I know that it’s such a typical cliche thing to say, but I can’t avoid it. When Joe Simpson looks at these pictures it brings back memories of when his little girls would run around the house naked, like normal little girls do, it reminds him of changing their diapers and seeing their little bottoms, it reminds him of the first time he promised to make them famous if they never tell their mother about the places he touches them. I guess the positive lesson we can take from this is that you never get caught if you keep your promises. Either way, there’s no proof that this fucker molested them, but you can only assume, since he talks about their tits like the belong to him…probably because they do. Creepy motherfuckers need to be outted.

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Christina Aguilera has had breast implants, there’s not doubt about that in my mind, and I couldn’t care less. I have slept with more women with breast implants than women without implants and I prefer a natural titty any day, but my wild days were in the 90s, and in the 90s all the trashy bitches I knew had plastic titties.

The reason I know Aguilera has implants is because she parades these fuckers around town as much as possible, and that’s something only people with implants do, because the have a serious detachment from their tits, and their tits becomes accessories or toys more than part of their body. Seriously, watch flashing videos, always more implants are flashed than non-implants. The other reason I know she has implants is because her nipples aim up to the sky, and it’s so rare to find a natural tit with nipples that aim to the sky.

I don’t know why I just analyzed her tits like that, it wasn’t funny and no one cares. Just click on the pictures and leave me alone you cunt.

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I don’t really know what to think about the way mainstream media is going. I really don’t care. I am not one of those annoying motherfuckers who talks about that kind of shit because I hate people who try to talk all smart about current events and the state of the nation and shit, no one really cares what you think, so just show me your tits, bitch. The hippies at PETA decided to do a spoof on Girls Gone Wild, where the drunken bitches flash their udders. It’s a little distrubing, only because it turned me on, and I sleep with a cow of a woman everynight, so now I want to dress her up like a cow. Thanks Peta for opening me up to this fucked up fetish I never knew I had. Hippies have done so much for me.

See Banned Ad Campaign Here

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I was talking to someone local who has had his picture taken by Merlin Bronques when he was first starting out in Montreal. Now he’s rockin’ sundance, magazine spreads and ad campaigns, but he’ll always be a bald black “Lady” in the night to me.

I have only been in this city for less than 5 years and I was never much of a club kid, considering I was 30 and a washed up addict when I got here, oh and was was all smitten with my fresh marriage to a 300 pound women, that was clearly something I had always wanted for myself as a little wrestler in the orphanage, I’d tell my priest/coach “Pablo, one day I will go to Canada and marry the fattest bitch I can find”. So, whenever I could get away from the wife, I would spend my nights in the strip clubs and in the later years of Montreal, I’ve been busy working at the canning factory. Now that I am two months unemployed, there’s no way for me to afford going out and more importantly I rarely shower or do laundry and clubs just won’t let me in.

The plan is to just stick to the bottle and the gutter outside my house, if you can even call it a fucking house, but this isn’t about me, this is about Perez Hilton from PageSixSixSix and PerezHilton blog fame, motherfucker is chillin’ at that Tiger shoe house with A-listers Jack Osborne, Lizzie Grubman and Corey Feldman. You’ve fucking made it, you fruit boot wearing celebrity fucking homo, I’d rim your ass all night to get a link on your real successful piece of shit celebrity blog. Maybe one day I’ll invite you and trent and justjared and cityrag and socialitelife and defamer and gawker and idontlikeyouthatway and wwtdd and I don’t know who the fuck else has a celebrity blog, but those cunts are invited too, invited to what you ask?? To suck my limp dick, I’m impotent fuck.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Check out the Onitsuka Tiger House Party at Sundance Gallery Here

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