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Archive for the cleavage Category

2009

10

Feb

Bridget Marquardt’s Tits with Her Boyfriend of the Day

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These pics are from a couple of days ago, I am not sure where this Playboy whore and her boyfriend are going or coming from and I am not a stylist or know much about fashion, I mean just the other day I figured out that suspenders look really awesome with my sweat pants and they keep my pants from flashing the world my ass every time I bend over, unfortunately other people don’t see both the functionality and style it provides. Shit is both modern and convenient and I just get pointed at and laughed at everywhere I go. Motherfuckers think they’re peer pressure will stop me, well it won’t, I’m not stopping til every fat man out there rocks a pair of these new school cotton overalls.

That said, this Bridget Marquartd bitch’s dress is fucking ugly, it reminds me of your sci-fi fantasy club’s dress-up day, where your name was picked out of the hat to be the fairy princess or some shit because there’s no girls in the fucking club because sci-fi fantasy clubs are for losers and girls, even if they are ugly, know how to spot and avoid a fucking loser, and that’s by not going to sci-fi fantasy club meetings. .

Oh and I guess 85 year old men aren’t really her type, it was a one time gold diggin’ opportunity knocks deal, because the guy she’s with looks like he doesn’t needs his diapers changed unless it’s part of some sick role playing game only a man who fucks girls who fuck senior citizens would play.

Here are the pics…

Posted in:Bridget Marquardt|cleavage|Tits

2009

10

Feb

Some Tits on the Grammy Red Carpet of the Day

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This is a true story for those of you who care, I was in the middle of writing this post on the Grammy’s. I was getting all worked up about how fucking irritating they are and how I can’t stomach the bullshit they spew from Jay Z and Coldplay duets, to a bunch of rappers in black and white, to two teenage popstars claiming to be best friends, even though we all know they hate each other and jealous of each other’s success in fucking the other one’s boyfriend, to the Jonas Brother’s a Stevie Wonder and Dean Martin getting a nod years after his death, when it hit me…..

I had a dizzy spell, I fell to the ground, got back up and checked my pulse, it was beating fucking fast, like so fast I thought it was the end of my life and couldn’t even count because there was no blood getting to my fucking brain, so I called 911, then cancelled because I can’t handle the whole stretcher scene I’ll cause in my building, so I took a cab there, spent 8 hours in Emergency, had a few tests only to be told it’s either the coffee I drank, or a fucking blood clot, so if my legs swell, go back to the hospital if not, I’m good to go.

Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t fucking know what these pudgy legs look like swollen or not swollen, they always look fucking swollen to me, I’m fat as fuck, anyway, I didn’t die, but I blame this Grammy’s post for doing it to me and I wasn’t gonna let that fucker win….

That said, I wasn’t going to bother posting every picture of every celebrity asshole at the fucking Grammy’s, so I chose to only post the ones showing off their tits, because their tits are really all I care about, since I know they all have rank pussy. Yes, I used the same fucking line in the last post, repetition makes my life easier.

Either way, I felt I need to finish it and post it to celebrate being alive another day…

Audrina and her new face….if she’s there this Grammy shit must be legit

Meatloaf and Mary Kate Olsen….

Lisa Rinna and Her Plastic Body Parts…

Some Chick Who’s Last Name is Veronica Who I’ve Never Heard Of…

Marisa Miller Cuz She’s a Model and Has Tight Body, Even If She Looks Like She’s Had One Too Many Groupie Cumshots on Tour Buses in Her Youth of Many Years Ago…

The CSI Chick Fatter than Ever But Still Hotter Than All These Whores…

Paris Hilton Because I Am Friends With Some Girl Pretending To Be Her on Facebook….Not Because I Think Her Tits are Hot…

A Little Brooke Hogan Cuz She’ll Never Win a Grammy So She Goes to Dream

Nikki Cox and Her Fake Lips and Big Ol’ Tits and Her Comedian Idol Host Boyfriend…

Some American Idol Piece of Shit….

Some Wayne’s World Piece of Shit…

Some Natalie Cole Duet With Her Dead Father and By Father I Mean Tits…

Posted in:cleavage|Grammy's|Sluts|Tits

2009

09

Feb

Some Pre-Grammy Tits of the Day

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The Grammy’s, despite being some staged bullshit, are a big deal for the music industry, at least I think they are, and they make a whole fucking production out of the thing. It’s like this obnoxious girl I know who like to celebrate her birthday over the course of 4 or 5 days, it’s like bitch, no one gives a fuck about your fucking birthday, why the fuck do you try to drag us all out 3 days before the fucking shit, and 3 days after the fucking shit like you’re some kind of fucking princess. The only reason we bother going to your birthday the day of your fucking birthday is because it means you’re one year closer to fucking death. I don’t mean to be morbid, but it’s the pecking order and sometimes, people and their egos deserve to be offed.

That said, I wasn’t going to bother posting every picture of every celebrity asshole at the fucking events that surrounded the Grammy’s, so I chose to only post the ones showing off their tits, because their tits are more valuable than the rest of these sluts. Most of these bitches are nobodies, I like them better than the people who think they’re somebodies…

Some chick named Dollicia Bryan and her nipple….

Monster Khloe Kardashian and Her See Through With Some Nipple Poking out Disgustingness….

Bill Mahr With His Jungle Fever…

Pregnant or Possibly Pregnant Old Lookin’ Fergie…..

Fantasia and Some Saggy Fucking Shit….

Natasha Beddingfield and Her Breast Bone Makes Me Hungry for Chicken….

Pink’s Pecs…..

Christina Milian in Her Bandage Dress, Leaving a Grammy Party… Sure, It’s Not Quite the Same Bandage She’d Need After I’m Done With Her Ass Because There’s No Hello Kitty on the Shit, But Still Hot To Me…

Bonus – Larry King’s Swining Gold Digging Whore and Her Fake Tits…

Posted in:cleavage|Pre-Grammy|Sluts|Tits

2009

03

Feb

Scarlett Johansson Has New Hair of the Day

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The day you start caring about what a girl you’ve never met does to her hair is the day you have to come to terms with the fact that you are really fucking strange. Lucky for you, today is that day, so now that we’ve recognized the problem, you can start working on fixing it.

Sure, I am the kind of guy who doesn’t notice when my own wife gets her hair done, even if she changes the fucking color, sure, I never look at my wife or listen to her when she talks, but I can still stand back and say that just because you are a die hard fan of a girl’s tits, or maybe a little obsessed with a girl making everyone around you feel a little uncomfortable, the second you start talking about what look you like best on her, you’ve gone into the realm of creepy. Sure, you’ve spent many afternoons jerking off to her, but that doesn’t mean you have a fucking connection with her, so be a fucking man or enter hair dressing school, because somethin’s not right here and I’m gonna go with…you.

Posted in:cleavage|Hair|Scarlett Johansson

2009

21

Jan

Rihanna and Her Hot Cleavage of the Day

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Her name is Rihanna, she’s pretty much the biggest thing in music, I mean unless you count Beyonce’s fat ass, but that’s a different kind of big that comes from eating too much Popeye’s chicken, the same Popeye’s chicken that lead to Beyonce’s husband running off to the islands to find new pussy that doesn’t looks and smell like cottage cheese and instead he molded this superstar.

So I guess I should be thanking Popeye’s chicken for making Rihanna happen and for making Beyonce fall from her throne because she broke the fucking thing at a family function. I usually try my best to not thank fast food companies, since they are the devil and ruined my wife’s ass and in turn my sex life, but I guess Rihanna and my wife’s premature impending death proves that they do some good, so don’t believe all the negative publicity they get….and look at Rihanna’s cleavage.

Posted in:cleavage|Rihanna

2009

14

Jan

Brooke Hogan and Her Fake Tits Go Shopping With Her Entourage of the Day

5 Comments »

Keeping with her Tampa classy roots, you know from being the budget destination of Florida, Brooke Hogan brought her retarded fake tits, fake hair and broad shoulders out shopping. I hear after this they made their way to the local gas station to grab some twinkies and diet coke for lunch and then went on to chain smoke while reminiscing about the glory days working the gate a Busch Gardens while getting their bangs styled into a claw. Sure, I’ve never been to Tampa, but it reminds me of the local poor French trash and that’s pretty much what they do, only instead of talking about working at Busch Gardens, they talk about being on Welfare while playing Bingo, and instead of drinking Diet Coke they go for the no name brand’s hard stuff, but their daughters looks like Brooke Hogan, only a little more haggard and emaciated from chain smoking at the age of 10. They also take it up the ass on the first date and don’t mind if you put them on the internet….where as Brooke Hogan’s a little more conservative (read: boring) for that. She’s like a free hooker with a broken vagina.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|cleavage|Implant Tits

2008

23

Dec

Audrina’s New Boyfriend Looks Like Your Only Girlfirend….of the Day

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So the Hills had some Season Finale party that I am sure a lot of people are hoping is the series finale party, because we’ve finally caught onto their scam that their reality isn’t really reality at all and Audrina showed up, trying to be the fucking comedian of the night, by bring this “man pillow” I’ve seen advertised on the internet from Japan to make lonely girls feel like they are being cuddled at night, as her date. I can only assume this ties into the show somehow, like Audrina’s been looped into some relationship scandal and since she’s not clever to come up with something like this on her own, the good people at MTV wrote it into the “going to the season finale party” script and none of it really matters because it doesn’t make me laugh.

If anything it depresses me and makes me think of all those guys out there who can’t get pussy and are saving up for a Real Doll but can only afford the torso, turning them into weirdo’s who can’t get off to actual girls with heads and limbs and takes them down a very dark path because the 1500 dollar torso is way more affordable than the 6000 dollar full body doll.

So Audrina’s shitty comedy is another man’s shitty reality, but the good news is that it’s only natural for her to date a lifeless inanimate thing, even if he’s just 25% of a body, because she’s a fucking lifeless robot and I hear their conversation isn’t all that different than what you’ve seen of her on the show and here are her pics.

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|cleavage|sex doll|Tits

2008

17

Dec

Rihanna’s Got Some Big New Tits of the Day

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Looks like Christmas came early for Rihanna, or at least for Chris Brown, because it looks like she’s jacked her tits up a little to balance shit out with the rest of her body (ass). Sure she could be wearing straps, cups, external titty inserts and all that shit to give this illusion that I’ve seen one too many times in my life and unlike most guys, never got bothered by it. I figure since I have very little going on in my pants, life and wallet, they’re allowed to have little going on in their bra, just as long as there is a vagina for me to finger bang, and it doesn’t even have to be their vagina, it could be a friends or even my wife’s while thinking about them and I’m good.

The only time I got mad about this smoke and mirror shit is the light I spent chasing this motherfucker around all night because her tits looked good and she looked easy, only to realize 10 minutes into making out with her that the titties were nothing more than a stuffed bra, but the cock dicking in my leg was 100 percent real. I was already in too deep, the damage had been done, so I figured, might as well roll with this and see where this takes me, and let me tell you this much, it took me to a very dark place…

Not quite as dark as I imagine Rihanna’s nipples, but dark nevertheless, now stop reading (wishful thinking) and start staring, because when shit’s in picture, there’s no way for them to catch you creepin’ and police won’t be knockin at your door as a prime suspect in their death because they found DNA samples at the crime scene that match your DNA only to find out that “she was asking for it because she was wearing leather pants, a corest and was busting out of her shirt like a whore” doesn’t hold up in court….so in a lot of ways, these pictures save lives. Enjoy.

Posted in:cleavage|Rihanna|Tits

2008

15

Dec

Rihanna’s Got Amazing Cleavage of the Day

3 Comments »

I am a Rihanna fan. I’m not into her music because I am not a 12 year old girl, even though I wish I was, but I am into her dominatrix costumes because I have a penis, even though it’s hardly there and barely works,. I am also into her whole rise to fame and love the fact that she’s some poor girl from the islands who would have otherwise been working as a chambermaid for some rich family to get that America “The Land of Opportunity” experience, but instead she just slept with Beyonce’s husband who offered her a record deal to keep her mouth shut, which is a lot more than I’ve given a girl who I’ve cheated on my wife with, which is usually just their hourly charge and if it’s during an outbreak, then a little herpes, and that shit is for life, not that the kind of girls I get with don’t already have a close relationship with the virus….

I don’t know what I am talking about, but I do know that I had no idea Rihanna had tits like this.

Posted in:Bra|cleavage|Rihanna

2008

15

Dec

Megan Fox Does the Video Game Awards of the Day

3 Comments »

I am tired of hearing this bitch being compared to Angelina Jolie. I don’t give a fuck that she’s biting Jolie’s style in hopes of being the next Jolie, I just care that people are treating her like some kind of fucking accomplishment to be the new hot chick bad girl, when all she is is an insecure copycat, proven in the fact that she’s dating David from 90210.

The truth is that I have met many strippers in my day, all of them had some celebrity or pornstar they looked up to and tried to be, but no matter how many times I’d see a fake blonde bitch in a red one piece bathing suit doin’ the Pam Anderson, or how many times I’d see a skinny teenage girl in Christina Aguilera’s catsuit dancing to her Dirty song, I’d know I was dealing with lower grade versions of the shit, even if I’d still fuck them or pay them 10 dollars to touch their tits, despite them giving me this attitude that I’m lucky to be getting with them before their big concert or trip to the fucking South of France, because they thought they were fuckin famous, despite being local whores….

Now I am not a fan of Angelina, I don’t really give a fuck about her, but I hate all the love this Megan Fox gets because she doesn’t need an ego as egos are the one thing that prevents a girl from following her natural calling of suckin’ random dick in bar bathrooms, but instead feeling like their too good to suck dick at all because they are Megan fucking Fox and can’t be fucking bothered, and here she is at the Video Game awards doing her thing for the people who made her who she is, you know the guys who never leave their house because they’re about to get a girl they’ve been talking to on the other side of the world, to show them their mystical powers on World of Warcraft…who constantly big her up and send her fan mail fucking up my whole plan for her to follow the insecure little girl I know she is and maybe that’s the real reason I hate videogames.

Posted in:cleavage|Megan Fox|Video Game Awards