DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

13

Mar

I am – Princess Madeleine Bikini Pics of the Day

I have always considered myself to be one of the classier perverts that I know because I don’t actually act on some of the shit I talk about, because I am impotent. I’ll stick with the classy act though because it makes me feel a little better about myself, a rags to riches story like Kelly Pickler in American Idol but without the riches part because I can’t a pot to shit in, hell, I can’t even afford the food it takes to lead to the shit that would end up in the pot I can’t afford, but I am still classy, or at least as classy as a guy in a empty bag of potato chip filled 1 bedroom apartment on a plywood couch can be.

Point of this is to say that I am not classy enough to seduce the cunt of this hot Swedish Princess who I think could be heir to the throne but since I’ve never heard of her, so you can show her how much you care by throwing her in the back of your van and hold her for ransom, it’ll be like this was one of them hollywood pictures, I’ll just keep sitting on my plywood couch lookin’ at her pics because it’s a little more up my alley as far as effort and planning goes….

Is it illegal to say you want to kidnap someone, even if it’s just a joke? I have a feeling it is and I will let you know…but that doesn’t change the fact that this chick’s got a pretty dumpy ass…you think she could get off her royal ass and hit the royal gym…

Posted in:Royalty|Unsorted

2007

12

Mar

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

3 Comments »

It’s one of those days where everything starts off amazing. I woke up in the corner of my bedroom floor dripping with sweat and shaking like I was coming off of heroin. I then checked my mail to find a check made out to be for 2 cents. I am really happy this site provides so much for my family. What the fuck can I do with 2 cents. I was thinking that even I am too embarrassed to bring that shit to the bank for fear of being laughed out of the place, then I realized that beggars can’t be choosers so I cashed the fucker. I wish I had my camera because it was a fucking daydream…

Here are some links for you to click on while I try to remember the last week of activity and see if I can find some funny shit to tell you cunts later….

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

12

Mar

I am – Keira Knightley Sinful Comics of the Day

1 Comment »

I got a few emails about how Disney is freaking out about Keira Knightley’s Sinful Comics. I figured I’d post it as a service to you fucks who have been jerking off to Anime, Star Wars and Wonder Woman for the last 30 fucking years of your life. You’re the kind of dude that makes your sex dolls dress up in a mask and cape and your fantasy is for her to have super blowjob powers…too bad she’s made of plastic….

Here are the Keira Knightley Galleries that everyone is talking about…I don’t know how anyone could jerk off to this shit, but you’re welcome.

Keira Sinful Comics 1
GO

Keira Sinful Comics 2
GO

Keira Sinful Comics 3
GO

Keira Sinful Comics 4
GO

Keira Sinful Comics 5
GO

Posted in:Keira Knightley|Unsorted

2007

12

Mar

I am – Hilary Duff in Concert of the Day

4 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Hilary Duff in concert because I am too lazy to post anything worth looking at, it takes effort and effort is something I don’t think I have to give right now, not that you care, you selfish piece of shit just using me to get through your day….

Anyway, here Hilary Duff looks a little sluttier than ever and sluttier means better where I am from. I never really figured out why, but I guess it’s got something to do with the fact that I judge the book by the cover and have no interest wasting my time with some prude girl who turn out is a virgin who doesn’t suck dick….even though mot girls who put their boxes out there have daddy issues an G-strings and don’t know how to use what they got cuz they are too drunk or too busy crying while pretending to enjoy themselves…

I guess what I think doesn’t really matter, just click the pics and how she rocks the mic better than you can rock your own dick…

Posted in:Hilary Duff|Unsorted

2007

12

Mar

I am – Lohan Has Lunch With Her Mom of the Day

7 Comments »

So it’s just my luck where I transfer over to a new server less than a week ago and they decide to shut down shop and go bankrupt on my ass after paying them pretty much all the money I had access too from returning beer bottles and stealing my wife’s credit card. I am one of those guys that everything I touch turns to shit, except actual shit because that is already shit.

Speaking of shit, here are some pictures of Lohan to start up the new day provided the server ever starts working again, with her new hair that is the same color as my shit, but only because I have liver failure and my shit is always yellow, not that you want to hear about my shit…

Reality is, Lohan and her mother probably both have liver disease too, which makes them like an extended internet family who don’t know I exist. Either way, Lohan could be wearing a helmet filled with homeless man shit found in random bus shelters for hair and I’d still want her herpes ridden box, but that’s only because I am into scat, have no standards and I am sure I could convince Lohan to shit on my face…she’s just that kind of girl. My kind of girl….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted

2007

12

Mar

I am – Elisha Cuthbert is Fat of the Day

52 Comments »

One man’s anus is another man’s vagina. That’s my new expression that pretty much means the same thing as the expression I took it from. In this case, ditch pig Elisha Cuthbert is the kind of girl I’d only bang in the ass because girls who take it up the ass are hard to come by and by come I don’t actually mean cum because I haven’t had an orgasm in about 2 years.

But if her ass was on a platter begging for my dick, it’s just something you don’t pass up, even when you are impotent, but not because she is famous, but because it’s anal sex and so many girls are anti anal sex…so if the semi retarded chick with Syphilis offered up her ass, I’d find a way to take it…

I know Cuthbert is the kind of girl that you would fall in love with and take home to your mother and go down on for days upon days even though she’s gained 40 lbs and looks like Porky Pig and tastes like Paris Hildon but you’ve been waiting for pretty much anyone to say yes to a date with you for the last 14 years….You’re tired of your family asking you if you’re gay when you’re really just a virgin.

I guess all I am trying to say is that bitch should lay off the fucking french fries and pie because she was kinda hot at one point in time by my standards, which isn’t saying much. CUDDLES.

I HAD TO TAKE DOWN THE PICTURES BECAUSE I WAS THREATENED TO GET SUED BUT TRUST ME ELISHA CUTHBERT IS FAT

Here are some Paris Hilton and Cuthbert Shopping…They are New Found Friends

I HAD TO TAKE DOWN THE PICTURES BECAUSE I WAS THREATENED TO GET SUED BUT TRUST ME ELISHA CUTHBERT IS FAT

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert|Unsorted

2007

12

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera’s Orgasm Face of the Day

1 Comment »

The site seems to be working, I think it was better for the world when it was down. Being down really doesn’t have that much of an impact on me because I really only have about 15 readers and I don’t really give a fuck about you anyway, otherwise I’d be running a mainstream site and trying to make money that way. I was told by some dude they make 1000 dollars a fucking day….that dude wasn’t me, I am too stupid or that, I putting days of writing into this site doesn’t pay the fucking bills and I am pretty sure it won’t be opening any doors for me but that’s ok, I can open my own doors, but my wife can’t because she is too fat to fit through the door.

I was at a coffee shop getting a blueberry tea because it has natural anti-depressants in it and overheard a rich 15 year old talking to her dad about how her friend’s dad has 2 Range Rovers and that he only has one. She was mocking him like he was a failure and the dad got up in a fit of shame and said he was going to call Mike and get a second Range Rover too.

It reminded me of when I worked at Bar Mitzvah’s operating the Mechanical Bull before getting fired. I’d end up at these 400,000 dollar events that you know were only that much because Daddy wanted to upstage the neighbor. It’s this competitive streak I will never understand, but that’s probably because I can’t even afford a bus ticket.

Speaking of Rich and Jewish people who like to upstage the neighbors here are some pics of Christina Aguilera looking like she’s having an Orgasm from last night. I doubt her husband makes her cum, even though he is rumored to have a huge cock, because he’s probably too busy counting his money and bragging to his neighbor’s about how much better she is than their haggard high school sweethearts that they ended up with.

Here are some Unknown Photoshoot Pics Floating Around…

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Unsorted

2007

12

Mar

I am – Christina Aguilera's Orgasm Face of the Day

1 Comment »

The site seems to be working, I think it was better for the world when it was down. Being down really doesn’t have that much of an impact on me because I really only have about 15 readers and I don’t really give a fuck about you anyway, otherwise I’d be running a mainstream site and trying to make money that way. I was told by some dude they make 1000 dollars a fucking day….that dude wasn’t me, I am too stupid or that, I putting days of writing into this site doesn’t pay the fucking bills and I am pretty sure it won’t be opening any doors for me but that’s ok, I can open my own doors, but my wife can’t because she is too fat to fit through the door.

I was at a coffee shop getting a blueberry tea because it has natural anti-depressants in it and overheard a rich 15 year old talking to her dad about how her friend’s dad has 2 Range Rovers and that he only has one. She was mocking him like he was a failure and the dad got up in a fit of shame and said he was going to call Mike and get a second Range Rover too.

It reminded me of when I worked at Bar Mitzvah’s operating the Mechanical Bull before getting fired. I’d end up at these 400,000 dollar events that you know were only that much because Daddy wanted to upstage the neighbor. It’s this competitive streak I will never understand, but that’s probably because I can’t even afford a bus ticket.

Speaking of Rich and Jewish people who like to upstage the neighbors here are some pics of Christina Aguilera looking like she’s having an Orgasm from last night. I doubt her husband makes her cum, even though he is rumored to have a huge cock, because he’s probably too busy counting his money and bragging to his neighbor’s about how much better she is than their haggard high school sweethearts that they ended up with.

Here are some Unknown Photoshoot Pics Floating Around…

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Unsorted

2007

11

Mar

I am – Jessica Alba’s Old Tits of the Day

8 Comments »

This is a video of Alba’s tits from 2003. I have a feeling it’s a body double, but who really gives a fuck either way, Alba has a pretty bangin’ body, and even if it isn’t her you can just pretend it is. You have been pretending that she’s your girlfriend for the last 5 years when jerking off anyway….and the chances that these are actually her tits are a lot higher than the chances of her ever getting her bang on with your fat ass….Loser…

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Unsorted

2007

11

Mar

I am – Jessica Alba's Old Tits of the Day

No Comments »

This is a video of Alba’s tits from 2003. I have a feeling it’s a body double, but who really gives a fuck either way, Alba has a pretty bangin’ body, and even if it isn’t her you can just pretend it is. You have been pretending that she’s your girlfriend for the last 5 years when jerking off anyway….and the chances that these are actually her tits are a lot higher than the chances of her ever getting her bang on with your fat ass….Loser…

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Unsorted