Lookin’ at Kate Moss topless on the beach is about as exciting as looking at pictures of my dirty flacid penis, not because my penis is exciting or some half naked, middle-aged, coked out supermodel, even though I pretend it is when I am taking showers, but because it’s as equally washed up and she is and about the same amount of people have seen it. Not to mention, it’s probably the same size as her retarded supermodel nipples, which isn’t saying much about my capabilities of making girls feel me in their throat when I am slamming them, but I have come to terms with having a smaller penis than a 3 year old. What it is saying about Kate Moss though, is that her nipples are like two 3 year old’s penises, which is something you probably like and the reason why I don’t like you.

Here she is topless in Mexico with some dude who’s gotta be gay, but I generally stereotype skinny, groomed men in speedos as fags, even if they’re not. Maybe dude’s just pretending to be gay to get closer to Kate Moss’ vagina, not that he’d want to, because based on her facial expressions when she’s checkin’ out her junk, it looks like Pete Doherty may have forgotten some of his junk in there and now it’s rotting. Maybe it’s just a rash, in which case I’d totally apply topical cream on her, with my mouth, but that’s just because I’m dirty and a gold digging whore, even if the gold I’m digging for turns out to be flakey flesh wounds.

Posted in:Unsorted

After Thursday’s night of college binge drinking where I ended up coming home at 9 am wasted, I realized that the only way to cure my hangover was to keep drinking Friday and Saturday and even today…I figure as long as I am drunk I won’t get hungover. The only problem with this strategy is that I forgot I had a website amongst forgetting many other things, like what I did all weekend, so here are the links I was supposed to drop on Friday. Two days late is never too bad, even when it’s your girl’s period because there’s still hope that you won’t have to punch her in the stomach while she’s sleeping because she’s a good Christin girl who doesn’t believe in abortions….or something similar….

Here are them links.

Posted in:Unsorted

It’s safe to say that drinking works against me sometimes, like today, where I get home at 9 in the morning wasted and end up passing out and sleeping all day after writing 2 useless posts that I am scared to read, but I never read shit I’ve already written, I don’t like living in the past.

I do like that I go out planning on having one or two drinks, but end getting fucking beat the fuck up and leaving the bar an hour after it closes because I some how manage to befriend the bartenders and get them to give me free shots all night and refuse to leave because I want to the party to continue. The whole time I’m out I’m trying to catalog shit for posts, but whenever I wake up the next day it’s all gone and the only memories I have are of me in a tuxedo, sipping cocktails in some exclusive penthouse apartment and talking politics with supermodels when it reality, I’m actually messy as fuck and embarrassing myself while offending everyone around me and trying to get fat chicks to compare their pussies in dive bars.

I know you don’t care about any of that, so here are some pictures of Vanessa Hugens showing off some leg, and since we’ve all seen her naked, seeing her in clothes may be a bit of a downer, since it’s unnatural for a girl who’s been naked for you to not get naked for you again, but seems to be the story of my life, because they seem to think getting naked for me was some lapse in judgment….which it probably was….but still doesn’t make things better.

Posted in:Unsorted

Nothing says I don’t shave my bush like a girl who wears a pair of jeans that don’t fit proper. It’s like she ripped these off some fat chick or her husband and decided to rock them in public because she’s a Spice Girl and Spice Girls don’t have to always be on.

Point being that I am all for girls who don’t wear 300 dollar jeans that make their asses look amazing, because when a girl wears a pair of standard jeans and still has an amazing ass, you know what you’re dealing with, it’s none of that smoke and mirrors bullshit, like the padded bra, or those titty inserts that has mislead men for years.

Either way, Geri Halliwell looks like a fucking college backpacker going through Europe for her first time and who hasn’t been able to shower or change her clothes for a week because she’s down to her last ten dollars except for her old haggard shitty make up job of a face kinda throws that theory away but she’s like any homeless person who’s clothing serves both as a house and a fashion statement, like the dude who hangs out around my neighborhood who wears a snow suit and billy boots all summer…because I guess he has no where to store his winter clothes.

Posted in:Unsorted