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Archive for the cleavage Category

2008

06

Jun

Hayden Panettiere Almost Has an Upskirt of the Day

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So the tank Panettiere decided to get out of her regular fridge costume and pretend to be a lady for a night and the exciting thing about being a lady is that they wear dresses that paparazzi usually get their cameras up inside because they are perverts, the less exciting thing about being a lady when you are Hayden Panettiere is that your legs are too damn short to give them a decent angle to make this post worth your time.

I guess none of that matters, what does matter is the effort this bitch is putting into showing off some cleavage, I see a serious attempt to have tits and that deserves a high five, like the time Hayden took on 15 dudes in the ring and walked away undefeated.

Posted in:cleavage|Hayden Panettiere

2008

23

May

Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Big Aids Tits of the Day

Petra Nemcova brought her tits out to an Aids charity because she knows the one thing people with Aids want to see is a hot set of tits they can’t fuck because girls like Petra don’t like having sex with dude’s who have Aids. Not to mention most dudes with Aids are gay and those who aren’t are for the most part stuck banging the ex-heroin addict crackwhores no one wants because hot put together chicks Aids are hard to find.

Not that Petra really needs to worry because no one with Aids will actually be at the event. Their disease just funded it for celebrities to show off how much they care and probably cost millions of dollars to produce all paid for with money donated to the chairty that would probably be better suited going to the cause than throwing parties for people who don’t eve have Aids, but do have a lot of unprotected sex. I guess it’s because celebrities don’t want to go to Aids parties with Aids patients because it’s a bad look for them, even though someone like Petra is from the Czech, which probably has the highest Aids rate in Europe since it’s got a pretty heavy sex and porn trade goin’ down there.

Either way, here are her tits.

Posted in:cleavage|Petra Nemcova|Tits

2008

21

May

Jessica Simpson Cabo Cleavage in a Bikini of the Day

*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*

These are some pretty pathetic pictures of Jessica Simpson in a bikini in Cabo, but not as pathetic as me writing about Jessica Simpson’s pathetic bikini pictures, but I figure that she needs some attention since all the focus has been on her sister the last couple of weeks and Jessica is used to having Ashlee ride her coat tails and her bratty spoiled piece of shit attitude doesn’t really like what’s going on, but she can’t seem to find the words to explain what she’s feeling because she’s too stupid so she’s turn to the bottle like most illiterates do, only most illiterates are homeless people who could never adapt in the real world and not big breasted rich chicks.

I don’t know what I am talking about, but I feel like I learned that on the Cosby Show when Sammy Davis Jr made a guest appearance as an illiterate, sure it may not be all that recent an episode but it was considered big news the last time I had TV, it’s not my fault you’ve moved on. Ditcher.

*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*
*Images removed in compliance with DMCA*

Posted in:Bikini|Cabo|cleavage|Jessica Simpson

2008

20

May

Alessandra Ambrosio has Some Hot Pregnant Tits of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio is part of the reason I want to get a model pregnant, even though that dream is not possible for me since my good years are far behind me and because my good years weren’t all that good, I was just a little more put together and about 10 years farther away from my impending death. I know that if I made other life choices I could have ended up with a model’s baby, like if I never got fired from that old folks home, maybe one of the girls coming to see their dying grandmother was hot, or even if I became addicted to dance instead of addicted to drinking, I could have found myself performing at some model conference. The truth is you just never know, but I do know that it wasn’t written in my cards.

The reason I would want to get a model pregnant, is that despite having a disgusting little parasite eating off her and growing inside her, she is still hot enough to fuck and not worry about how gross the experience actually is and just follow your balls direction in cumming inside her again. It’s like give something worth eating as my load showers it’s little developing head.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|cleavage|Tits

2008

07

May

Ashlee Simpson’s Tits With Her Girlfriend of the Day

I wonder if Ashlee Simpon’s boyfriend resents her while watching her walk around the house in her underwear or naked. It’s like no matter how hard he tries to dress like a girl and be a girl, he just will never be a girl. No matter how many prosthetic breasts he shoves in his bra, or how creative he gets when folding his dick into his scrotum to make a vaginal lookin’ fleshy mess and no matter how many dicks he sucks, songs he writes, nights he cries himself to sleep like he’s PMSing, he will never be a girl. He’s just forced to look at her tits and hate them for being something he will never have and when he tries to fuck her and gets mad that he isn’t the one getting fucked because she’s too wholesome to explore shoving things in his ass and he’s too concerned with his image to go gay he just flips her over and shoves it in her ass to teach her a lesson for having a vagina that he will never have.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|cleavage|Tits

2008

07

May

Elisha Cuthbert’s Second Day in a Bikini of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Elisha Cuthbert is on Vacation in Hawaii and new bikini pictures of her from her trip with her boyfriend have hit because it turns out that people with money wear more than one outfit over the course of the week, something I can’t really relate to. I have my one trusty pair of jeans that are too small on me and my 3 T-shirts that I rotate as often as I have to based on smell. I do have a lot of pairs of socks because I’ve accumulated them over the years, they don’t match but they get the job done and I don’t really believe in underwear. I have the same pair of running shoes that I’ve had or about 7 years and that’s pretty much the story of me, but when Elisha Cuthbert pictures are being posted, I know that I’m not what you care about. I am a second rate citizen and can’t compete giving me more reason to hate this bitch for trying to steal my thunder. That said, she’s from Montreal and I’d love to find out what her home address is here so that I can invite myself over or Christmas Dinner. It’s probably a a lot better than the free shit they give you at the homeless shelter and it’s never too early to start planning.

BONUS – People Are Claiming This is A Nipple Slip…I Don’t See It…But Then Again…I’ve Had Sex

Posted in:Bikini|cleavage|Elisha Cuthbert

2008

06

May

Scarlett Johansson’s Cleavage of the Day

So some people love Scarlett Johansson and I am not one of those people. I find her annoying, sloppy and pretty much a waste of space. When I hear her annoying raspy voice when she’s in movies I just want to mute the shit and she always seems to play the same lazy slow moving cunt in every movie, because she’s a slow moving lazy cunt in real life.

I am not goin to lie, I saw Lost in Translation and as embarrassing as that is, it’s got nothing on her scene in her panties and despite her being the only real pussy in the movie, seeing her in her underwear kinda turned me onto Bill Murray as the only escape from lookin’ at her. All she has going for her is a decent set of fat tits, and that’s never really been enough for me to be a fan of anyone, but has been more of a justification for fuckin’ ugly chicks with big tits. The good news is that she realizes that she’s second rate and not all that hot because she’s getting married to Alanis Morissette’s sloppy seconds and I don’t know about you, but I know that sloppy seconds is a good gauge of the caliber of person you are. When I am aware of how disgusting a girl’s sloppies are, I never commit to that shit and that’s usually the reason why I don’t let them show me their exes because I can’t deal with the blow to the self-esteem it gives me, despite me usually being the worse of two evils.

The point is that dude was engaged to Alanis Morissette and that’s a whole lot more than a one night stand while drunk. Alanis is someone I’d ever get up inside and I have no fuckin’ standards so the thought of her dirty stink stained on Ryan Reynolds and dripping out of Scarlett confirms just how disgusting this slag is.

Posted in:cleavage|Scarlett Johansson

2008

25

Apr

Brooke Hogan’s Got a Wet Ass of the Day

Brooke Hogan is sad that her parents are staging a divorce and that her dad is running around with her older friend and mentor because bitches look the same. She’s so upset that the attention isn’t on her that’s she’s gone out and peed herself like a 2 year old kid because she knows that will get mommy and daddy’s attention and in some juvenile way, hopes that her emotional breakdown will bring their family together.

I never understood why kids were such pussies about their parents splitting up. It seems like a way better situation to be in. You don’t have to listen to the fuckers fight all the time, you have two homes so you can always escape whichever parent is pissing you off and the guilt your parents have for being failures by starting a family with someone they wrongfully thought they would stay with and the social shitstain they’ve become in their community leads to overcompensation that usually comes in the form of a lot of gifts. Whenever I see a kid cry about his parent’s divorcing I always laugh at how self-important people are, like their little bullshit family unit is relevant to the rest of the fuckin’ world and they should just look on the fuckin’ brightside instead of pulling a Lohan and blaming the divorce for her self-destruction. Shit’s fuckin’ weak so Brooke Hogan better pull the fuckin’ diaper up, shut the fuck up and film a fuckin’ sex tape because I want to know if she’s actually got a pussy or not because she’s broad and I like to think that’s the only revenge I can see fitting to show her parent’s how their failed marriage destroyed her that benefits me.

Posted in:Ass|Brooke Hogan|cleavage

2008

22

Apr

Jodie Marsh Does Cleavage of the Day

Jodie Marsh is another one of those sluts who doesn’t mind being a slut because she realizes that it pays more than being a prude who works at the local dinner and dies at 40 when she decides to hang herself because she’s 10,000 dollars in debt from an unnatural crotchet addiction and she feels so alone in this scary world. Her life could have been saved had she spent that 10,000 dollars of credit on a pair of fake tits, 15 years earlier, but instead she took the sad path. It’s one of those what if situations where you look at your life and wonder how different it would have been had you taken a different course, only in this case, that conscious decision isn’t really an unknown but her moral Christian upbringing just skewed her from making the right decision….

Either way, I was at the strip club, this slut was all trying to get me to get a dance with her and I pawned her off on my friend, who ended up rejecting her. I told her that if she was really serious about getting a dance, all she had to do was tell us “I want to grab your tits”, it’s this psychological thing where guys walk down the street everyday wanting to grab every tit they see, but girls never just offer it up, they play all hard to get and take work and when at a stripclub we don’t want to have to put ourselves out there, we want shit handed to us but for some reason strippers try to retain their dignity and in doing that end up rejecting my advice, call me and asshole and move onto some other sucker. I know that I can’t say no to a girl who asks me to grab her tits and I assume you feel the same way and that my advice was sound, but unfortunately for the slut she just didn’t value my opinion so fuck her. Here’s Jodie Marsh with her retarded cleavage.

Posted in:cleavage|Jodie Marsh|Tits

2008

28

Mar

Audrina Patridge Gets a Tattoo Cuz She’s Hardcore of the Day

Audrina Patridge is hanging with the wrong crowd. Her candy coated rich kid upbringing kept her on the rich side of the tracks. You know with tennis lessons and summer camp and luxury cars and now she’s trying to give the finger to her family by hanging with some big breasted, tattooed, lesbian biker chick. In trying to keep up with her new crew, she’s decided that the only way to get respect from them is to go out and get a gang tattoo on her wrist, potentially the best club slut place to get a tattoo, the only thing worse than that shit is if bitch gets it in white ink and it’s a playboy bunny or the Chanel logo or some stupid saying in another language or some shit, like every stripper dreams of getting. I guess it’s not her fault she’s trying harder than the rich Jewish girl I met getting pierced and changed out of her Jewish Girl outfit of the day, and rocked leather and tight jeans like it was halloween and she was actually hardcore and not a spoiled brat. The only hope we have is that the needle is tainted and she gets herself some AIDS and the good news is that she’s enough of a slut to make that happen on her own, without dirty needles. Either way, she’s got good cleavage so stare at it a bit, like you were there…..

UPDATE Ashton Kutcher’s stupid show can’t lure anyone high profile to fuck with the media and this is his genius idea of tricking the media into writing about some no name d-list slut so that he can get the last lame laugh. If this is a segment on the show, dude needs some better writers because I am not posting it cuz I care she’s getting a tattoo, I am writing it cuz her tits are busting out of her shirt….

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|cleavage|Tattoo