Someone asked what the most embarrasing song on your ipod is…I wrote: my wife taking a shit- it isn’t a technically a song. But it could be…you know like that whale songs shit!?…literally. And for some reason, I thought that was a funny…mainly because it is true…and then I realized that makes it not funny…but […]

Fuck you, I talk too much. I’ve been sexting a bitch all night and she won’t show me her fucking pussy. I am drunk and dancing around like an asshole. I am humilated but that happened long ago…. Here are my stepLINKS…. Kim Kardashian Tit Shot GO J.Lo Used to Flash Her Pussy A Lot…. […]

I haven’t died of my birthday drinking because I gave up on the whole birthday party thing two days ago, it made more sense in theory than in practice because the older I get the more and more lazy I get, don’t get me wrong I’ve been drinking every night hard, but I haven’t left […]

It is officially not just my birthday but all of our birthday. I spent it writing a site no one reads. I should be at getting an erotic massage from an Asian who’s into jerking off strange dick cuz its a cultural thing but I am not. I guess there’s always tonight to cause some […]

I used to have a girl I dated who was paranoid I was fucking other girls. I guess because she lowered herself to get with me, she figured I had that affect on most women, unfortunately she was wrong. But every night I would come home and the first thing she would do is sniff […]

I am drunk and hungover at the same time. I am pretty sure it will all end eventually. I don’t get why I can’t get more follower on twitter. I fucking kill that shit like it is my liver, or like how Heidi Montag’s family should kill her, or how I kill every girl’s libido, […]

I just went to the weirdest restaurant in some back alley, the windows were covered with shower curtains so that people inside could smoke cigarettes and weed and the chef and owner, who was obsessed with Cuba, drunker than me, and who could hardly formulate a sentence but was talking some shit about how we […]

I was walking my wife’s dog 5 minutes ago, I am feeling a little drunk, I drank because my site is still under attack by scientologists. I would have drank anyway. I saw a pair of grey American Apparel thong underwear lying in a snowbank, I wondered all the possible ways they got there. Was […]