You are supposed to look at a girl’s mother before marrying the girl and that is because the girl will always end up looking like her mother, unless she takes serious measures to prevent it. I remember I dated a girl whose mother had the worst set of cankles I had ever seen, and I fucking hate cankles so I dropped the bitch. I also dated another girl whose mother was a fat lazy cookie eating slob and realized that this bomb hot girl I was with would end up getting comfortable enough to spend her day eating cookies. I know there’s not proof behind this theory, but by looking at Goldie and her daughter, there are insane simalarities. Point of all this is to say that Goldie works out and takes care of herself and still looks like an ex hooker, meaning Kate Hudson will probably look worse. That was great insight. I hope it helps you with your day. Asshole.

Here are the pics of Kate Hudson, Goldie’s daughter….

***Note, the lesbian’s shirt is supposed to say Pussy, not Greens….

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You are supposed to look at a girl’s mother before marrying the girl and that is because the girl will always end up looking like her mother, unless she takes serious measures to prevent it. I remember I dated a girl whose mother had the worst set of cankles I had ever seen, and I fucking hate cankles so I dropped the bitch. I also dated another girl whose mother was a fat lazy cookie eating slob and realized that this bomb hot girl I was with would end up getting comfortable enough to spend her day eating cookies. I know there’s not proof behind this theory, but by looking at Goldie and her daughter, there are insane simalarities. Point of all this is to say that Goldie works out and takes care of herself and still looks like an ex hooker, meaning Kate Hudson will probably look worse. That was great insight. I hope it helps you with your day. Asshole.

Here are the pics of Kate Hudson, Goldie’s daughter….

***Note, the lesbian’s shirt is supposed to say Pussy, not Greens….

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I was one of those guys who never went to college. i don’t even think I finished highschool, but I would never admit that because I bought a GED off the internet so that I could apply for amazing jobs at the local Wal Mart. I want to let everyone know that me not finishing my GED had nothing to do with being Mexican, a lot of new readers haven’t read my memoir, and by memoir I mean archive of posts, because anyone who has would know I was taken out of Mexico when I was really young, and I was raised by psycho bible thumping white ppl from Texas. So stop sending the hate mail in. Anyway, throughout my 20s I was always at the college bars, because beer was cheap, girls were hot and easy and I liked pretending I was on the Football team while doing bump of crystal off their tits. Point of the story is that most girls fall out of that scene by the time they are 23. They go on to live normal lives and forget the herpe inducing drunken and high raw dog sessions that took place in the bathroom off the bar. Tara Reid is one of those girls who hasn’t moved on and her face looks like it has been shit on.

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I am convinced that all of you guys who have actually got laid, have gone home with disgusting girls in your life. You know the kind you don’t want anyone you know to find out about, but for some reason everytime you do it, your buddies show up a 10 am to go out for breakfast or some shit, only to find you snuggled up to last week’s kitchen garbage of a girl. I would say the same thing about the girls who read this site, but those girls are the same fat chicks you guys are draggin’ home. I went through a phase years ago, where I would only bang ugly bitches, it was a sort of science experiment to see if “The Batch” from not getting pussy was more of a repellent to other chicks than the fact that I was rubbing up on all the “2’s” in the club….I never came to any conclusion, but I did get a male yeast infection out of it. Point of the story is that Kelly Osborne looks like last weeks kitchen garbage that she snuck up to her room and has been snackin on, like the ditch pig (of the day she is)….That’s my story.

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I am not a fashionista. I am pretty sure that anyone who reads this on the regular knows that. I don’t know anything about it and even if I did, I couldn’t afford to dress stylish. I have the everyday outfit that consists of a pair of royal blue jogging pants and a scrappy t-shirt that I have had for about 9 years, I got it for 2 dollars and it still looks great, even though it’s stained. I have a going to court outfit that is a pair of grey pants and a white shirt, red tie, and grey blazer. I look like a security guard from 1976 and it’s never got me off the crime. I have velcro shoes I got for 8 dollars and a winter jacket and about 10 construction plaid shirt I got at home depot of 10 dollars each…That’s really the extent of my closet. Now all the dudes reading this, I know you couldn’t care less about what I wear, and you are probably asking yourself if I have turned poofter on you. I haven’t, I was just proving a point. Now, I have been going to the strippers for MANY years, but a lot more often in recent weeks, for whatever reason. I have fallen in love twice, seen a girl insert four fingers in her babyhole and spent a lot of money that I don’t have. One of the career strippers there, that’s the kind with retarded implants and stripper outfits wears a pair of booty shorts and knee high chaps, which are like a hybrid leg warmer- pant. What they end up looking like is a space uniform from planet touch my tits for 10 dollars. Kimmy Stewarts boots are rockin’ the same vibe….only problem is she got her tits removed a couple of years ago. Good one Kimmy, you fucking dirtbag.

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I am not a fashionista. I am pretty sure that anyone who reads this on the regular knows that. I don’t know anything about it and even if I did, I couldn’t afford to dress stylish. I have the everyday outfit that consists of a pair of royal blue jogging pants and a scrappy t-shirt that I have had for about 9 years, I got it for 2 dollars and it still looks great, even though it’s stained. I have a going to court outfit that is a pair of grey pants and a white shirt, red tie, and grey blazer. I look like a security guard from 1976 and it’s never got me off the crime. I have velcro shoes I got for 8 dollars and a winter jacket and about 10 construction plaid shirt I got at home depot of 10 dollars each…That’s really the extent of my closet. Now all the dudes reading this, I know you couldn’t care less about what I wear, and you are probably asking yourself if I have turned poofter on you. I haven’t, I was just proving a point. Now, I have been going to the strippers for MANY years, but a lot more often in recent weeks, for whatever reason. I have fallen in love twice, seen a girl insert four fingers in her babyhole and spent a lot of money that I don’t have. One of the career strippers there, that’s the kind with retarded implants and stripper outfits wears a pair of booty shorts and knee high chaps, which are like a hybrid leg warmer- pant. What they end up looking like is a space uniform from planet touch my tits for 10 dollars. Kimmy Stewarts boots are rockin’ the same vibe….only problem is she got her tits removed a couple of years ago. Good one Kimmy, you fucking dirtbag.

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Here are some links that were either sent in or that we came across during the day. I am not the best of web surfers out there, but I do what I can under the circumstances, and by circumstances I mean staring at the wall and chatting with random dirtbags in various chat rooms. I don’t actually rock chat rooms, but feel like I should because it will be a little more entertaining than doing this for you and maybe then I’ll get a girl on webcam for a fucking change…..These links go out to all the haters…..That was my hip hop moment for the day.

Marilyn Manson out of Drag But Dita’s Disgusting
Sophie Marceau gets her panties in a twist (see-through)
Camp for Homos
Kelly Rippa’s Got a Stinkbox of a Cooter (something smells fishy)
Big Brother UK Contestants are Slags
Girls of Myspace Playboy Pics(none are all that hot)
Springbreak Girls Suck Bananas like they were Cock
Bai Ling’s Nipple – Picture 3 (yes, we’ve all seen it before)…
News Anchor Calls a Blind Guy Gay
Gena Lee Nolin’s Sex Tape (nice tit job weirdo)
It’s Attu’s 4 Year, Happy Bdaty Attu, my gift is in her bald Box
Steal a 12 year old’s cat and by cat I don’t mean pussy, pervert
Heather Graham Sex Scene Via Laxtime

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Here are some links that were either sent in or that we came across during the day. I am not the best of web surfers out there, but I do what I can under the circumstances, and by circumstances I mean staring at the wall and chatting with random dirtbags in various chat rooms. I don’t actually rock chat rooms, but feel like I should because it will be a little more entertaining than doing this for you and maybe then I’ll get a girl on webcam for a fucking change…..These links go out to all the haters…..That was my hip hop moment for the day.

Marilyn Manson out of Drag But Dita’s Disgusting
Sophie Marceau gets her panties in a twist (see-through)
Camp for Homos
Kelly Rippa’s Got a Stinkbox of a Cooter (something smells fishy)
Big Brother UK Contestants are Slags
Girls of Myspace Playboy Pics(none are all that hot)
Springbreak Girls Suck Bananas like they were Cock
Bai Ling’s Nipple – Picture 3 (yes, we’ve all seen it before)…
News Anchor Calls a Blind Guy Gay
Gena Lee Nolin’s Sex Tape (nice tit job weirdo)
It’s Attu’s 4 Year, Happy Bdaty Attu, my gift is in her bald Box
Steal a 12 year old’s cat and by cat I don’t mean pussy, pervert
Heather Graham Sex Scene Via Laxtime

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Consider this live Blogging. The fat idol is singing her new single. Who the hell wrote this shit. Probably a commitee, sitting a room saying “yeah love rhymes with dove, let’s wrap this up”. I know I am a pretty incredible wordsmith, that’s why all 3 of you come back week after week, but I could have wrote something equally shitty, but I didn’t because I am a loser behind a computer. Anyway, let me quote some of this Disney after school special soap opera shit that is coming out of her mouth:

You were always by my side, that you believed in me was enough reason why,
I didn’t stop, I didn’t give up, I did my best, I am blessed”…

My internet girlfriend sent me lyrics to a Kool Keith song that she’s been listening to and it goes like this

I used to grab honies by they neck, piss on they eyebrows
Open they rectum to throw the bombs down they asshole
BOOM! I blew them panties out the room

What I am saying is that there has got to be some kind of middle ground. Who the fuck wants to listen to this emotional garbage? Oh wait, I just remembered something, women and GAY PEOPLE fucking love this shit. They get all wet in their assholes thinking about lost loves and ex boyfriends and childhood pets that have since been put to sleep. They are the reason shitty movies like the Break Up are released. So point of the post is to say that despite how lame girls are, I still like to fuck them.

Alyssa Milano at the Break Up Premiere

Jennifer Love Hewitt at the Break Up Premiere

Stacy Keibler at the Break Up Premiere

Update: By the time I finished this post Taylor Hicks sang his new single – these are some of the words

“I’ve never been the one to raise my hand, that was not me, and now that’s who i am, because of you I am standing tall. My heart is full of endless gratitude, you were the one, the one to guide me through, now i can see, and I believe, it’s only just beginning. This is what we dream about…..”

blah blah blah, I just came all over my belly. It was THAT hot. Who writes this fucking shit. Jesus Christ. People need to stop supporting this feel good smut, because it is having a negative impact on our society. Nice choir though, I like the church touch, lets fuck everyone up the ass with a cucifix so all you guilt ridden southerners vote. Bible thumping cunts need to think for themselves. Point of all this, is to say that even celebrities drag their boyfriends out to shitty movies.

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