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Archive for the Paris Hilton Category

2009

20

Mar

Paris Hilton Defending Her Tits in a Blue Dress of the Day

7 Comments »

At this point in Paris Hilton’s life, why the fuck does she bother wearing clothes. We’ve all seen her naked enough that you’d think she’d view the world the way my wife unfortunately views our aparment, and that is one wear she is always fucking naked no matter how many times I tell her she’s disgusting or spray her with Febreeze, or try to disinfect everything her disgusting bare ass and flappy fucking tits touch.

I guess it’s gotta do with her trying to be classy, you know denying that she’s a fucking whore, and the whole having lots of money to medicate buy buying herself everything her heart desires, and the whole fun getting ready process cuz it wastes some of the ton of free time she has doing nothing, but most importantly, because it would be a health hazard. That’s not to say I wouldn’t fucker, but I am a pig and it’d be real unfortunate seeing a little stickin’ his tongue on the phone receiver Paris just accidentally fucked because she was walking by it and her pussy suction took over.

Here she is fighting with her dress….

Here’s the video….

Posted in:Blue Dress|Paris Hilton|Tits

2009

12

Mar

Paris Hilton and her Staged Hawaii Vacation of the Day

4 Comments »

If any relationships are real in Hollywood, and not just an extension of their PR strategies, you know where they actually have a soul, connection, love, passion, interest in each other, then the Good Charlotte sister will probably be pretty fucking heavy hearted after seeing these pictures, but not as heavy hearted as when his one true love, his soulmate, his masturbation partner, settled with Nicole Richie and made babies.

Not that it matters because we aren’t faggot’s here and we don’t care about emotions, we believe if fuckin’ whores until our dicks bleed then fuckin’ them some more, you know stringing women along, lying to them, manipulating them and only doing it because they allow us to, not because we’re bad people, but because they are just retarded and like drama, like being mistreated and lied to and love suckin’ dick when they think it’ll get them something. Unfortunately, you’re still a virgin and I’m married to a fat chick I don’t like fucking, but that’s how we should be.

I guess the real joke in all this shit, is that there is no way these pictures aren’t staged, I’ve never gone scuba diving before, but I’m pretty sure there were no paparazzi down there waiting for a celeb just incase they were, but maybe that should be their new strategy, because under water bikini pics, will be something new to jerk off to, and trust me, we’re all lookin’ for that….

The sad news of the day is that Paris was attacked by a shark, but her vagina faught it off and she survived…the shark wasn’t so lucky…and either is this Reinhardt motherfucker.

Here they are getting ice cream…

Posted in:Hawaii|Paris Hilton|Vacation

2009

11

Mar

Paris Hilton and Her Skinny Body in a Bikini of the Day

11 Comments »

Posted in:Bikini|Paris Hilton|Sknny

2009

05

Mar

Some Paris Hilton Making Out With Her New Boyfriend of the Day

6 Comments »

I am not going to make some cheap STD joke because it’s boring and I’m the kind of guy who gets annoyed of seeing the same shit over and over again, because we get it, she has herpes and so does everyone she fucks and there’s nothing funny about that, it’s disgusting, negligence and disrespect to her pussy, so why say shit like kissing her is like sucking on a sewage pipe, or after these pictures were taken the guy in the video died from the complications, or that after losing the bet last week and having had to lick the public toilet seat, nothing really phases this guy, but he best be using a fucking dental dam, a plastic tool that comes in handy for perverts and lesbians into dirty pussy lickin’.

What I will say though, is that I am posting this for her Good Charlotte sister, because nothing says I hate my ex girlfriend like seeing them with another guy, even if we know it’s a publicity stunt, a staged affair, bullshit, a lie, because everyone knows that no one in their right mind would date this whore, she’s a fuck her and leave her asleep in her pink sheets, only to never answer her calls, because that’s how you treat whores, and that this is only going to last a minute before she’s onto someone else.

The reason I am posting this for her Good Charlotte sister, because the heart makes people do crazy shit, I’m talkin’ murder suicide.

Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton walking down stairs…

Posted in:Make Out|Paris Hilton

2009

03

Mar

Paris Hilton and her Stupid Tits of the Day

5 Comments »

Paris Hilton is pretty much over and done with as far as I’m concerned, but she manages to get attention by re-inventing herself with a push-up bra or a bra stuffed with a couple of those silicone inserts that make me feel uncomfortable because they turn me on. I guess she’s too much of a pussy to get real implants, I guess you become a pussy when your vagina takes over your life. If its not tending to the scabs and applying topical cream, it’s finding random dick to put into it and I figure if the whore wants to hold onto the attention she’s used to getting, she should just get a set of fucking tits instead of pretending to have one. Pretending just pisses people off, like the time I pretended to masturbate outside an all girls school on their school on lunch break and ended up getting chased by security. It’s like if I had just gone out and did the real thing, I coulda tuned on the awkward girl enough to make her my future girlfriend interested in further exploring my small penis, because boys she knows just don’t like her, instead I left with an asthma attack from running. Not that it matters.

What does matter is that I hate jacked up movie magic to make tits look like tits when there is no tit to begin with….

Speaking of the rich person weirdness, what the fuck is Ivana Trump into in these pictures?

Posted in:cleavage|Paris Hilton|Push Up Bra

2009

20

Feb

Here’s a Message from Paris Hilton’s Parents of the Day

2 Comments »

I didn’t get shot…I just slept in today – here’s a message from Paris Hilton’s parents to start the day. I don’t know what they said cuz I didn’t watch it. But I am sure it is life changing.

Posted in:Paris Hilton

2009

18

Feb

Paris Hilton and her See Through Dress of the Day

No Comments »

I was wondering when Paris Hilton would try to make herself relevant by getting naked again. It’s been a solid bunch of months of her keeping her shit in lockdown like she used to have to do when she got a herpes outbreak, before not giving a fuck about passing that shit around, but now she’s slowly getting into her old ways and by old I mean actually old, she’s 28 and this shit’s just gonna start lookin’ pathetic after a while, oh wait, it already does.

My main issue with Paris is trying to figure out who the fuck told her she was hot, sexy, or whatever the fuck they told her to make her act this way. She looks like a bird and girls like her are the type who slip the cool guys their numbers at the bar, but leave alone or with some bottom feeding fat guy, only to get booty called by the cool guy if he doesn’t land anything better, all while acting like god’s gift to the fucking world, when clearly they are shit.

But what I think doesn’t matter, I just want to see real tits, I’ve had enough of this computer see through shit. Maybe I’ll get off my ass soon.

Posted in:Nipple|Paris Hilton|See Through

2009

17

Feb

Paris Hilton and Snoop Dog have a Rap Off of the Day

3 Comments »

What the hell is going on in this video and where is the uncensored, unprotected, gang rape version?

On a side note, people are posting these pictures saying that Paris is flashing her vagina, I’m no pantyhose expert despite loving pussy, but I’m pretty sure if this was her pussy, we’d see green shit spilling out of it, and that she’s probably got her lead underwear as to not disintegrate everything withing 5 feet of her….I know…Paris Hilton Rancid Radioactive Pussy jokes are fuckign weak and obvious. It’s early, leave me alone. If you want to see pictures that will remind you of when you were 6 and little sally got a little too riled up fingerpainting and ended up pulling her dress around her head so you could all see her underwear under her knitted tights, these pics are for you. My friend calls it Kindergarten Crotch.

The “close-ups”:

Paris keepin’ it wholesome posing with kids and puppies…

Here she is pulling some Selma in Sierra Breast Feeding Aids Babies Shit…

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Rap|Snoop

2009

13

Feb

Paris Hilton Denies Getting Rihanna Beat the Fuck Up of the Day

3 Comments »

I didn’t know that Paris Hilton had a thing with Chris Brown and that people are speculating that she’s the girl who texted him that spiraled into Rihanna getting beat the fuck up like the second rate citizen she is, but then again, why the fuck would I know that? I don’t live in LA, Paris Hilton has a history of getting her beak of a nose into every scandal she can and when it comes to celebrity of the moment cock, Paris is the number one groupie, following them around, working her way into their pants, by tricking them into thinking she’s famous too, when all her career is, is an excuse to get cock because we all know she didn’t do it for the money, but she did it for the celebrity power that gets her all the cock she wants from even the A-Listers and it doesn’t really matter, because she denies any involvement, but loves the attention and she shows off her stupid Kanye blind-glasses, I thought the cheesy Jewish kids at Bar Mitzvah’s and Sweet 16s stopped on these shits 6 months ago.

I tried staging a Rihanna protest, where I got guys together to burn Rihanna CDs and posters and shit for ruining Chris Brown’s career, bitch. Unfortunately, no one showed up and even my friend who owes me a favor thought it was stupid, but I am still going on this mission because seeing and accepting a non-American taking an American’s job and hating on him for the fight he put up is unpatriotic.

Posted in:Chris Brown|Paris Hilton|Rihanna

2009

06

Feb

Hanging With Paris Hilton in London Video of the Day

No Comments »

I am hung the fuck over. I just managed to crawl out of bed a few minutes ago, so not it’s time to start posting my vomit I call writing like I do everyday. Yay!

Some dude sent me this video of Paris Hilton in the UK. He was hanging out with her and he felt it’d be a good idea to film from the inside out, so people get an idea of what it is to be Paris Hilton. Unfortunately, the dude’s a couple years too late on this, because hanging with Paris is about as exclusive as riding the City Bus, but I know he was excited and impressed by the experience and how she treated him respectfully, which I guess in Paris Hilton terms means she insisted on using a condom because she knew she was having an outbreak and didn’t feel up to passing that shit onto him, which was really nice of her.

Either way, check out this video of the paparazzi going nuts over this tired vagina.

Posted in:Nipple Ring|Paris Hilton