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Archive for the cleavage Category

2008

22

Oct

Pink Shows Off The Little Cleavage She’s Got of the Day

2 Comments »

Pink wore some tank top that reminds me of some wartime fantasies I once had, of a war that took place before women were allowed in on the site, where I am a hero soldier and being forced to fuck the most feminine of the group with the other soldiers because we’ve been lost in the jungle for the last 8 weeks and horny as fuck. I actually never had that fantasy, but saying she looks like a dude and talking about her ripped pecs is pretty much useless conversation. It’s like calling McCain Old, Lohan a slut, Paris Hilton a herpes ridden whore, Obama a terrorist, the cast of The Hills useless, DJ AM a Bar Mitzvah DJ, shit’s been done and I guess that’s why lookin’ at these pictures of her don’t really warrant a post, but I figure it’s key to give some of the dudes who are on the fence about being homos something to get off to, without having to jerk off to pictures of dudes, because once you’ve reached that point, there’s pretty much no denying you’re a gay…..not that anyone straight or gay could actually get off to Pink and her little tits, but I got nothing better going on right now so deal with it.

Posted in:cleavage|Pink

2008

07

Oct

Katy Perry’s Fat Cleavage of the Day

9 Comments »

Katy Perry claims to be a DD bra size and I don’t believe it. What I do believe is that at one point in time she was a DD bra size, back when she was eating and before she got way too famous for her own good with her stupid fucking music that rapes my fucking soul every time I hear it, and with trying to live with herself and her new found money, she turned to cocaine instead of donuts. She already looks less fat than she was 2 weeks ago and as the weight disappears so will her fat chick tits, until she ends up on the street corner selling blowjobs to pay for crack, where she belongs. She is last weeks kitchen garbage and cleavage or not, I’m ready for her to disappear, which isn’t saying much, because I hated her the second I heard that song, but it is saying something.

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Posted in:cleavage|Katy Perry

2008

03

Oct

Jojo Has a New Boyfriend of the Day

4 Comments »

If you’ve been wondering what Jojo Levesque has been up to the last few years, it turns out she’s been fucking giant stuffed animals and as weird as that may be, I am sure you’ve done or jerked off to a lot weirder. Like the time you went on that fishing trip with your buddies and though it would be funny to shove you dick in the freshly caught trout, or the time you made your own vagina out of a bowl of warm pasta, or the time you spent a week crafting a sex machine, that you had no one to use it with, so you borrowed the neighbor’s dog…you get what I am trying to say here….you are a sick fuck and that’s the end of that.

Posted in:cleavage|JoJo|Uncategorized

2008

25

Sep

Aubrey O’Day’s Cruelty To Animals of the Day

5 Comments »

I guess being obnoxious trash in an obnoxious shitty band that was created on an obnoxious garbage show produced by an obnoxious hip hop superstar wasn’t enough for Aubrey O’Day’s quest to get noticed, so she went out and got herself an obnoxious lap dog to take out with her everywhere she goes because she hates being alone, making people ask “who is that girl who brought her dog to the restaurant, that’s kind of inappropriate”, leading Aubrey to think she’s being noticed, recognized and liked until she lifts up her skirt and starts trying to shove a fork into her weathered vagina to see if it’s still breathing, making the people around her forget about the dog, because they are too disgusted, amazed, intrigued or thrown off by what they just witnessed and forgetting about the dog is the totally wrong outcome of this whole getting a dog in the first place, so Aubrey gets back to the attention whore drawing board and realizes that everyone in LA has an obnoxious white lap dog that they take to events, what if she was to decorate her dog like a Christmas tree, then everyone will notice the dynamic duo and this is the result of that brainstorm session…..

The whole thing makes no sense to me, decorating your dog seems like something only serious trash would do. You know the same kind of people who decorate their sweaters with Bedazzlers, or their car dashboard with stuffed animals, or their shitty trailer park home with everything Mickey Mouse…actually it is all starting to make sense…

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|cleavage

2008

17

Sep

Rosario Dawson’s Got Some Serious Cleavage of the Day

4 Comments »

Rosario Dawson’s dress is like a window into her big fuckin’ tits. They remind me of the times I’ve tried to get girls to press their tits against their car passenger window as they drive by me on the highway, or the time I got my wife to press her tits up against the glass shower door when washing one year when we were on vacation and she was only fractionally as fat as she is today, before breaking the fuckin’ thing off the fuckin’ hinges. It reminds me of a highschool party I went to when I was 30 and all the girls were drunk and treating me like a fuckin’ star because I bought them alcohol when no one else would and the dudes at the party told me that the girls were flashing people out of the living room window but by the time I got there, the cops already showed up and were breaking things up. It was a time when I felt like Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and all the other celebrity party hosts, only instead of getting paid 40k to be the guest at a club, I paid 40 dollars on a couple cases of beer. Either way, here are Rosario Dawson’s amazing tits.

Posted in:cleavage|Rosario Dawson

2008

12

Sep

Katherine Mcphee Got Some Crazy Tits of the Day

11 Comments »

Katherine Mcphee may not have much of a career since losing American Idol…or did she win American Idol? Truth is if you’re on American Idol, even if you win, you still lose to the rest of the world, because reality TV sucks and is the single most obnoxious way to get famous and is the real downfall of this generation, I remember a time when the only commoners who could get on TV were on the local news as a street comment, or on the National News if you did something really bad, or the audience of talk shows or contestants on Game Shows and no one remembered you the second the show was over, but now, everyone is fuckin’ famous, everyone is on YouTube, everyone is just like the stars and people recognize them and pay them to do stupid things, when they should have been at home doing the fuckin’ dishes watching sitcoms and getting ready for bed because they have an early day at the factory tomorrow or some shit….

But Katherine Mcphee does have some pretty amazing tits.

Note: I don’t know if that reads the way I want it to, so if you’re confused, it’s ok, my pee is brown and need water.

Posted in:cleavage|Katherine McPhee

2008

05

Sep

Tila Tequila’s Got Some Hot Cleavage of the Day

8 Comments »

I met Tila Tequila once, if you count being in the same building as her when she was hosting a celebrity event after lying to one of the bouncers saying I was her manager getting me about 20 feet of her and not really bothering to check her out because I was more interested in seeing people who go out to get autographs by this nobody, because they’d probably be more than willing to believe me when I tell them that I have an MTV show nobody watches and that I am a guest of Tila’s and that if they show me their tits, buy me a drink and put my penis in their mouth, I’ll introduce them, but instead got too drunk to do much more than drink more and not talk to anyone.

She seemed nice enough, like she knew she didn’t deserve the attention she was getting or the money she’s made being a whore and a liar who isn’t all that hot, and that made her more appreciative to her fans, despite not letting them hug her. That night I found out that Tila had a boyfriend the entire 2 seasons of her show and that everything you see about her out in public is a fucking lie and all part of her image, including this fake titty cleavage and weird hipster headband, but the Alien head is all real.

Bonus That’s Not Really a Bonus – Here are some pictures of her really ugly lesbian publicity stunt, who was once Lohan’s really ugly lesbian stunt and who is trying to stay in the picture because her daddy wasn’t there for her all those years he worked long hours at Yahoo! and someone’s gonna notice her fuck, at least that’s what she’s hoping, what she doesn’t realize is that we all notice her, because she’s fucking uglier than my wife’s shit that I have to clean off the toilet, only more Jewish.

Posted in:cleavage|Tila Tequila

2008

26

Aug

Camila Alves is a Pretty Hot Hairy Mom of the Day

5 Comments »

I was in an Indian run grocery store yesterday buying my wife some supplies to get her through the night, like cheap ice cream and a bag of chips. I was there with my stepdaughter who wanted to come along for the ride, even though it was more of a walk down the street. I started playing around in front of the hairy brown clerk by taking her obscure product line of native Indian food and rubbed it on my stepdaughter’s face, saying things like “you’re going to get an Indian disease” and “now you have Malaria” and “you’re going to turn the color of your mother’s shit she stained the toilet with earlier today” and “now you smell like curry” and after about 5 minutes of laughing at the crap this chick was selling, she pulled out a hammer and said to get the fuck out of her store before she attacked in her thick accent I couldn’t really take serious leading to me laughing more, until she got out from behind the counter and started to muscle me out. It turns out that she didn’t find laughing at her culture as funny as I did.

Now although Camila Alves is no Indian or Sri Lankan, she’s got the same sideburns as the lady who assaulted me last night and despite that hair little rat face, I find her hot enough to get pregnant, good job Matthew Mcconaughey, this bitch bounced back proper.

Posted in:Camila Alves|cleavage|Hot

2008

08

Jul

Jessica Simpson and Her Cougar Cleavage of the Day

8 Comments »

It was Jessica Simpson’s birthday get together, at least that’s what people are saying, because her birthday is in 2 days. If you are wondering why I know that, which I am sure you are, because I don’t even know my own birthday, it’s because I looked it up because she looked like she was getting on in years. It turns out that she’s turning 28, so that means she’s only a few years away from being a dried up cougar at the end of the hotel bar, licking her lips for some college kids in her cleavage shirt, trying to cover up her muff gut, in hopes of getting dick and encouraging the kids to cum in her, or on her face so she can artificially inseminate herself, only to find out she’s waited too long and is barren.

It’s a sad lonely life for such a hot set of tits.

Posted in:cleavage|Jessica Simpson|Tits

2008

06

Jun

Lindsay Lohan’s Got Some Hot Tits of the Day

9 Comments »

I was at a friends watching TV and celebrity expert Perez Hilton was on talking about Lindsay Lohan and how she’s not a full dyke, but more of a girl in an open relationship with a girl who still hooks up with dudes on the side but keeps that shit under the radar because it will make her look bad. I figured who the fuck cares about who she’s fucking, since it’s not me, and in my life have never really paid much notice to girls who girls who aren’t fucking me are fucking because it’s frustrating. I’d rather just look at their big ol’ tits and think about them bouncing in my face instead of the face of who they are bouncing for, it’s less abusive to my self esteem that is already pretty much non-existent.

What I do know, is that Lohan has and will remain the only celebrity I would ever kick it with, but that’s just because we’re connected at the soul and you can’t really argue with destiny…

Posted in:cleavage|Lindsay Lohan|Tits