DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2022

20

Apr

Madonna’s Freakish Panty Flash of the Day

Madonna may be old as shit, but she’s not going to let that dementia go to waste, she’s going to redirect back into her act, because either’s she’s totally fucking crazy, like a senile old bitch who is at the age of being a senile old bitch or she’s decided to take her artistry that was likely all ripped off from actual artists and turn herself into some Instagram filtered, bloated face, total fucking nightmare, that I guess is better than the alternative of being some old lady who ages gracefully…

The whole thing is desperate, vain, self deprecating, hilarious, sad, terrifying, social commentary made real life, depressing, and not very hot all at the same fucking time….it is Madonna…who even in her loserdom, she only has 18 million tiktok fans like she’s not Madonna…and really her panties were gross then, grosser now that she’s expired, despite all the clown work, but still worthy of a sniff…..even if it’s what nightmares are fucking made of….

Posted in:Madonna

2022

20

Apr

Weed Wednesday of the Day

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Happy 420 at 5:30 EST you fucking hippies…

It’s 420 o’clock somewhere you fucking hippies.

I used to get PAID to post weed shit, now I do it from the kindness of my heart because this is a fucking charity you fucking hippies.

Join my commune and give me 50 percent of your assets…you fucking hippies….

Smoke weed everyday, not just on 420….because there’s nothing more lame than people who get excited about 420 when you can be high all day everyday you fucking hippies.

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Posted in:Weed

2022

20

Apr

Charli XCX May Have Nipples of the Day

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Here’s some Charli XCX, who we’ve decided sold her soul to the devil over the COVID lull in humanity we all just experienced, because like all the billionaires, she came out of it better than fucking ever. She had a netflix show on her produced, she recorded an ALBUM, she dropped a series of slutty and demonic, SLUTMONIC – it’s a look, music videos….

I just find it weird, because she’s been around for at least 7-10 years and hasn’t managed to pull off any of those things, but all of a sudden people care about her tits, which I guess they’d have to since the rest of her is whatever as far as I’m concerned….

I don’t know what this glammed up photoshoot is for, all fancy with her background set, but I am pretty sure I saw nipple discoloration through her bra, and when you’re an old impotent pervert who hates porn, nipple discoloration through a shirt is the foundation of all things good. It’s our bread and butter…of yesteryear when nipple discoloration through a shirt was enough to make you cum your pants if it was happening in front of you. The good ol’ days.

Posted in:Charli XCX

2022

20

Apr

Workout Wednesday of the Day

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I do some FAT FUCK FRIDAY on a WEDNESDAY that we call “WEIGHT WATCHER WEDNESDAY”…

It’s my SARCASTIC POST, that isn’t for inclusivity, I just say it is, because IF you pretend to be WOKE they leave you alone and think you are on their side. SO CLEVER.

To off set the fat fucks I do FIT FUCKS for WORKOUT WEDNESDAY, not because I like body building bitches with the dick clits on, but you may, but I do like health and WELLNESS bitches who look like they don’t taste like diabetic necrosis or whatever the fuck it is called when your diabetes eats your pussy off like you’re Harvey Weinstein.

Fitness makes better lives for the fit and better jerk off material than the fat alternative during this time of an attack on fitness because they want everyone fat, FINALLY, I feel like I’m welcome to the topless beach club! Thank you inclusivity, I am still disgusting, but we can be disgusting together to move the bar on disgusting down some notches.

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Posted in:Workout

2022

20

Apr

Peyton Roi List Titty Top of the Day

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Peyton Roi List is the 19.8 million followed social media sensation who you probably never heard of and if you have, you’re either a fucking creeper or you’re 13 years old, in which case, get off the computer, it will RUIN your soul, but tell your friends about the site so that I can survive after the entire audience dies the fuck off because we are OLD internet.

Anyway, Peyton Roi List, the unknown super famous person is doing a direct to consumer collection of who fucking cares, so she’s likely the next billionaire…that’s how these things work, get followers, whether you are impressive or deserve them or not, then SELL them shit they don’t need to TAKE money from the BIG brands that are going to buy you out in 6-12 months when you’ve paid your fucking dues.

Quick and easy which should make you feel like a piece of trash for not being able to pay rent, right, but the good thing is using and manipulating her audience or not, having a huge audience or not, she’s still got her TITS out there rockin, as girl’s do, that’s why they have em.

Here she is in another titty top:

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Posted in:Peyton Roi List

2022

20

Apr

Weight Watcher Wednesday of the Day

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NO FATTIES ALLOWED….

I realize that we’re surrounded by fatness, you or someone you know may be fat…..if you’ve ever been to WALMART the lady in line in front of you was probably fat, the lady working the cash, definitely fat….it’s a PANDEMIC, an EPIDEMIC, but for whatever reason no one is talking about it, and if they are, they are coddling fat people like they are kids who just had a horrible accident and lost a leg…with “It’s ok, you’re beautiful, don’t listen to those fat jokes, they’ll come around”….instead of saying “lay off the cake you pig and hit the treadmill to walk those excess calories off”…which is unfortunate….because when you normalize unhealthy, and when unhealthy is easy to achieve, people will tend to just embrace it.

That won’t stop us from our FAT CHICK EMPOWERMENT post, we support FAT chicks in their quest to make smut like ABLE BODIED chicks, even if it’s gross….which reminds me of a meme I saw yesterday, sent by a friend named STEFAN who knows how I feel about fat chicks while he probably still fucks fat chicks….”What’s easier to pick up the heavier it gets…..FAT CHICKS…..”

Here’s the meme:

Here’s the fat chicks who have egos now and aren’t easier to pick up at all….

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Posted in:Fatty

2022

20

Apr

Candice Swanepoel Bodysuit of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel may still be one of the most boring models to come out of Victoria’s Secret, but I always viewed that as her being secure in herself and just happy making those millions a year from the brand, that there was no need to go above and beyond, get involved in attention generating drama, or trying to prove herself like Eugenics Girl Heidi Klum who needs to have her hand in everything, including herself, because her vagina from all those kids and a SEAL is probably quite destroyed…but I guess we’ll never know and I guess when your dick is small enough, and it is, all vaginas seem destoyed because you don’t connect with the walls for that coveted underrated FRICTION people talk about but that WE will never know.

She’s been hot, she’s still hot, even in her 30s, without her implants, after having a kid.

It could be post production optical illusions, but I’m fine with that and you should be too. The South African Farmer’s daughter who you know has slave ownership in her family history still has those model legs and I’m into it.

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Posted in:Candice Swanepeol

2022

20

Apr

Madison Reed Bikini of the Day

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Madison Reed is Victoria’Justice’s sister. They say she’s 25, but she looks about 40, but I gueess that’s just a common theme amongst ladies this era of internet thanks to FILLERS and FILTERS, the old look young, the young look old, and everyone collectively look like a muppet and not a real human.

I thought she was Victoria JUstice’s mom, so I’m not sure how that works….

But this one, is apparently 3 years younger than Justice, same mother from Florida, where it seems children are brought through the ranks of DISNEY’s underground bunkers and dropped off somewhere in LA to become influential idiots thanks to shitty youth programming that just makes the generation dumber and fucking dumber…it’s probably by design.

They all cart around their younger sisters, to give them a taste of the good life, and the younger sister never really amount to much besides doing only fans porno.

She’s doing ikini selfies for your to jerk off to and to stand out from all the othr bikini pics of instagram, you know a STOP THE SCROLL there’s a bikini pic amongst bikini pics….the modern day needle in a Haystack where the haystack is bikini pics….and the needle are bikini pics of quality you can jack off to, even if you shouldn’t becasue saving your life force gives you more testosterone …making a man out of you, rather than the cuck bitch you are thanks to chronic masturbation.

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Posted in:Madison Reed

2022

20

Apr

Pussy Wedgie Wednesday of the Day

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Cameltoes are pretty cool.

I was watching a show and saw a cameltoe on that show….I don’t remember what the show was since I don’t really pay attention, but short tight fitness shorts were involved and I saw basically full pussy in those short tight fitness shows….it definitely wasn’t from the Johnny Depp bullshit trial that I don’t even believe is in a real court house….maybe it was a youtube video of some self important narcissist telling me how important she is through her vagina, like it was some sort of CONDUIT or TELEGRAPH system…..we’ll call it EMF pussy…but either way, there was CAMELTOE and I thought to myself that I like cameltoe.,,they are cool. So much personality. Glad they are a trend that people have embraced like they did GAP KHAKIS in the 90s….which oftentimes ended up in cameltoe but not quit the same as all this SPANDEX cameltoes the generation faces mouth first today.

So here’s a round-up for the week of CAMELTOES I’ve come across on the internet of THINGS…