DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

16

Apr

I am – Steve Aoki Likes his Sister More than the Average Man Likes His Girlfriend of the Day

I don’t know how they do it at Benni Hannah, I don’t know how they do it in Japan. I don’t know how they do it in the club scene of L.A. and I don’t know how dudes who own streetwear companies choose the groupies they fuck, but I do know that this picture of Steve Aoki with his sister Devon Aoki makes me uncomfortable.

Sure, I have seen incest porn and have heard stories of farmers knocking up their sisters when they were teenagers because they were the only available pussy around when they were growing into themselves and learning about sex. I have heard of incest based towns all over the USA where the pickings were slim and the only way to keep the community going was to fuck your family, but that doesn’t make it right.

I was out at a bar the other night and I told a girl a story about the 20 year old I used to know from Germany. He lived in my hometown with his father and stepmother, but his biological mom was in Berlin running some fashion magazine. Dude would go visit her in the summers and when he was 15 his mom started fucking him. She was the impression that she created the perfect man from her own womb and that it was her right as his mother to fuck him.

I am not saying that Steve Aoki actually fucks his sister, but I am saying that he’s probably thought about it while circle jerking with DJ AM.

Posted in:L.A. Hipsters|Unsorted

2007

16

Apr

I am – Pam Anderson Nipple and Ass in a Bikini of the Day

51 Comments »

Here is Pam Anderson on the beach. She is with her kids and Tommy Lee and she’s looking a little dumpy, but not so bad for an STD ridden whore. I wrote all about her last week when she was in a bikini and I don’t feel like repeating myself, even though I am inconsistent and probably don’t agree with anything I said last week. If you want to read that post, go HERE . All I can say is at least she’s showing some nipple and implant ripple in her bikini that barely covers her cellulite ridden ass.

I like girls in bikinis, I used to go to the public pool and go for a swim just to see girls in bikinis because I fucking hate public pools but like bikinis. I hate public pools because they are like a tub full of every fucking disease possible, whether it be some kind of fungus, some kind of STD from all the people who sneak in at night, or some other shit that comes for every dirty motherfucker taking using it as a bath and a toilet at the same fucking time. Bust since I like bikinis and sometimes the only way to score some bikini watching is to bite the bullet and go public, not to mention the bitches who hang at public pools are usually too poor to afford their own pools making them easier to impress with a night out at McDonald’s.

Either way, I used to love when people would start taking the water in their mouths and spitting it at each other, knowing that I had just taken a piss where they were playing.

Posted in:Pamela Anderson|Unsorted

2007

16

Apr

I am – Jessica Biel is a Total Dyke of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are pictures of Jessica Biel going to church to try and figure shit out, I am pretty sure she’s making sure god loves her before actually announcing to the world that she eats pussy, even though her broad shoulders and pantsuit are pretty much doing the job for her. I know fags and all the fags I know did some serious soul searching before declaring they were faggot. Some joined the church, some went to therapy, while others sucked dick in the bathroom at a gay bar. Whether they chose to come out, decided it was a phase, or bottled that shit up, they still did it wearing women’s panties. So we know that Biel is halfway there.

I was at a party this weekend where 2 girls were dyking out in the dark corner. I was convinced that it would lead to some public finger banging, so I started watching. I was next to a hot chick who was doing the same, but for some reason, when they noticed they had an audience of two, they singled me out as the pervert, got up and invited the girl who was staring at them with me to an after party, before spitting in my face. Life’s not fair, except if you’re a lesbian. That’s the story I learned.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Unsorted

2007

14

Apr

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

11 Comments »

I just checked my email and some porn company is opening up an office in Montreal and offered me a chance to apply for a job with them. That would mean working with webmasters who run porn sites and trying to convince them to link to our porn galleries instead of the million of others out there.

Reality is, I am pretty lovely on the internet and this could probably be a dream job but the concept of working depresses me.

If I had a job – I wouldn’t have to drop the Donate Here button to help me pay off a 1500 dollar bill. My paycheck could pay off my debt, but if I had a job, this site would no longer exist…

Which wouldn’t matter because people who read this site don’t care enough about it to even throw a dollar my way….Out of all 20 of you, 5 cared enough to help me out and that’s not a very convincing ratio to keep this site running.

Say hello to the future porn affiliate manager for another company. Cuddles and Here are my links.

Lohan’s Trip To Japan – 40 Pictures to Jerk Off To
GO

Laughing News Reporter
GO

Hot Lesbian Video That Isn’t That Hot…
GO

Jennifer Lopez on American Idol
GO

Vintage Katie Holmes Singing on Dawson’s Creek
GO

Fleshflick – Dwarf Pretending to be a Baby Banging a Girl in the Ass and People Call this Site NSFW – Fuckers
GO

World’s Oldest Rock Band
GO

Ignore the Caption This Contest Cuz It’s Lame, But Focus on these Wedding Pics
GO

Jennifer Hawkins has Legs
GO

Amazing Clown Porn Video
GO

Angelina Jolie Posing and Lookin’ Hot
GO

Random Girls Making Out Compilation Because I am a Frat Boy
GO

Rave in the Dead Sea With Girls Who Make Out With Dogs and Get Topless
GO

Weird Handjob Song Choice – NSFW Cuz There’s Cock in It
GO

Carolina Ribeiro Is a Brazilan Posing
GO

I’m a Real Gangsta From Some Weird Country Video
GO

Hot Teeth
GO

Melissa Joan Hart’s Bicycle Ass
GO

Jennifer Garner Lingerie Scene
GO

Anna Kournikova Insured Her Breasts
GO

Abigail Clancy is an America’s Next Top Model That Got Kicked Off, Here she is on the Beach
GO

Juliette Lewis is a Wreck and Her Nipples Perform
GO

Maraka TV Funhouse, Even Though I Hate SNL
GO

Some Ho Named Sofia Zamolo
GO

Eva Herzigova Posing to Bore You
GO

More Aiseleyne Horgan-Wallce Lookin Like a Whore
GO

Jessica Simpson Camping Photoshoot to Jerk Off To
GO

The Tattooed Granny for you to Jerk Off To
GO

Jennifer Garner Looks like a Dyke
GO

Jessica Biel’s See Through Sweater
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Lauren Conrad Sex Tape Update
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Debbie Does Dallas Again Update
GO

Trish Stratus is a Wrestler Posing
GO

Pete Doherty and Kate Moss Update
GO

Jordan on the Charlotte Church Show
GO

How to Jerk Off an Elephant Video
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

13

Apr

I am – stepSHIRT Fan Video of the Day

1 Comment »

My shirt is cooler than I am. This is a fan video that was sent into an amateur porn site I frequent because watching people have sex is something I am into and no porn can really compete with. I am not going to lie, this video made me feel like I had a fan when I got it and it means that someone out there wears my shitty merch. I generally get no traffic and no emails telling me how much I am loved and this changed all that. I felt all warm and fuzzy as a motherfucker molests a sleeping girl in a stepSHIRT. Watch it for yourself and tell your friends.

Someone told me that if I want to make it in the celebrity blog world, I’d have to clean this site up. This is my attempt at doing that. I’m on my way to PG baby…..

Visit Julie’s Room for all your amateur porn needs…

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

13

Apr

I am – Fat Chick Does a Blowjob Shot of the Day

58 Comments »

I was told that whenever I am around the conversation always goes back to sex. I try to explain that happens because I am pretty sexually frustrated and haven’t had a real vagina in over 6 years now. Sometimes I pass ziplock baggies full of rotting in them on the sidewalk and think to myself that that shit would probably be a hot fuck…

This is a video taken of a fat chick doing a blowjob shot in a bar. It made me laugh so I decided to share because sharing is what we are here for, now feel free to share pictures of your ex girlfriends or current girlfriends with me because writing this blog is lonely sometimes….

You’d think that a hefty bitch would know how to give a fucking blowjob considering guys have probably been taking advantage of her and playing off her insecurities since she was 14 landing them the best blowjobs of their life and giving her 2 minutes of gratification, you know feeling like she’s wanted. You’d also think that a fat chick would never miss the chance to take in as many calories as she can by not letting anything in front of her go uneaten, but reality is that sometimes things don’t happen like they are supposed to.

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

13

Apr

I am – Geri Halliwell’s Ass of the Day

1 Comment »

I have a thing for older ladies who have kids and over compensate by losing a lot of weight making them better to look at than they were before having kids. Unfortunately, most girls let themselves go because pregnancy makes them fat and lazy and they never fucking bounce back, that’s why you gotta watch out who you knock up, not that you really have a chance, at the rate things are going, your family name ends with you, because you have to have sex to knock a bitch up and donating sperm doesn’t fucking count because you never know where that shit ended up, for all you know some science lap is hybrid breeding donkeys and you.

Either way, I am all about older bitches because they are menopausal, and menopausal means they can’t get pregnant, and not getting pregnant means no condom, and no condom means good times. Not to mention they are pretty eager to slam because they are all mid-life crisis ridden trying to prove they still have sex appeal. I guess that’s where this piece of shit post ends…

Posted in:Geri Halliwell|Ginger Spice|Unsorted

2007

13

Apr

I am – Geri Halliwell's Ass of the Day

No Comments »

I have a thing for older ladies who have kids and over compensate by losing a lot of weight making them better to look at than they were before having kids. Unfortunately, most girls let themselves go because pregnancy makes them fat and lazy and they never fucking bounce back, that’s why you gotta watch out who you knock up, not that you really have a chance, at the rate things are going, your family name ends with you, because you have to have sex to knock a bitch up and donating sperm doesn’t fucking count because you never know where that shit ended up, for all you know some science lap is hybrid breeding donkeys and you.

Either way, I am all about older bitches because they are menopausal, and menopausal means they can’t get pregnant, and not getting pregnant means no condom, and no condom means good times. Not to mention they are pretty eager to slam because they are all mid-life crisis ridden trying to prove they still have sex appeal. I guess that’s where this piece of shit post ends…

Posted in:Geri Halliwell|Ginger Spice|Unsorted

2007

13

Apr

I am – Paris Hilton Upskirt of the Day

55 Comments »

I was talking to someone today about how the older this bitch gets the more she looks like a dude. She always had the feet the size of a basketball player and I never really bothered taking it as a sign, but now it’s hard to miss, especially when she’s got more bulge in her panties than I do when I wear women’s clothing. I don’t do it because I get off to it, I do it because times are tough and my wife got fat leaving all kinds of panties that are in my size, so being a practical person, I figured why the fuck bother buying new shit when we had perfectly good ones lying around, not to mention they make me feel pretty and a guy is allowed to feel pretty sometimes by my rules.

Either way, here’s a Paris upskirt to get you through your day. Cuddles.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

13

Apr

I am – Joss Stone Tending Bar of the Day

2 Comments »

This is today’s fetish post, because any girl pouring a drink is something worth getting off to. I always had a thing for girls behind a bar. It is mainly because I am an alcoholic and the woman who brings me and my love together is pretty much my personal savior. The other reason I like barmaids is because they are hot, wear low cut shirt and tight short skirts trying to seduce me into tipping them. They also have no choice but to talk to me so I get to drop all my insanity on them in one night of drinking and they just smile and nod making me feel like a star.

Joss Stone is obviously doing this as some sort of publicity stunt I don’t fucking understand but I don’t get out much so maybe it all makes sense to you. I was hoping that her career after singing involved more public penis in vagina action, but maybe it’s too soon to ask for that much…give the bitch some time.

Posted in:Joss Stone|Unsorted