DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2021

14

Jun

Brie Larson’s Clickbait for Nerds of the Day

I don’t know why Brie LArson feels the need to show everyone her athleticism, but I guess any angle works for the attention seeker who wanted fame so bad, but you can tell is not comfortable or authentic in her position as an A-Lister we’ll just assume she fell into, or fell on, with her cunt…

She’s trying to produce content for her nerd followers, cuz they are all nerd followers, you’d have to be someone who doesn’t get laid to think she’s hot, and lots of people aren’t getting laid, just ask OnlyFans for their stats…

Brie Larson doesn’t have an only fans, but is at the level of celebrity she doesn’t need one, but her raw talent and capabilities that I think her level of celebrity over-inflate, means she really should be an ex trying to be a popstar now selling pussy pics to perverts who really liked her back then…not some high ticket item that doesn’t make sense..

Posted in:Brie Larson

2021

14

Jun

Bella Thorne Pussy Eater of the Day

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Bella Thorne is a crowd favorite, even if she oftentimes looks like she smells like last week’s kitchen garbage mixed with dirty granny diapers in the dumpster outside the old folks home I’ve accidentally fallen asleep inside…when drunk, you don’t notice the smells that would otherwise make you miss out on the soft pillow-y comfort…which I guess applies to fucking homeless prositutes too…if smells would turn me off, I’d probably be a virgin…cuz I’m the kind of guy who only gets the girls no one else wants, cuz they smell…or have other ailments….not that this is about me…

This is about Bella Thorne continuing to bridge the gap between porn and mainstream, the Disney girl who is probably not in charge of her branding, but we’ll pretend that she is, I just feel like Disney would never allow something they created to venture off on its own to do smutty things, unless they were into it and wanted it…but that’s a whole other conversation because everyone’s a pervert, porn obsessed weridos, and her whole generation is into this extreme sexualizing and monetizing shit….

What I will say is that I’m into it…it’s dramatic, she is glammed up, implied naked….I like the romanticism, the intensity…but most importantly…I like the wetness on her mouth glimmering or shimmering in the light so we think she had her face squirted on, now that squirting is the only acceptable orgasm, as people who have watched too much porn realize that the female orgasm without a huge ejaculating pop shot, isn’t an orgasm worth filming…

Point being, this is simple content…complete with COKE in the background….but why bother going complicated when all we care to see is each other fuck…

Edgy…exciting…Bella Thorne Matters.

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Posted in:Bella Thorne

2021

14

Jun

Milf Monday of the Day

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I know that I like to joke about the vaccine making everyone infertile, which could put me on some list of someone to cancel or ban, which would be funny, after all the inappropriate jokes I’ve made daily over the course of 17 years on this site, saying “vaccines could make women infertile” is going to be the one that gets me shut down….

Now I don’t know if there is science behind that, but since all the conspiracy theories over COVID have come true, I’ll run with it…..and if that is the case…MILFS will be a dying breed….not just because everyone is genderless and mothers will now be referred to as baby droppers….BD-ILFS which may be a bad acronym since BD means BIG DICK….and BIG DICK I’D LIKE TO FUCK is not what we are going for her….

MILFS are also a dying breed because girls can’t be bothered having kids, unless they can monetize them on their social media like a Kardashian, otherwise, they just get in the way of being degenerate pornographers who sell nudes…

Anyway, I used to think the concept of MILFs was crazy, even though I’d fuck anything, I never thought fucking a used car model of woman was the ideal scenario…but now that I am old and women my age are dried up grannies, I can say, MILFs are better than dried up grannies, so let’s look at these MILFs…

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Posted in:Milf

2021

14

Jun

Charli XCX Bikini Top of the Day

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Charli XCX has made me realize that I am a wallet fucker…I know that I’ve had Chrissy Teigen’s army that I’ll assume is no more cuz the rest of the world realized she’s a fucking piece of shit….but there was a time, right before she got critically famous, that I never understood how that happened, but it happened…and at that time she called me out for being some pervert degenerate predator or some shit that was obviously NOT true and it was all because I made fun of her for being a wallet fucker…a low life, overrated, pile of fat sadness wallet fucker, where clearly John Legend was using her as a beard cuz I heard rumors he used to date Kanye, or was in too deep and got paid heavily after meeting her and felt she was part of his success….and the divorce would be too expensive….

Anyway, the reason I am a wallet fucker is because I thought Charli XCX was some overrated night club act that was barely famous…I saw her in her leotards and thought “she’s got tits” but that they were more of the bottom feeding variety…

As it turns out, she recently spent 5.1 million dollars on a mansion in LA with a recording studio in it….and I thought…this bitch has at least enough money to buy at 5 million dollar home….even with a mortgage she’d be making 25k payments per month…meaning she’s way more legit than I thought…

So that makes me looking at her bikini boobs, probably at a mansion, far more fun and exciting cuz they are rich and famous even though you think she’s barely famous…fascinating how that works…

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Posted in:Charli XCX

2021

14

Jun

Eva Amurri Bikini of the Day

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When the moon hits my eye like a big piece of pie that’s Amurri or some shit…right…

Eva Amurri has a ridiculously hot body despite being in her mid 30s and a mom of 3, it’s ridiculous…and I am a fan of whatever the fuck this brushing her lymphatic system out like the girls of Instagram do, because she’s doing it in lingerie….

She’s a divorcee, clearly ready to mingle, or at least use those big titties for good not evil and I remember when she dabbled in the whole acting thing, back on Californication with her tits out, only to find out she was Susan Sarandon’s daughter…

Now I have a celebrity daughter fetish, I think the hot daughters of celebs, who are celebs in their own right thanks to their moms are amazing….even the ugly ones..I’m talking to you Rumer….you heartbreaker…except for Kate Hudson, who is the one celebrity daughter I don’t like, but arguably the first celebrity daughter to get me into the celebrity daughter thing before she was officially famous or acting, back when she was in an Architectural Digest with her mom at 18 years old…I thought “This girl’s good”..until being exposed to her shittiness through her acting inspiring Owen Wilson to kill himself…

Anwyay, this is not about them, this is about Divorcee mom of three looking awesome half naked doing some bullshit influencer shit as they do for an excuse for us to stare at the titties!

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Posted in:Eva Amurri

2021

14

Jun

Inbar Lavi Topless of the Day

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I don’t know if anyone gives a fuck about Inbar Lavi, or ???? ?????, but she’s an Israeli actress who left her mark on American in 2012 on an MTV show called Underemployed that I guess was a real hit, then she was on Prison Break, then Imposters and then in some shit called LUCIFER.

But you should give a fuck about Inbar Lavi…as she poses topless with a cigarette in mouth in an era where not enough people post pics of themselves smoking…despite everyone posting pics of themselves topless…

She’s 34 and not showing us her nipples which is too bad….because toplessness without nipples is not toplessness at all even if she’s technically topless….maybe this is more a picture to showcase her strong chin….or her weird fucking prison tattoo….and what it comes down to is I’d prefer if it was a picture to showcase her anus….

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Posted in:Inbar Lavi

2021

14

Jun

Jade Chynoweth Braless of the Day

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Jade Chynoweth’s got her Fringed Jacket on with nothing underneath, which should get all the cowboys out there pretty excited, because despite being a trained dancer living that LA life, being cast in shitty movies, and as back up dancers for shitty pop acts, she’s doing the whole “straight from the heartland” ready to kick some shit and ride into the sunset to find her herd….I mean not quite in those shoes and I don’t think those panties / bikini bottoms would really be a good protection against whatever kind of ticks her horse has, you know a direct line to the cunt…but it would make for good content…not that her being half naked in a fringed cowboy jacket in the woods is bad content, I just like a bit more action than dramatic poses…in fact…I fucking hate dramatic model poses for social media…you look like an asshole…no one stands like this unless they are posing…and posing in and of itself is trying too hard…yet, if she was to actually do a dance, or ride a horse, or teach us some lasso roping skills on a barrel in this outfit…there’d be a point beyond seeing some dancing tits you never heard of…

I just think this could have been better, but I’ll post what she’s got, cuz she’s in panty bottoms and showing tits…even though as a dancer…we’d probably prefer more ass…

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Posted in:Jade Chynoweth

2021

14

Jun

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

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From my ignorant, uneducated perspective, I will say that COVID has taught me one important thing and that is that Medical Workers are full of shit idiots who think they know more than they do because doctors have these God Complexes, think they are brighter than most because they went to school longer than most, but that just means they are capable of memorizing at reciting what they’ve memorized….it doesn’t mean they are actually intelligent, no matter how much money they make doing it..

I have gone to doctors and none have the answers, they all tell you not to read WEBMD but WEBMD has better research than they do…so when you go in cuz you’re shitting yourself, they can’t actually think through what it is you have, they order tests or are just heavy handed on the prescription pad….since their whole existence and schooling is designed to write prescriptions with basically poison that everyone takes thinking it will fix them…

The only anti-biotics you should take is after pissing fire from some prostitute you didn’t use a condom with cuz condoms are for pussies….and even then, I’d suggest letting it run its course to see if your dick falls off like it’s a Weinstein…

The point is that the heroes they tell us are heroes aren’t actually heroes…not during COVID where they pretended to be scared to milk the attention they were getting and not before covid when they’ve let people die due to bad medical advice…it happens daily….cuz when you have people who think they are smarter than God….you have people making brazen decisions for idiots who just go along with it….

They say trust science, but I don’t…..so I don’t trust the legal drug dealers pushing science on us…especially when they live in mansions and own yachts because of it….

Remember the Opiate crisis, without shitty doctors, that’d never happen….

So when you look at these FRONT LINE heroes, remember that they may not be heroes, at least not before they chose to get naked on the internet, which may sound far more simplistic than saving lives, is actual hero work, because there was a time people weren’t self involved exhibitionist perverts and it may have been a happier time, but it was also a time I saw way less stranger pussy…and I am into stranger pussy…

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Posted in:NURSES

2021

14

Jun

Kaili Thorne Fucks a Dildo of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

Back in 2012 when I redesigned the site from the pile of shit it was back then, to the pile of shit it is now, I had a NSFW filter built to block out any NSFW content, it was my attempt to get MAINSTREAM ADS…because I thought maybe there was a chance I’d get Rockstar Games or some other edgy brands to support the making fun of shitty celebrities…it didn’t work, advertisers found my writing vile and offensive, a lot thought it was some stepfamily fetish site where the stepfather was some kinds of rapist, and the whole thing basically backfired…

So I never bothered using the NSFW filter that I thought was so technologically advanced…..which for me it was because I barely know how to upload an image to the website….

Anyway, I am using that filter today, because a girl using a dildo is NSFW even on a site with no ads that I’ve basically been misidentified as a pornographer, which I am not..unless you consider STEPSMUT porn….where I just think it’s documentarian work…following the pop culture trends…

Anyway, Kaili Thorne is not Bella’s full sister, but I guess they have the same father and since the father died, Bella’s family have taken her in as one of their own…but unlike the others, Kaili never really popped off as a Disney Star, so instead she went straight to sex on the internet when the opportunity arose which in a lot of ways is probably less perverted than working in the Hollywood industry..

She definitely isn’t quite what you’d want from Bella Thorne’s sister, I mean the dyking out part is great, the dildo use great, maybe it is precisely what you’d want out of Bella Thorne’s sister….she’s just not quite as hot, interesting, or relevant as Bella, but rather just using the name as hard as she can to get what she wants…

I don’t know when all girls wanted to do porn, but I am glad they do…and if you’re into this kind of content, and you should be, you should go show her support cuz the Thorne connection makes her far better than all the randoms who aren’t related to an industry sweetheart like Bella by default…

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Posted in:Kaili Thorne|NSFW

2021

14

Jun

Malu Trevejo Titties of the Day

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Malu Trevejo is a TikTok Sensation…she was one of the most followed people on the app before it became TikTok….when it was just some lip synching app for tweens…which I guess it may still be…I would never put that shit on my phone but people I talk to seem to say it’s not as censored as the other American apps, which is weird since it’s owned by Communist China, but I guess we are all already owned by Communist China anyway, so I should just hop right in….because to think Zuckerberg isn’t tracking the same data or google or any of these fucks is ridiculous…they are all in it together and we are sitting on the wrong fucking side of the table..

Anyway, Malu Trevejo was the most followed before celebs got in on it, I don’t know if she’s got record deals because of her lip synching but I assume she does, I do know that she got Fake tits for her 18th birthday and launched an only fans where people pay for her nudes, and if you’re into 18 year old TikTok Sensations who may have record deals selling nudes, you can google her and find that shit to sign up to it….because this is clearly the direction all pop entertainment is going….all these girls on their monetization kick selling nudes…it’s weird, but it’s what I hoped for, so I am glad to witness it in my lifetime…

Everybody get naked.

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Posted in:Malu Trevejo