I ran into an old friend who I guess visits the site every once in a while, because he asked me why the fuck I always post on Candice Swanepoel, and that before my site he had no idea who she was, and that even now that he knows who she is, he doesn’t really get why I bother posting her catalog pics, he finds it weird and a little excessive…to whice I say…this is only my second Candice Swanepoel post today, and if I do 20 posts a day, that’s only 10 percent of my content devoted to her, which is practically nothing, I mean sure, I could have done posts on the countless other twats who ignore me on social media, you know giving this bitch no play at all, but have you seen her half naked body? This shit is legendary….and that’s all the justifying I’m gonna do about Candice Swanepoel posts til the end of time…cuz if I had my way this site would be the offical Candice Swanepoel fan club…you know the kind of site that gets me arrested when I start following her around the world for exclusive content…you know passion that is misunderstood as stalking….

Here are the hot body pics….for the evil Victoria’s Secret corporation….

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Candice Swanepoel has a fit fucking body….sure her career depends on it…and she’s living large, making easy fucking money, that is in fact stupid money, because of that career that depends on her body….motivating her 20 days off a month to be spent working on her fitness….cuz it’s the best option for her….cuz she, like anyone else, oulda chose cake and candy and fries….working a desk job….like so many potentially hot girls if they weren’t buried in disgusting….and I think we should thank her for taking the right path…cuz a body like this is a glorious thing to stare at and without it…we have nothing…and there’s no point in living…maybe I’m just being dramatic….the HOLIDAYS GET ME EMOTIONAL …..

Here are the pics….

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The highlight of the Victoria’s Secret informercial was not Candice Swanepoel sucking the dick of the corporation for making her matter…pretty much saying she owed her life to them like a scared battered wife…

But it was listening to her talk…cuz that accent just makes her that much better….and trust me that’s saying a lot coming from me…cuz I hate when models talk…it takes away from their whole being half naked modeling where they belong..

She posted this ass shot to instagram…reminding us that her body fucking matters….and she’s better at doing Victoria’s Secret catalog pics than Victoria’s Secret…cuz Victoria’s Secret despite selling thongs…can’t showcase thongs…INSANE but not as insane as how good this is…

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Candice Swanepoel is at the stage in her career where she’s pretty secure with herself…she’s got the millions of dollars in her bank account…her people are likely turning down jobs everyday…she realizes she looks good enough for people to pay her instead of all the other bitches dying for her jobs….so she can get away with posting pics that don’t flatter her…because who really gives a fuck about her nose, or her broad shoulders…them shits make money….especially when all I’m really looking at is her cute little ass…

All this to say…keep up the good social networking woman…cuz you’re winning at it…or at least winning at giving boners…

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Candice Swanepoel is lovely…and I know I am pretty much buying into the advertising and marketing strategy of Victoria’s Secret, even more than I normally do when I post their girls in lingerie, contributing to their “fame”….but this time, I’ve gone so far as to post their fucking ads, with writing on them, like I am fucking working for them handing out flyers outside my local Victoria’s Secret, that I happen to be banned from, for loitering near the changing rooms one too many times…

I feel like a sucker…but I like her body too much to not whore myself to the billion dollar man.

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Candice Swanepoel posted this bikini pic to Instagram a few hours ago and it helped me start my day off in a relatively decent hungover…rocking 3 hours of sleep…looking for more booze to calm these shakes…kinda way…you know by rubbing it in my fucking face that her life is easy, that her work involves doing what she does in her spare time….but gets paid for it….all while looking better than anything I’ve ever fucked…and I’ve fucked some decent looking prostitutes back before the recession in the early 90s….and for some reason…it doesn’t make me bitter, jealous or angry, I’m just happy she’s sharing with us….

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These looking familar…but I am drunk….and everything looks the fucking same 9 years into this…

I am sure I’ve seen these pictures of Candice Swanepoel in Elle Brazil showing nipple back in September….you know back BACK in September ….but they were emailed me 3 times by 3 different people I can only assume work for the Victoria’s Secret PR team, because the fashion show is coming up…and we need these girls shoved down our throats more than they already are…because Victoria’s Secret has invested a lot of money making them famous…and what their return on investment…and as long as it involves revisiting Candice Swanepoel’s nipple…shot by someone other than Victoria Secret shit photographers…I’m into it…

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As you may or may not know…I fucking love Candice Swanepoel for her personality….it’s got nothing to do with her hot fit body in a thong bikini…a body she gets paid 100s of thousands of dollars to be in shitty campaigns for Juicy Couture like this….shot by Terry Richardson…who snuck into the shit….that I call shit…cuz it fully lacks any originality like all the shit going on out there….

Now I know there are hotter girls than this tall as fuck South African model….but they aren’t the ones in this stupid video…so it’d be stupid to talk about them….wouldn’t it…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel