Unsorted Archives - Page 122 of 511 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

28

Jun

I am – Tennis Bitches of the Day

So I don’t really watch sports ever because I am not a real man. I was asked if I was gay yesterday because i had my hand on a dude’s shoulder. I was drunk and trying to keep myself from falling but still didn’t take offense to the question. I know that real men don’t run sites like this because they are too busy doing construction but reality is that dudes don’t get me hard and never have. Unfortunately, either do women but that is because I have a medical problem, and I keep on trying.

In my life I never thought for a second that I was fag, I always was fascinated by pussy way too much, so much that I would rather watch a porn than watch a bunch of dudes in tights tackling each other. To me sports were pretty fuckin’ homo and even people who played sports were semi-homo too because to shower with a group of men while slapping their asses and thinking about gangbanging the cheerleaders never seemed 100 percent straight. So that said, I am okay with holding a dude’s shoulder, I am ok not watching sports and sticking to watching porn, I am okay with jocks thinking I am a pussy or a fag because I won’t shower with them but when sports become porn, I always make an effort to tune in…

These are some pictures from Wimbeldon of Girls Playing Tennis, and to me this shit is better than porno, bitches bend over, cry screams of pleasure like they are taking it up the ass, flash their tennis panties non-stop, tits flop everywhere, camel toes always happen, and that is why I like
spending my summers next to the local tennis courts…Enjoy.

I guess the shit I love about Pro Tennis though, is that all these Russian bitches dominate and I know they have cousins out there with a lot less broad shoulders and a lot less muscle mass that are totally mail order…and mail order brides are the new high school sweetheart. True Story.

Daniela Hantuchova

Maria Sharapova

Maria Kirilenko

Tatiana Golovin

2007

28

Jun

I am – Marisa Tomei Topless in a New Movie of the Day

3 Comments »

I came across this clip of Marisa Tomei Topless in a new movie. I don’t know when the fuck this is from, so it could be a new movie from 5 years ago, but I haven’t seen this clip before so I figured I’d post it because it’s new to me.

I have been trying to get my friends at the park to write for the site, some of these guys just sit around drinking all day with nowhere to go and nothing to do. I don’t want to out them on here individually, because I know you just care about tits, but one of the dudes is some paranoid schizophrenic who is heavily medicated to the point where you’d think dude was retarded. He just sits next to the bench on a motorized wheel chair scooter thing and yells at the squirrels, there’s another dude who is about 30 and always talks about when he fought in the Vietnam war, even though he wasn’t born when the war was going on and dude’s fucking Canadian, but he is convinced that he was there so I just listen to his war stories that I know he makes up. There another dude who is completely anti government, he talks all this political shit that I don’t really care about but when he goes off on how the government is watching him and has him probed and he starts having a fit jumping in the bushes and smashing his hand on the ground to get the chip they implanted out makes for a good fucking time. The last guy who is around the park and who is always fucked up on something is convinced that he is an amputee, even though he has both his legs and he tells me about the accident he had that took his leg away from him while walking around normally. I’ve tried to tell motherfucker that he’s walking around normally and they he has both his legs, but he won’t listen. There’s another dude who wears a snow suit all the time, even when it is 100 degrees, motherfucker stinks like shit and doesn’t talk much but I am sure he has a lot to say. He is the guy who always tries to break the law to get arrested because he can’t afford food and thinks of jail as a vacation….

Either way, none of that really matters, here’s that Tomei Tit clip from a movie that is new but probably from 5 years ago and is out on DVD. You’ve probably already rubbed one out to it, on pause, on slow motion and even in fastforward to see if you could cum that fast. When you are as lonely as you, masturbation takes on many different forms to keep shit interesting.. I get it.

This is the Streaming Clip
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This is the link to Download the Clip
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Posted in:Marisa Tomei|Panties|Topless|Unsorted

2007

28

Jun

I am – Spice Girls Back Together of the Day

49 Comments »

I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want, I want to see the Spice Girls the way they were and not the way they are. They are getting back together and these are pictures of them at their photoshoot or whatever the fuck a photocall is, letting us all know that no talent can take you to the top and keep you in the public eye for a long fucking time. It can also lead to a new record deal even after they’ve all grown up, got ugly and haggard and had a bunch of kids between them, some illegitimate.

I am sure they aren’t doing this for their die hard fans, because they can’t have die hard fans. The girls raised on the Spice Girls have gone through puberty and are probably in college now, busy doing shit like keg parties and fratboy gang bangs, embarrassed that they used to want to be these cunts and do dance routines to their songs at family functions, and the only time Spice Girls hit their iPods is when they are trying to be funny and think that listening to shit they used to listen to makes for a good fucking laugh.

Either way, I am happy that Posh Spice makes these pictures worth posting. She is the only one who has aged proper with the solid use of plastic surgery and a fear of her husband leaving her for some slut in spain with big tits. Her dominatrix outfit and big fake titties lead me to believe that you’ll be jerking off to their new video like you jerked off to their old videos, only this time you’ll be doing it to Posh, because the other bitches are going to be hidden in the back wearing masks because there’s no way they’ll make the cut, at least if it was my video they wouldn’t.

Posted in:Implants|Spice Girls|Tits|Unsorted|Victoria Beckham

2007

28

Jun

I am – Cheryl Tweedy Still on the Beach of the Day

1 Comment »

I am struggling today, I didn’t even drink that much but for some reason I was out until 4 am wandering the streets trying to find my way home wasted. I think it has something to do with getting 3 hours of sleep a night, not eating very well and having the liver of a 2 year old, in size not performance. The highlight of the night was when I was screaming at the big breasted, big bodied bar maid to serve me a fucking drink while she was too busy dancing it up for some dude she knew at the other side of the bar. My stepdaughter showed up unexpectedly so I did what ever stepfather should do and that is try to whore her out to random dudes for free drinks, it worked a few times and she still hasn’t come home so I can only assume she’s out getting teenage pregnant somewhere. There was a drunken slut in the place that kept making out with dudes and grinding her cunt up against the bar stool and shit, I figured that she’d make a good friend but got distracted from the stripper who walked in with some chachi motherfucker wearing short shorts and trashy shoes that tied up like some gladiator shit to around her thigh.

I am going to start the day with Cheryl Tweedy in her bikini, because she may not be as youthful as my stepdaughter, as big as my barmaid, as horny as the horny drunk girl or as trashy as the trashy stripper bitch with fake tits, but her prison tattoos make her good enough for me.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Cheryl Tweedy|Unsorted

2007

27

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

4 Comments »

I accidentally went in the kitchen and ate food that was in the fridge that had been left over from over a month ago. I was hungry and didn’t think it through. I guess the real highlight of the experience was that I was too lazy to wash a plastic fork I have lying around so I used a spatula with caked on tomato that’s been sitting in my ratty fucking sink for the last 2 months because my wife doesn’t clean and I figure that if I hold out, she’ll crack. I was wrong.

I went to my neighbors to watch the Paris interview, because my life is that pathetic, I lasted about 30 mins before my stomach decided to punish me for being lazy. What I got out of it is that bitch is a business woman and does business things in board rooms with the people who work her businesses and that she’s not a party slut, she’s an aquarius who likes to socialize. She also went on and on and read her shitty writing, forgot to mention me and most importantly forgot to expose herself. She’s full of shit and I am happy I ended up running home to throw up for an hour. She was boring, lacks substance, proves that she is a waste of space and the one thing she wants to change about herself is that her voice gets high pitched when she is nervous, she is trying to pretend to be a wholesome Jesus lover who couldn’t quote the bible, because she never read it. Anyway, Enough of this shit….

I may go out and get drunk tonight. Wait for the update. In the meantime, Click My Links…

Tomb Raider Model Photoshoot Worth A Round….
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Pretty Hysterical Paris on Larry King Clip
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Mariah Carey Showin’ Off Her Tits in Paris
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More Hayden Panettiere Licking Other Things
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Playboy Cybergirl of the Year, Breann McGregor Posing…
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Miley Cyrus Dressed like a Slut and is Underage. Watch Out.
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Dude Makes a Bet With His Wife and Loses. So She Gets to Fuck a Black Dude While He Watches
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Serena Williams Bikini ASs You Probably Don’t Want to Fuck, Her Wallet Is Probably Something You Would Fuck…
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Slut Shay Laren’s Big Tits In Lingerie
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Pimp Beats Up His Whore cuz it’s a Trashy Life…
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Beyonce is a Robot in Concert
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Nicolette Sheridan is a Pretty Hot Old Slut
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Guess the Celebrity Thong
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Gemma Atkinson Bikini Candids that I am Not Going to Be Posting
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Some Self Shot Hot Slut
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This Reporter has Heard Enough About Paris
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Alicia Silverstone’s Got Meth Skin…
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Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen Pretend to Eat in Gladiator Shoes…
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Sienna Miller Lookin’ Hot in Fuck Me Boots
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Hot To Dance Like a Whitey
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Adriana Lima at the Victoria Secret Beauty Candy Store
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Dad is that you?
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This Jordan Sparks Bitch is 17 but Looks 40
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Playboy the Movie Gets Hef’s Approval
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Some Porn Slut Masturbating in the Gym
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Some Slut Shows Off Her Ass
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A little “Can You Take My Picture while my Bikini Top Falls Off Prank…” video
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Rihanna Lip Slip
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I am Pretty Sure I linked this New See Through Bathing Suit Already, But Whatever….
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Stupid Viral Video that will Get People a TV Deal
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Zoo Weekly Has Made Lots of Sluts Famous – Here Are A Lot of Them
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart I May Have Posted
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You Need Sex, Since I can’t Be There For You, Try This…
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

27

Jun

I am – Hayden Panettiere Lickin' Ass of the Day

1 Comment »

Girls these days are crazy. This Hayden slut has grown up so fast. Bitch is already being funny by licking bronze asses and to me that is one step away from giving rim jobs while jerking off random older men in attempts to further her career and have a good time. This is the kind of joke I’d expect from a middle aged drunk woman at the company Christmas party or at a family wedding, who is all jacked on estrogen therapy to balance out her high testosterone levels leading her to grab her tits and smack her ass while simulating a blowjob on the wine bottle.

I used to watch Oprah and heard all about teens thinking anal sex is safe because they can’t get pregnant and would have parties that if I was there age, wouldn’t get invited to, where they all get together and suck dick. I don’t know how old some of you fucks are, but when I was 17, I don’t think girls shaved their boxes, bikini waxes weren’t common, virginity was and so were bad fit jeans and turtleneck sweaters. Whenever I’d asks girls about masturbating they’d get offended, when I’d get them alone in a room, they would barely want to make out, but on those lucky days they’d let me rub them over their panties. The only blowjobs anyone was getting was from the class whore who was molested by her father and knew all the tricks, but I always stayed away from her….because I felt bad for her. I was never a fan of molestation despite popular belief because I think my stepdaughters are hot.

Speaking of molestation, I was told that I could get arrested for posting pictures of an underage girl doing slutty things on a site that links to porn, I really hope that doesn’t happen because I would hate to get charged with kiddy porn. I know that that is probably the worst fucking crime out there and I always hated creeps that fuck with kids and get off to kids because kids are harmless. The thugs in prison feel the same way as I do and kill motherfuckers who end up there for doing that kind of thing, but I am banking on the fact that Hayden Panettiere is almost 18, makes her own money, does her own thing and where I am from, 14 is legal. So if she does this for a picture, it’s good enough for me to post it. So that’s why these are going up. If anyone asks, I blame Paris Hilton for turning this generation onto being porn stars. Maybe it’ll land her back in prison or at least paying out some Civil Suit when some young girl get AIDS or pregnant by following her lead. If people could bring down Judas Priest for people committing suicide or Marilyn Manson for columbine, someone needs to get on the blame Paris train and make some motherfucking moves.

Posted in:Ass|Hayden Panettiere|Lick|Unsorted

2007

27

Jun

I am – Hayden Panettiere Lickin’ Ass of the Day

1 Comment »

Girls these days are crazy. This Hayden slut has grown up so fast. Bitch is already being funny by licking bronze asses and to me that is one step away from giving rim jobs while jerking off random older men in attempts to further her career and have a good time. This is the kind of joke I’d expect from a middle aged drunk woman at the company Christmas party or at a family wedding, who is all jacked on estrogen therapy to balance out her high testosterone levels leading her to grab her tits and smack her ass while simulating a blowjob on the wine bottle.

I used to watch Oprah and heard all about teens thinking anal sex is safe because they can’t get pregnant and would have parties that if I was there age, wouldn’t get invited to, where they all get together and suck dick. I don’t know how old some of you fucks are, but when I was 17, I don’t think girls shaved their boxes, bikini waxes weren’t common, virginity was and so were bad fit jeans and turtleneck sweaters. Whenever I’d asks girls about masturbating they’d get offended, when I’d get them alone in a room, they would barely want to make out, but on those lucky days they’d let me rub them over their panties. The only blowjobs anyone was getting was from the class whore who was molested by her father and knew all the tricks, but I always stayed away from her….because I felt bad for her. I was never a fan of molestation despite popular belief because I think my stepdaughters are hot.

Speaking of molestation, I was told that I could get arrested for posting pictures of an underage girl doing slutty things on a site that links to porn, I really hope that doesn’t happen because I would hate to get charged with kiddy porn. I know that that is probably the worst fucking crime out there and I always hated creeps that fuck with kids and get off to kids because kids are harmless. The thugs in prison feel the same way as I do and kill motherfuckers who end up there for doing that kind of thing, but I am banking on the fact that Hayden Panettiere is almost 18, makes her own money, does her own thing and where I am from, 14 is legal. So if she does this for a picture, it’s good enough for me to post it. So that’s why these are going up. If anyone asks, I blame Paris Hilton for turning this generation onto being porn stars. Maybe it’ll land her back in prison or at least paying out some Civil Suit when some young girl get AIDS or pregnant by following her lead. If people could bring down Judas Priest for people committing suicide or Marilyn Manson for columbine, someone needs to get on the blame Paris train and make some motherfucking moves.

Posted in:Ass|Hayden Panettiere|Lick|Unsorted

2007

27

Jun

I am – Daisy Fuentes Bikini Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

I know that none of you really care about Daisy Fuentes, she was hot in the late 80s and early 90s being on a lot of obscure shit like MTV Latino and in magazine spreads shit. She was considered some hot piece of ass for the era. Then in the late 90s she got to hosting America’s Funniest People and emotionally ate herself into disaster that lead her into all kinds of informercials for some Pilates bullshit but I could be wrong because I don’t have a TV. I had no idea that she was in her 40s, so I guess that means she’s lookin’ good for her age, eating pizza and drinking champagne making all her cuban brothers watch in jealousy as they eat their rationed bread and build rafts out of tires to make their own way to Miami to live a similar dream thanks to Daisy for paving the way for them….

I once had a Cuban hooker but you don’t want to hear my stories about communism. So I’ll just stick to the Daisy Fuentes Bikini Pictures.

Posted in:Bikini|Daisy Fuentes|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

27

Jun

I am – Michelle Marsh Has Huge Tits of the Day

6 Comments »

I saw these pictures of Michelle Marsh trying to cover up her tits while running down the beach yesterday, I was going to post them, but realized that I never break stories, no sites link me, so why bother rushing it. I woke up today and saw them all over the place, so maybe it was my big break, but I doubt it.

Michelle Marsh has retardedly big tits. I am not really a fan of huge tits because they are usually either fake and remind me of dudes who get off to Anime cartoons and those guys make me feel uncomfortable, or they are on a fat chick and fat chick tits are fat tits and fat tits are usually pretty dumpy. I also like living in the future, you know thinking about where the fuck things are going, instead of just enjoying shit for what it is today and every time I look at these fuckers I see a 80 year old woman with the biggest fucking hangers around. But I guess I shouldn’t be so against this bitch just because she’s stacked. It’s not her fault that she feels like having basketball tits is a good thing, and so do you and that’s why bitch has a career, so who I am to really say anything….

I was on the bus the other day because I take the bus sometimes when I have places to go which is pretty much never, but I was bored and thought it would be a good 2 dollars of entertainment. You see in the summer bitches wear less clothes and some days while lookin for inspiration, I like to get it out of everyday people. Anyway, this one girl, who must have been a stripper, but a bad stripper, because real strippers have black drug dealing boyfriends drive them around, had these insane set of tits. Her face was busted up bad enough for me to think she shoulda invested a little less on the tits and more on a new face, but that’s not the point because no one was looking at her face. These things were half exposed and everyone stared, so I guess if you’re a chick, you can get all that attention you’re craving by exposing your tits. It’s a pretty simple life lesson. You could also get attention by not wearing panties an short skirts, by fingering yourself in public or by talking about how badly you like taking it in the ass.

Michelle Marsh does it well, take her lead and send me pictures.

2007

27

Jun

I am – Noelia the Puerto Rican Singer's Sex Tape of the Day

21 Comments »

I have no idea who this is and I assume she’s not that famous because Puerto Rico isn’t big enough to have celebrities, unless they come to America and dress like J.Lo, but I do know that she was in a Sex Tape and that this is that Sex Tape. The fucking quality of the sound makes me assume these fuckers are using some 1950’s video camera because they are all third world and shit, but she takes it in the ass and that’s really what dreams are made of.

The reality of the whole thing is that if you are a popstar anywhere, even if you’re from some middle of fucking no where russian town, you shouldn’t let your boyfriend film you fucking, it’s going to hit the internet. The dream may be that it launches you into international fame, but reality is that people like you just like seeing girls fuck and it doesn’t matter who they are or what they do. I can guarantee that none of you fucks are going out to buy her CDs after seeing this, but at least you got to see it.

I love that celebrity sex tapes don’t use condoms. I don’t think this bitch is a celebrity, but I do think that real celebs don’t wear condoms either, that’s why they all have herpes. I was sent a few porno movies a while ago and every fucking dude in them wore condoms, I guess it’s the law after that whole AIDS scare a few years ago, but I was raised on watching condomless sex, and I don’t think you should bang that random without a condom on, because STDs suck, but if you’re going to jerk off to some porn, why the hell would they throw in a tool that fucks up your hard ons in real life. That would be like throwing in a picture of your mom in the top right corner like they do for deaf people on Sesame Street saying shit like “Son, I know what you’re doing, stop that, your mother is watching”.

Either way – Here’s the video – It’s NSFW – It’s from Rapidshare – It’s a RAR File – I don’t Know How To Convert/Upload – If you can do it, send it my way, thanks….
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You can stream it here
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Posted in:Noelia|Popstar|Porn|Sex Tape|Unsorted

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