I don’t have any fucking idea how TMZ finds this shit. I don’t understand how these shit videos hit the internet years after they were taken and somehow AOL picks gets their hands on it. It’s like they are watching all of us all the time. They have access to our emails and all of our instant messaging history, they even have a cellphone tie in so they know who you are sending pics and videos to. They are waiting for you to become famous so they can exploit you to the world and get even bigger and break all the stories before any of the celeb blogs making them all obsolete because they don’t deserve to have businesses because they are not authorities they are just too lazy get a real job.

That’s not the point, the point is that all you really need in life is a good friend with a MD who cares more enough about having a good time and playing with big ol’ titties that the Hippocratic Oath. When you spend your life sitting in front of text books, letting the party pass you by, missing out on blowjobs and bitches flashing they titties, it’s pretty easy to win your brown ass over and get you writing scripts for the team. So my advice to you is to not make fun of the geek studying in the corner of your classroom, but to befriend him and stick by him through med school, then corrupt the motherfucker with fun nights getting fucked up on pills that he prescribes because he’s tired of not living.

Anna Nicole found that doctor, and she’s a better person for it.

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Pantyhose fetishes make me laugh. I was talking to some girl the other day and asked her for nude pics. She told me that she didn’t do nudes and that she only takes pics for her internet boyfriend, a guy who I wasn’t. Since she refused to send the pics she already had because she felt like she would be wronging some dude she was internet dating and internet in love with from across the country, I asked her to describe them to me, kinda like my whole describe your Vagina and decribe it in 10 words or less scam. It was just an easy way to know what was going on down there, and this was an easy way to find out how dirty this girl was…she told me that dude was only into pics of her from the waist down in pantyhose and socks from all kinds of angles. I was couldn’t figure out how that was hot, even though I am a pervert and anything that is a girl is hot, except maybe my wife (even on a good day). Needless to say, I blocked and deleted this girl because our internet affair would only end up in pics like these pics of Lohan, which I know are 4 days old and that I linked to in my stepLINKS 4 days ago. Asshole. I am pretty aware of how bad I am at blogging. Cuddles.

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Here are some pics of Jordan pregnant again and she is in a bikini because she has huge fake tits. This isn’t the first time she’s been knocked up because she is loose in the hips like you’d expect from a girl with huge fake tits.

Pregnancy fetishes make me laugh. I was talking to some girl the other day and asked her for nude pics. She told me that she didn’t do nudes unless she was pregnant. She had 3 kids and had done these artistic nudes 3 times before. I asked her for the pictures so that I could turn art into porn and she wasn’t having it. She told me that they were blown up and hung-up in the living room and that there was no way I’d get my hands on them.

Now I am not an authority on this shit because I have never banged a pregnant chick that I know of and I have never jerked off to ready to drop porn that I know of but I do know what I see on Oprah and that is that dudes usually hire hookers when their wives are knocked up and only bang them when they really have to out of guilt and as a way to shut their wives up from the constant complaining and nagging about whether they are still attractive.

Point being that if every time dude wants to watch TV or read the newspaper on his couch, he’ll have to look at 3 pictures of his knocked up wife reminding him of a time she totally grossed him out sexually. And with that image scarred into his brain, everytime she wants to fuck you you’ll see those pictures and everytime you see those pictures you think of the hospital room when you saw a baby ravage his way through the box you’re about to dip into….

I love the concept of pregnancy, it is beautiful and a pretty solid aspect of nature and girls do look hot when pregnant especially my neighbor who is about to pop but still rockin’ size 25 jeans, but I have never been married to a pregnant chick and I thought my commentary was as good as it gets. Hey ladies, this last paragraph was for you, see I am a sensitive guy, send me an email sometime…and by email I mean can you touch your toes… I always ruin the moment….but maybe my size 25 jean comment ruined the moment…

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Here are some pics of Jordan pregnant again and she is in a bikini because she has huge fake tits. This isn’t the first time she’s been knocked up because she is loose in the hips like you’d expect from a girl with huge fake tits.

Pregnancy fetishes make me laugh. I was talking to some girl the other day and asked her for nude pics. She told me that she didn’t do nudes unless she was pregnant. She had 3 kids and had done these artistic nudes 3 times before. I asked her for the pictures so that I could turn art into porn and she wasn’t having it. She told me that they were blown up and hung-up in the living room and that there was no way I’d get my hands on them.

Now I am not an authority on this shit because I have never banged a pregnant chick that I know of and I have never jerked off to ready to drop porn that I know of but I do know what I see on Oprah and that is that dudes usually hire hookers when their wives are knocked up and only bang them when they really have to out of guilt and as a way to shut their wives up from the constant complaining and nagging about whether they are still attractive.

Point being that if every time dude wants to watch TV or read the newspaper on his couch, he’ll have to look at 3 pictures of his knocked up wife reminding him of a time she totally grossed him out sexually. And with that image scarred into his brain, everytime she wants to fuck you you’ll see those pictures and everytime you see those pictures you think of the hospital room when you saw a baby ravage his way through the box you’re about to dip into….

I love the concept of pregnancy, it is beautiful and a pretty solid aspect of nature and girls do look hot when pregnant especially my neighbor who is about to pop but still rockin’ size 25 jeans, but I have never been married to a pregnant chick and I thought my commentary was as good as it gets. Hey ladies, this last paragraph was for you, see I am a sensitive guy, send me an email sometime…and by email I mean can you touch your toes… I always ruin the moment….but maybe my size 25 jean comment ruined the moment…

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I just had a fight with my Sri Lanka cigar vendor down the street. He’s trying to charge me 2 dollars more than he’s supposed to for my shitty cigars. I am not made of money so I told him to fuck himself. Even if I was made of money, I wouldn’t give it to him because let’s face it, motherfuckers who don’t know how to count don’t deserve my business….Now I have no cigars and I am sitting here looking at the wall excited for tomorrow when I can get more cigars….

I’d say that in the meantime maybe I’ll check out my links, but since I wrote this, I guess I’ve already seen at least 1/2 of these.

I got one of my first fan mail letters today, which may keep me inspired to keep the site up another day….This is it….

I read your site, even though you are clearly suffering from a variety of psychological disorders and, as a result, are really quite creepy.

Nevertheless, somehow you have channeled your creepiness into humor and, despite your unignorable mysoginism (sp? come on, it’s late, you know what i mean) you can be really funny. no really–you crack my ass up!

If you live in NYC, i would lke to meet you, but only in a crowded public place in broad daylight with my fully-charged cell in hand.

Here are my links…

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There’s nothing hotter than watching some Spanish chick leaving the gym, other than watching some hot Spanish girl get herself off because you know if she cares enough about running on a treadmill, she probably takes the time to maintain her pussy proper. I am probably only drawn to these leaving the gym pictures because my wife is morbidly obese and you always want what you don’t have. I used to hear this expression that even Cindy Crawford’s husband was jerking off to girls who weren’t CIndy Crawford, even when all you fuckers were jerking off to CIndy Crawford instead of your own girlfriend. I know that Cindy Crawford makes for a shitty analogy since she was hot 15 years ago, but you understand what I am talking about….even though you don’t have a girlfriend so my whole post should be deleted. I just don’t like editing, it takes too much work, so if you just read that and feel a little confused, just look at the Penelope Cruz leaving the gym pics and get your fat ass inspired while you eat that box of donuts….Loser.

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I don’t know when these were taking, but whenever a bitch rocks these thigh high boots I have no choice but to post them. Some of my favorite lap dances came from bitches rockin’ these, I went through a phase when I was into that kinda of stripper. I am talking textbook stripper. If you don’t know what I mean, you gotta spend more time in a strip club, but I will break it down like this, you have textbook strippers who have the shitty cheap lingerie and boots like these on, fake tits and plastic lips. They walk around the club like they are celebrities and they you owe them a favor even when you pay them for a dance. They are lazy and uninteresting to watch, but for some reason if they aren’t in the club, you leave feeling ripped off. The other strippers are young chicks who date black drug dealers who tell them to strip cuz they want their gfs to be strippers, it suits their lifestyle and makes them feel like they are hip hop, or single mom’s, addicts trying to fuel their addiction, or the rare girl who claims she’s a student and plays the cute angle, sometimes there’s the goth chick and sometimes theres the failed dance student who couldn’t make it cuz her tits were too big. Either way, these boots bring back some memories of me wasting the little money I have and I just burnt my lip with my cheap cigar I can’t afford. I blame you…

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I don’t know when these were taking, but whenever a bitch rocks these thigh high boots I have no choice but to post them. Some of my favorite lap dances came from bitches rockin’ these, I went through a phase when I was into that kinda of stripper. I am talking textbook stripper. If you don’t know what I mean, you gotta spend more time in a strip club, but I will break it down like this, you have textbook strippers who have the shitty cheap lingerie and boots like these on, fake tits and plastic lips. They walk around the club like they are celebrities and they you owe them a favor even when you pay them for a dance. They are lazy and uninteresting to watch, but for some reason if they aren’t in the club, you leave feeling ripped off. The other strippers are young chicks who date black drug dealers who tell them to strip cuz they want their gfs to be strippers, it suits their lifestyle and makes them feel like they are hip hop, or single mom’s, addicts trying to fuel their addiction, or the rare girl who claims she’s a student and plays the cute angle, sometimes there’s the goth chick and sometimes theres the failed dance student who couldn’t make it cuz her tits were too big. Either way, these boots bring back some memories of me wasting the little money I have and I just burnt my lip with my cheap cigar I can’t afford. I blame you…

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I hate people who go to rehab, because addictive personalities need addiction to survive and addictive personalities who have addictions that make them fun like liquor, drugs and sex are people I like to be around. People with obscure post-addiction addictions are boring as shit with their addiction to the bible, not having sex, not drinking and chain smoking with other addicts in coffee shops at 4 am. So I figure it’s better to rave to the grave than be a total cunt everyone hates.

Speaking of cunt, these are outdated Britney Spears in rehab pics. She shaved her head because K-Fed told her they could find out she was a drug fiend by taking a hair sample. So she went insane on herself.

I am sure you’re hearing enough about this on every other lame blog, and I know these pics are already all over the internet, I am slow, get used to it. If you really wanna bitch to someone, tell your friends how slow I am on stories and maybe those motherfuckers will come visit my site to see if you are telling the truthand boost my motherfucking traffic…..Unfortunately, I know you don’t have friends.

UPDATE – Britney’s left rehab again – already – amazing.

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