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Archive for the Beach Category

2009

30

Mar

Kelly Brook in Her Bathing Suit of the Day

If you’re wondering why I am taking so long to post pictures, it’s because I paid a homeless dude 2 dollars to let me take a picture of his dick. I am now wondering if that makes me gay or not, but after lookin’ at these pictures of Kelly Brook, some UK model no one cares about, and her ridiculous tits, I realize, I’m definitely not, I just like exploiting the desperate, no matter what gender they are. Here she is in some staged bikini/bathing suit pics.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Beach|Bikini|Kelly Brook

2009

19

Mar

Shauna Sand is Topless on the Beach of the Day

Skinny, flat-assed Shauna Sand came out to play on the beach topless in these staged pictures.

She looks a hell of a lot better than usual, she’s got rid of the shitty plastic whore shoes but managed to keep shit trashy and keep her stripper genes proud by wearing Ed Hardy and rockin’ a skinny boy toy who likes Ed Hardy so much he got his favorite T-shirt tattooed on his shoulders. The whole thing stinks of vodka, crystal meth and HIV, but I’ve seen a lot worse out of slutty women like this in my life.

I don’t know. I could be horny. But I think she looks pretty hot and those fake tits look worth cumming all over. Yep. I’m just horny. Hey ladies.

FROM THE ARCHIVES….

Shauna Sand in a White Bikini
Shauna Sand’s Meaty Grey Vagina and Tits
Shauna Sand Panties At Some Ed Hardy Shit
Shauna Sand in a Bikini Riding Gay Shit
Shauna Sand in a See Through Dress

Posted in:Beach|Shauna Sand|Topless

2009

16

Mar

Russell Simmons and His Girlfriend Playin’ On the Beach of the Day

So very rich Russell Simmons was spending some time kickin’ it in Miami and he brought out some new girlfriend, who I am sure is dating him for his cute his adult lisp and his Earthworm Jim face and not becuase he’s got a pile of money.

They were doing some Yoga on the beach, actually he was doing Yoga, she’s just a lazy cunt who wallet fucks to get everything she wants, because why work or put effort into anything, when you can just give up your pussy for personal gain, it’s a hell of a lot easier.

Not to sound gay or anything, but based on the positions Russell’s in, I gotta get myself in a Yoga class, to ideally see chicks doing this because it’s like fucking porn….no wonder Yoga’s taking over the motherfuckin’ world.

Posted in:Beach|Girlfriend|Russell Simmons

2009

09

Mar

Jordan in Her Towel Bikini of the Day

So exhibitionist, successful slut, borderline prostitute, with the dumbest set of fake tits, and the ability to pretty much attach her name to any useless product, was out at the beach, but instead of being half naked and sucking on a set of testicles while getting her pussy licked, like you’d expect the whore to be, at least based on her shitty sex tape that hit years ago, she’s wearing a couple towels and covering up more than a Muslim chick or that pilgrim lookin’orthodox jew I saw outside with her 8 kids the other day and who I asked if she would come over to host my thanksgiving party where we pretend to rape and pilage natives, but she just ignored me, I guess her religion raped and pilaged her vagina enough to not have a sense of humor, but maybe it was just because she’s not allowed to communicate with non jews since we’re heathans, but more likely it’s just that it wasn’t funny and I should have gone with my horse and buggy joke instead.

Either way, I wish some bitches took Jordan’s lead and wrapped the fuck up when it came to bikini time, I’m talking to you fat chicks.

I guess Jodan not happy with how her body’s looking, and here she is doin some stretchin….before a work out to tighten shit up…

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Jogging|Jordan|Stretching|Towel

2009

02

Feb

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Hit the Beach in Rio of the Day

So I came across these pictures and this was the caption attached:

Tom Cruise and wife Katie Holmes take daughter Suri to the beach in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. After leaving their posh hotel in a four-car convoy amid heavy security they entered a Brazilian military base and hit a beach within the residential area of the compound. There they played in the sand

A military base that was so secure the paparazzi could get in and get these intimate shots, I call staged bullshit on this motherfucker. Everyone knows that when Tom Cruise goes to Rio, Katie Holmes is not invited because that’s “Daddy gets fucked up the ass by tranny time”.

Posted in:Beach|Brazil|Katie Holmes|Rio|Tom Cruise

2009

26

Jan

Kelly Rowland Was On The Beach of the Day

Kelly Rowland was out on the beach, doing the only thing that makes sense and that’s getting a little sun, because I guess she doesn’t feel dark enough now that’s she’s made all this money in the white man’s world by appealing to white girls. I like to call this shit getting back to her roots and keeping it real, even if the concept of black folk tanning makes no fucking sense to me. On a side note, she has fake tits and forgot her bikini, but you probably already figured that part out on your own. Forget what every teacher, boss, family member and friend has ever said about you being a fucking moron who will amount to nothing, you just proved yourself to be a genius to me and sure that may not get you anywhere in life, but sometimes that pat on the back is all you need.

Posted in:Beach|Kelly Rowland

2009

20

Jan

Paris Hilton on the Beach of the Day

Here is something that pretty much amazes me. Fila, an athletic company has hired Paris Hilton to be a spokesperson for the brand. She’s not a model, she doesn’t have model appeal, she’s just a slut who does nothing, especially when it comes to fitness. Is the company’s mission statement to spread STDs, laziness and being a disgusting human being? Is their slogan, “Exploit your family name, release a sex tape and ride the wave that causes”. Are they telling us to fuck working out or taking part in sports unless that sport is sucking dick, huffing coke and hosting celebrity events?

Is Fila telling me to drive drunk, convince little girls that being a vapid stupid piece of shit the disgraces humanity and makes a mockery of Hollywood, fame and celebrity is a reputable goal in life? Are they trying to move away from being an sportswear company and moving into prostitution apparel? I don’t fucking know or care, but I do know that FILA is from South Korea and Korea loves tall blonde American sluts, so maybe it’s just the CEO’s way of getting into Paris Hilton’s pants…which is really the only thing that makes sense.

Posted in:Beach|Bikini Top|Paris Hilton

2009

10

Jan

Lily Allen Picture of the Day

I decided to start a new feature that will probably only last this one time, so take it in, shit’s limited edition like all those street wear kids like their shoes to be. I came across this picture from a week ago of my favorite chubby UK singer with a barren uterus and cocaine addiction, Lily Allen and her very old “I have daddy issues because the man I am fucking has grey hair and a middle-aged beer belly” making out on the beach, but this picture was in the set and it was just too funny to not post. And that concludes the Lily Allen Picture of the Day

And here’s the grey haired dude she’s fucking setting up this shot because he’s a fucking pervert who clearly likes girls who know how to get a good abortion/miscarriage.

Posted in:Beach|Lily Allen|Picture of the Day

2008

22

Dec

Stephanie Seymour is One The Beach Showin’ Off Her Ass of the Day

Sure Stephanie Seymour is a bit of a slut. She’s dated married men since she was 16, she has kids with different daddies like she lives in the projects, but along with using her pussy to get ahead, to get what she wanted and to feel validated, she also used it as some kind of weapon or martyr to destroy Guns N’ Roses and for that, she’s a fucking hero.

I hate Guns N’ Roses, they are one of the most over-rated bands, especially if you’re talking to a 30 year old who hasn’t broken free from the High School glory days and while working as a septic tank cleaner or heating/air conditioning repair man, or some other menial shit he hates doing and doesn’t understand how he got there, who sneaks out to the garage or the compay truck on break to crank up Appetite for Destruction where he closes his eyes, remembering a simpler time, before kids, mortgages, work and a needy wife, you know when all he needed to be happy was just his long hair, a case of beer, a pack of cigarettes a couple buddies, some titties and some Guns N’ fuckin’ Roses on the stereo.

I hate those people, because they don’t realize they are idiots, who fell in love with this band because of marketing and not because they are a good fucking band, and if Guns N’ Roses were legends like these assholes I meet all the fucking time, with the ROSE tattoo on their chest claim they are, and weren’t just a commercial mainstream band like they actually were, their careers wouldn’t have ended in ’92.

So to those people, I think it’s time for you to move the fuck on, and the first step in recovery is forgiving this bitch for what she did to you by taking away your one true love…

To the rest of you, just remember she is the mom of a 16 year old, and your mom didn’t look like this when you were 16 and that’s the whole reason her pussy is a weapon.

To See the Rest of the Pics Because I Don’t Want to Get Sued Over This Slut…Follow This Link…
GO

Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Beach|Stephanie Seymour

2008

09

Dec

Russell Simmons’ New Pussy On the Beach of the Day

Russel Simmons manages to bring his very rich adult lisp to the beach on the regular and he always seems to be doing it with decent lookin’ pussy. Now I don’t know who this bitch is, mainly because girls in bikinis don’t have names, especially when they are brown, don’t hate me, hate the system, but I do know that Simmons is doing a good job making up for not getting laid in his youth, before he became some hip hop mogul worth hundreds of millions of dollars, when he was the awkward balding guy who sounded like a cartoon character whenever he spoke, but who didn’t have enough money to make a girl forget about those deal breakers like he does now, and I guess that’s all part of the American Dream…..

Posted in:Beach|Pussy|Russell Simmons