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Archive for the Beach Category

2009

13

Jul

Ali Landry Hangin’ on the Beach with Topless Chicks of the Day

2 Comments »

It looks like Ali Landry is on the “Get in the Tabloid to Show Off My Mom Body Kick”, so she hired a paparazzi agency to follow her to the beach, where she posed and played in the sand with her daughter in hopes of tricking everyone into thinking she’s just this cheery and posing when she’s on the beach with her daughter, so that they publish her picture as a “hot mom body of 2009” hopefully to add some fuel to her career, like any desperate has-been who was only known for her looks would do as her celebrity status dwindled down to pretty much nothing, but her bank account is still intact because she married some rich motherfucker as wallet fuckers tend to do.

Here she is with her topless daughter cuz it’s never too young to teach them how to make a dollar or at least show them how mommy got famous. Next weeks lesson is on the gag reflex….

Pics via FAME

Posted in:Ali Landry|Beach|Bikini|Topless

2009

13

Jul

Janice Dickinson in a White Bathing Suit on the Beach of the Day

7 Comments »

Janice Dickinson brought her corpse to the beach….at least that’s what I hear her pussy smells like….at least that what her body makes me think her pussy smells like and I figure jerking off to this half dead whore is a lot easier than digging up fresh corpse in the cemetery risking getting caught or having a heart attack, or even easier than applying for a job at the mortuary to get your fix of rotting cunt.

Good morning, I’ve slept in today….

Pics via FAME

Posted in:Beach|Janice Dickinson|White One-Piece

2009

09

Jul

Laetitia Casta is Ready to Drop Pregnancy Porn on the Beach of the Day

11 Comments »

I never really knew what Laetitia Casta did, but she was all the rage on the internet a bunch of years ago, but that time is long gone as she is no longer the hot half naked slut in pictures, but the pregnant mom on the beach who is ready to fuckin’ drop. Now I know some people find pregnancy beautiful and natural but I find it the most disgusting and unnatural lookin thing that could happen to a woman’s body and knowing someone fucks this is almost as disturbing as you jerking off to it.

Posted in:Beach|Laetitia Casta|Pregnant

2009

07

Jul

Victoria Beckham’s Ass on the Beach of the Day

6 Comments »

Victoria Beckham and David Beckham are celebrating their anniversary on the beach. She is wearing some variation of a bikini that I don’t fully understand but assume have something to do with not wanting to show off her violated stomach from having babies, but I could be wrong, not that you care about what she’s wearing while David Beckham is standing next to her in a white speedo, because nothing says homo like a white speedo, and nothing says almost gay like 98 percent of European soccer fans I’ve met over the years who claim to have a non-sexual crush on this motherfucker, they just respect his fitness level, his talent in the sport and his chiseled good looks, and I am sure can’t help but wonder if they get see thru when wet, I mean it’d be just a small taste of what life in the locker room with him was like, something all those dudes would just love to experience but just for a day.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Beach|Victoria Beckham

2009

06

Jul

Nicky Hilton in See Thru Shirt on the Beach of the Day

4 Comments »

It’s funny that one daughter from a family can turn out to be pretty low profile and off the radar, who stays out of the media spotlight and who uses her priviledged life to set up businesses that she likes, while the other one turns into a heavy cumslut attention craving piece of shit whore with a sex tape and no fuckin’ shame or dignity, just an eye on the dollars and camera flashes, willing to do and say anything to get noticed because her dad didn’t hug her enough as a kid. It doesn’t really make sense to me, because after watching Paris all these years you’d expect her younger sister to be the kind of girl willing to suck off Paris on the dancefloor at some club, because of constant sisterly competitiveness in one-uppin’ each other, just in hopes of getting people to talk about her, but instead she just walks the beach covered up with her boyfriend who is wearing some annoying “rich person humor” hoodie. Assholes.

Posted in:Beach|Nicky Hilton|See Thru

2009

02

Jul

Maria Del Alamo and Gary Dourdan and the Beach of the Day

7 Comments »

This girl’s face may be a little bullshit and I’m not just saying that becuase there’s some brown motherfuckin shit all up on it, I am saying that because she’s got the kind of nose that makes you think you’re jerking off to a caricature you bought on the boardwalk, but whatever the fuck is goin on with her body is pretty fuckin’ alright by me.

Her name is Maria, she’s trying to remind us of some new age West Side Story, when really all she is is the dude from CSI’s drug connect frontin as his love interest, because it makes things less suspect. I’m onto you, when really I’d just want to be cumming on you. Word.

Posted in:Beach|Gary Dourdan|Maria Del Alamo

2009

19

Jun

Dude from Grey’s Anatomy’s Wife on the Beach of the Day

2 Comments »

The big news to housewives and single middle aged women today is that Grey’s Anatomy star just quit the show and they’ve been forced to retire their vibrators on whatever nigth it is on, to do something else with their time, like emotionally eat the loss away.

The big news to me is that he married a black girl 15 years ago and they have 5 kids together. That’s on some next level shit cuz I can’t even get black girls to talk to me when in line at KFC together and I make awkward conversation about how good a deal this crazy tuesday 2 dollar chicken is….

Posted in:Beach|Grey's Anatomy|Justin Chambers|wife

2009

19

Jun

Emilie de Ravin and Robert Pattinson on the Beach Makin’ Out of the Day

2 Comments »

Here’s some cunt from Lost with a stupid name that reminds me of bad poetry you’d expect some art fag who decided to chat you up in a bar one night, when all you wanted was to get fuckin’drunk alone, but instead have to listen to him cry about his life philosophy, like I give a fuck.

She is on the beach with her useless ass in useless shorts and a useless bikini top with useless tits, making out with the teen hearthrob Robert Pattinson, who hit big because of that piece of shit money making scam that is Twilight, which only makes sense, because she hit big because of that money making scam that is Lost.

Fuck all these motherfuckers and their bullshit. That’s all I gotta say about that.

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Emile de Ravin|Robert Pattinson

2009

09

Jun

Meital Dohan is and Israeli Actress in a Bikini of the Day

9 Comments »

I don’t know much about Israel. I do know it’s a country that was built on some Arab country’s land to give Jews a home because the world felt bad about them during the Holocaust.

I have a few friends from the local Starbucks who got to visit Israel for free because they were Jewish and some organization wanted to brainwash them into feeling guilty that they weren’t in Israel defending their promised land.

I hear they have good beaches, hot bitches, and that Israeli Jews are more hardcore, fun and interesting that North American jews who are whiny, wheezy, wimpy and have this superiority complex and think the rest of the world doesn’t exist, making them annoying to be stuck behind in line, or serving in a restaurant, not to mention a lot of the girls look like rats, with their weird hook noses, eyes that are too close together and health issues all from inbreeding, I mea some of them have dad’s who were smart enough to marry a non-Jew to get some new genes in the pool, or are nice enough to buy beauty with plastic surgery, the right clothes, and weekly hair appointments, so they aren’t ALL gremlin-lookin motherfuckers…

So I have no idea who Meital Dohan is, but she’s an Israeli actress, she’s on the beach and here tit is falling out of her bikini and it’s alright….

Video Via: ProseBeforeHos

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Meital Dohan|Nipple

2009

29

May

Amy Winehouse Rocks the Interracial Relationship in a Bra of the Day

4 Comments »

The problem with this Amy Winehouse relationship with a black man is that you can’t tell if motherfucker is gold diggin’, you know trying to live the Good Life like he was Kanye West, by riding off this bitch’s success, or whether he’s just getting up in that because she’s white, you know because black dudes will fuck the most disgusting white girl. Not that Amy Winehouse is really pure white, I hear she’s rotting from the inside and has a black pussy that matches her soulful black voice. I actually did hear that, but definitely assume that and it’s all part of the reason why I masturbate to her pictures….

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Beach|Bra|IRC