DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2022

04

Jan

J.Lo Tuck Game Strong of the Day

At a certain age women hormonally become men, don’t they….you know when the ovaries dry up and the chin hairs start to grow out, they can do fitness and get gains from said fitness thanks to all the testosterone, making them look more ripped than ever, since being ripped isn’t the most feminine of things….they can dye their hair pink, instead it’s regular SILVER, you know to come across as youthful, they can slip into a BODY FISHNET suit like a FISHNET FRIDAY GIRL trying to secure some OnlyFans investors, or sponsors….and they can do it all on their social media in a weirdly inappropriate, almost low level pornographic, pretty obvious clickbait way….and it’s weird to me….especially when the bitch is 100 fucking years old, worth 100 million dollars or more, and could just fuck right off and be forgotten…YET her ego, narcissism and I guess insecurity and desperation around getting old and dried up WON’T ALLOW THAT….so we now have 60 year olds in bikinis posing slutty like a 20 year old slut who 15 years ago would have been fired from her day job, maybe even kicked out of her school for the same behavior.

We have progressed as a society in the worst fucking way….but you J.Lo fans may like current J.Lo in Fishnets instead of jerking off to her fat 90s ass that made her famous….because you are weird…while I’m more of a PULL IT FROM THE ARCHIVES kind of guy…since age was on their side back then and now it’s just creepy sci/fi shit..that I guess these exhibitionists get off on…so whatever, still slutty behavior from someone who can afford to not be slutty, so she’s doing it from her heart…and there’s something special, or weird about that…

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Posted in:J.Lo

2022

04

Jan

McKayla Maroney Titty Dress of the Day

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Remember the scandal about the Olympic Gymnastic team being run by creepy fucking perverts that no one stopped for many fucking years, and bright eyed parents who saw the opportunity and millions of dollars in endorsements turned a blind eye to their teen daughters on the cusp of being Olympic heroes being fingered by the team doctor treating foot injuries?

I do….and I am sure McKayla Maroney does too….but luckily, the Gold Medalist Olympian doesn’t let her abuse make an annoying victim out of her, you know annoying victims, they are fucking everywhere and the problem with society…it’s like get over it…

You can be paralyzed by the “trauma” and unable to leave the house…only to get fat and agoraphobic…but active on social media whining for attention….

Or you can say fuck it, and put a slutty dress on to celebrate your athletic body and the fact that you can bend on dicks in ways unimaginable to anyone who hasn’t had sex with an Olympic gymnast because most look like midget trolls….

Everyone’s got bullshit in their past…no one wants to hear it, but we do want to see the tits….KEEP your trauma to yourself in 2022…no one gives a fuck about your problems, we got our own…but BRING your tits out in 2022…because all dudes give a fuck about TITS.

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Posted in:McKayla Maroney

2022

04

Jan

The Ratio Tuesday of the Day

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THE WAR ON SCIENCE ENDS HERE…

I am just a pervert creeper from the internet, so I don’t care about the people still pushing the “TRUST THE SCIENCE” dismissive “You’re an idiot so just do what we tell you”….”don’t do you own research, just listen to us even though we are opportunistic fucks”….the whole “trust the science” is actually “anti-science” since “science” is an ongoing thing that just doesn’t have a definitive answer…especially when the “science” we are being told to “trust” doesn’t make any sense to our simple pervert creeper from the internet minds….and not making sense isn’t in a “well, I’m not a scientist” way…you know when someone shows me website code and I think “that’s way above my write smut no one reads for free pay grade”….it’s more “even I see holes in the science or what they are pushing on us as science”….but it’s 2022, and forgetting that all this insanity is going on, so we can start living again, is actually the better approach….I’m just using it as an example to prove that I am not anti-science, since science has proved that the right WAIST TO HIP ratio is hotter to men, no matter the weight or size of said WAIST or HIP….so long as it is of that proportion….which also proves that BODY POSITIVITY FROM FATTIES is not as hot as they want us to pretend it is, sure they can get in bikinis and lingerie and even fuck EVERY DUDE to fill their empty fat lives…since dudes fuck anything…BUT it’s SCIENTIFICALLY not as hot to men….then the whole tranny thing, where they say you are a transphobe for not wanting to fuck a tranny, like they are forcing you or guilting you into fucking trannies…and SCIENTIFICALLY…they can’t have the right ratio, they are dudes…so DEBUNKED….I am just a man into chicks with a feminine body…wire that way….to KNOCK THEM UP…or at least want to knock them up…or at least cum on my belly while thinking about knocking them up…

CAN’T HELP IT…WIRED THIS WAY…TRUST THE SCIENCE…

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Posted in:The Ratio

2022

04

Jan

Farrah Abraham Gets a UTI of the Day

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I wouldn’t go so far as to say that Farrah Abraham is a fucking legend in the grand scheme of the world, but I like to think of her as a legend to me, not only because the single biggest traffic day on the site, and really the single biggest money day was when VIVID gave me a clip of her squirting in her first porno video….and GAWKER linked to it….making it basically my LEWINSKY…which is a reference I make to Drudge Report, despite not knowing anything about Drudge Report other than that they went viral with the Lewinsky story….which may not even be a true story, but something I’ve assumed true for at least 15 years so I run with it…

Anyway, I fucking peaked and that was the top….it’s been downhill since, and I’d say the samething applies to the TEEN MOM you know only got KNOCKED up to get on TV, because it’s a good way to get on MTV at 16 if you didn’t have a rich parent to give you a SUPER SWEET 16 BIRTHDAY party…what’s with MTV and teens….what are they CNN?

So as the horny enough to get knocked up at 16, rewarded for bad cum filled pussy behavior at a young age, then again when she did the sex tape, the babe has found her stride with producing content like this….which seems to be WHIPPED cream in the PUSSY…a recipe for a YEAST infection…or a REALLY tasty birthday cake…depending on whether you’re a glass half full motherfucker or not..

She may look clownlike, but she was doing this before the other whores or wholes or holes…of the internet…so bow own to the leader, the trend setter, the first mover who I don’t think should EVER be forgotten but rather a taught in schools across America….like the legend she is.

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Posted in:Farrah Abraham

2022

04

Jan

Tight Pant Tuesday of the Day

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As a creeper, it’s safe to say that Tight Pants are the highlight of most days..because girls wear the fuck out of tight pants and they never quite seem tight enough to make them happy…so they progressively get tighter and fucking tighter until one day they won’t wear pants at all, just to get the fucking point across, but for now, they probably appreciate the tight pants for squeezing them the fuck together, making their asses look far more amazing than they otherwise would be….so Tight Pants that acts as a second skin or duct tape holding it all together like your exhaust system on your car….and as a creeper, seeing the asshole and pussy of strangers because they think they are being practical and comfortable dressers is great…

The pandemic’s been shit, especially for Canadians, but the good that has come from it is not the solidarity between humans, or the support of our elected officials showing us they care, it’s been getting girls in “ATHLEISURE” to let me see their cunt meat.

SILVER LINING SHIT.

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Posted in:Tight Pants

2022

04

Jan

Candice Swanepoel Ass of the Day

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Candice Swanelpoel is the hot South African Variant and HIV Probable because she’s from South Africa and I guess South Africa is the hub of good things like HIV and shitty variants….maybe they should investigate that…..but in the meantime both have caused mass hysteria amongst the fully vaccinated middle of the road, not very intelligent, dopey BOZO fucking hypochondriacs who for some reason like the easy solution to health, like popping a pill, instead of choosing the more practical and fulfilling version of health, like eating well, working out, getting rid on unnecessary fat cells, and strengthening muscle and bones…leading to a better quality of life across the board….instead of needing a country or worldwide excuse to sit on the ass watching bullshit TV you’d be watching regardless of COVID…because you hate yourself, you hate LIVING, you hate LIFE…because the SYSTEM did this to you….

So yeah, recently enough EXPLANTED (that’s when a bitch pulls out her fake model sized implant) Candice, now independent bikini modeling for her own brand, none of that human trafficking sponsored brands, and in doing that she’s basically showing you her bare ass because she can….it’s “Business as Usual”….like she’s a street whore, but on beaches with high budgets, rich people, in luxury…not digging through trash for cans when not sucking dick for 5 dollars thanks to not being tech savvy enough to get online for the whoring…

Either way, this is a fuck you to all you people in Lockdown around the world, but at last it’s got full ass in it…which is a better fuck you than COPS telling you to get back into your house because it’s 10 pm, which is what happens in these parts Cowboy.

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Posted in:Candice Swanepeol

2022

04

Jan

Tiny Tits Tuesday of the Day

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Tiny Tits are Titties too…I don’t think this is really an argument or fight worth fighting….because any real dude already knows this and most girls who have small tits know that no one has ever refused to suck and cum on said tits..if anything they did it with as much passion as they would for a sloppy set of big tits..because we’re just happy they are tits and not our fleshlight or jimmy-rigged fleshlight made out of household objects including PVC pipes, socks and some rotten lunch meats…we like small tits as much as big tits and will even try to titty fuck them knowing we’ll end up with an indian sunburn on our dicks from their breast plate….

RIGHT…

Anyway, the girls out there who think their little tits need to be big tits because girls with big tits get more views on the internet are fucking idiots…but we already know that…as the world turns into one homogenous not homosexual…but homosexual also…cookie cutter templated muppet face…EVERYONE just trying to be the fucking same, when the differences and “imperfections” according to who the fuck knows are hot….

I celebrate TINY tits and you should too…unless they are on a fat chick…than they are just disproportionate and freak me the fuck out.

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Posted in:TINY TITS

2022

04

Jan

Bebe Rexha Big Girl Tit of the Day

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Bebe Rexha is a big titty cuz she’s thick songwriter turned popstar because with modern technology and the general woke nature of the world, you can fake being hotter than you are with filters and photoshop, but more interestingly, you can use being in your 30s and fat to you advantage, AGEISM, BODY POSITIVITY and other bullshit that seems to forget that there is other talent out there, we don’t need to keep taking these behind the scenes girls like GAGA and now REXHA who have lots of hit songs to their credit, and put them centre stage…there’s nothing wrong with keeping them hidden away in their cave writing hits for other hotter people…but yet here we are…seeing some rich, old lady with her full old lady big girl tit out for social media, because she’s about as desperate, despite being rich and successful, for acceptance….so desperate she’ll pull her tit out and try to force you into wanting to fuck her….

Since I don’t do anything all day, I watched Netflix QUEENPINS, while wasted but still watched it and Bebe Rexha brought her acting chops playing a HACKER that helps Kristen Bell pull off her Housewife coupon scam…it wasn’t that bad of a movie and as someone who normally hates Kristen Bell, she was kinda hot in it….anyway Bebe Rexha’s acting was just a reminder that everything you see her is some act…this isn’t some artist, this is a bullshitter acting…but at least her big girl titty is out, it makes her more interesting….just not as interesting as if she was doing less GLAM and more BUFFALO WING, or even better, HoT Dog eating competitions..with her vagina.

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Posted in:Bebe Rexha

2022

04

Jan

Frog Butt Friday on a Tuesday of the Day

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You may or not know what a FROG BUTT is. Maybe you didn’t spend enough time in the swamp, all high off SWAMP GASES, where you thought you were fucking some hot swamp creature only to find the innards of a poor frog all over your dick….you know…you took that frog butt seriously..

Unlike you, I am hip and have my finger on the pulse of slutty behavior, I keep that shit locked in my underground bunker and this is the 100th time I am doing a post on girls in FROG BUTT POSE….because that’s what a FROG BUTT is….a POSE and these girls are doing it…