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Archive for the Beach Category

2009

31

Aug

Cisco Adler and His Shy Groupie of the Day

3 Comments »

Let’s face it, if anyone fucks this dude, it is strictly because he is famous or because he was on MTV or because he dated famous people or because he’s a budding rockstar with a pretty commercial sounding rap group, and it’s got nothing to do with how cool he is, how big his scrotum is, or how good lookin or talented he is and that’s why she’s covering her face, because she doesn’t mind the opportunity or doors dating him and his rich father may have for her, but she doesn’t like the rest of the world peering in and calling her out on her little strategic play, because even she knows it is pretty much bottom feeding at its best and that’s something you can’t stand tall and proud and celebrate, especially when we all know his dick’s been in you, you fucking dirtbag.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Beach|Cisco Adler|Groupie

2009

31

Aug

Kristin Cavallari in her Useless Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

I haven’t figured out what is worse, the fact that Kristin Cavallari’s got enough of a career to justify the paparazzi releasing pictures of her, even if she’s paying them to take the pics, or the fact that I am writing about her. I am going to go that me writing about her is worse, because I have control over that shit and if I was a little more creative, I’d find better ways to occupy my time, like playing tennis, or board games, despite how embarassing both those things are to me, they are better than me giving this girl anymore attention or credit she deserves, meaning I will not praise her useless cunt or make fun of it, she’s a nobody and like most nobodies, I’ll just look, expose myself and move the fuck along.

PICS VIA FAME

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Kristin Cavallari

2009

24

Aug

Natasha Henstridge Goin’ Nuts on the Beach of the Day

2 Comments »

I don’t know what the fuck Natasha Henstridge is all excited about, she looks like shit and she knows it, otherwise she wouldn’t be all covered up on the fuckin’ beach. Maybe she’s doing it as a distraction, like people will be too preoccupied watching her song and dance clown performance to realize how much she’s let herself go, or maybe she just wants us thinking she’s crazy and that she must be on brain meds that make her retain water or some shit, because compulsive eating isn’t as luxurious a disorder.


Here are some pics of her in her bikini from a year ago when she looked less like an eater and more like someone I wanted to fuck….
GO

Here are those pics of her acting a fool….

Posted in:Beach|Natasha Henstridge

2009

24

Aug

Rachel Zoe Looks Like a Wet Rat on the Beach of the Day

2 Comments »

I was walking my dog the other day and I saw all these flies circling something on the ground. When I got closer I realized that it was some dead animal or its fetus that was hairless and weird lookin’. I am not sure what it was but it was really pink and hairless and looked like skin was pulled over a little skeleton. I thought about taking a picture to share with you, but I am a pussy when it comes to that shit and I started gagging, but thanks to Rachel Zoe I don’t have to because it pretty much looked like she does, just instead of wearing a black sheet on the beach, it wore maggots that were eating its organs….

As much as we can make fun of this rat of a woman, the truth is that she was a stylist at the peak of Lohan/Richie and all those other young slutty celebrities, and she is the reason they all got skinny, and in them getting skinny, they put a ton of pressure on the teenage girls of that era to be skinny, all of whom are around 18 now and all of whom are superficial little sluts who aren’t fat and dress half naked. So if anything Rachel Zoe deserves some fuckin’ love and we should be celebrating her as we watch her struggle on her walk on the beach because she feels weak from not eating, because it won’t be too long before its too late and she’s wheelchiar bound or dead from an anorexic heart attack, and no hero deserves to go down like that….

Posted in:Beach|Rachel Zoe

2009

17

Aug

Shauna Sand’s Family Day at the Beach of the Day

3 Comments »

Shauna Sand spent a wholesome day with her kids at the beach and she didn’t forget her “makes me feel like I am still young and have it going on, you know like back when Playboy was knockin on my door because stupid fake tits were relevant, and people cared about seeing them naked” boyfriend who she clearly has on payroll. She needs him around to grab her ass, otherwise the silicone gets all hard and doesn’t fall nicely, it’s pretty much his job and orders from the surgeon.
We’ve all seen her in this bikini before, it’s boring, repetitive and the only excitement it all brings is what the hell is her daughter going to be like when she turns 18, will she take her mom’s lead and be a dirty, disgusting whore, or did has being brought up with money, given her a better outlook on life, one where she is embarrassed by this trash leading to her not inviting Shauna Sand to her wedding, I guess we’ll have to wait and find out. Stay tuned.

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Family|Shauna Sand

2009

11

Aug

Lou Doillon is a Topless French Actress of the Day

No Comments »

Her name is Lou Doillon, I think. She’s a French actress and she is topless, which is kinda what french actresses do so it is not that exciting to see if you are a fan of Lou Doillon, not that she has any fans, but if she happens to have any, I guess her being topless would also not be that exciting for them because they’d be gay, as everyone knows only gays like French movies, it makes them feel cultured while getting fucked up the ass.
Sure, that’s not entirely true, because I live in a French city and I remember first French movie I saw on late night TV that was about rape and there was full penetration….explaining why all the french girls I know are whores who have anal on the first date….which is something we should all celebrate.

Posted in:Beach|Lou Doillon|Topless

2009

07

Aug

Kristin Cavallari is at the Beach and Not in a Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

Wearing clothes to a beach is like wearing a condom during sex. It’s unfuckin natural. So I don’t know what this Kristin Cavallari chick is doing, other than fuckin’ up the natural life cycle of beaches. If anything she should be hiding her fucking face for crawling back to be on The Hills in the tailend of the show’s lifespan because her cunt ass tried to launch a legit career and shit didn’t work cuz she’s a bad case of inflated ego without the talent to back it up. Not that you care, if anything these pictures are designed to make you hate her more for not playin’ by the fuckin’ rules….it’s too there wasn’t someone on the beach to rip her clothes off of her, but I assume if they did the show producers and camera men who follow her everywhere she goes would step in…..making her a hard girl to rape.

Posted in:Beach|Kristin Cavallari

2009

04

Aug

Avril Lavigne Wrestles Dudes on the Beach of the Day

8 Comments »


The one thing I’d want to see when my wife was off in St Tropez on vacation without me, is pictures of her wrestling some dude in the sand, even if that dude is clearly a gay, but that’s just because I am lookin for any excuse to divorce my wife in a way that I still get paid by her since I’m a broke ass trick, but I’m sure the average person’s blood would boil seeing their wife fuckin’ around with other dudes on vacation, even if we all know that whenever your girl goes on vacation she ends up cheating on you, because it’s one of those out of sight out of mind situations, at least that’s what every dude I’ve ever met who has gone to a resort has told me about how the girls they bang all have boyfriends or husbands back at home, but I wouldn’t know first hand because I’m a broke ass trick.

Speaking of resorts, what I do know is that Sandals Resorts are racist…at least based on this picture of a black dude in a fuckin’ tuxedo sitting in the pool to serve some cunty high maintenance white people like some kind of man servant with no fuckin’ dignity…who they don’t even give a fuckin’ bathing suit to serve them in…it’s like “Boy, you put on this tuxedo and you serve our lazy asses cuz we don’t wanna get out of the pool but we do want a drink, your job depends on it”..

Anyway, Avril and her lame husband are clearly not together anymore, even if her thighs look chubby, like they would belong to a married woman, and I don’t know why I am writing about it.

Posted in:Avril Lavigne|Beach|Good Wife

2009

24

Jul

Tara Reid is Still Alive and She’s in Some Shorts of the Day

5 Comments »

Tara Reid was at some party and I thought she was trying to seduce the bottles of booze, at least it looks like she’s coming onto it pretty hard, all pussy out and ready to take it all in, but it turns out she’s got a new man and his name is Michael Axtmann….

Now, Michael Axtmann is a really lucky guy. Not only did he get Tara Reid ten years after her prime, you know so that he doesn’t have to deal with pretty much anyone wanting to fuck her, except for maybe a few latch-ons who can’t let go, because after years of hard drinking and drug use while not working, people tend to forget about you, as long as they are OCD creepy chronic masturbations, but he also gets Carson Daly’s sloppy fuckin’ seconds and that’s something I’m not too sure I’d be able to live with, I’m talking murder suicide after someone tells me a bitch I am with banged Carson Daly, no matter how much younger or crazier she was. Not to mention everytime he pulls down her pants, not only does he see Carson lookin’ back at him, but he also realizes he’s hallucinating thanks to whatever fumes she’s got seeping out of her pussy, pores and pretty much all her orifices as her body tries to eliminate the pollution.

I guess the good news for her is that he’s German and has no problem with the fact that she’s lost control of her bowels, if anything that’s probably the reason why he’s with her…

And here she is in shorts and I think I’m in love.

Posted in:Beach|Love|Shorts|Tara Reid

2009

15

Jul

Some 90210 Trash on the Beach Almost in Bikinis of the Day

3 Comments »

The aspiring actors who are doing their training on the set of 90210 in some kind of paid internship were shooting on the beach, because they aren’t real actors yet, but they sure as hell are trying to be.

They weren’t wearing their bikinis, but Annalynne brought her monkey lookin’ ass out in something that shows off her skinny stomach, which is something some of you girls out there should look at closely then stand in front of a mirror to compare to what your stomach, to realize why she is on TV and you’re not, you fat piece of shit.

This Annalynne bitch proves everyday that you don’t have to have looks to get ahead, you just have to not be a fatass. So all you young girls take that in and think about it the next time you go out for ice cream you fuckin pigs. The only way a fat chick would get on 90210 would be to be made fun of by the skinny chicks and no one wants to be that girl.

Bonus – Here are other phony actors on the set of Gossip Girls trying to show the 90210 chicks up. They need to fight in a lesbian fisting death match….because Hollywood’s not big enough for this much talentless pussy…

Posted in:90210|Annalynne McCord|Beach|Bikini|Trash