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Archive for the Cindy Crawford Category

2009

Mar

Cindy Crawford Lathered Up for Allure of the Day

I hung out with Cindy Crawford once, you know in the 90s when she was at the top of her game and I was one of the biggest fashion photographers in the industry, we had a little falling out when I told her to spread that pussy wider, when she was trying to be wholesome and all American and totally against spread eagle pussy shots and she got me kicked out of the industry because she’s just that powerful and my life has been on a downward spiral ever since.

Sure, that story was a total lie, but what difference does it make, it’s the fucking internet, I did see Cindy Crawford a few months ago when she was promoting some shitty furniture line at some discount furniture store, and she was pretty fucking amazing looking, the kind of girl who I should have run up to with my point and shoot camera and ask to spread that pussy wider, only to get escorted out by security, but I didn’t.

I did go to some weird strip club this weekened, where some slow, older stripper in costume got naked and soaped herself on stage, seems a little ambitious for a whore who makes her money when she charges people to grab her tits, but I guess I appreciated the effort.

Here are those allure pics, they hit the internet yesterday, I was napping….

Posted in:Allure|Cindy Crawford|Naked

2008

Aug

Cindy Crawford’s Topless on the Yacht of the Day

7 Comments »

Here are some more pictures of Cindy Crawford on some Yacht with George Clooney and her husband and like most people on Yachts in Europe do, she decided to take off her top and tan them titties. I really don’t find there to be anything offensive with seeing this mother of 2 topless, when normally I am thrown off at how a body is destroyed by childbirth everytime I accidently see a mom nude, but the odd time, a girl like Cindy Crawford defies nature and gets her shit back to what it was, leaving her someone worth jerking off to. She’s in her 40s and hotter than 20 year olds I have had, and that’s something that is worth celebrating because now we know it’s possible to retain your sex appeal in the “afterlife”, but also worth crying over because none of our wives look this good. She’s such a bitch for rubbin’ it in by takin’ off her top, but it turns out that I like these kinds of bitches and feel like I need more of them in my life.

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|Topless|Yacht

2008

Jun

Cindy Crawford Was in Montreal of the Day

1 Comment »

I had no idea that Cindy Crawford was in Montreal promoting the opening of some furniture because I tend to not stay on top of events that take place at Furniture Stores and try to focus my social calendar around places girls get naked and not where girls talk about decorating rooms and revamping their houses. The only reason I know that Cindy Crawford was in Montreal this past weekend, is because I accidentally had sex with her, and by sex I mean I was crossing the street when this black SUV almost ran me the fuck over around midnight, they stopped to go into some bar or hotel or some massage parlor or whatever the fuck it was and this tall chick in a red dress got out with 4 dudes who must have been her security. I was with a friend and he told me that it was Cindy Crawford so I screamed “Cindy, I used to jerk off to your playboy pics before my dick stopped working”, she ignored me and kept walking but I know she thought about it later that night while masturbating, I just have that affect on women.

Here are the pictures of her at the furniture store, a highlight in her fading career but not as much of a highlight in my fading career as screaming that to her. It is times like that that I wish I had a camera, but I’m too poor.

If you find these pictures or my Story Boring, You Can Always Watch This Clip of Cindy Crawford Taking her Panties Off on Leno
GO

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|Montreal

2007

Nov

I am – Cindy Crawford’s 1989 Bloomingdale’s Catalog of the Day

1 Comment »

Every girl seems to want to be a model. I always meet girls who are aspiring models. It seems like it’s the thing to do or at least the dream job for a chick because it assures them that they are good looking. Every fucking day I come across a girl’s posed pictures on the internet and I know she’s just wishing she’ll be walking the runway and traveling the world while fucking dudes in bands or actors, living in Penthouse apartments and making huge money for having pictures taken of them.

I know that out of all the girls I meet who are aspiring models, pretty much none of them are really going to make it, because to be scouted by the right dude and thrown into the right jobs is almost like winning the lottery, but I always encourage them to come over to take some erotic pictures in my shitty apartment when my wife’s grocery shopping because I know that means I have about 6 hours of freedom because my wife loves food, but that’s just because I prey on girls who want to be famous.

Either way, the ongoing joke I have with these young girls is to start off small, like doing the Wal Mart flyer or the Sears catalog, because shit pays well and is better than working at the grocery store scanning my wife’s canned goods….But for some reason these aspiring models have egos and think they are too hot for that shit before even getting started, they don’t realize they need to eat the shit a bit to get to the top and that they aren’t above or too pretty for anything at this point in their career and that’s why I figure that you’ve gotta start somewhere and it might as well be in my bathtub.

So here’s Cindy Crawford in 1989, in a Bloomingdales Catalog modeling lingerie before she became a supermodel, because everyone’s gotta start somewhere. Who knows where her life would be now if she didn’t make that move, so aspiring models….my bathtub is ready and waiting but you may not want to touch it too much, you may catch something.

Related Posts:

Cindy Crawford Bikini Part 1
Cindy Crawford Bikini Part 2
Cindy Crawford’s Still Posing

2007

Nov

I am – Cindy Crawford in Her Bikini Pictures of the Day

2 Comments »

I’ve already posted pictures from this day in Cindy Crawford’s life the other day, but I’ve been really drunk the last few weeks and this type of repetition is a lot better than the shit I pull on a nightly basis, like repeatedly starting fights, repeatedly sexually harassing girls, repeatedly making fun of people, repeatedly introducing myself to the same person 12 times, repeatedly waking up in random places and repeatedly doing the Soulja Boy dance, cuz no one does it quite like me.

I’ve been drinking a lot of vodka lately and since my liver is broken and my digestive system seems broken too, every time I take a shit it smells like fuckin’ vodka and gives me the urge to scoop in and eat the shit to see if it takes off the fuckin’ edge I have from last night.

Speaking of shit. Here’s Cindy Crawford in a bikini, reminding us that everything turns to shit even supermodels we all loved in the 90s become middle-aged soccer moms who have hotter bodies than other middle aged soccer moms, but are still middle-aged soccer moms who will never be 19 years old again and that is one of life’s great tragedies.

Related Posts:

Cindy Crawford Bikini Pictures from the Same Day
Cindy Crawford is Still Posing
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2007

Nov

I am – Cindy Crawford Bikini Pictures of the Day

13 Comments »

In being hungover, uninspired, bored and lazy. I decided to let some girl who added me to facebook write this post without having seen the pictures because this shit’s like American Idol, the blog version, only difference is, writing on the site doesn’t make you an idol to anyone except maybe to people in third world countries, but that’s just because they’re jealous that you have a computer and free time to spend writing garbage for a website, while they’re out working the field and eating bugs to survive.

This is what she wrote:

Cindy Crawford is an ugly old bitch who sucks and I ahte her. I wish she would take that mole off her face and shove it down her throat so that she’d choke and then die. But I’d still fuck her.

Related Posts:

Cindy Crawford Covering Her Old Body on the Beach
Cindy Crawford’s a Nose Picker
Cindy Crawford’s Got Some Cleavage
Cindy Crawford and Her Bondage Hat

Posted in:Bikini|Cindy Crawford|Model|old|Unsorted

2007

Oct

I am – Cindy Crawford is Still a Super Model of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Cindy Crawford talking on a cellphone at some toy store she brought her kids to, because when you are rich and you have kids, showering them with things they don’t need is what you’ve gotta do. I am guessing they are probably her life because she’s really got nothing else going for her, I haven’t seen her cast on Dancing with the Stars or any Celebrity Big Brother shit, so I can safely assume that her kids are her purpose. The reason I am posting these pictures is because I thought it was funny that she pulled her phone away to strike a pose for the paparazzi like she’s still a fuckin’ supermodel, I guess it’s hard to grasp that your getting older and trying to prove that you’ve still got what it takes makes you feel better about things. I once knew am old dude, I’m talking in his 70s who used to be into boxing when he was a kid and was some kind of champion, every time dude got drunk he’d lapse into that boxing tough guy mentality and pick fights with young college kids to prove he still had it and every single time he’d end up getting his fucking ass kicked….but just kept on doing it. I guess you gotta respect that kind of spirit, it’s a lot more inspiring than you being too scared to get a job because your mom’s going to ask you to move out of her house because you like that she always cooks you dinner, there’s always food in the fridge, your laundry always gets done and bed always gets made. If only chicks found that as appealing as your man-pussy ass. Yeah I know the whole living with your mom virgin thing is getting repetitive, but I am telling you it never gets old for me….

Related Posts:

Cindy Crawford’s Got Hot Mom Tits
Cindy Crawford on the Beach
Cindy Crawford’s Bondage Hat
Cindy Crawford Pickin’ her Nose

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|Ex-Model|Milf|Posing|Unsorted

2007

Jul

I am – Cindy Crawford Being a Hott MILF of the Day

1 Comment »

Cindy Crawford

I got an email from one of the 5 people who read this site occaisionally saying we give way to much exposure to the young, trashy Hollywood cunts, and that we need to post more MILFâ€™s, so hereâ€™s some Cindy Crawford action which I hope is okay because she A) is a mom and B) you (probably) want to fuck her. If Iâ€™m wrong just cut me a bit of slack, because Iâ€™m an 18 year old girl who thinks more about my eating disorder then fucking older chicks, you know? That may change when I got to college next year and start â€œexperimentingâ€?, but more on that later…

I knew this girl Angie, a girl a lot older then me, who was the biggest slut I have ever and probably will ever meet. Every dude that hung out with her had run with her and from what I understand she used abortion as her form of birth control, and I mean Iâ€™m not anti abortion, but like fuck, come on. She had a Mom who everyone used to fuck as well, and the whole thing was really bizarre to me, cause I was like 15. Thing was, she wasnâ€™t like a hot mom either, you know? More like white trash alcoholic welfare Mom.

Anyways, the whole joke this during time was that no one would ever go down on the mother, and that no one wanted to â€œeat the big black holeâ€?, cause you know apparently she didnâ€™t keep her bits to clean, if you know what I mean, and the smell wasn’t too pleasent. None of them seemed to have a problem fucking her tho, which never made any sense to me, but there you have it. Anyways, somehow it got out that this dirtbag who hung around us name Paul had, in fact, done just that. The gossip spread like wild fire, and before you could say Vagisil, everyone was ragging home about it. The climax came when someone spraypainted PAUL ATE THE BIG BLACK HOLE on the side of our gymnasium. I think he moved shortly after that.

Hereâ€™s some pics of Cindy Crawford. I bet her Vagina smells like flowers.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Related Posts

I am â€“ Cindy Crawfordâ€™s Bondage Hat of the Day
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I am â€“ Cindy Crawford on the Beach of the Day
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I am â€“ Cindy Crawford Nose Picker of the Day
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Posted in:Cindy Crawford|Milf|Model|Unsorted

2006

Jan

Cindy Crawford Nose Picker

2 Comments »

The main reason Cindy Crawford is a washed up supermodel is cuz she’s old and had too many babies. Preganancy is the worst STD, yes, worse than AIDS, don’t you watch the news, they have this AIDs cocktail that makes it so you don’t even have the disease. It’s like the cool-kids disease where pregnancy is for the losers in your highschool, the fat bitches no one spoke to, and babies destroy most lives and bodies they pass through. That’s why abortion is the best contraception and condoms are for pussies. But don’t take my word for it, try it out yourself and see how you like it. I am a big believer in “giving up”. When one aspect of your life falls apart, so does everything else, shit’s got a domino effect. The only thing that used to go up Crawford’s nose 10 years ago was high grade cocaine. Now that she’s a washed up mom she stuffs her fingers up there, in public. It’s all about having a little discretion you trashy cunt.