – There’s Pussy….That’s a Fact
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Some Chick Named Chantelle Houghton’s Got Some Insane Cleavage
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Paris Hilton Introduces Her Vagina Vaggo to her Parents
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John Travolta was Busted Leaving a Gay Spa…Because He’s Gay
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Some Really Big TIts
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Some Drunk Guy Loses His Balance and Passes Out After Drinking Too Much
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Which Phase in Jordan’s Breast Development Did You Like the Best
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Cat Fight That Doesn’t End When A Girls Shirt Gets Ripped Off and Her Tit Falls Out of Her Bra
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Some Stop Vagina Mutilation Ad
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This is What R Kelly Did on a Sunday…..
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This Will Make You Never Look at Tits the Same Way Again
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Sweet and Sexy Sadie Does Some Public Flashing
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Paris Hilton Wants a Baby, I Guess That’s Why She’s Hanging With Vaggo….Dude Needs Her….
GO

Some Blonde Chick With Huge Tits in a Bikini Video
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Crystal Marie is a Hot GIrl from Myspace….Here Are Her Pics
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The Top 10 Shocking Hollywood Secrets
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Some Retarded Cross Walk Prank
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Some Ashley Tisdale Sucking Dick While Performing Because She’s Useless
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The Female Bukkake
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20,000 Teddy Bears Thrown on Ice at a Hockey Game
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Drink Til You Puke Video
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Sexploitation – Clip of the Week Called My Third Wife George
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Drea de Matteo and Waylon Jennings’ Jr Jr Have a Baby and Name it Something Retarded
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Some Neil Young For His New Album
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Snoop With a Joint Behind His Ear at Some BBC/Ice Cream Store Opening for Pharell
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Snoops New Video – Sensual Seduction
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Celebrity Jeff Conway Snorting a Fat Line of Cocaine
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The breakdown of Social Networking Bulletins that’s Worth Reading
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Some Crazy Pregnant Chick Goes At Her Boyfriend’s Van With a Shovel
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Some Pervert Loves His Porn So Much He Jerks Off in the Store
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FROM PHOTOBUCKET:

Some Hot Chick Posing Half Naked
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FROM THE FORUM:

Download Girl Tak – Unstoppable
GO

Download Journey – Greatest Hits
GO

Download Frank Sinatra – The Classic Collection
GO

Download Armand Van Helden – Nympho
GO

Find Out What Porn Site Is Best For You….
GO

No Girlfriend? This Will Help You Get Sex
GO

This is Where You’ll Find People To Have Sex With
GO

Posted in:Unsorted

2007

29

Nov

I am – Zoey Zane Internet Nude Model Gone Missing of the Day

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So someone sent this story into me:

A missing Kansas college student believed to be the victim of foul play apparently led a double life as an Internet porn star by the name of Zoey Zane.

Nude photos of 18-year-old Emily Sander appeared on a Zoey Zane Web site before she vanished, and investigators are looking into whether her modeling had anything to do with her disappearance last Friday.

The Web site had some 30,000 subscribers who paid $39.95 a month to visit the site, said David Thomas, the site’s designer, who works for a Florida-based videography and photography business. The free teaser pictures of Sander and other women are very tame compared with the videos and pictures that come with subscription to the site, he said.

Now – I am thinking this has to be staged only because there’s no fuckin’ way a site I’ve never heard of would have 30,000 subscribers at 40 dollars a month and if they do, then I am in the wrong fucking business, not that this is a business. I am sure I could find a hood rat of a girl to get naked enough for perverts to want to fuck and subscribe to the site because let’s face it, she’s really not all that hot….

I think it’s some publicity stunt, because now we’re all thinking to ourselves, why the fuck are so many dudes into this bitch, shit’s gotta be good, I’m going to sign the fuck up too. Or maybe she just ran away because her parents and friends found out she gets naked on the net because one of the 30,000 people recognized her.

But if this is real and she did get kidnapped, the story goes like this. Every creepy fucking lonely dude you see on the bus pulling his dick out for school girls and all those rapists you hear about on the news, all have internet connections and they all have access to young girls and young girls are too stupid to block out their personal information and all post pictures of themselves in bikinis because they think the internet is a happy, friendly place that all their friends use, and don’t realize it’s like standing in the middle of the fuckin’ busiest street in every major city in their bikini…and some people don’t notice, other people jerk off in the corner to it, and other people try to tell them to put their clothes back on, while some dudes try to hustle them to fuck or date them and some crazy dudes want to rape and kidnap them because they are crazy dudes.

It’s just a numbers game and if 30,000 people are up on your shit every month, at least one of them is going to be crazy and think you belong to him and let’s face it at 40 dollars a month, I’d think you belonged to me too. That’s more expensive than my wife is, but that’s cuz she does all the paying. But you know what I’m saying….stalkers aren’t normal and get abnormal thoughts in their mind and if you’ve got myspace, they could be watching you and if you’re reading this site, they probably are you.

UPDATE – She’s dead, See I can admit when I’m wrong…

Posted in:Internet Model|Missing|Zoey Zane

2007

29

Nov

I am – Kristin Cavallari is Hot Enough to Fuck of the Day

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The thing I like about Kristin Cavallari is that she’s good enough to have sex with, but I wouldn’t go as far as saying she’s hot. But she has all kinds of perks that makes her hot enough to marry, like the fact that she’s rich and can support my lifestyle, which is really only about $500 a month, I’m no K-Fed, I just want to bite his style, and not by dressing like a fool and launching a embarrassing flop of a rap career, but by knocking up rich girls, because a baby will always keep us together and by together I mean the checks rollin’ in.

So when a girl has money to support me, it makes her less than perfect face automatically become better than good enough, because I guess a person has more to offer the world than just their looks. See I am not shallow, I can deal with settling for ugly people provided they have money to compensate for the things they are lacking and reality is I sold my soul to the devil years ago, because I went with a fat lonely lady who had no problem paying my way, but now I have to smell her sweat every time I walk in my shitty apartment because I jumped the gun and went with the only bitch willing to do that for me, when I shoulda held out for someone who wasn’t so fat and had a bit more money to offer, but in being realistic, just having a disgusting poor lonely fat chick paying my way is pretty legendary….

Here are some Kristin Cavallari in pantyhose picturs, because she’s not fat.


Related Posts:

Kristin Cavallari Bikini Pictures
Kristin Cavallari Dressed Like a Slut

Become My Fan on my DrunkenStepfather Facebook Page

Posted in:Unsorted

2007

29

Nov

I am – Rachel Bilson’s Hot Ass in White Denim of the Day

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I had a pretty fucking weird dream. Don’t worry, I am not turning into some kind of hippie who thinks he’s an Indian and camps out in the park in my leather vest and headdress who analyzes dreams, but I am usually too wasted to actually have dreams because I just kinda pass out, so remembering last night’s dream was legendary.

So here it is. I dreamt that I was in some kind of auditorium or some shit, and I had to shit really fucking badly and couldn’t find a bathroom anywhere, when I did there were line-ups and I didn’t know what to do because I had to be back in the auditorium. So I’m sitting there and can’t hold shit in, so I end up shitting myself as discreetly as possible. I remember thinking how good it felt for about a second, before realizing what I had just done and the smell hit. Everyone in the room started making a fuss about the smell and lookin’ around to see what the fuck caused it. The girl next to me started gagging and leans over and I’m playing along with it like I am innocent and that the sewage system in the building must have backed up. Then I stand up and I’m wearing white pants that I ruined and everyone starts pointing and laughing, so instead of running and crying out of embarrassment, I drop my pants and start running after people with my shit covered hand, and it turns into a scene from a teenage lesbian pillow fight video.

Either way, when I saw these Rachel Bilson in her not-so-period friendly pants, I figured I had to post it, because it’s like I’m a psychic who sees the future in my dreams because I saw white jeans on me so that only means that me and Rachel Bilson’s pants are connected at the soul and I’ll get the chance to shit on them in person one day…..


Related Posts:

Rachel Bilson Does Santa Claus
Rachel Bilson is Fucking Star Wars
Rachel Bilson is a Pedophile
Rachel Bilson’s Dog and Nipples

Posted in:Unsorted|White Denim

2007

29

Nov

I am – Penelope Cruz’s Lace Bra of the Day

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I was trying to figure out things I hate because I don’t think I really hate all that much, I am more of the kind of person who just doesn’t give a fuck and the only thing that came to mind that I actually hate was periods, both the punctuation and the vagina disorder. I think that’s only because periods fuck up everyone’s life, both guys who can’t fuck their girls unless they like bloody messes, and girls who get all weird an hormonal and have to shove a tampon in every hour of the day to not toxic shock on us. I just hate the punctuation because it fucks up my flow, because I’m like a rapper who doesn’t rhyme and I write this shit singing to myself….

Here are some Penelope Cruz pics, just because I have a thing for exotic looking Spanish girls, it brings thoughts of being the Bull Fighter who waves to his little Spanish Pregnant Wife before being impaled and killed by a bull only, which isn’t so bad because I probably woulda been a bad father who never paid the bills and a bad husband who cheated on my wife anyway…..If you look close enough, you can see bra….you’ve got that virgin vision that the rest of us lose the second we get pussy. I guess this is one of the cases where you’re better than the general public. Other examples are creative ways to masturbate, the ability to organize really well and a masterful command of the brush you use to brush your mom’s hair…


Related Posts:

Penelope Cruz in a Bikini
Penelope Cruz or Her Hot Sister’s Foot Fetish Pictures
Penelope Cruz in a Short Dress
Penelope Cruz’s Family Slutting It Up On the Beach

Posted in:Unsorted

2007

29

Nov

I am – Reba McEntire’s Old Country Tits of the Day

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Old tits are exciting because they’ve seen a lot more than young tits. Just think how many times they’ve been sucked from husbands, boyfriends, one night stands and her babies compared to some 19 year old who’s only let 5 duded up her shirt, not that that exists, but you get my point and if you don’t it’s fine, because I don’t think I actually made one.

Sure Reba looks like the state fair pig you threw out 25 years ago that’s decided to come knocking on your door to tell you that she still loves you and that you’re daughter you never knew you had has a 10 year old making you a grandfather and before slamming the door in the face because she’s clearly crazy, she offers to sell your some doilies she made for her church bazaar and when you say no she pulls out her tits that are 10 times bigger than they were when you last had her because that’s what getting old does to a woman and you’ve got no choice but to take hold of the aging process with your mouth and bust all over them….and by them I mean yourself, because you’re wife’s in the other room and you got overly excited by the risk of getting caught.

I am drunk and that’s why I just wrote this post. It happens.


Related Posts:

Reba McEntire’s Old Tits
Jewel Has Some Weird Cleavage
stepTV does Country Music Night
Carrie Underwood Playing Softball

Posted in:Dolly Parton|Reba McEntire|Unsorted

2007

29

Nov

I am – Beyonce and Jay-Z Leaving Somewhere Together of the Day

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If I was Jay-Z I would have traded Beyonce in for Rihanna a long time ago, not because she’s more talented, but because she’s younger, hotter and more popular right now, but I am shallow like that. The only reason I’m still with the wife is because she’s pays my rent and doesn’t complain when she walks in on me picking my ass and smelling my finger, one of my many habits that doesn’t seem to turn new chicks on.

I guess what it comes down to is that either Jay-Z and Beyonce have an understanding that he’s allowed to slam young tighter bodied girls on the regular, give them a record deal and make them millions because it’s all part of business, while Beyonce sits at home eating fried chicken and writing shitty love song lyrics for her next album, and they stay together because it’s good for publicity for both of them and that is also part of business, or maybe they are emotionally attached to each other and really love each other because Jay-Z’s got his own money and Beyonce made her own money, so they both know they aren’t using each other for much more than sex and companionship.

Either way, I just analyzed a relationship that looks like it belongs in a zoo, not because I am racist and think black people look like monkeys, but because Jay-Z’s got a funny fucking face that looks like a monkey, and even if he was white and had the same face would look like a monkey, so you can stop your allogations right now.


Related Posts:

Beyonce’s Bathing Suit Ass
Beyonce’s Tit Flash on Stage
Beyonce’s Tits Leaving a Party
Beyonce in a Leotard Pictures

Posted in:Dinner|Jay-Z|Unsorted

2007

29

Nov

I am – Hayden Panettiere is My Little Miss Sunshine of the Day

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I went on a walk to get away from my wife earlier tonight and I found myself walking into a construction site without realizing it because the fuckers had the sidewalked blocked off like people didn’t need to use that shit or something and in protest of them being assholes who inconvenience me, I decided to walk through the site. Nothing was going to stop me, until I almost got run the fuck over by a bulldozer and the first thing that came to my mind was Hayden? Why you trying to hurt me.

Lucky for you, I escaped unscathed, but I almost got in a fist fight with the construction worker who was driving the bulldozer, because I told him that just because he’s a highschool drop out doesn’t mean he has to take out his rage that life didn’t work out for him on me. He didn’t take it well and got in my face, he definitely would have beat the fuck out of me, because he spends his days lifting heavy things and had bigger arms than Hayden, while I spend my days sitting and recovering from hangovers and was already out of breath from trying to walk….but I made things good with Hayden by telling him that I dropped out of high school too, we high fived and I am almost feel over, then I went on with my life and he went back to his bulldozer that I also named Hayden.

Either way, here is the star of my construction working experience where she played both the bulldozer and the burly construction working dude at the same time and now she’s wearing some ironic T-shirt….what can’t this beast do, she’s gotta be a machine and not just because she’s built like one. If you’re wondering why her shirt is ironic, it’s because I saw the movie and it was about some ugly fat girl who wanted to be a beauty queen, and Hayden is an ugly girl who thinks she’s a beauty queen, it’s be like me wearing a shirt that said, Fat, Mexican, Poor and Limp….but different.


Related Posts:

Hayden’s Got Girl’s Underwear On…
Hayden’s Shitty See Through Shirt
Hayden Panettiere is Hot in GQ
Hayden Panettiere Pumpin’ Gas and Not Iron

Posted in:Bobble Head|Midget|Plow|Strong|Unsorted|Wrestler

2007

29

Nov

I am – Esther Canadas is a Scary Monster Supermodel of the Day

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Esther Canadas is some Spanish supermodel from a bunch of years ago who I’ve never heard about because despite loving supermodels, I don’t really keep tabs on them. I am too busy doing nothing to really care. What I do know is that whatever this girl did to her face scares the fuck out of me.

Speaking of scary, someone wrote into the site asking me if I ever planned on writing a children’s book. The answer was no and my life isn’t interesting enough for an autobiography, because I haven’t really accomplished shit. I couldn’t really do a self-help book, because out of the 5 people lame enough to buy it, they’d all probably end up killing themselves because that’s my solution to all problems and if I was to do a coffee table book, it would just be of chicks spreading their vaginas because I think vagina is the most interesting thing to look at. So I wrote her back saying I had a choose your own adventure in the works, that no matter what path you take, you always end up finding out that you’re gay in the end.

Speaking of Gay, nothing is screams lesbian outfit more than seeing a chick in a business suit….other than seeing a chick in construction boots, flannel and denim, but that’s a whole other kind of lesbian, one that I don’t want to see have sex….


Related Posts:

Naomi Campbell’s Old Supermodel Ass at a Costume Party
Cindy Crawford in Lingerie for a 1989 Catalog
Elle Macpherson Posing to Promote her Lingerie By Not Wearing Lingerie
Some Rachel Hunter Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Esther Canadas|Lesbian Outfit|Lips|Unsorted

2007

29

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I went to buy my wife toilet paper – because it was one of those emergency situtions that happen all too often with her and if I didn’t there was going to be trouble, not necessarily for me, because her shit would have been everywhere and as much as I love fecal art in public places, I don’t want to have to deal with that in my bed.

I went to the drug store down the street and the two homeless kids who are always begging for change outside the place where inside shopping. I was pretty fascinated with seeing what 2 homeless kids with tattooed faces buy so I followed them around. They picked up deoderant and body oil and the bill was 15 dollars. Now I am not a financical planner, but when you’re buying body oil and deoderant for 15 dollars and you’re fuckin’ homeless, couldn’t they have though about a better place to throw that money, like on food or drugs or booze or some kind of over-the-counter product to drink like cleaning detergent. Either way, I was pretty fuckin’ disappointed.

Speaking of disappointed:

Why the Fuck Do I Only Have 100 Facebook Fans…I Wan 100,000…..Get On It….
GO

My life is full of disappointment. Now Here Are My Links……

Some Chick Named Tabitha Taylor and Her Insane Plastic Surgery Ridden Face and Tits
GO

Katherine Heigl Smoking for Horny Lohan Wanker
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Mischa Barton Lookin’ Fucking Hot for Arena Magazine
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Some Chick Named Manon Thomas’ Stolen Nudes. I’ve Never Heard of Her….Wikipedia This Shit
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Some Model Named Sara Morghad’s Underwear Photoshoot Video
GO

Some Hot Chick Getting Naked for a Tanning Bed That Doesn’t Like Her Very Much
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This Is What Hayden Panettiere’s Mom Looks Like
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Paris Hilton’s Pantyhose Covered Ass Flash
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Some Chick Grabbing Her Tit Picture
GO

Rose McGowan on the Street Because You Love Her
GO

Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon Had Sex on a Plane
GO

Some Hot Chick Named Leah Dizon Half-Naked Posing for You
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Lesbian Dildo Sex Video
GO

Helena Christensen Topless Pictures in GQ Because She’s Fuckin’ Hot
GO

Some Reporter Wipes Out on a Skateboard
GO

Uma Thurman is the Cougar of the Day at 37 Years Old
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Throwback to Christina Aguilera’s Nipple Ring
GO

Some Naked Celebrity Pool Party Pictures….
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Lesbian Photoshoot Gallery Because You Like Lesbians and They Hate You
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Here’s Some Little Naked Australian Chick
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Some Dude Makes Himself Lactate
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This Chick is a Youtube Legend….She’s Basically a Hot Immigrant Who Gives English Lessons….Amazing to Jerk Off To
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Some Chick Gets Powdered When Doing Her Hair
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Tila Tequila Gives Some Old Lady a Lap Dance
GO

Some Teen Girl Maturbating on Webcam
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The Nerdcore Calendar Girls Aren’t Very Nerdy
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Inside Britney’s Crazy House…..Cover of Star Magazine With her in Some Lingerie or Something
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2 Girls 1 Cup The T-Shirt
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More Jennifer Love Hewitt in a Bikini Pictures
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Gemma Atkinson Showing Off Some Tit in NUTS Magazine
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Some Terrorist Fucking a Donkey
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Britney Spears Tried on Panties in the Middle of Some Store and Then Stole a Wig Because She’s Awesome….
GO

Vote on the Best Gemma Atkinson Quote
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Some Viral Video Making Fun of Perez Hilton
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Kellie Pickler is a Fuckin’ Idiot on Are Yor Smarter Than a 3rd Grader
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Some BMX Wipe Out
GO

Some Drugged Out Chick Breaks Out of a Cop Car
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Stephanie Pratt is Spencer Pratt’s Sister and She Has a Sex Tape
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Some Futurama Premiere Red Carpet Action
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Lohan is Back on the Bottle
GO

Some Dirty Jersey Crackwhore Will Make You Throw Up While She’s Showin Off Her Box
GO

Pam Anderson Naked on a Boat for a Photoshot Video
GO

Find Out What Porn Site Is Best For You….
GO

This Will Help You Get Sex
GO

Have Sex With Swingers
GO

FROM THE FORUM:

Download the Beanie Segal New Album That’s Only Being Released Dec 11
GO

Download Fatboy Slim’s Greatest Hits Remixed
GO

Download Some Cake For Yourself
GO

Download Some Camper Von Beethoven Album – I don’t Know Who They Are
GO

Download Some Clap Your Hands Say Yeah Album
GO

Download Some Stevie Nicks
GO

Some More Suicide Girl Action…Because Alternative Models are the New Average Lookin’ Girl Who Gets Naked
GO

Some Bikini Magazine in PDF Because You Like Bikinis
GO

Download More Biggy Albums
GO

Vida Guera’s Big Booty Pictures
GO

19 Year old Leslie is a Dirty Fuckin’ Bi Sexual…These Are her Stolen Dirty Fuckin’ Pictures
GO

Real Peachez Masturbating Video and Screen Caps for you Perverts
GO

Download some I Feel Myself Videos….Because Masturbating Chicks are Fun
GO

Posted in:Unsorted