You wanna know what I like? Candice Swanepoel.Sure Victoria’s Secret pics fucking suck…and are pretty much the worst when it comes to half naked international babes posing….but luckily for them…being the worst at a great thing….is still pretty fucking great…even if boring…but they make billions of dollars off this shit….in what is the best scam ever….a scam that I wish I figured out because owning Candice Swanepoel like a modern day slave driver….wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world….

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I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky that Candice Swanepoel is a fucking fantastic half naked girl who is sometimes fully naked…like in this picture she posted to instagram…that wasn’t as spread open so I can see her cervix enough…but I’m hard to please….and cervix porn is only something I get into when I really like the girl and want to see how fertile she is…you know so I can really imagine spilling a glass of my semen in there….so that our love can last forever with a new baby…

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Candice Swanepoel posted a bare tit to instagram…and that’s not very christian Victoria’s Secret….your model’s a titty model now….Scandalous…..

Interesting how this favoritism thing works..Candice Swanepoel…an angel sent from Victoria’s Secret….posts a pic of her tit on instagram and she gets 50,000 likes….I post a picture of a girl in a her bra and panties on my instagram ….and I get deleted….4 fucking times…

I am not complaining….I mean I like looking at tit as much as the next guy…especially Candice Swanepoel’s tit…since she’s my soul mate and I write love songs for her…and I think instagram should be all tits…but the fundamental root of this evil is rich, famous, popular getting a way with breaking the rules…and me getting flagged as a fucking porn site….

I am not complaining…I just find it funny that for years, I am talking 9 years that I’ve been doing this….advertisers would blow me off and call me a porn site…while sites they were advertising on posted the same fucking content….making me the worst mainstream site and the worst porn site…all into one…..

So those people are millionaires now….I am still a hurtbag…and it doesn’t all work out in the end….but at least I get to stare at titties in the process…in Arab countries bare tit is worth more than their black gold….Oil….

Here’s the ever lovely Candice Swanepoel breaking the rules in protest….for titties to be seen as art not smut….

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Candice Swanepoel is pretty perfect…even if all you haters are out there hating on her average looking face…because who cares about her face…it’s good enough…and it comes with this perfectly toned when professionally lit and shot body…which is the only interaction I have with her body…making her pretty fucking perfect to me….so perfect that I have written her fucking love songs about eating her ass until it gets waterlogged…not taking a break even when she shits…not that she shits…you see cuz she’s perfect….and more importantly…in being perfect…she doesn’t eat…cuz she’s got perfection to maintain….don’t you people get it??/

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I am pretty sure that like a pornstar with a contract…or a WWE superstar with a contract…Candice Swanepoel has a contract with Victoria’s Secret and they own all aspects of her career…because why wouldn’t they?! I mean they found her, they pumped millions into marketing her, they let her on their all star team, they should fucking monetize and benefit from all aspects of her career because it all stems back to them…I mean it’s not like they are nice people, just helping a South African friend get ahead, introducing her to the right people, they are a business and she’s a pivotal part of it, at least right now…

So in them owning her, I can assume that they also run all her social media, as if she’s a line of panties, and they use her followers to shout themselves out while posting standard archive pics like this, and it’s really not all that bad of a thing….considering she’s half naked in it and that half nakedness totally blinds me from all the evil that surrounds her…from Blood Diamonds….to Blood lace and not just cuz of an unexpected miscarriage or period….all business is evil at least when it comes to Candice Swanepoel….

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Two funny things…

The first is that Candice Swanepoel, my favorite of the Victoria’s Secret models, who my one reader gets mad at me for proclaiming my love, because I guess he never felt love before…not even for some tall, South African farm girl he’s never met…but would still be willing to sing love songs to her outside her bedroom….or chase her to the gate at the airport to say “don’t go”….brought her dog on set and he stole the show…but hiding her tits…in what makes him as bad as when you bang a girl with a dog at her house and the dog doesn’t like what you’re doing to her…..

The second funny thing is that her caption read something like “Milo Stealing all the attention at work”….making me assume she actually considers this life a job and not a meal ticket…like she legitimately thinks this is fucking working….because she’s getting paid to stand around in her underwear…and I guess it gives her purpose…or whatever…but seriously I think the definition of work..is far different than being paid to play….but I’ll still forgive her…since we’re connected at the soul and all.

For those wondering, I’m talking to you guy on twitter, Victoria’s Secret doesn’t pay my to promote their bullshit…but the should…

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The other day I did a post on Miley Cyrus Puppy Erotica because seeing a young girl with such a deep love for a puppy is the cutest thing ever….and I like to take cute things….chew them up and shit them out….by suggesting they are anything but innocent fun….it’s my thing…not to mention…you’re all a gang of perverts…and jerking off to a girl and her puppy is hardly the weirdest thing you’ve ever fucking done….

So I felt it was only natural to take two of my favorite things…things that remind me I have a soul….puppies…and Candice Swanepoel’s crotch…the crotch I would commit to for eternity…even though we already are commited….her crotch just doesn’t know it yet….

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