DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2006

24

Jan

LastNightsParty in Sundance

Bronques is some hipster photographer who moved to NYC to launch a career. He ended up documenting the dirty drug filled nighlife of the city, with dirty looking girls acting like trash while thinkin’ they are fabulous cuz that’s what hipsters do. He built up a reputation and now probably makes more money than you, drinks more free drinks than you, scores more free yay than you, travels to more exclusive places than you, attends more exclusive parties than you and sees more exclusive tits than you. Bronques is profiting on the American Apparel/Vice Magazine/Electro Music movement, if you can call that shit a movement, and is very “hot” right now, if a bi-sexual black guy is ever hot. Anyway, got some pics for a couple of Sundance Parties on his site, I am sure they are celebrity filled – I am just too useless to spot a celebrity. So do the work for me, assholes.

Sundance: Premiere
Sundance: Blender
Sundance: Hottub

Visit His Myspace

2006

24

Jan

Alexis Dziena See Through

13 Comments »

She is 21, and we can see her nipples. She’s on a show called Invasion. I have never seen invasion. I don’t own a TV. Her name is retarded, but I can see her nipples, so that is good enough for me. My new love is small tits with large nipples. I am still sick from ski country and I am not hear to entertain you. The small tits with large nipples are here for that.

2006

24

Jan

Fergie in a Bikini

10 Comments »

I don’t really understand Fergie at all. She came out of nowhere, destroyed a decent hip hop group, not that I will ever admit to liking hip hop, but I will admit to seeing a group of crackhead “artists” turn into dirty popstars cuz they added a bitch with implants to sing over their songs, wear slutty gear and do a little dance. I have nothing against adding some pussy to any project to make it more successful, cuz I like pussy, but I will never respect people who profit off it cuz they lack the talent to lure in people with their own product. If I ever had a website, I would NEVER post pictures of nipple slips, bikinis and pussy to lure in readers. This has been a post on Fergie in a Bikini and she still has a disgusting face.

2006

24

Jan

Topanga's Nipple

1 Comment »

I know her real name isn’t Topanga, but I am too lazy to look into it. She’s one of those useless cunt of an actor who only had one recognizable job, and in her case it was playing Topanga on boy meets world. I guess these pics aren’t as interesting as the bitch from Family Matters who did porn and then Oprah, but this is TGIF at it’s best. I know my see through pics, and bikini pics, and nipple slips are getting boring, but if you had a dick that didn’t work – you’d understand why I look deeper and deeper hoping one day to find a pic that works our for me, if you know what I mean. These topanga pics aren’t the ones cuz she’s fat and her nipples aim to the ground and I never wanted to fuck her when she was on TV. So I guess, I will just keep lookin’.

2006

24

Jan

Topanga’s Nipple

1 Comment »

I know her real name isn’t Topanga, but I am too lazy to look into it. She’s one of those useless cunt of an actor who only had one recognizable job, and in her case it was playing Topanga on boy meets world. I guess these pics aren’t as interesting as the bitch from Family Matters who did porn and then Oprah, but this is TGIF at it’s best. I know my see through pics, and bikini pics, and nipple slips are getting boring, but if you had a dick that didn’t work – you’d understand why I look deeper and deeper hoping one day to find a pic that works our for me, if you know what I mean. These topanga pics aren’t the ones cuz she’s fat and her nipples aim to the ground and I never wanted to fuck her when she was on TV. So I guess, I will just keep lookin’.

2006

24

Jan

Colin Farrell Sex Tape

1 Comment »

The good thing about being a useless website that no one reads is that when I post a link to a celebrity sex tape that was submitted to me, and that I couldn’t actually watch because I don’t know shit about codecs, but assume it’s legit so download it and let me know how retarded it is… I totally lost my train of thought, oh right, I won’t get sued for posting this like that fag perez hilton did. That’s the good thing about being a useless blog that no one reads.

Download sex tape HERE

This is old news, I got it days ago, but forget to post it. Sue me. Get it…Cuz everyone is getting sued over this….anyway download the fucking sex tape and leave me alone.

Posted in:Colin Farrell|Sex|Sex Tape|Slut|Unsorted

2006

24

Jan

Agent Provocateur Bush Picture of the Day

No Comments »

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I think Agent Provocateur is the hottest lingerie line. The reason is simple. It’s styled from 1920’s burlesque. This shit reminds me of my mom. Back in Mexico in the ’70s, all my mom could afford was used underwear from America, the sexy stuff was from the ’20s and ’30s. She would rock her american panties all day, everyday so it is a fond memory. Well a little more fond than hearing her shove things in her client’s asses, or seeing her get fucked all day everyday, we all need to make a living. I guess the other reason I dig Provocateur is cuz it’s classy and sheer and since I like bush, and I have said that bush is the future of pubic hair styling over and over again. Bald is played out but I think the bikini wax is hype if you are a cheesy chick from the suburbs; the kind of girl who dances on the bar in a “My Boobs Are Real” ironic t-shirt, even though bitch has implants, flashing her g-string that says cutie and shows off her playboy bunny tattoo. But I am done with strippers. I am more into sophisticated bitches who know how to read, who can teach me things, and who have a little bush. This has been the Agent Provocateur Bush Picture of the Day.

Visit Agent Provocateur Here

2006

23

Jan

Another Pheromone Update

24 Comments »

All you haters just don’t understand. I am setting up this Pheromone Challenge to encourage you to leave your house for a fucking change and meet some people with vaginas. I am not doing this to scam you or to rip you off, like people think. I have said from day one that I don’t fully think it works, I am skeptical as shit, so I decided that we as a collective should put it to the test and share our stories. It forces us to leave our day to day life and hustle bitches with a camera and we will post these stories on this site. If you don’t want to be part of the game, that’s cool, but calling me a scammer is bullshit. When I used to sell drugs, I never cut it with glass or lactose, I would pride myself on having the best stock. I am not a good person at all, but I am also not out to rip anyone off. I just want all you motherfuckers to have some fucking fun.

Now here is my story from ski country. If you watched my useless video you will know that I went to a bar at some ski hill. If you read my last pheromone update, you will know that I am rockin’ a bottle of this shit everytime I go out.

So I meet this dude at the bar ordering a beer, he was solo too. I ask him what his story is and complain about how shitty the bar is. He came down with his parents and left his girlfriend at home for a weekend. I tell him that I have a spray that’s supposed to attract women and challenge him to go up to that girl who can’t dance. He takes me up on the challenge and ends up making out with her a little in the bar. They let me take a couple of pics, but I was wasted, and realize how much they suck.

The other thing that sucks is that the girl’s not so hot, the situation was in the dude’s favor, it was 2:45 am, I call girls like this “table scraps”. Either way, he did just meet her, and they did end up leaving together. So I guess it all worked out for him. More than I can say for you, unless jerking off to amateur porn counts as getting laid by a real girl, you fucking waste of space, cunt.

Get it On With Us

Posted in:stepPHEROMONECHALLENGE|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

23

Jan

People Who Can't Dance

No Comments »

I was away the last 3 days. I went to ski country with my stepdaughters. Their hot little school friends have a condo up on the ski hill and I guess we were invited out of pity, or whatever it’s called when middle class people who own a car and a condo and a house in the suburbs invite a useless unemployed mexican to their ski lodge. Point of this story is to say that I hit up the only bar at the bottom of the mountain when everyone was in bed and I realized how pathetic I am. The bar was filled with people who couldn’t dance. That got me to thinking, I should record these ppl dancing, so I order a couple of shots of JD, run back to the condo I’m staying at, steal their camera and this is what I got. I also landed some nasty fucking cold/flu and I am lying in bed sweating as I write this, and it’s not because my fat wife doubles as a fucking furnace.

Ignore the horrible quality and bad editing. I am Jesus Martinez, bitches, low quality is what I do.

Watch My Video Here

Posted in:can't dance|Dancing|hot sluts|Unsorted|young sluts

2006

23

Jan

People Who Can’t Dance

8 Comments »

I was away the last 3 days. I went to ski country with my stepdaughters. Their hot little school friends have a condo up on the ski hill and I guess we were invited out of pity, or whatever it’s called when middle class people who own a car and a condo and a house in the suburbs invite a useless unemployed mexican to their ski lodge. Point of this story is to say that I hit up the only bar at the bottom of the mountain when everyone was in bed and I realized how pathetic I am. The bar was filled with people who couldn’t dance. That got me to thinking, I should record these ppl dancing, so I order a couple of shots of JD, run back to the condo I’m staying at, steal their camera and this is what I got. I also landed some nasty fucking cold/flu and I am lying in bed sweating as I write this, and it’s not because my fat wife doubles as a fucking furnace.

Ignore the horrible quality and bad editing. I am Jesus Martinez, bitches, low quality is what I do.

Watch My Video Here

Posted in:can't dance|Dancing|hot sluts|Unsorted|young sluts