DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2021

08

Apr

Jordyn Jones Ass in Leggings of the Day

Jordyn Jones is the white trash farmer’s daughter who you didn’t stumble upon when your car broke down when you were moving cross country to live out your life in California, hoping to end up in the pictures….only to be seduced by her in the barn you end up sleeping in cuz she hasn’t seen sophisticated big city cock ever and she’s primed…only for her dad to catch wind of it and shoot you because that’s his pussy…he’s the one who made it, he’s the one it was made for….no sharing…unless you’ve come with a GOAT or any other livestock for a trade….you know FARM SHIT..

This Farmer’s Daughter is not really one that you have to fear the father of…since he’s dead from alcoholism….but maybe his ghost will haunt you…or at least watch you jerk off to his daughter and say “good choice”.

This Farmer’s Daughter was taken from a future of METH, STRIPPING, TRAILER PARK dick sucks….and given an opportunity to sell booty videos on isntagram through a third party supplier called CLOSE FRIENDS…all thanks to her mom having a vision…and plan to get her on a child reality dance show that I think should be outlawed, cuz you know wholesome folks aren’t watching none of that….

In being a trained dancer, it’s safe to assume she can fuck, knowing her body, how to move it, gyrate it, shake it….all fit and into rhythm…if you’ve fucked a trained dancer you know….so that makes her hotter….at least to me…check it out.

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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2021

08

Apr

Zoey Deutch Titty Top of the Day

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Hey Guess What…Zoey Deutch, who I don’t think is even Dutch but instead just a CULTURAL APPROPRIATOR…>CANCEL HER and her CLOG wearing TULIP Growing….LEGAL marijuana ass….

She is the daughter of Caroline in the City…raised by the MOM from Back to the Future like she was MARTY McFLY herself….only I don’t know if there was an incest storyline in their relationship…BUT IT IS HOLLYWOOD…so I wouldn’t put it past them…you know I read the conspiracies, I know what you’re up to Hollywood….GROOMING like they were a hypoallergenic dogs….that you kill off when they fall off the planned course…

But yeah..Guess What…Zoey Deutch, who I do like as an actor because I watched BUFFALOED….has bigger tits than I thought and here are those activewear sports bra in the gym tits for you to get excited about…because I am old school and CLEAVAGE is still enough for me to go “TITS”….I stopped watching porn years ago…probably around the time I started the site…so I don’t need that throat fucking porn and the other shit all you sick fucks are addicted to because it’s mental health issues, a disease, you pussies…

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Posted in:Zoey Deutch

2021

08

Apr

Titty Drop Thursday of the Day

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TITTY DROPS….if you’re going to drop anything, it might as well be a set of tits…because other drops are pretty fucking annoying at least when they marketing scams to try to get the losers of instagram to buy instagram brand products….”Kylie’s latest pussy mending cream called Bruce’s Choice”….or “Goop releases a horse cock dildo to get into all the nooks and crannies of a bitches womb”….LIMITED EDITION…..I mean what other drops are there…maybe your balls dropping, but only one dropped so that doesn’t count…I guess you could drop your drink when you pass out on the couch…which is always upsetting making TITTY drops the best kind of drop out there…unless there are other drops I am not thinking about….like drop kicking influencers or aspiring influencers you see taking selfies of themselves in public like it’s not embarrassing, even though it is embarrassing….meaning the only drop better than the TITTY DROP is when someone will eventually drop the Kardashian family’s jet out of the sky to rid the world of what I consider to be the worst domestic terrorism to date…these women ruin other women…

TITTY DROPS…the gamification of flashing tits…where girls with tits flash their tits in a fun way because ultimately, girls clearly love showing off their tits if they’ve got tits…and in being coded to follow the fucking leader…they all end jumping onto the trending trends…and luckily titty drops are a trend..an amazing trend…because I want to see ALL titties drop….and here’s this week’s selection.

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Posted in:Titty Drop

2021

08

Apr

Rumer Willis Nude of the Day

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Rumer Willis was one of the early celebrity children I used to make fun of, along with Zelda Williams and I guess Kate Hudson who doesn’t really count because she pretended to be a celebrity of her own, while Rumer was just a “I’m rich, my parents are rich, my stepdad is rich, so I’m going to do nothing with my life, but hang…” which is precisely what she’s done…and I guess what her sisters have done…it’s a why the fuck bother, she’s a WILLIS…

IN being a WILLIS, she suffers something CAITLIN JENNER also suffers from, and that’s being a LITTLE too BRUCE to be hot…

IN her defence though, she’s at least got the face injections to reduce the swelling in her head that got her the nickname Mr Potato Head…and I’m not the one who coined that…it was some other celebrity site that is probably all WOKE now…because they forgot we are SUPPOSED to hate on these people….fan boy yes-man fucks…

She’s also been working out, or something, that has allowed her to have a bit of a body, brave enough to get naked on the internet, which isn’t brave at all cuz these fucks all edit themselves while complaining about unrealisitic body images Victoria’s Secret models give them….dumb fucks….

Not to mention, Demi has openly admitted to millions of dollars of surgery to get to be the 7-8 on 10 she was at her prime…meaning she started out at a 3 and genetics have a memory and get passed on…so RUMER has it that RUMER could have been WAY uglier.

Point being, she’s a familiar face, albeit a terrifying face, albeit is a great word, albeit a face that has been jacked up by injections like other faces, and really not the kind of face you’d want to be familiar…unless it was in a recurring nightmare kind of way, but SHE is posting NAKED selfies…CHECK IT OUT….

That said, if you’re into Mr/Mrs/Androgynous Potato Head in Pussy Hugging Bike Shorts, Rumer called the papaprazzi to cover her workout where she wore very skimpy and disgusting bike shorts….

To See The Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Rumer Willis

2021

08

Apr

Asshole Behind Thong Thursday of the Day

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We’ve got assholes, we’ve got thongs….we’ve got assholes behind thongs….step right up….

My biggest life regret is not being a CARNI, I think like would been substantially better setting up games and rides for shitty children with other degenerate, convicts, drug addicts, homeless people, orphans, etc….

Maybe I should transition DrunkenStepfather into a touring circus…where we will have assholes…we’ll have thongs…and we’ll have assholes behind thongs…

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Posted in:Asshole Behind Thong

2021

08

Apr

Demi Lovato High Cut Swimsuit of the Day

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I don’t know what Unstable Demi Lovato is doing in this broad body, like midget wrestler body in a bathing suit for a mirror selfie you know she’s got that body filter on to make it seem like the best version of a pile of shit…while still being a pile of shit…when she should be out there dying of her fucking overdose….get it right you fucking pig…

Instead, she’s milking the overdose, playing victim, getting support from people who don’t actually care but who have been taught to not wish death on people, even if those people have a total disrespect for life and all the gifts it has brought them…like Demi Lovato….

I don’t like that drug addicts are now allowed to use “it’s a disease” because it’s not a fucking disease you weak fuck…you just like the drugs and do the drugs…but it’s not a fucking disease…drugs are addictive for all people you dumb fuck…

I also don’t like that she is built like a fucking tank, but I guess that worked out for her because it made it harder for the drugs to WIN their fight with her….which has now become her big marketing hook…”I’m a bi polar lesbian transgender recovering addict who is California sober who had an overdose…did I mention I had an overdose”…

Fucking puppet…put some damn clothes on…this is making me uncomfortable….

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Posted in:Demi Lovato

2021

08

Apr

Hunter King Got Pression and Cleavage of the Day

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Hunter King is Joey King’s hotter sister, because she’s got blonde hair and bigger tits, but she’s not as successful because she’s likely not as good of an actress…I watched THE ACT and I was won over by Joey King even though I think acting is a scam, she did good….

But when you’re the hot sister, you don’t need to be the more successful sister, or the talented sister, you just have to pull them tits and smile sister….but apparently you don’t have to be the smart sister either because this is a rant about how she suffers with PRESSION..

Now, I don’t know if she means DEPRESSION, or if all these kids who have mental health issues and consistently brag about the meds they are on, use PRESSION as slang for their disorder, those weak fucks….because you see, I don’t believe in Mental Health issues and I think it’s just people being fucking spoiled, coddled, pussies who like drugs and being numb….it’s the least manly thing to do, unless you’re Hemingway…because he did depression like a fucking boss…yes, I watch PBS and love Ken Burns documentaries…we’re all allowed to have our own fetishes..

Or maybe, she’s loving life, as she should, since she’s the hot sister of some famous and talented sister, and yes, calling an actor talented hurts me….and maybe PRESSION is just some inside joke I am too old for….

Luckily, her message comes with tits…which means who fucking cares…the presentation makes it worth staring at..

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Posted in:Hunter King

2021

08

Apr

Tanline Thursday of the Day

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Summer is coming and so should you…even though trashy bitches keep their tans all winter, and trashy bitches are basically all bitches, because that’s where society is skewing…..why have morals, values, decency…when you can just be a pile of trash like your idols like Cardi B on the internet and if you’re lucky you’ll make 1,000,000 dollars a year selling pussy pics…you know because that’s what the influencers do and follow their lead so you can have designer purses too…trash.

That’s not to say I don’t like trashy women…I love it…it’s just funny to see the normals skewing that way because of the internet is winning…

That’s also not to say that I don’t like Tanlines, because I do….they are nature’s highlight….my kind of OFFICE SUPPLY…

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Posted in:Tanlines

2021

08

Apr

The Voice of Bobby Hill’s Daughter’s Tits of the Day

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Her name is Gideon Adlon and yes, Gideon may be a name you’d give your pet after seeing the Gideon Bible in all the motels you’ve frequented for hooker sex, but that doesn’t mean she’s a cat or a prostitute….

What it does mean is that her mom, Pam Adlon, names her kids after bibles and pets…and who gives a shit…

Her mom, Pam Adlon is the voice of Bobby Hill from King of the Hill….but this is about what was squeezed out of her vagina, like it was a late term abortion that survived, which is really not an insult to poor Gideon, but more just my opinion of children…they are all late term abortion survivors….or ABORTIONS that never were….society is shit, stop reproducing idiots…

She is a 24 year old actor, she was just in something called The Society on Netflix which was cancelled because of COVID, but also in The Craft, which didn’t need to be remade, we have the original….and she posts weird hipster artist queer nudes on instagram but more importantly she has big tits….I guess mom used that Bobby Hill money on DAIRY AND POULTRY all jacked up on hormones….right?

Posted in:Uncategorized

2021

08

Apr