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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

31

Jul

I am – Sophie Anderton at Some Fashion Show of the Day

8 Comments »

Sophie Anderton

I’ve been trying to figure out to do in regards to this guy I have been dating on and off for the last little while. He’s alright and I like him, but I tend to get cold feet around the 2-3 month mark, because I like to have the option to just go fuck who ever I want to, when I want to (cause I’m a bit of a whore like that) and most guys just don’t understand that. They usually pretend like they are fine with it for the first little while, then all the sudden we have to start “talking” about things and the “future”. My future goes as far as what am I going to eat for dinner, and am I going to the bar tonight?

He also developed this annoying fucking habit of calling me all these cutesy names which I guess are some sort of terms of affection, but I don’t stay in relationships long enough to usually experience this type of shit.

This guy I know, a good friend and a self confirmed life-long bachelor, is telling me to get the fuck out and get the fuck out NOW. Unfortunately, this isn’t as easy as my one night stands, where I can just climb out the fire escape to freedom and never look back, my hair blowing in the wind. I made the mistake of not only giving him my phone number, but showing him where I live. Fuck.

Here’s Sophie Anderton. She understands where I’m coming from.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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Posted in:Bikini|Model|Sophie Anderton|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

10 Comments »

stepLINK July 30/07

My ex called me and told me he is coming into town for the weekend and asked if he could stay with me for a few days. We had the the most crazy animal sex I have ever had in my life when we were together. Everyguy I have slept with since has pretty much been a let down, so it is pretty much granted that we are going to fuck if he comes here.

Im usually against having sex with exs, especially if they broke up with me (as is the case with this dude) I’m not interested in dating him anymore, but if there is one thing and one thing alone I miss about him, its letting him fuck the shit out of me for hours.

To top it off I have been working on this site way to much, and watching way too much god damned porn. I need to be dealt with properly by someone who knows how to do it. Needless to say I’m in quite the dilemma over here. What do you guys think?

Click these links in the meantime, ad make me smile…. 🙂

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


Boob Match
GO

Insane bike crashs
GO

Blonde Hair, Big Tits. Do I really have to say anything else?
GO

Me so horny!
GO

More Britney Bullshit
GO

Megan Fox needs to dump David Silver
GO

Still fantasizing about TWINS?
GO

Cars + Half Naked Women = Very Nice
GO

Trapped in the Drive-thru
GO

Cash Warren = Idiot of the Day
GO

Live cow fed to tigers
GO

Two hot brunettes going at it
GO

Ingrid Coronado bikini shoot
GO

Girl caught masterbating. This is actually kinda creepy, but you’re probably into that
GO

Kelly Osbourne looking hot, for a fat chick
GO

Amazingly bad special effects
GO

Jade Goodie pokies
GO

Lola Ponce and her thong bikini on the beach
GO

My kind of kid
GO

Michelle Pfeiffer is hot
GO

Deleted Showgirls scene youve probably seen already, but whatever
GO

Skater versus Priest
GO

Scarlett Johannsson to play Jenna Jameson?
GO

Whats wrong with this picture?
GO

Magic Trick goes terribly wrong
GO

Do you take it?
GO

Make you friend think they have an STD!
GO

Fake blood guts and gore, but still pretty funny
GO

Home Dominatrix
GO

Simpsons celebrity cameo quiz
GO

Crazy trick pool shot
GO

Naked roller coaster record
GO

And MORE Britney Drama
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Karen dreams her first
GO

Rare Arab beauty pagent
GO

Ali Sims sings
GO

Store clerk gets shot by teenaged girl
GO

Faith Hill gets pissed at ballgrabber
GO

Shayla in the pool
GO

Cow crap kills the planet?
GO

Wild Eva and friends
GO

Paris Hilton to star is Space Opera
GO

Angie Everhart engaged to Joe Pesci. Wow.
GO

Gwen Stefani is fucking weird
GO

Usher didn’t get married
GO

Stephen Colbert reunites with the Bush Administration
GO

Wannabe webcam girls
GO

Some hot chick strips down
GO

Naomi Watts finally popped
GO

Paris Hilton looses inheritence
GO

Adriana Lima takes it all off
GO

Get laid, you know you wanna.
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – Thirsty Rollerblading Pedophile of the Day

4 Comments »

I don’t think I am ever going to have kids, mostly because the though of something growing inside me makes me want to throw up all over my keyboard, but if I did I would keep such a fucking short leash on them, they would hate me forever. And when old dudes at the park came up to them and gave them bottled water, I would spray them with my pepper spray and kick them while they were down.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – Britney Spears, Still Crazy of the Day

7 Comments »

Britney Spears

I really just don’t even know what to say this. Wow….just…wow.

I read that her new “video� cost $30 000 of her own money, which by today’s standards of videos and how much they cost, is the equivalent of shooting it on a fucking Sony Handicam. I wouldn’t be surprised if she gave Sean Preston some scissors and tape to edit the fucking thing.

I honestly can’t wait to hear the song and watch this piece of shit and yell at the TV. I’m getting giddy just thinking about it!!


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Posted in:Ass|Britney Spears|Slut|Stripper|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – Amy Alexandra Topless of the Day

1 Comment »

Amy Alexandra

My keeper (he’s been bankrolling my box) sent me alone on a weekend break from my paid vacation to LA. I spent it in San Diego because I like their beaches better than LA’s. Also, since I live in NY, I can’t afford to go to the Hamptons because sand and surf is for rich trust-fund fuckers and the cunts that spit them out, so San Diego was like a 48 hour beach-gasm.

I blacked out after getting drunk in the Gaslight District. I woke up in some blonde tattooed guy’s bed (not into blondes or tattoos). This happens alot. I patted myself on the back though because what i could see of his body was slender but toned and his face was cute. As I quietly gathered my clothes, I noticed a cape, helmet, and what can only be described as super-hero accessories in the corner.

Yeah… I fucked one of the virgin-basement dwellers in town for the Comic Convention. Good news for you: I might have fucked one of you readers. Bad news for you: by the time you get home, your mom will have turned your basement pad into a sewing room and moved your cum-stained mattress into the garage. You won’t care because you have a bunch of new shiny whatever-Man comics to read in between jacking off to these topless pictures of Amy Alexandra from UK Big Brother 8. Just don’t get your man-milk all over your new merchandise because it will decrease its value. No ebay buyer will want to pay $300 for your soiled comic book in 15 years.

Which ever one of you I fucked, kudos for breaking the mold: you were neither fat nor busted, rather svelt I might say. I don’t know how good you were, because I don’t remember.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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Posted in:Amy Alexandra|Big Brother|Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – Nell McAndrew Bikini Pics of the Day

9 Comments »

Nell McAndrew

I get pretty sick of posting stars in bikini’s by the pool all day sometimes, because it pretty much makes me hate every last one of them.

I haven’t been in a pool in a few years now that I think about it. There’s public pools around but the thought of all the 4 year olds pissing and then swimming around in their own piss while they put water in their mouths to spit it at their friends pretty much makes me want to puke.

Since I’m not ten anymore, I don’t have a kid I can pretend to be friends with in order to swim in his pool (man those were the days!!!), and since most people generally annoy the hell out of me anyways, I don’t think I would do a very good job at pretending. Maybe I’ll just put on my bikini and sit in the bathtub.

I don’t know who Nell McAndrew is, but she is in the sun, by the pool, in a bikini, which means if I know anything, it’s that I hate her already.

Hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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Posted in:Bikini|Nell McAndrew|Tits|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – Jaime Pressly the Birthday Whore of the Day

1 Comment »

Jaime Pressly

One thing Julien, our Token Gay Blogger, and I have always bonded on is that we both came from shitty homes with no money and even less morals and values. That being said, we love who we are, don’t deny it for a minute. Seriously, we wouldn’t change a thing. Okay maybe the money part.

This is what Jaime Pressly chose to wear on her birthday, which goes to show that no matter what happens, people never change. I don’t care how many fucking Emmy nominations she gets, she is and will always remain a white trash slut.

Now, I’m just as whorish as she is. You know that old STD slogan that goes something like “you’re not just having sex with that person but with everyone that they’ve ever been withâ€?. If that’s true, if you have sex with me your pretty much just fucked 3/4 of the gays in the metropolitan area. Having sex with me is pretty much the equivalent of picking up a half-eaten burger on the street and finishing it. I’m that used. And hey, I’m also fairly trashy. I come from the kind of household were Cool Ranch Doritios are fancy hors d’oeuvres and Miracle Whip is used as salad dressing.

But ultimately I am superior to her because the difference between me and Jaime is that while I am self-proclaimed white trash slut, I don’t fucking flaunt it. I’m not going to wear a fishnet bodysuit with a big whole in the butt cheek and makeup that makes me look like a Cuban hooker. Everyone knows that I’m trashy; I don’t have to rub it in their faces. Sometimes subtlety goes a long way.

I know saying this to somebody who was in the movie Joe Dirt is pointless, but Jaime, for the love of god, have a little class.

Smooch!

Julien


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Posted in:Jaime Pressly|Slut|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – Kendra Wilkinson’s Days Are Numbered of the Day

6 Comments »

Kendra Wilkinson

Recap: Old client WR flew me to LA for his 50th to nail me for cash. WR puts me up in a hotel, which is weird since I slept over in my hooker days. He hurriedly shows me his Brentwood estate, avoiding the bedroom. I ask for a glass of water. Maybe we can do a quick slam over the breakfast table? My gift to him: I’m generous like that. I hop up on the kitchen counter, flashing some panty. WR keeps his distance. I notice a pad by the phone with a number and a restaurant scribbled in frilly female writing (?).

I’m not invited to the birthday bash, but he’ll pick me up later… It’s 3:30 am and he’s finally fucking me bent over the rail of his boat in Marina del Rey. I’m staring into the dark water while he pinches my nipples. Realization: I am a kept woman. I am not in control. I cut him off, grab his balls and confront… Cunt is dating a gold-digger bent on killing my plan of him dying childless/ alone from his cholesterol issue. I don’t want to marry the douche, I just want to be the hot piece he remembers while writing his will in between strokes.

I squeeze his balls harder, angry: the contact we kept over the years was a waste. He’s not the lonely twat I knew. He’s about to nest. I’m the lonely one now, making out in bars with guys who buy me drinks. I hate him… So I push him to the deck and savagely bone him in ways his new princess never will… I come hard and he pinches a nerve in his back… In the car, he tells me I can have the weekend off, but to be on call Monday night. So I went to San Diego and did the only thing a kept woman at the end of the line can do: spend the weekend slut’n it up in a bar.

Here is Kendra Wilkinson slut’n it up in a bar in Chicago Friday night because she is a kept woman playing second fiddle to Hef’s obvious favorite girlfriend, Holly Madison. Like mine, her days are numbered. I feel her pain. Not really. She is busted in the face and dumber than dirt.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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Posted in:cleavage|Kendra Wilkinson|Playmate|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – Kendra Wilkinson's Days Are Numbered of the Day

No Comments »

Kendra Wilkinson

Recap: Old client WR flew me to LA for his 50th to nail me for cash. WR puts me up in a hotel, which is weird since I slept over in my hooker days. He hurriedly shows me his Brentwood estate, avoiding the bedroom. I ask for a glass of water. Maybe we can do a quick slam over the breakfast table? My gift to him: I’m generous like that. I hop up on the kitchen counter, flashing some panty. WR keeps his distance. I notice a pad by the phone with a number and a restaurant scribbled in frilly female writing (?).

I’m not invited to the birthday bash, but he’ll pick me up later… It’s 3:30 am and he’s finally fucking me bent over the rail of his boat in Marina del Rey. I’m staring into the dark water while he pinches my nipples. Realization: I am a kept woman. I am not in control. I cut him off, grab his balls and confront… Cunt is dating a gold-digger bent on killing my plan of him dying childless/ alone from his cholesterol issue. I don’t want to marry the douche, I just want to be the hot piece he remembers while writing his will in between strokes.

I squeeze his balls harder, angry: the contact we kept over the years was a waste. He’s not the lonely twat I knew. He’s about to nest. I’m the lonely one now, making out in bars with guys who buy me drinks. I hate him… So I push him to the deck and savagely bone him in ways his new princess never will… I come hard and he pinches a nerve in his back… In the car, he tells me I can have the weekend off, but to be on call Monday night. So I went to San Diego and did the only thing a kept woman at the end of the line can do: spend the weekend slut’n it up in a bar.

Here is Kendra Wilkinson slut’n it up in a bar in Chicago Friday night because she is a kept woman playing second fiddle to Hef’s obvious favorite girlfriend, Holly Madison. Like mine, her days are numbered. I feel her pain. Not really. She is busted in the face and dumber than dirt.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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Posted in:cleavage|Kendra Wilkinson|Playmate|Unsorted

2007

30

Jul

I am – Bianca Gasciogne Lingerie Pics of the Day

3 Comments »

Bianca Gasciogne

I ended up watching some movie on the weekend where some kid ends up with brain cancer at the end and dies and blah, blah, blah and everyone I was watching it with was really sad and all that bullshit while I just sat there not really feeling anything about it, because unlike my idiot friends, I don’t get all upset when watching stories about fucking make believe. It’s called ACTING you fucking tards.

To make matters worse, it got all “these are the things we need to do if we ever only have a short time to live� etc, which is fucking bullshit, because you shouldn’t wait till you are fucking sick to do those things, you should fucking do them NOW.

Anyways, I was so annoyed with this god damned situation that I told them all if I get Cancer, I’m gonna sit in my bedroom and hate this world and everything in it. I wouldn’t want any visitors or well wishers and no fucking Chemo either.. I wouldn’t fight at all and would want that shit to kill me as fast as possible and would also smoke more cigarettes in hopes of accelerating the cancer, thereby killing me faster. They launched into the whole cancer isn’t funny thing, and that’s when I made a break for it.

Here’s Bianca Gasciogne. She’s the girl you would like to fuck if you had Cancer and only had a short time to live, cause you are a virgin and will use any excuse to get laid.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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