I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

25

May

I am – Ashlee Simpson Boxes of the Day

I guess it all makes sense now. Bitch gets her nose done because she’s droppin a new album like Britney drops babies. I like how people try to revamp their image when they are about to do something big, like get married, release an album, sell a house, change jobs. Whatever it is in their lives they think they need to modify the old and bring out the polished new version. Look at Ashlee in these pics, she’s got a new face, new hair, someone said something about new tits a while ago, but I can’t tell from these pics, and it’s all to sell more albums because of an inferiority complex of having Jessica Simspon suceed when Ashlee was too young to. I was watching Richard Pryor, Live on Sunset Strip last night because someone told me Pryor changed comedy and that I had to watch it and shit….anyway this fuckin’ DVD is from after his drug addiciton, so it’s all introspective and shit. He refused to drop the n-word and the whole time he reflects on life. I didn’t laugh once…I’ll admit I am not a laugher, but I didn’t even laugh on the inside once. Point of the story is that changing your image or the shit you say will never mask how much you really suck. If you paint an old run down house, it’s still a run down house, that was pretty fucking deep. Admit it.

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2006

25

May

I am – Katherine McPhee’s Cleavage of the Day

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I am posting these because she lost American Idol yesterday, and I put myself through the hell that was watching the finale. It was mainly because I only have one channel, the Oprah, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, American Idol channel, but I am not making excuses. I am also not going to write about how the show was a promotional tool to sell tickets for their upcoming tour. I am also not going to go into why all these musicians were on the show singing duets with the Idols, other than a publicity stunt. The last time I heard both LIVE and MEATLOAF was in 1990. I will mention that Clay Aiken looks like Fall Out Boy, I guess that’s the new look in the gay scene, or the look in the emo scene to mask one’s sexuality…his duet was jokes, mainly because there are other red-headed faggots who sing out there. I thought he came himself when Aiken showed up, I have a feeling they fucked after the show, like Sonny and Cher used to…I guess other than that, the highlight of the show was McPhee’s Cleavage. Cleavage is one of those things I can always fall back on to make anything good. I came from an era where cleavage was taboo and bitches rocked turtlenecks, so it would still get me hard, provided I could get hard….First post of the day, and I was as painful to write as it was to read. Cuddles.




Bonus – Watch Clay Aiken and His Boyfriend Sing

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2006

25

May

I am – Katherine McPhee's Cleavage of the Day

KatherineMcPheeTITSTOP.jpg

I am posting these because she lost American Idol yesterday, and I put myself through the hell that was watching the finale. It was mainly because I only have one channel, the Oprah, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, American Idol channel, but I am not making excuses. I am also not going to write about how the show was a promotional tool to sell tickets for their upcoming tour. I am also not going to go into why all these musicians were on the show singing duets with the Idols, other than a publicity stunt. The last time I heard both LIVE and MEATLOAF was in 1990. I will mention that Clay Aiken looks like Fall Out Boy, I guess that’s the new look in the gay scene, or the look in the emo scene to mask one’s sexuality…his duet was jokes, mainly because there are other red-headed faggots who sing out there. I thought he came himself when Aiken showed up, I have a feeling they fucked after the show, like Sonny and Cher used to…I guess other than that, the highlight of the show was McPhee’s Cleavage. Cleavage is one of those things I can always fall back on to make anything good. I came from an era where cleavage was taboo and bitches rocked turtlenecks, so it would still get me hard, provided I could get hard….First post of the day, and I was as painful to write as it was to read. Cuddles.




Bonus – Watch Clay Aiken and His Boyfriend Sing

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2006

25

May

I am – Links that Stinks of the Day

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Taylor Hicks won American Idol. I’d like to say that Katherine McPhee had great tits. Yes, I know she’s chubby. I’d also like to say hello to my Mexican Internet girlfriend and her fake boyfriend. She’s not so chubby. I’d also like to send a shout out to DrunkenStepSteve for his daily email none of you get.

If you have any links send them in…..here are links I found.

Girl Getting Naked in the Club
Britney When We Wanted to Bang Her (I still do…)
She’s Naked and Posing and So Am I (she is hotter than me…)
Borat Recreating That Famous Internet Picture (I hate Borat)
Last Year Sophie Marceau Had a Nip Slip
Christina Aguilera is Drunk and has a Nice Rack
Elena Santarelli: The most beautiful girl in the world! (I like nipple)
Wives Heaven: a New Sexy Site(I like Sexy Sites)
Girls Stripping Video(I like Strippers)
Howard Stern Measures Tits
Topless Oil Wrestling is Not That Hot

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2006

24

May

I am – Kristen Bell Doesn’t Eat Animals

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This is the girl that is in that show Veronica Mars. I have never seen the show, but would start if she wore this outfit while playing with a dog the whole time. She was named one of the sexiest vegetarians of the year. That means she doesn’t eat meat, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t eat my meat. That was a bad vegetarian joke that just ruined this post, but it’s okay, I am sure it has ruined many dates involving a dinner and a hot girl who is doesn’t eat meat and a jock trying to be funny and get in her pants. You know the “Hey Baby, i hope you eat my meat”….. That’s where this vegetarian discussion ends.

I went to my nutritionist today, yes I have a nutritionist because I am fat and have liver problems from drinking, and she helps make me a menu that I never follow, but that’s not the point, point is that on the way, I saw a fat highschool girl eating a KFC burger at 2:30 PM. She was waiting for the bus. It was obvious that she had already eaten breakfast, lunch and now this KFC burger was a pre-going home snack, only to go home to eat another snack and then maybe dinner and dessert…..and another snack before bed. I had something funny to say about that, but completely forget what it was. So I guess I’ll just end this post now.



Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

24

May

I am – Kristen Bell Doesn't Eat Animals

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This is the girl that is in that show Veronica Mars. I have never seen the show, but would start if she wore this outfit while playing with a dog the whole time. She was named one of the sexiest vegetarians of the year. That means she doesn’t eat meat, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t eat my meat. That was a bad vegetarian joke that just ruined this post, but it’s okay, I am sure it has ruined many dates involving a dinner and a hot girl who is doesn’t eat meat and a jock trying to be funny and get in her pants. You know the “Hey Baby, i hope you eat my meat”….. That’s where this vegetarian discussion ends.

I went to my nutritionist today, yes I have a nutritionist because I am fat and have liver problems from drinking, and she helps make me a menu that I never follow, but that’s not the point, point is that on the way, I saw a fat highschool girl eating a KFC burger at 2:30 PM. She was waiting for the bus. It was obvious that she had already eaten breakfast, lunch and now this KFC burger was a pre-going home snack, only to go home to eat another snack and then maybe dinner and dessert…..and another snack before bed. I had something funny to say about that, but completely forget what it was. So I guess I’ll just end this post now.



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2006

24

May

I am – stepMUSIC: Van Morrison

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My long time friend Grover has got another tribute to another musical artist none of you care about, but it’s not about you, it’s about Grover trying to get his word out there….a word that none of you care about, but it’s better than having him kill himself.

For those of you who don’t like Van Morrison, you must be crazy . He is the best artist of ALL time. My ex-wife and I used to listen to Astral Weeks often, but the best Van song and possibly the best song EVER recorded was “T.B. Sheets� off his debut solo album, Blowin’ Your Mind!. It’s about Van going to a lover’s house who has tuberculosis (the lover not the house). Van has to open her windows, smells the disease on her sheets, and then denies her a glass of water because he has to be on his way. It’s almost 10 minutes of a grueling conversation that “numbs my brains.� I listen to this song quite often after work on repeat until I have finished my bottle of wine and smoked a half pack of cigarettes out on the porch, thinking of the life I could have provided my ex-wife had she stuck around. Scorsese also used this song in his movie “Bringing Out The Dead� which I saw recently. It stars Patricia Arquette, whose face now pollutes my brain. I’m sure a lot has been said about her teeth, so I won’t mention that but something else about her makes me very angry that I can’t explain. Oh well, I’m sure she’s a great woman, proven in by the way she supports that pre-op tranvestite brother of hers. I guess philanthropic efforts overshadow an ugly face.

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Here is Van Morrison’s T.B. Sheets mp3 (right click, save it to keep it)


Bonus (kinda):
A Link to Some Patricia Arquette Topless Pics

Posted in:stepMUSIC|Unsorted

2006

24

May

I am – Kate Hudson’s Glimpse into the Future

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You are supposed to look at a girl’s mother before marrying the girl and that is because the girl will always end up looking like her mother, unless she takes serious measures to prevent it. I remember I dated a girl whose mother had the worst set of cankles I had ever seen, and I fucking hate cankles so I dropped the bitch. I also dated another girl whose mother was a fat lazy cookie eating slob and realized that this bomb hot girl I was with would end up getting comfortable enough to spend her day eating cookies. I know there’s not proof behind this theory, but by looking at Goldie and her daughter, there are insane simalarities. Point of all this is to say that Goldie works out and takes care of herself and still looks like an ex hooker, meaning Kate Hudson will probably look worse. That was great insight. I hope it helps you with your day. Asshole.


Here are the pics of Kate Hudson, Goldie’s daughter….


***Note, the lesbian’s shirt is supposed to say Pussy, not Greens….

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2006

24

May

I am – Kate Hudson's Glimpse into the Future

G_hawnTOP2.jpg

You are supposed to look at a girl’s mother before marrying the girl and that is because the girl will always end up looking like her mother, unless she takes serious measures to prevent it. I remember I dated a girl whose mother had the worst set of cankles I had ever seen, and I fucking hate cankles so I dropped the bitch. I also dated another girl whose mother was a fat lazy cookie eating slob and realized that this bomb hot girl I was with would end up getting comfortable enough to spend her day eating cookies. I know there’s not proof behind this theory, but by looking at Goldie and her daughter, there are insane simalarities. Point of all this is to say that Goldie works out and takes care of herself and still looks like an ex hooker, meaning Kate Hudson will probably look worse. That was great insight. I hope it helps you with your day. Asshole.


Here are the pics of Kate Hudson, Goldie’s daughter….


***Note, the lesbian’s shirt is supposed to say Pussy, not Greens….

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2006

24

May

I am – Tara Reid is a Drunken College Girl 10 Years Later

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I was one of those guys who never went to college. i don’t even think I finished highschool, but I would never admit that because I bought a GED off the internet so that I could apply for amazing jobs at the local Wal Mart. I want to let everyone know that me not finishing my GED had nothing to do with being Mexican, a lot of new readers haven’t read my memoir, and by memoir I mean archive of posts, because anyone who has would know I was taken out of Mexico when I was really young, and I was raised by psycho bible thumping white ppl from Texas. So stop sending the hate mail in. Anyway, throughout my 20s I was always at the college bars, because beer was cheap, girls were hot and easy and I liked pretending I was on the Football team while doing bump of crystal off their tits. Point of the story is that most girls fall out of that scene by the time they are 23. They go on to live normal lives and forget the herpe inducing drunken and high raw dog sessions that took place in the bathroom off the bar. Tara Reid is one of those girls who hasn’t moved on and her face looks like it has been shit on.

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