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Archive for the Lindsay Lohan Category

2008

12

Dec

Lindsay Lohan Gets into the Wrong Car of the Day

5 Comments »

Here’s a little video of Lesbian Lohan getting into the wrong car, which is an honest mistake when you are addicted to cock and haven’t had dick in months, it kinda consumes you, and it’s all that you can think of and you end up forgetting to do the simple things in life, like showering, or leaving the house, because of that burning in your groin, at least that’s what I’ve been told by guys who can’t get laid about their obsession with pussy, and I figure since she straps a dick on in the bedroom, she’s almost an honorary member of the chronic masturbating group of guys who make up the readership of this site, only she gets to masturbate with a friend who looks like a boy and the last time you tried to masturbate with your friend who looks like a girl, he told everyone and it was pretty embarassing. I just re-read this post and haven’t figured out if it makes sense or not, but I think it does, watch the video of Lohan being an idiot because she is one.

Posted in:Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan

2008

03

Dec

How About Some More Lohan Ronson of the Day

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Here’s another video of Lohan and Ronson shopping. I don’t really know why I am bothering posting it, but it kinda made me laugh, not because they follow Ronson around where she tells them they are following the wrong person, or because they confuse her for not being a Jew and ask how her Christmas shopping is going, and not because some New York accent screams out of no where at Lohan asking “How’s your fawtha?”, completely out of fucking context, but I guess trying to either rub in the fact that she has no relationship with her dad, or that she’s got major daddy issues, or maybe he has no idea they are estranged and have issues, or maybe he just likes being an asshole, but because they ask Ronson if she’s had the Ronson shake and Ronson’s got know idea hat they are talking about, but probably assumed they were asking about one of Lohan’s bedroom tricks, but she laughs it off when she realizes that it’s the Milkshake Paparazzi guy trying to push his shit on the people he exploits…Either way, I guess the whole thing really wasn’t all that funny, so I’ll leave you some Asian dude singing Touch My Body because it’s amazing.

Posted in:Lesbians|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson

2008

03

Dec

Lindsay Lohan is a Snappy Cunt of the Day

2 Comments »

Someone needs to get this bitch some serious dick. She’s acting like a little spoiled brat, probably because she is one, as she ignores the paparazzi when walking to her car and then bitches at them for being on her driveway when her and Ronson get home and the whole thing is fucking ridiculous. Sure the paparazzi invade privacy, they get in your face, they annoy you and all that shit, but they only do it when you are famous and accessible. If this bitch really wanted to get away from it all, she’d step down from the limelight, move to some small town or pretty much any city that isn’t New York or LA, but she likes the fucking attention. You know, maybe she could do what so many lesbians before her have done and cut her hair short, sign-up to University, major in Woman’s Studies or the Environment and have potluck parties where they all sit around drinking cheap wine and talking about sustainable building and eating fucking pussy when they aren’t eating organic cookies.

It’s one of those “you lay your bed situations” and her attitude and lesbianism is equally full of shit, if the paparazzi lost interest and weren’t on her doorstep one morning, she’d wonder why they all forgot about her and would probably end up killing herself, so despite her cunt behavior, she loves this shit. Other things she loves, cocaine.

Posted in:Cunt|Lindsay Lohan|Snappy

2008

01

Dec

Lindsay Lohan’s Got Some Skinny Legs of the Day

7 Comments »

Lesbian Lohan is skinnier than ever and it’s all thanks to cocaine at least I assume that it is, I mean I know she’s been eating lots of pussy, but that meat pie’s got really nothing to do with weightloss, even if it has no calories despite the lovely sour fishy taste. I also know that she goes on these benders where she stocks up on shitty food and candy, which I assume is to tide her over from periods when she can’t do blow, like for plane rides, but it could jus tbe her falling off her anorexic wagon.

Who knows, maybe she’s not on drugs, or anorexic and is just addicted to exercise and being healthy while her life is finally finding stability, love and is getting on track….

But no matter what it is, I think it’s safe to assume that she’s tired of being the fat one in her lesbian relationship, since Ronson looks like she was some premature twin with fetal alcohol syndrome who was second in line at the trough while in the womb, you know with her grey skin, bags under her eyes and that look of death only a confused child star could find attractive that she’s always got…

Either way, she’s in leggings, showing off her legs and since I like skinny chicks, I’m posting it.

Posted in:Legs|Lindsay Lohan|Skinny

2008

28

Nov

Lindsay Lohan’s Sobriety is Funny of the Day

1 Comment »

Lindsay Lohan was walking to her car after shopping and she tries to pawn the paparazzi onto Steven Tyler because I guess he’s buying panties at the same store Lohan was at, but instead the paparazzi ask her if Steven Tyler is giving her advice on not drinking, to which she responds “what the fuck are you talking about”. I thought it was funny, but I also haven’t slept in two days.

I’ve been on a bit of a bender that led me into a crack den of a bar last night, shit smelled like piss and was lined with small closed off “VIP” rooms with a couches in them, pretty much set up for people to do drugs in peace, and I snuck into one that was empty to have some alone time, because I was over-served and needed a little cat nap before drinking some more. So I shut the door from the psycho electronic music and the weird crowd the place attracted, but before I passed out, 8 arab dudes in suits filed into this booth I was in. They light up 3 joints, start speaking arab at each other, and I thought I was in some Taliban conference and I was going to be held hostage like I was in Mumbai. They didn’t acknowledge the fact that I was in there with them, they just kept running off with their crazy language, started laughing, started dancing around, hugging each other and celebrating something, I wasn’t really “in” on, so I just sat their awkwardly sandwiched in this small space with all these people and eventually the bouncer came and kicked them out.

I ended up getting fuckin’ stoned because they hot boxed the shit I was in, and it turns out that there was a reason I quit smoking weed 10 years ago, because shit makes me do crazy things, and next thing I knew, I’m on the dance floor, dancing, something I don’t do, with my shirt off trying to make out with this chick lookin for coke screaming that I loved life and I’m sure it didn’t end there, but thankfully my memory does.

So as I sit here recovering, we should watch a video proving that Lohan never recovered and is still the piece of shit crackwhore she always was.

Bonus – Here are some pics of Lindsay Lohan Get Carried By A Gay of the Day, his name is Jeremy Scott, he’s some childish clubkid, hipster fashion designer… but these pics were emailed to me, I never saw them, so why not fucking post them. Right…

Posted in:Jeremy Scott|Lindsay Lohan

2008

25

Nov

Lindsay Lohan Pourin’ a Drink of the Day

5 Comments »

It’s pretty obvious that Lohan has never been sober. She was probably drinking in rehab, but paid off the facility to leave her and that loser she met there alone so that they could get fucked up and fuck, and if anyone was to ask, they were to tell them that she’s responding to treatment really positively, because there is no way this broken down, haggard 21 year old has enough of a mental capacity to stay sober, she’s too broken up inside and it’s all a fuckin front and anyone who bought into her PR spin is a fucking idiot, so when this club in Washington’s surveillance video hit, and Lohan was seen pouring a drink, I wasn’t too surprised, because drinking is what she does, it’s all she knows, and it’s really her only friend.

If you look at Lohan and Ronson, they look like 2 sluts on skid row, trying to find the next fix. Skinny, bags under their eyes, and a sexuality that only comes after being molested/raped/broken on the inside. I know someone who brought Ronson in to play an event a while ago, he claimed that in her contract, it says “no pictures of Ronson drinking are permitted”. It’s some controlled information to try to help revitalize Lohan’s career, but we all know that is over, and nothing can unsink this ship. We also know that you’d have to be drunk or high to have sex with Ronson when not using her for her trust fund and that the best thing to save her career would to straighten her shit out because no one likes lesbians and Hollywood already has Ellen and that’s really all they can handle right now, and the only reason it worked for her is because she’s got a good personality that people can relate to and find fun, and she isn’t some bratty cunt crying for attention that everyone hates, but Lohan hasn’t really caught wind of that yet, because she’s been too wasted.

Either way, here is the video and some screenshots, some Girl on Gender Bender kissing included…Enjoy.

Posted in:Drunk|Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan

2008

15

Nov

Lohan Gets White Powder Dumped All Over Her….of the Day

5 Comments »

I have been ripping into Peta for being a bunch of hippie fucks who don’t see the value in sacrificing the life of a useless animal to make luxurious and expensive clothing for the rich, but they have won me over. Last night, when Lohan was making her way into the VIP room of some club in Paris, some crazed big bushed treehugger threw flour all over her. It may not be the eggs I had reached out to my UK reader to throw at her, but it is still a cake ingredient and it put Lohan in her useless place. On a side note, it was the first time a white substance got close her her face that she didn’t lap up in excitement. That concludes my obvious joke of the day. Next time let’s just hope they throw something that hurts a little more, like a brick, because I think Lohan deserves a little pain for polluting our lives…


Here’s the story:
GO

Posted in:Assaulted|Lindsay Lohan

2008

12

Nov

Lindsay Lohan’s Gone to London With Her Lesbian Penis of the Day

2 Comments »

Since Lohan is out of work and got rejected from Dancing With the Stars, a show that helped revive the careers of her idol Tatum O’Neal, she’s decided to optimize her free time and piggyback on her lover’s career and by getting booked to host parties in the same cities Ronson is DJing at. According to Ronson’s myspace, she’s hitting up London the next 2 days, then moving onto Dubai and India over the next week. I am sure the Arabs and Hindus will approve of this union. I hear they already have a crotchless burka made for Lohan and a traditional male costume for Ronson, because like California, those Arabs aren’t down with queers.

I am just shocked at the uprising they cause when leaving their house, heading to the store to by treats for Lohan to suck on during the flight to keep her from screaming, and hitting up the airport. The chaos that is their life is so unbalanced with how boring these girls actually are, but I am posting the video because I like the way their handler yells at the paparazzi to move….

Here is the event invite:

The Directors of Dolce london cordially invite you to the party of the week.

Lindsay Lohan Exclusive London Party

American actress, Model and Pop Singer, Lindsay Dee Lohan hosts party at Celebrity Haunt Dolce London for her British friends. The “Mean Girls� actress and the sister of super producer Mark Ronson , Samantha Ronson fly into London for a brief visit. The alleged couple hit the headlines this summer when it was rumored that Lindsay Lohan requested her pal Samantha Ronson to play Katy Perry’s hit song I Kissed A Girl during a DJ slot in Los Angeles. The choice of song, which features the lyrics “I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick�, drove the onlookers wild.

Music from DJ Sam Young and Tommy Crane

If anyone is in London tonight, I want you to get into this event and egg this bitch for me and by egg I mean murder, but I’m not allowed to say that, otherwise the police will come knockin’ and we don’t want that, not to mention, she’s done enough murdering her own career, that if anything, me and Lohan are fighting this Lohan fight together….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|London

2008

10

Nov

Lindsay Lohan and Her Fat Friend of the Day

3 Comments »

Lohan is really taking this pretending to be a lesbian shit seriously, because women who like women, unlike men who like woman, are accepting of fat chicks. It’s like girls are all emotional and understanding not to mention like all things that make them look skinnier than they actually are via comparisson, and can see the person for who they are and not be phased by the horrible way someone looks. It’s like they share a special bond with each other, and that bond is that their period making them see past the impending heart attack, diabetes and varicose veins and overall no possible sex appeal, I mean even if she was the last pussy on earth, we’d rather jerk off, and have no problem climbing up a very thick thigh and crawling to a very big vagina, because the hefty person it’s attached to is a nice person beneath all the layers of fat and because crawling back into mommy’s woman is the basis of lesbianism…at least when coupled with not being able to land a man or being abused by a man….

As a man who is married to an obese woman, I can say that there is a reason why normal guys alienate them and put pressure on woman to try to keep fit, and that reason is the smells that come out of those hard to reach areas…..

So my theory that fat lesbians are lesbians because other girls are the only ones willing to give them they love they always wanted and fake lesbians are fake lesbians because of all the male attention they get from it remains truth.

Now I don’t know if this beast of a girl is actually one of Lohan’s vaginas she fucks, or if it’s a fan who won the make a wish foundation, or if it’s Lohan’s fashion accessory to make her look skinner than the cocaine does, or if it’s a relative or old friend who emotionally ate her way to this mess because her friend Lohan always got all the attention from boys leading her to realize life just isn’t fair and the fatter she got, the more people wanted to stay the fuck away from her, because people are superficial and judgmental, but a box of oreo cookies aren’t, but I do know that she’s got a body only a lesbian can like because she’s probably a nice girl, since her bikini body’s not really working on her side and she has to find something of value…..

Posted in:Fat|Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan

2008

04

Nov

Lindsay Lohan and Her Lesbian Tits Re-Hydrating And that’s About All She’s Doing of the Day

3 Comments »

Lohan tried to re-invent herself, sure it may not have been the best idea to go lesbian, you know with the world hating fags, but it worked for Ellen, so I guess it made sense at the time, even though the bulk of her career was based on being in kid’s movies by Disney, a company that only promotes homosexuality in Zac Effron’s dressing room, but after her whole spoiled cunt episode of self-destruction last year, that ended in rehab, it seemed like an interesting step to take, you know to not come across as being a slut by being in a long term loyal relationship, even if it was with another girl, it was seemingly more stable for her career, and interesting enough for people to talk about.

But she hasn’t changed her way, together Ronson and Lohan make sure that no pictures of her drinking or doing drugs surface, despite how obvious it is that she’s still doing cocaine based on how fucking skinny she is and all the shit people have emailed me about seeing her out drinking, but it doesn’t matter, because their lie backfired, because she is just a useless annoying cunt and anyway you present her to the public, she’ll always be that useless annoying cunt.

So she’s been fired from Ugly Betty, She’s not working on any movies, She’s been rejected for Dancing With the Stars, something Pauly Shore wouldn’t be rejected from, she’s now been fired from hosting the World Music Awards, and replaced by Denise Richards, someone who’s career was based on one sex scene and Baywatch, 10 fucking years ago, so I guess it’s time for her to throw in the lesbian towel, because there’s just not much else out there for her. There are no more scandals left to keep her in the media, there’s no body part we haven’t seen and no company willing to hire her….

Sure, aside from the bitchiness, immaturity, bratty, whining, psycho, unstable cunt behavior and the fact that she’s not marketable or worth anything in the celebirty scene, she’s still got a hot set of tits, but anyone can get those, they just have to save up 5 grand, which is something Lohan may have a hard time doing because she can’t get a fuckin’ job, but I guess she’s already made it, so she doesn’t really have to work anymore.

I can’t imagine there really being a comeback for her, unless you consider a Lohan getting fisted by Ronson in Vivid’s next celebrity tape a comeback, but i don’t know how many people would buy that or if it’s even in the works yet, because watching Ronson’s empty ballsack of a vagina is kind of a deal breaker for most people, but not me, empty ballsacks won’t hold me back, I’ve seen a hell of a lot weirder shit….and would love to see Lohan in what would probably be the best performance of her career, except for maybe how she plays up this whole fake lesbian relationship, but I guess that’s not really makin’ her money no matter how good it is…..

So here she is re-hydrating, because she’s pretty much got nothing else going on for her and little to do with her time, while her girlfriend travels the world getting paid too much to DJ shitty events.

Posted in:Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan|Tits