I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Search Results

2008

20

Jan

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

So no one emailed me asking me if my wife died or not. She didn’t. It turned out she ate some bad sausage and not the kind of sausage I wish she ate so that I’d have ground for a divorce. It was just typical fat chick sausage that she huffed down late at night […]

2008

10

Jan

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

I was at the pharmacy buying garbage bags because the mound of shit that has accumulated around me is starting to smell worse than my wife and that’s a sign of getting rid of the shit. I am pretty convinced I have bugs but it’s not that big of a deal, it gives me something […]

2007

03

Dec

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

After Thursday’s night of college binge drinking where I ended up coming home at 9 am wasted, I realized that the only way to cure my hangover was to keep drinking Friday and Saturday and even today…I figure as long as I am drunk I won’t get hungover. The only problem with this strategy is […]

2007

19

Nov

I am – The American Music Awards Arrivals of the Day

I didn’t watch the American Music Awards because they are a waste of fucking time, even though every acceptance speech is about how shit changes lives, but unfortunately my life wasn’t one of those lives changed today, because I don’t own a TV, but if I did, I’d be living the fuckin’ dream and I […]

2007

11

Oct

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

Last night ended with me being the last person in the bar talking to some dude who was with some busted girl and every time she turned away he’d reassure me that he doesn’t normally have sex with such ugly girls but it was 3:30 in the morning and he figured why the fuck not […]

2007

04

Oct

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

I am so fascinated by girls who idolize Jenna Jameson. I met a girl last night with bleached blonde hair dressed like a pornstar who introduced herself as Jenna. I asked if that was her real name and she said no and that she just thought it sounded sexy, and when I asked if it […]

2007

25

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

So I finally fell off my high horse about the whole Paris Hilton situation when I realized that no one gave a fuck about my story, even though I thought it was awesome. I had to deal with a wicked hangover all day, but since shit made me feel so awesome last night, it was […]

2007

08

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

I had a horrible day yesterday. At first I blamed the fat gene for wronging me and making me tired and lazy and unable to breathe when walking upstairs, or downstairs on on flat…but then I realized it was because I only slept 2 hours. The night before. I had all kind of great stories […]

2007

27

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

I accidentally went in the kitchen and ate food that was in the fridge that had been left over from over a month ago. I was hungry and didn’t think it through. I guess the real highlight of the experience was that I was too lazy to wash a plastic fork I have lying around […]

2007

20

Jun

I am- stepLINKS of the Day

I have been listening to a group of black guys doing smoke shows with their 1990 Pontiac for the last fucking hour. All I can smell is burnt rubber and all I can hear is squealing in my ears. I am annoyed but don’t want to go outside because today is not my day to […]