I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day
Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day
Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day
Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day
Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day
Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day
Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day
Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day
Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day
Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2007

16

Jul

I am – Lohan goes to AA of the Day

1 Comment »

Lindsay Lohan AA Meeting

Here’s Lohan on her way to an AA meeting Friday, the day before she partied at Pure with a truckload of Redbull and Vox water laid out before her, which she also did pre-rehab when also ‘sober.’ You can feel that she is jonezing for a drink in this pic, and you can tell her straw hair is tired of clorox, and she is tired of this AA publicity shit.

I spent some time in the Midwest when I was on the run from my pissed off Turkish Pimp, Zeki. What i learned about the Lake Michigan area is that everyone is fat on hotdogs and is a raging, boring alcoholic, not the fun kind like dear, sweet Jesus. I can promise that there, AA meetings are few and filled with vacant seats. I met a guy, let’s call him Marty, who was trying to break into Hollywood by living 1000+ miles away from it. Marty gives Segway tours for obese tourists to support his drinking habit. Marty lives in his childhood home and dressed up a mannequin in his mother’s wedding dress and placed it in the chair she died in. You’re not allowed to touch or move it. Marty’s crib is decorated for Halloween all year long. Marty is 38 but still pretty so he needs a sugar-daddy to make sure he can afford his crazy pills, so he gays it up with a brilliant but lonely older man who is desperate for love, just like Marty… But aren’t we all, otherwise I wouldn’t have had a job during my dark years… But Jesus made them light. Just like he lights up your life… and he will be back…

Lohan is also looking for love, and also a shot, only she won’t find either one at an AA meeting.
Obediently yours,

Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME


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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted

2007

16

Jul

I am – Cameron Diaz in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

Cameron Diaz Bikini

Other then those awful Shrek movies, I don’t remember when Cameron Diaz did anything except run around on a beach in a god damned bikini. Lucky Her. When you’re someone like me, who doesn’t live where there is beaches and the temperature is below zero for half the fucking year, you tend to get a bit bitter about this shit.

The thing that pisses me about a lot of people who live fantasy lives is they really have no idea how good they have it and always seem to forget that. It’s like once your bank account get above a certain number, you become oblivious to everything you have, and just think the rest of the world gets to live like you do.

That’s why when I was a kid, I was never allowed over to the rich kids houses, cause I was the one that go over there and see everything they have, then just break it all cause I hated them and their rich parents.


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2007

16

Jul

I am – Diane Kruger Naked of the Day

13 Comments »

Diane Kruger Naked

This is Diane Kruger, German actress famous for playing Helen in “Troy” and also for being in “National Treasure,” which is for some godforsaken reason filming a sequel in London right now. She kind of looks like a pin-up for the Hitler Youth in these pix, well, being German and all.

I used to get her confused with Sienna Miller in 2004, but then Miller shacked up with Jude Law, got traded in for the Nanny, making herself a name. I don’t know when these were taken, but Diane Kruger is naked, so have fun jerking off to Helen of Troy.

About a year ago, I had one of those experiences where I felt like fucking Helen of Troy for 20 minutes when I scored the hottest guy in an exclusive new bar. I stalked and slithered up to him, we sealed the deal on the dance floor. I was looking for love in all the wrong places, but this felt right, because it was raining like crazy as we ran off to his apartment, like something out of a Doris Day movie. All wet, we strolled into his marble floored building, then got down to business. As he spent ONE minute releasing his load, i wondered why there was only a bed and lamp in the huge apartment. Finally he rolled off me and bolted for the shower. Like, what? I don’t have ‘ex-hooker’ tatooted on my vulva and I don’t have any diseases (miraculously) and the trojan was involved, so what was that about? As he scrubbed himself down, I dressed myself, unsatisfied (because, come on, 1 minute, even Jesus at the end of his prime was better than that). As I pulled on my wet jeans, i put two and two together… like probably this wasn’t his apartment, and he was the broker or something, and had OCD about cleanliness, becuase when i was a hooker, I was all about perfect hygeine, and still am.

That manwhore left me feeling dirty and used because this time it wasn’t for survival or pay, it was for the moment, and asswipe treated me like a dumpster slut. I bet Diane Kruger has never been treated as if “ex-hooker” was tatooted across her forehead, but i bet Sienna Miller has. though.

Obediently yours,

Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)


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2007

16

Jul

I am – Danielle Lloyd Bikini Pics of the Day

2 Comments »

Danielle Lloyd Bikini on Beach

By Hollywood standards, Danielle Lloyd is fat fucking cow who needs to loose weight, and that’s pretty sad, cause I think her body is slamming.

I hate giving in to this stupid thinness thing, but to be honest, I do and I hate myself for it. I don’t judge other people tho, just myself. I don’t mean to sound all after school special but this low body weight thing being perpetuated in Hollywood and the media is seriously starting to fuck with young girls, me being one of them. I don’t have an eating disorder or anything, but I basically feel guilty after anytime I eat and my version if dieting is basically just not eating at all.

I should really write a book or something about it so at least if I get some easting disorder and die, I can do so rich and rolling around in a big pile of money. You don’t need pills to loose to weight, nor do you need to even work out. All you need to is drill it into you head that nothing tastes as good as being thin feels, and watch the pounds melt I away.


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2007

16

Jul

I am – Brooke Hogan on Stage of the Day

6 Comments »

Brooke Hogan on Stage

I’m pretty sure some asshole tried to slip Rohypnol or god knows what in my drink on Saturday night, because after 2 beers I got pretty fukked up and sick and spent the day in bed puking and basicially immobile on Sunday. I still don’t feel right, so if I’m slow today, thats why.

I talked to Jesus on the weekend. He told me to tell you he’s enjoying the cruise he doesn’t miss you guys at all, and that in fact, he hates every last one of you. I think he even said he hated me at one point, but I’m not sure cause he was rambling and drunk from the all-you-can-drink liquor on the cruise ship and I just put the phone down and went to do my nails.

He did ask me to ask “that little homo friend� of mine Julien, to help me write for the site “because gay bloggers are the in thing now�. Julien and I have known each other since we were kids, and used to play dolls together. I had a crush on him until I was about 11, when I pulled down my pants in front of him and tried to seduce him, and he threw up on me and started to cry.

Julien Writes:

Now, like most faggots I’m more into bigger guys. You know, the classic gay muscle daddy, broad shoulders, muscular thighs etc. The problem with those guys is that they are usually only interested in other muscular guys. So when my skinny ass goes up to them at a club,
all cracked out and trying to start talking to them, they don’t give me the time of day. The only ones that do are the older guys with the gross moustache and receding hairline, which I’m totally not into but I usually go home with them anyway because, like all men gay or straight, I’ll pretty much take sex wherever I can get it.

That being said, Brooke Hogan would totally be my type if she had a dick, and I would let her fuck me, no condom. But unfortunately, I’d probably end up going with Hulk instead.


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Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

13

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

14 Comments »

stepLINK July 13/07

Okay day two is down, and I didn’t crash the site, though I still can’t figure out the Decock topless photo thing from this morning, and it’s pissing me off (sorry Nell). The guy who told me I had a heart like a piece of ice stopped by this afternoon and brought me lunch and then split. I’m not quite sure what that means. Either it’s a piece offering, or he’s trying to make me fat so that next time he sees me, he will be able to point out flaws to himself and stop loving me and all that is my good looks.

I’ve been getting lots of emails for photos, and my camera is in the shop, though I haven’t decided 100% whether you lot are worthy. Jesus told me not to, but he’s a fatass hanging out on a cruise ship, while I’m here talking to all 5 of you, so he doesn’t have much say on the subject. At least it’s Friday, which means tomorrow around 11am I will be waking up god knows where, next to gods knows who, with god knows what in my mouth. Just kidding! Click the links and maybe I’ll send you nudes. 😉 xoxo


Megan Fox wants to show you her tattoos.
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Not all sports fans are middle aged fat guys and 12 year olds.
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Nicole Richie likes her men cut. I don’t.
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Gavin Rossdales hot illegitimate daughter shows her tits in a magazine.
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Wrestling 3 way.
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I hate babies, but this is awesome.
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The best body ever.
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Flesh Flicks – The (Almost) Silent Era (NSFW)
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Sexy sleeper hold.
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Random Photo Bucket
Thanks to Rogue Collector
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Look both ways….
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Chandler Bing is boning Meg Ryan.
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There’s nudes of Lohan floating around. Send them to me when you find them, because I’m too lazy to look myself
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Sophie Anderton has a sex boot company or something.
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Jemima Khan Upskirt
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Hott Chicks take a bath (NSFW)
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More Random Photobucket
Thanks to Rogue Collector
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Vote for Adriana Lima
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Christina Ricci looks like a Lego man.
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Win a date with Eri
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Old nudies of Kate Moss
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Avril Lavigne should just shut her mouth and look good, cause that is all she is good at doing.
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Accapella Mortal Combat
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Shannon Whirry is gorgeous.
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Lily Allen is cute sometimes
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Dani Wells in FHM
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Boxing press conference turns into a brawl
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Chest to chest action.
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Miss Nopi 2007
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Emmanual Chirqui’s breasts are spectacular.
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Elena Santarelli is prettier then the girl you will end up marrying because you don’t want to die a loser virgin.
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Win a date with Toni
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Heidi Montag is an intellectual.
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MORE Photobucket
Thanks to Rogue Collector
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Britney has a stalker. Maybe they will kill her and then we won’t have to hear about her anymore.
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Read a book, muthafucka!
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Bianca Gascogne topless
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GIRL FIGHT!
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720 dunk, for anyone who gives a shit about sports.
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Four roommates making out.
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Find sex in your hometown without drugging the girl first!
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Because you and I both know you aren’t getting any. It’s okay admit it.
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

13

Jul

I am – Homeless Doorman of the Day

5 Comments »

There’s two kinds of homeless people in this world. Well probably more, but for the sake of the point I’m trying to make we will say there is two. So, there’s two kinds of homeless people in this world. There’s the ones that think they are somehow entitles to some of everything we have, like that squeegee-punk-fuck I threw my orange soda on who kicked the door of that car the other day. Then, there’s ones like this guy. they know their life is shit, yet there they are smiling big to the world around them, even though they never eat, sleep on concrete and probably have fleas.

I was at the bar last night and came upon some old guy drinking straight from his beer pitcher, going on and on about how people are too obsessed with keeping things clean, and that we need germs to help us build immunities, and that when the world goes to shit in like 5o years, its the homeless that are going to come out on top because they will be more immune to shit then the average person.

Then he veered off onto talking about how “he’s no pervert” but when watches the animal channel and sees a male lion fucking a female lion he gets super turned on. Thats when I grabbed my vodka/soda and made my way over to the other side of the bar.

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

13

Jul

I am – J Love’s Big Boobs and Birthing Hips of the Day

3 Comments »

Jennifer Love Hewitt

I don’t have a TV, but that’s not why I don’t watch Ghost Whisperer. I don’t watch Ghost Whisperer mostly for the same reason i never watched Party of Five: Jennifer Love Hewitt. I hate her acting, I hate her fivehead, and she makes me want to kick her in the face with steel toed boots. She must have bukkake’d it up with half the studio execs in Hollywood to still be working. Whatever credit she gets for growing tits so big they need some sort of pulley-system for support, she loses for the way she wears her hips. Like what are those jeans about–is she aiming to look like a pregnant pear? I envied her body so bad as a kid when i saw “I still know you ran over me last summer and now i will kill you,” but today, not so much. It is as if her mission is to model maternity clothes all the time. If she is knocked up, she won’t need a C section because bitch has birthing hips a tractor would have no problem passing through.

This post was shitty but I don’t care because I am hungover and I want food and all I got is kechcup and prescription drugs lying around. I am also still a little bothered because dude from last night was a perv and my vagina got no play, but that is why god invented batteries.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell

EMAIL ME HERE


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2007

13

Jul

I am – J Love's Big Boobs and Birthing Hips of the Day

3 Comments »

Jennifer Love Hewitt

I don’t have a TV, but that’s not why I don’t watch Ghost Whisperer. I don’t watch Ghost Whisperer mostly for the same reason i never watched Party of Five: Jennifer Love Hewitt. I hate her acting, I hate her fivehead, and she makes me want to kick her in the face with steel toed boots. She must have bukkake’d it up with half the studio execs in Hollywood to still be working. Whatever credit she gets for growing tits so big they need some sort of pulley-system for support, she loses for the way she wears her hips. Like what are those jeans about–is she aiming to look like a pregnant pear? I envied her body so bad as a kid when i saw “I still know you ran over me last summer and now i will kill you,” but today, not so much. It is as if her mission is to model maternity clothes all the time. If she is knocked up, she won’t need a C section because bitch has birthing hips a tractor would have no problem passing through.

This post was shitty but I don’t care because I am hungover and I want food and all I got is kechcup and prescription drugs lying around. I am also still a little bothered because dude from last night was a perv and my vagina got no play, but that is why god invented batteries.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell

EMAIL ME HERE


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2007

13

Jul

I am – Michelle Rodriguez with Boot Condom of the Day

3 Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Last night I got wrecked, because that is what i do (something Jesus and I founded our brief relationship upon, that and raw-dogging, because he could still get it up in those days and my wadge was excited to be a free bird now). So I went to the rooftop bar of this very expensive NYC hotel, chic but a step down from the place where Lohan likes to do a coked-out, writhing on the floor with no panties freak-out fest in, but I am an ex-hooker so i will settle for celebries’ sloppy seconds hot spots (i will even settle for a port-a-potty as long as there is booze). I either got 5 guys to buy me two drinks a piece, or 2 guys to buy me 5 drinks–it’s all a haze, so go figure. Point is I haven’t seen a penis-in-the-flesh in a while (a girl needs a break every now and then), so I stumbled back to this fairly decent banker-type’s apartment, knowing it was nicer than my converted store-front shithole, and he looked pretty clean, and not like a serial killer. Most of it is a blur from there, but I remember him whipping out his cock and asking if I would eat a graham cracker if he came on it. I said yes, but only if he did it first. He came on the graham cracker, took a bite of his homegrown butter, then handed it to me. I threw it on the floor, ground it into his plush white carpet with my heel, then ran outa there. All in all, it was a good night for me, a bad night for his carpet.

As for Michelle Rodriguez, she has a hardcore S&M boot condom on. Why? I think her lipstick girlfriend (who could do better) likes Michelle to give her the foot version of fisting, and makes her wear the wrapper because she suspects Mich contracted something during her 3 hour stay in prison (and i don’t mean splinters from being broomstick-banged). It is nice to know she wears the boot condom all the time for whenever the mood strikes, like probably in the bathroom of the starbucks they just came out of.

obediently yours,

Sugar Nell

EMAIL ME

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